This was sort of spawned due to a conversation on AO3, and it has become . . . . this thing you see before you.

Keith: Well, I'm going to enjoy this. I get to screw around with people more than often!
Liulfr: It's going to be weird. Sephiroth has gotten me addicted to energy drinks now, ironically the energy drink 'Mother'
Keith: And that means for me?
Liulfr: Some really messed up crack is going to happen.

I do not happen to own the rights to FFVII or any characters to recognize. Because if I did, Sephiroth would have never gone crazy because he would be too addicted to chocolate and energy drinks.

Where Universe Hopping Is A Thing, And No, You Cannot Have The Shiny Ring! (Installment 1)

Chapter 1: Someone Needs To Work On Their Timing

-o0o-

Today had been a normal day.

Coffee was being split, secretaries 'obviously' do their jobs, and Sephiroth was being stalked by a human chocobo.

. . . . .

Okay, we'll back that truck up a sec.

Let's spin the clock back, let's say, around two hours ago?

-o0o-

Sephiroth had woken up believing today would be normal, like any other.

Yesterday's meeting had gone surprisingly well, Keith had his usual mug of root beer, eyes flicking to the scientific papers Hojo and the janitor had spread across their laps. The other executives in the room were all too happy to leave the two masterminds of chaos and discord to their crazy mumbo jumbo, not wanting to incur Keith's wrath after the last prison escape.

No one wanted to know what Hollander planned to do with a Grand Horn.

Keith had been humming though, after the meeting. Not like an absent minded humming when one was bored, but one that indicated a happy mood due to expecting something good in the future.

Keith had brushed of his inquiry by saying that an old friend of his was dropping by soon, so he was happy to see them again.

Knowing Keith, the man wouldn't crack under any form of interrogation, so he left the matter at that.

But today, certainly wasn't a normal day.

Sephiroth knew Zack had an infatuation with a SOLDIER cadet, who had also won the affection of both Keith and Reno. He himself had seen the cadets records, the boy wasn't too shabby but was prone to bullying. However, Keith's gift of the fluff – ball had sorted that issue out for the Nibelhelm boy.

And like all other SOLDIER cadets, the boy probably had an infatuation with him, being the General of SOLDIER.

The few times he had met the blonde haired cadet, he had seen obvious hero worship in those large sky blue eyes (which were sometimes eerily similar to Keith's own), but right now, he was rather concerned to why the cadet in question was sitting in the SOLDER 1st Class longue and drinking a can of root beer.

Keith was the only other person in the Tower that actually drank the stuff, so the can had to have come from Keith's office.

"Good morning General."

Jolted out of his thoughts, Sephiroth eyed the cadet warily.

There was something . . . off about his behaviour.

"Good morning. I suppose you accessed the longue via the ventilation shafts?"

Sephiroth really needed to ask Keith if the Tower security was compromised in that regard, but his blonde friend merely dodged the question every single time it was brought up.

"Yep!" The cadet chirped, way too chipper for being awake at –

Checking the time on his PHS, it said it was 5:30 AM.

Something was seriously wrong with the cadet, Sephiroth wondered how irritated Zack would be if he called him up to collect the chocobo in human skin.

"See you around General!" The cadet seemed to solve that problem for him, waltzing out of the longue with a spring in his step, humming a tune that seemed oddly familiar.

But Sephiroth just couldn't put his finger on it.

Deciding that the matter was done and dealt with, Sephiroth proceeded to his office and prepared himself for the work day ahead of him.

-o0o-

Two hours later . . .

Sephiroth was at his wits end.

Every time he left his office, he somehow kept running into the blonde cadet, and getting very different reactions each time he saw the boy.

Sometimes the boy would be the usual shy cadet out doing paper runs for some overworked records staff, and other times he would be the hyped up energy ball with a mega – watt grin on his face.

Deciding that enough was enough, Sephiroth made his way down to Keith's office, hoping the man could somehow keep the blonde cadet with him for the rest of the day so that Sephiroth wouldn't go insane in the next few hours.

As he approached the Head Janitors office door, he paused as he heard three sets of voices inside, two sounding almost exactly the same and Keith's familiar exasperated tone.

"Are you trying to get us caught?" The cadet's voice, it was high pitched, tense and full of terror.

"But it's so much fun to wind him up! He doesn't suspect a thing! Plus the security is really lax, they should really work on that." The . . . cadets voice again, but there was a slightly crazed edge to his words that was peculiarly similar to Professor Hojo when he was on the verge of a huge scientific breakthrough.

"Howl, you know I love you, but you need to work on your timing. We still need to get rid of Hollander, otherwise we'll never be able to pull this off." Keith's voice, with the same sort of tone that he used when scolding the Junior Turks that stealth practice meant actually being stealthy.

"Well, it's a bit too late now. He's here." The crazed cadet's voice responded, there was a squeak of panic and Keith let out a foul curse.

Before Sephiroth could react, the door was flung open and a deceptively thin hand threw him inside the office with the force of a behemoth behind it. The air rushed from his lungs when his back hit the floor and a pair of knees slammed into his stomach, ice blue eyes with a tinge of gold and filled with pure insanity staring down at him, a bright grin and a demonic giggle accompanying the sight.

"Howl! Sephiroth isn't like Him!" Zack's cadet exclaimed, hovering on the corner of Sephiroth's eyesight, clearly in distress and panicking judging from how his fingers were spasming.

"But he could be." The cadet's clone sitting on top of him whined, the crushing grip on his wrists preventing him from even attempting to get up. He heard Keith sigh, and tilting his head back, he found the blonde janitor standing over him with a contemplative expression on his face.

