2am, Kanda's room, Allen's POV
"Yawn…." Wait, why is it so dark? Ok, now don't panic, my eye isn't going crazy and I'm not hurt…. Oh. I fell asleep in the cafeteria. So I'm probably still in the Black Order. Ok, somebody else is in here, I can hear rustling. I must be in somebody's room. Oh, I hope I haven't inconvenienced anybody… "Lavi?" Why is Lavi here? "Umm, am I in your room or something?"
"Mrrph, ooh!" Lavi seems mostly asleep and kinda shocked; at least that's what I think from the passionate (?) moan he just emitted.
"Umm, Lavi? LAVI!" I first whispered, then shouted when he didn't stir.
"Neh, what Yu-Allen? What are you doing here?" He seems really shocked by me being here. I wonder why, this is his room, isn't it?
"Hey Lavi, what am I doing in your room at… uh, what time is it?" My first question was overridden by my second, and suddenly more pressing question.
"Well, Allen-chan, it's about 2 am, and more importantly-" Lavi was cut off by a second voice, suddenly rising from the previously silent darkness.
"Oi, baka usagi, why are you awake, and why the hell is there a moyashi in my room?"
"And, yeah," Lavi continued, seemingly ignorant as to my sudden paling. "This is Yuu's room. Not mine. And I also have to repeat Yuu's question, how the hell did you get into a locked room at 2 am?"
"More importantly, why?" Kanda finished Lavi's questioning with a menacing growl.
"I-I well I-I, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Because I'll have you know, I had Cross Marian as a master, so I know, w-wait…. both of you are guys…" I trailed off, thoroughly scared. If they, oh god, I don't even want to think about it. Just… No.
Lavi sat up. And when he sat up, I realized something very, very bad. Lavi isn't wearing a shirt. And when Lavi sat up, he pulled back the cover… yes, Kanda is shirtless too. Thank god the blanket still covers their waists. Kanda looks irritable at the fact that Lavi has gotten up and pulls him back down to the bed, mumbling as he does so, "Usagi, let's not be explicit, shall we."
Lavi mumbles something obscure in return, all I hear is, "… but he needs to leave and I'm sure as hell not getting up and giving it to him."
Thinking fast I butt in with, "Hey, I can get the key myself and go, then give you guys back the key. Or, if it's unlocked, I can just go." I fumble for the door handle, but miss. Can somebody please remind me how I got into this? Suddenly I realize that Kanda and Lavi are paying almost no attention to me, or what I just said. They're conferring with each other and, perhaps, if my vision isn't faulty, rubbing noses. Suddenly and, quite unnervingly, Kanda smirks victoriously.
"Say," Lavi says, and is it just the light, or is he smirking too? "You don't have to leave, we could pull a three-some, couldn't we, Yuu?"
"Of course, even if the Moyashi isn't willing. We could change his mind, right Allen?" Ok, now either Kanda is freaking serious, or just high. And, knowing Kanda, the chances of him being high are, like, less than -1. And, because he isn't possibly high, I need to get the fuck out of here, excuse both the unintentional pun and my French. So why can't I find the doorknob on this god-forsaken door? Finally, metal, not wood under my poor human hand. I turn it, expecting it to be locked, but to my astonishment, it is not.
Practically falling out into the hall with a gasp was not my intent, but at least I'm out of that room. Now that the light of the hall illuminates the bed, I can see one of Lavi's shirts, and what looks to be a pair of Kanda's black slacks. Oh, god. I did not need to see that.
As I'm closing the door, I can see Lavi snuggling in the once-stoic bastard that is Kanda Yuu. And then Lavi does the one thing that seals my mental scarring. He releases a groan that clearly seems to say, ** Just as the door closes with a click that tells me that it's locked, I get the fleeting impression that Kanda is staring right at me, and he looks, or looked, like he knew something I didn't. But right now I really want to get as far away from Kanda's room as I can. As I unashamedly run like hell, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that 1. They are either gay, or high. 2. If they are gay they like each other. 3. WHY WAS I EXPOSED TO THIS? Well, number three isn't really a fact, more of something I'm trying to figure out. Why would they want me to see? And even if they didn't, why was I in Kanda's room? And how did I even get there?
The next morning, regular POV
Allen was waiting outside Kanda's door at 5:50 am. Why was he awake at 5:50? Because he had been unable to sleep for the past 4 hours and 50 minutes. Lost in some sort of depressed and fearful reverie, Allen failed to notice that Leenalee and Lavi were approaching the self-same door Allen was waiting at. In fact, it was only Leenalee calling out a cheerful, "Ohayo, Allen-kun!" that snapped him out of his reverie.
"Ah, good morning to you to Leenalee, and LAVI? I was um, waiting for you and um, him." Allen made a careful gesture toward Kanda's infamous door. The Bookman's apprentice did not miss this.
"OH, Al-chan! Why, oh, why would I be in his room at night? Dear Leenalee's room I wouldn't pass up, but Yuu's, no way." Lavi seemed not to care that the comment he had just made had endangered his very life.
