I pick up the razor. Cutting 5 deep, uneven, vertical lines into my wrist.

Death. Thats all i can think about. When will god get off his ass and take me off the face of this planet and tell me im a worthless piece of shit?

lets hope its soon.

My parents are alcholics, much like the Mccormicks. They treat me like shit, and wate on Ruby, like shes the Queen of America. Yeah, a Queen i'd assasinate any day.

I hate my friends aswell. Tweek is one fucked up peice of work, twitching and 'Gaa!'ing like a retard. Token is the biggest homophobe in South Park. Clyde tried doing me. Stan and Kyle are doing each. Cartman is shagging Butters. Butters is in love with Pip, who is in love with Damien, who loves nothing better then to tourture souls and torment the weak.

But..

If i die, it means i'll be leaving Kenny, the love of my life. Buts thats alright, our love is based on lies anyways. Well, i love him more then anything in the world, But i have this feeling he doesnt feel the same way. He says he loves me. He kisses me all the time. But then i start to think:
'What if he's just using me?'
'How could he ever love me?'

I just don't understand. I get depressed over the littlist things. When he says:
"Craig, your beautiful."
How can he look me in the eyes and say that.
Even when i hurts him he says:
"Please don't do that, bub."
I feel like crying. He doesnt yell, doesnt get angry. So why must i be such a fucking pussy?

'All this time is wasted pretending that we're in love'
My ring tone goes off. Caller ID... 'Kenny xx'
"Hello?"
"Hey bub. What are you up to?"
I look up at the razor in my hand and the blood on my wrist.
"Just playing the Xbox." I lie.
"Alright then. I was hoping i could hang out wit-"
Why does he have to lie to me? Why can't he tell me the truth? The truth being:
'Hey Craig, just wanted to know if i can come over, screw your brains out, then get up and leave when i'm done.'
"-aig? -re you still there?"
"Huh? yeah, alright."
Then he hung up on me.
What did i agree to? its alright, i dont care anyway.

I cut 3 more deep vertical lines in my arm. I slam my face into my pillow, drousyness eventully took over and i closed my eyes.

I was woken up my someone shaking me and yelling.
"Craig! Craig, get up, now! OI!"
I opened my eyes and saw Kenny looking down on me. I push him back.
"What the heck is wrong with you?" Kenny yells in a panic.
"ME? you walk into my house and start yelling at me!"
"Yelling? Craig, i'm about to have a fit! what the hell did you do to your wrist!"
I look down to see mean slashes and a shit-load of blood. I look up.
"Craig, how can you do this?" He says with hurt in his voice.
I try looking for words to say. But the only words that come to mind are:
'How can he act like he cares?'
I frown.
"Don't act like you give a shit, Kenny!"
Kenny stares shocked at me.
"Act WHAT exaclly, Craig" Kenny says with tears in his eyes.
My heart drops. I've never seen him cry before. Never seen him with a hint of negative emotion.
I look down.
"Forget i said anything."
Kenny stomps out of my room, hoping he had left.

Moments later he came back with a first-aid kit.
"Give me your arm." He demanded, but still with a saddened voice.
I look down, ashamed. Holding out my arm, he yanks it. Poring some sort of liquid on it. Stinging the shit outa the fucker of a wound. I hold my breath trying not to scream in pain. Kenny's hand collides with my face.
"Don't hold your breath! That amount of blood you lost, you'll faint, Idiot!"
I don't understand, why is he so mad?
Is it the fact i can't do anything right?
Maybe the fact is, he thinks i'm the biggest screw up since midday TV?
What did i do wrong?
"It's alright, Kenny. God will come take me away soon. I only pray he does."
I smile a crazy sort of smile.
"Don't even joke about that!"
I smile and let my heavy cemented eyelids close.

Don't worry bout it Ken, you wont have to put up with this much longer.