Thanks to terracannon876 for helping me with this story and giving me great ideas. Wow this story is almost a year old. Read and enjoy.

I watch as you take out her Pokeball.

I do not know what is going to happen.

"Sorry," you say as you toss the Pokeball high in the air. If you are sorry, then why do it? It makes no sense to me. I was the one who lost to the water Pokémon -- but I was your first, you wouldn't get rid of me. I am but a Charmeleon, and yet you choose to keep me. I am your strongest, but it shouldn't matter.

Why me?

Why keep me now?

Why pick me then?

I still do not understand why. You could have had a Bulbasaur or a Squirtle. I now know that they would have been better on your journey then me. Better types to face the first few gym leaders, either one would have helped give you an advantage. They also would have had better stats. I am weak, I know it, you know it, I may be the most experienced, but I am weak. I can be fast, yes, but that is all, and not by very much. Bad defense, worse endurance. Overall weak, pathetic for a Charmeleon of my level.

I beat the rock types, who I should be weak against, though. I saw hope in your eyes after that. Then after the first badge had been pressed into your hand, after the first time you battled, really battled, I evolved. You were so worried; you rushed to my side, what was happening? Was I sick? Dying? But I was the same, just stronger and bigger than before, with a new title, so we kept going.


You loved me then, after I changed, so don't you love her too? You love Butterfree; you love Pikachu, Rattata and the new one Kakuna. Don't you love Mankey too?

You picked me, named me and we left that small town. We went into the fields and forests that surrounded Pallet. A Pokémon appeared, you were so happy, and so shocked! Like I was the only Pokémon there was. You had me battle, and it fell. You were sad, you wanted to see more. You liked to see them fall, and to see me obey you. I did not have to, but I did, for I wanted you to be happy. You were everything to me then, and you still are.

Master why do you do this?

We battled more, and I got stronger, you were even more pleased at this. I learned how to breathe fire, and slash with metal claws. We battled trainers, people with other Pokémon of their own. This was much more fun than battling wild Pokémon, and harder too. The nights we spent out in the open stars. I had been hurt and poisoned, not badly, but you wanted to heal me and did not know how. So we walked to the nearest town. You talked to people and they told you how I could get healed and where the heal-place was. I got better.

She could get better too...

People told you that you can have more than one Pokémon. This you knew, for trainers had sometimes more than one Pokémon, but you didn't know how to catch them. You knew nothing about Pokémon, did you? But you were a good trainer; I could tell I was getting stronger. You went to a building and you got some red and white Pokeballs like the one I sometimes went in after battle. Sometimes I would walk by your side, but not the others; they never walked beside you. They stayed inside the spheres you kept clipped to your belt.

Why do you let me walk next to you master, while they stay inside?

We slept in town that night. We went outside again, but this time you caught the Rattata I battled. I knew that once it was knocked unconscious it would awaken and quickly scamper off. All the wild Pokémon I had battled had done this. This time, before it fainted, you threw a Poke ball at it. The Rattata became a beam of red light and disappeared inside. He didn't come out until you told him to. You liked it, trained it, but he does not have a nickname, I have always wondered why I am the only one. Then came Mankey, she was fierce, but weak, because she was at a very low level.

Is that why? But Kakuna is even less experienced than her...

Then we went into a large, confusing forest. You got a Caterpie, you battled with her once and you put her out of your mind. Then Kakuna came, the only reason you caught him was because I was hurt, and you didn't want me to faint. Lose to a cocoon! Ha! He just sits there and watches, never battling, just watching. And Pikachu, when you first saw her, your eyes! They lit up in recognition, and in the promise of excellent abilities and great power. She was young, but you had to have her. You were so careful as to catch her, and now she is very strong, third only to me and Butterfree. We went about and you saw you could have no more Pokémon with you. You cursed yourself for not waiting to get better Pokémon. We made it to the city where I battled the rock lord, and won. Me, a fire type...

If a fire type can beat the Pokémon that belonged to the rock lord then doesn't she have a chance?

Afterwards, I evolved. You were so worried about me, but I was fine, so we kept going. One day a trainer approached you, he was from somewhere far away, some placecalled Hoenn. He had come to get Kanto Pokemon and badges. He challenged you to a battle, one with two Pokemon at a time. We had neither seen this nor heard of it before, and for the first time I saw you hesitate. But only for a moment, beforeyou nodded as he finished explaining the rules. Everyone knew you would use me, your strongest, against any new opponent. But now that you had many Pokemon, you had to choose between them. After thinking about it you picked Mankey as your second, perhaps because she had never battled before.

You expected so much of her...

