Stupid Deaths
"Hello, and welcome to Stupid Deaths- the Game Show of the Dead! I'm your host, Thanatos, coming live from Hephaestus TV! Please may all of our contestants today note that you are all live, so please do not swear. Children watch this show you foul-mouthed scoundrels! Okay, moving swiftly on- it's time to meet our guests!"
"Please welcome... Bianca di Angelo! Zoe Nightshade! And last but not least... Silena Beauregard! That's right folks- it's Ladies Night!"
"Have a seat, have a seat- and welcome to the show! Now, first on the agenda, quite a touchy subject for most- but it has to be asked. How did you all die? Bianca! You first, sweetheart."
"Yeah... thanks for having me, I guess. Uh, well- I was in this huge robot thingie, and kinda- died."
"What about the juicy details? An explosion perhaps? An unexpected betrayal? No? Oh all right, be a spoil sport, but I'm deducting points for this. What about you, Zoe dear?"
"Call me 'dear' one more time, you male half-wit, and I will kick you in the-"
"OK! OK! Point taken! Family show, thank you very much! Just tell me how you died. And make it interesting."
"I was killed by my father. And by a dragon. Kind of."
"Now this is what I'm looking for! This is quality stuff right here! Double points for you!"
"I'm flattered."
"Before we enter our second round, Silena- how did you die?"
"Some stupid drakon got in my way."
"How tantalisingly tragic- all of you! Let's check the scoreboard shall we? Bianca is on 10 points, Zoe is on 40 points and Silena- 30 points! Well done everyone! Now it's time for the next round! How exciting! For those who don't know, I'll explain the rules. Right then. I'll ask you all some death-related questions, with a couple of surprises... and all you have to do is answer them! Press the buzzer in front of you before you answer. Kapeesh?
"Yup."
"Sure thing."
"Is he talking English?"
"Let's get going then! Hands on buzzers, if you please. Question One... What is my favourite colour?"
Beep!
"Black?"
"No! It's canary yellow! Don't you watch the show at all?"
"Nope."
"Not once."
"Never."
"Well, why not?"
"Hades forgot to pay for the TV license."
"Don't lie to me! Hades can't get through the day without The Real Housewives of Hell! If there's on thing he pays for, it's the TV!"
"Oh all right, all right. I'm an Olympian Get Me Out Of Here is on at the same time!"
"Curse Apollo and Artemis with their comedic skills! I'll have them someday... oh yeah! We're on the air... Question Two! How many Olympians have guest starred on my very well-known show?"
Beep!
"Ah! Zoe! What is your answer?"
"Huh? What is this?"
"You pressed the buzzer."
"What? I see no butter."
"Not butter! Buzzer! Oh I give up. Someone else answer. How about you Silena?"
"I don't know, eight? Can we hurry this up- I want to see Charlie."
"I don't believe it- she's right! 10 points for Silena! Next question! What pet do I have? ... Anyone? Oh, come on! It's a turtle called Pebbles!"
Ding! Ding!
"Thankfully, that's all the time we have folks!"
"Oh, I was enjoying myself."
"Same."
"But where is the butter? I do not get it."
"See you next time on Stupid Deaths! Congratulations to our joint winners Zoe and Bianca on 40 points... Until next time! Jeez."