A/N: Still some more crossposting from AO3. Chronologically the first request I have done for /utg/, hence the length. Previously, I have not written anything for almost 4 years, so it took some time getting back to the saddle. The prompt was "Sans cheats at vidya", and the original Writebin title (BLESSED BE THE BIN-ANON) was "The Quotation Marks Were Sad, but They're Feeling Better Now", due to the fact that my word processor handled them less than perfectly. Might revisit this idea later on again.

Remember, eating chocolate increases gaming skills exponentially!

"welp, looks like that's a 7-0, or was it 8? kinda stopped counting."

Frisk slammed the controller into the couch fold and slumped back with an audible grumble. Sans' winning-finger hovered over the button as the large REPLAY sign filled the screen. Every single match played out the same way: the skeleton overwhelmed them with a flurry of attacks and by the time they had even a sliver of a chance to retaliate, he would just dance out of the way like the most infuriating little butterfly.

"don't feel bad, kiddo. papyrus and i play this game all the time." Sans flashed that usual grin, albeit with trace elements of smug in it this time around.

Frisk lurched forward and grabbed the controller again. They glared at Sans, so much so that he could almost make out their tiny little eyes, burning with bone-melting fury. More amusing was the accusatory finger pointing at him.

"Cheater." Frisk said, their voice like the softest chime.

"me? cheat?" Sans faked a gasp. "nah, i'm just that good. maybe you just need more practice?"

The kid shook their head vigorously. They were absolutely sure there was a swindle in place and a rematch would uncover his dastardly deceit, but what they really needed, was some added surveillance.

"watcha up to?" he asked, tilting his head.

Frisk scooted over and hopped in Sans' lap before the other could react and held out the controller again, ready for the fated rematch. This way, they could keep an eye on him while playing, with the added bonus of Sans' coat further heating up their fighting spirit.

"oh, so that's the plan, huh?" Sans chuckled. "it won't do you any good though."

Frisk thought otherwise and pressed the button for a rematch, confident of victory this time around. The result was quickly shaping up to be the same though, adding to their frustration.

"lemme make this easier for you. you know, since you wanna SQUARE off so badly."

The skeleton tilted the controller ever so slightly, just so Frisk could see pretty much ever single individual button press, starting with the one he just declared.

"so what happens is, i TRIANGULATE your position."

He pressed the corresponding button and almost immediately, Frisk's determination took a huge hit. A blow here, a kick there, half of their health gone already.

"-CIRCLE around a bit-"

A masterful dodge and another left Frisk wide open to a series of devastating strikes.

"-and just for kicks." He pulled the controller right up to Frisk's face this time to really drive it home. "here's the part where i DOUBLE CROSS you."

And with that, it was all over.

Never before did the YOU LOSE sign burn so brightly and achingly to Frisk's eyes. They huffed, puffed and sank back into Sans' chest, grumbling little children cusses.

"don't be so cross, kiddo." Sans ruffled their hair a bit, the pun stinging with the bitter taste of loss. "here, lemme show you a couple moves."

Scrolling through the menus quickly revealed a practice mode. By the looks of it, the brothers had already tried and unlocked everything within the game. He handed the controller over and Frisk dove straight into practicing, and with Sans' pointers, they quickly got the hang of it. Of course, this being Sans, his attention soon turned towards dreamland and before long Frisk was playing with the added difficulty of a skeletal chest heaving behind them.

One thing continued to bother them though. It almost seemed like Sans' controller was just a tad bit more responsive. Always on point, always doing exactly what they pressed, never a miscommunication. Frisk would have normally shrugged it off, but now that the seeds of suspicion were planted, they had to find out.

The child crawled out of the embrace and hopped on the floor with a low thud. They approached the console and although the initial peek didn't reveal anything, they pressed on. Frisk pulled out the controller they had previously used, and tilted the console. A quick shake confirmed their suspicion, as a couple of tiny objects fell out, all of which were clogging the port until now.

The sweet embrace of fury was delightful, and so was the revelation of a menu option Sans had previously been very careful to scroll over.

RESET SAVE FILE?

"i wouldn't do that, if i were you..."

Frisk turned around to see Sans wide awake, skeletal gaze fixed on them. The kid grinned and slowly nodded, both of which brought cold sweat down Sans' forehead. All those hours, all those sleepless nights playing, all of that hanging on such a tiny little thread now.

YES/NO

Frisk's finger swung over the button like a pendulum made of nothing, but pure malice.

"look, kid, you don't have to do that. put that down and let's get some dinner instead." He tried to save face, but his distress was all too obvious. "burgers at Grillby's? come on..."

Frisk took a quick peek at the door and all surrounding windows, an ACT that did not go unnoticed by Sans. The tension was palpable now and while barely visible, that blue glow of power was slowly beginning to appear in his eye as well. The kid slowly shook their head and lowered their death-bringing hand, bringing it only up to the level of where their SOUL would appear during a tense battle. Sans very slowly exhaled, the first bitter taste of the horrible illusion of relief washing over him.

That was before they spoke though.

"CROSS my heart and hope to—"

It's funny how a single press of a button could level half a town.