The trainer sent out a Zigzagoon, a striped Pokemon with pointy fur, and a Poliwag. The trainer ordered the Poilwag to shoot a water gun at me and the Zigzagoon to headbutt Mankey. I dodged the water gun attack, but Mankey got hit hard by the Zigzagoon and was slammed into a tree. I spun around when I heard the crash and was attacked with another water gun, this one striking me in the face. It was now one against two, but I was mad. The rage built up inside me until I couldn't take it, and I had to act. My trainer noticed this, though the other didn't, still gloating over his half-victory. I could see, but I didn't take note of what I saw. It was as if something else was controlling me, not against my will, but in a way I would never act otherwise. I do not know what I did to attack them. I can't remember anything, just tons of fire consuming my vision and terrible cries filled with pain. My claws were stained with blood afterward.

How badly, Master, did I hurt them?

You tell me that I passed out after using Rage in such an extreme way. The next thing I remember is waking up in the heal-place. The Chansey was adjusting the IV next to me, so I asked her what happened. Instead of answering me, she got Nurse Joy, who told me not to use Rage again, ever. After checking me over and taking off the ace bandage around my swollen head, she said I was free to go and that you were waiting for me in the main room. When I got there you were talking to a man in a white lab coat. I felt awful, for you had to come all the way here with only the others for protection. The man glanced at me, shook his head, and proclaimed that there was nothing that could be done.

I still do not know what he meant.

Once outside, I spoke with Mankey. She said she had failed you, me, and our dream of being the best. I tried to comfort her, telling her that she would get better with practice, and pointing out that it was only her first battle. Then you came over to us, your hands in your pockets, your face betraying nothing. You said that you expected more of her, that loosing was unacceptable. She looked at her feet as you continued that if she got three strikes she'd be out. She had only two left. Tears filled her bright eyes, but you turned away, uncaring. I said nothing, but on the inside I squirmed, she already felt so down, did you have to rub it in?

Did you have to?

You passed up numerous Pokémon, battled many trainers, and we walked from dawn till dusk for days before coming to a cave. We got healed at a heal-place, and then went into the cave. We battled a lot, both trainers and wild Pokémon. Mankey had fainted in a battle with a Geodude, and the others were all exhausted. Even I could not take it, for I was wounded from the many battles, and so we began to flee from the wild Pokémon, avoiding the trainers, desperate to leave the cave. You got tired of running. You went into a fit of rage and fear at the sight of the little Zubat when he attacked us, and so, to make things faster, you captured him. You were very surprised when he disappeared. Was he dead? You asked us, but we could not tell. This had never happened before. We thought you could only have six Pokémon. We went on. You did not care if he was dead, or what he had become, he was simply only a pest to you... and maybe a waste of a perfectly good Pokeball.

You did not care for the Zubat; but you care about us, right?

We got out of the cave. The sun, the fresh air! Never in my life had I wanted such simple things! You raced into the city and healed us; we spent the night at the heal-place and then went on. We battled more trainers on a bridge. The first time you sent Mankey out to battle a Caterpie. She was knocked out almost immediately, and you sent her back into her pokeball without a word. Then your Caterpie, you sent her out by mistake. You had used her in the caves, but she wasn't ready for this. So I took her place. Then she evolved. You were not scared for her, like you were with me. I like to think it is because I had evolved before, so you knew what to expect.

But I knew you wouldn't have cared about her.

You did not like her as a Metapod; you did not want her to be like Kakuna, never to fight. So you trained her harder than you trained me and she evolved again, this time into Butterfree. I think this may be why you started to try and train Kakuna, only to fail miserably. I think you wanted him to be like Butterfree. The others don't think so. They think you were content with him as he was, and just wanted him to get stronger. But you looked at Butterfree, and looked at him with such longing, and I knew... You were pleased with Butterfree, so we went on to challenge the water goddess.

It was a mistake to face the water goddess before battling all the other trainers, a very bad idea.

We lost, badly. It was the first time you had lost, ever. You were very shocked and you claimed you would never lose again. So you went to the store where you bought potions for us during battle. We did not lose so badly this time, because I beat her first Pokémon before I fainted.

I'm sorry, Master, I have failed.


When I woke up the next time you brought me out here, beside the forest, clutching Mankey's Pokeball and hissing under your breath.

"We have to train you more Blase." You spoke so softly, so gently, it made me feel worse about losing.

"You are the most experienced; and we have to use raw power to beat Misty." Power -- something I don't have... Is that what we need from me?

"We can't wait for Pikachu to learn better electrical attacks, it would take her to long." Your eyes are big and sincere, and I can't help but to nod back.

You turn around. Something is wrong. I can feel it.

"Sorry," you say, as you toss the Pokeball high in the air.

"I suppose this is goodbye."

I think I love cliff hangers too much... Anyway this story is actually from the Pov of my first Pokémon, Blase. I know the name is cliché, but I was only eight when I got my first Pokémon game and I'm not going to change it after so long. This is about a release I deeply regret, but I knew zip then about Pokémon or the game. All of it is true, besides the double battle, and if you overlook the fact I had to write it from a different Pov than my own. I will write more stories about these characters and will get into more detail about them.

When I was writing the first copy of this story, the song Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson came on. It freaked me out how much it fit the story, and I thought someone might want to listen to it and see what I mean.