"Lavi-kun, you had better be glad brother didn't hear that." Leenalee, blushing, made Lavi aware of how close he had just come to death by robot. Very suddenly, and with the deadly silence custom to this part of the hall, Kanda's door opened.
"Why is there a convention outside my door?" Kanda didn't look happy to see his two least favorite males standing outside his door at 6 am. But Allen suddenly noticed that Kanda's bed was neatly made, and all clothes, both his and the, ahem, extras Allen had seen earlier that morning were missing. In fact, none of that morning's suggestive mess was anywhere to be found. Surprised by this realization Allen lost track of the conversation.
"And did it work?" the obvious excitement in Leenalee's voice pulled Allen out of his shock.
"Oh, yeah, it worked like a charm! You really had to'ave seen his face!" Lavi was excited, relating to Leenalee with wild gestures, in typical Lavi fashion. "And you wouldn't believe what a good actor Yuu is!" Only one word of this really got through to Allen's brain 'Actor?'
"Wait, what?" Allen was now thoroughly confused by this conversation. What was going on?
"Oh, I saw it all. And yes, Kanda-kun is a great actor! The cameras worked perfectly. Not a single blip or blur. Just as promised by Reever." Leenalee sounded satisfied.
In poor Allen's mind a horrible and humiliating picture was being painted. With the deadly keywords being, 'actor', 'camera' and the simple fact that Leenalee said she had seen it all. Now even Kanda's smirk made sense.
"Oi, moyashi, did it work?" Kanda's demanding question butted into Allen's mental breakdown, effectively stopping it.
"Did what work?" Allen could see a picture forming, but he still didn't get it.
"Our prank!" Leenalee and Lavi burst out, tired of Allen beating around the bush.
"PRANK!" Only now did it hit Allen what had truly happened very early that morning.
"Oh, yes, " Leenalee was displaying a previously unknown statistic streak. "I had this great plan! I wrote the script, and then showed it to Lavi and Kanda. They were all for it."
"Yeah, why would we pass up a chance to prank somebody?"
"Or get revenge for them being such an idiot?"
"So they were all for the plan I made. I told Reever I wanted to borrow some really good cameras with night vision because I thought somebody was coming into my room at night. He knew I wouldn't want to upset Komui, so he gave them to me." Leenalee shrugged nonchalantly, then continued. "Kanda offered his room, because-"
"It was even more insane than what they had already planned." Kanda deadpanned his reason.
"So, it was perfect! I rigged the cameras and then Lavi came up with the idea of putting their extra clothes around the room. Kanda drugged your drink at dinner then dragged you to his room! And, of course, they both had pants on, but we figured if they were careful, the blanket could cover even that." Leenalee finished the unveiling of the 'Great Prank' with a smile.
"S-so it was faked and planned?" Allen had been struggling madly to keep up with this new development. And he had done a pretty good job, considering what the prank consisted of.
"Yup." All three devious pranksters affirmed, to Allen's great horror. "Leenalee, is the final video cut done?" Kanda inquired.
"Yes, it's absolutely perfect! All I need to do is add the last bit! It has the setup bit, so people know how it was done. Then it has the actual prank in action, and that is really the best part, it really shows how well it worked! Then of course, the last part, witch I need to add, will be the beginning of this very conversation."
"Wait, why are you making a video?" Allen was now worrying. If Leenalee, or, perish the thought, Lavi, showed somebody that video, he'd never be able to wander the Order again.
"Oh, don't worry moyashi. Leenalee is going to get this broadcast to every golem and communication device in Headquarters. Even the science department and finders." It was, apparently, Kanda's turn to pile on another dose of bad news.
"So," Leenalee butted in, "I need to go. The show must go on! Or, in this case, the video must be broadcast!" And with that Leenalee departed.
"Ahh, I really need to go see Komui about umm, well, uh, technical stuff." Allen rapidly departed, hot on Leenalee's heels.
With that, Lavi turned to Kanda, who was watching Allen's retreating back with amusement, "He's going the wrong way."
"I know, and what's the betting Leenalee broadcasts before Allen get's ta Komui's office"
"Che, about 50 cents. Leenalee is better with those computers then most of the Science Department."
6:35 am, Komui's office, regular POV
"Komui, you gotta help me!" Allen Walker burst into Komui's office, out of breath and panicking. "How do you stop a mass broadcast of, say a video?" Allen was lucky enough to have entered when the normally napping Chief was awake, so his question was coherently processed.
"Well, it depends on the video. If it's a clip from a live battle, it has top priority, and is unstoppable-"
"Chief, that's not what he's talking about." Reever had entered, with more paperwork in hand.
"OH! That. Yes, Allen that sort of video can be overridden with the right password, but it's already been sent. Now there's no way to stop it." Allen quietly despaired, but the chief wasn't done yet. "It really was well made. And I have to thank Reever for giving my darling sister the cameras! I'm so glad he values her safety"
Later, Allen finally mustered enough courage to watch the video that, in his opinion, had sealed his fate. "… Thanks for watching, now please take the time to vote on you opinions! Was it good, bad, funny, or just horrible? Tell us!" Well, to his credit, at least he hadn't screamed like a girl.