"Keith, answers, please?" Sephiroth wheezed, he could feel the bruises already starting to form on his wrists.

Several minutes passed by, the clone made no move and Sephiroth was quietly gasping for air, since the clone wasn't letting up on the pressure on his torso.

"Howl, off."

The clone pouted, but clambered off Sephiroth before tucking himself against Keith's side, the taller man not at all bothered by his new leech that was grinning like a loon.

"Take a seat." Keith motioned to the couch, his tone indicating that Sephiroth had to obey otherwise he would get his ass kicked. Not wanting to test his luck, Sephiroth sat himself down while hoping the clone wouldn't attempt to gouge his spleen out with his bony knees again. The only reassurance he had was when the cadet sat next to him, giving him a shy smile that was oddly soothing considering the circumstances.

Keith had placed himself in his office chair, not once blinking as the clone hopped into his lap and hummed contently like a giant cat when the janitor patted his head. Cronkle did nothing, the purple lizard opening an eye before returning to sleep, not at all disturbed by the fact that there were two Cloud Strife's in the room.

"You're probably wondering what the hell is going on. It's not exactly easy to explain." Keith gave the clone a glare at this, but the clone merely giggled at the death stare aimed at his head. Sephiroth found himself lost, and gestured to the clone hoping that his 'friend?' (he wasn't practically sure if Keith was his friend right now) would explain that detail to him.

"Ah, well, this is my younger brother. Howl Strife."

. . . .

Complete and total mind blank.

"You're, you're serious?" Sephiroth found himself choking out after a few minutes of silence had passed and he still had no clue what he was hearing. Keith merely nodded in reply, letting Sephiroth drink in the fact that he actually had a younger brother who was basically a twin of Cloud Strife.

"My real name is Keith Salazar Strife. I was born in the year 39 BM. in Nibelhelm on a planet known as Callatrax, in District 11B of the Septuaginta star – system located in Sector 17 of the Conspectum galaxy."

Sephiroth was still trying to process the foreign words when Howl decided to pitch in.

"I'm Howl Godric Strife, formerly known as Cloud Rowen Strife born in the year 29 BM. in Nibelhelm on planet Callatrax, District 11B of the Septuaginta system, Sector 17 of the Conspectum galaxy. Hi Sephiroth."

Howl certainly wasn't sane, and judging from how exasperated Keith looked, this was normal behaviour for the rather spazzy male.

"They're both from an alternate galaxy. From what they've told me it's an identical twin of ours but with some differences. Keith and Howl both applied for SOLDIER." Cloud seemed to have been in the know for a while considering how calm the cadet was, but Sephiroth was stuck on the fact that Keith had applied for SOLDIER.

Why hadn't he done the same here?

"I made it into SOLDIER, advanced to 2nd Class. When Howl applied, he failed and joined the infantry. There was an incident that sparked the downfall of Shinra. Howl was unfortunately experimented on and now his body is forever stuck in the same form as his 16 year old self. He can't put on muscle, won't get older and certainly won't get taller. I stopped aging around 35, but that doesn't mean we can't get stronger. Many years passed since SHINRA's downfall in the year 1 AM. Technology advanced and the world moved on, but we stayed the same. People started to notice, so we began to explore our universe."

Keith had a wistful look in his eyes, and Howl seemed to be reminiscing as well, but the insane glint was still clearly visible in his eyes.

"Apparently after some time, the Goddess Minerva took notice of them and asked if they could help prevent the same thing from happening in our universe. I wouldn't have known about this either, but I found Howl sitting in Keith's office a couple of months ago and he told me everything." Cloud murmured, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt while Mini Cloud rolled around on the couch.

"Big brother has really done a lot already. But he doesn't let me visit much." Howl pouted, resting his head on Keith's shoulder while he pulled a pen apart ignoring the fact he was getting ink all over his fingers.

"Because it's hard to keep you entertained while I'm snooping around. You're a restless little imp that cannot go unsupervised. I truly pity those Slytherin's that have you for a roommate." Keith plucked the pen pieces out of Cloud's hands and flicked his fingers.

A can of root beer came floating out of nowhere and Howl snatched it out of the air, clutching it like it was a piece of gold.

"Your snakes are fun to room with. They know how to be subtle. My lions aren't so much, they're too brazen." Howl muttered after taking a sip of the drink, causing Keith to sigh and run a hand through his hair. "They take after you, too headstrong and running into things without thinking about it." Howl scowled at this, but took another sip of the root beer.

"That's why you're here, you're the thinker, and I'm the brawler."

This argument seemed to be an ongoing battle, as Keith said nothing but turned his attention back onto Sephiroth.

"While I'm here, I had to leave Howl on planet Mawgester in District 2A of the Mortis Fabulae star – system in Sector 4. It was just starting out as a world when we arrived, but basically it turned into a world were magic was only known to a select people with the gift. We both sort of helped teach the first few generations. They're currently on a brink of a war, and Howl's just there to keep the kids safe."

That was a whole mess that Sephiroth wasn't going to even try touch with a ten foot long pole.

"So, now that you're in the know . . ."

The growing demonic smirk on Keith's face set off every alarm bell in Sephiroth's mind, and he was truly fearing what his 'friend?' was about to say.

"Want to help bring about the downfall of SHINRA?"

Yep, he was screwed.

-o0o-

A/N: This is installment number 1, as this will be it's own story arc, but I will be posting one - shots in - between when they decide to throw themselves into the limelight.

Next Chapter: Chapter 2: I Can't Believe No One Noticed

The version where Keith is actually a woman. And no one seemed to realise that fact.

LiulfrLokison out! :3