Chew Me Up and Spit Me Out
Sometimes, the way she stared at him made his insides flip—and mind you, this was quite periodically. They had a few classes together, but as unfortunate as it was, he was only ever really "allowed" to speak to her in their improv class. Whether that was because he innately prevented himself from blabbering to her or because a part of him was still insanely scared of his girlfriend's wrath, he wasn't sure. Either way he was stopped by some sacred force, refusing to let him be happy; if only for five minutes.
It was unbelievably unfair and had him reduced to slamming his fists against his locker again, much like when he was a mere middle-scholar. Of course he stuck to performing this action during passing periods and times when his pretentious and Queen Bee girlfriend wasn't around. If she saw him doing such a thing, she'd probably threaten to corrupt his reputation just like she had every other little doormat around this damn pathetic excuse for a high school.
Not that he had much of a reputation himself. Everything he received, every look that was granted his way, was because of Jade. Jade held him in the palm of her hand, and if he were to ever leave her, he knew she wouldn't have to do much work in destroying him. He would just disappear without her by his side, into the waves of useless and unnoticed students like Robbie.
Did he want that? Hell no. He liked being Beck, he liked being "the" boy at school. It was an ego trip seeing three or four girls hanging around his locker before school, waiting to talk to him. They never told him they wanted to talk to him because they wished to gain access into Jade's small social clique; they didn't have to. He knew. But Beck had always been great at denying what was right in front of his face. It's how he got over Tori, after all.
At least, he was pretty sure he was over her. He was so used to Jade telling him what to feel, that feeling emotions himself was one of the most confusing things he'd had to endure. He wasn't sure if he was going left and supposed to be going right, or if he had reached a dead end. Whatever the case, nothing felt right, and he didn't have a clue that could help him figure out what to do.
This would explain why he worked on impulses, which would only further give reason to why he had all but quietly slammed Tori up against her locker and pressed his lips against hers in a furious passion.
She barely had time to respond against the fervor of his lips, her hands gripping his which rested on her hips, "Beck! W-what are you-?"
"Shh," He commanded, silencing her by attacking her neck with his lips. Luckily, the two were alone in the hallway. Tori had stayed after school for the school play's rehearsal, and Beck had, very unwillingly, stayed and waited for her to be done. Sometimes he just didn't have control over himself.
Tori let loose a feral groan, and Beck found himself loving the reaction of her neck craning upwards, giving him more access. Submission was something he craved in a woman, and Jade never wanted to let him take her. She'd never allowed him to ravish her body and kiss every single part of it like Tori was. His hands roamed up and down the curves of her sides, pausing to ghost over the small portion of exposed midriff. He exhaled, his body shivering from the rushes of adrenaline flowing through his veins, and tried to get a hold of himself before he exploded; before she finally caused him to burst.
"I'm sorry," He began, but this time it was he who was silenced as Tori grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to her, her mouth covering his.
His hands roamed through her hair, down her chiseled jaw line and back to the perfect curves of her hips. The tight shirt she was wearing accentuated her perky breasts and God did Beck just want to rip the thin piece of material off and reveal what was hiding from him under there. But he had to maintain some sort of physical control and so he opted for gripping her hips and lifting her up, pressing her against the lockers. She responded by wrapping her legs around his waist, and he found he no longer had to hold her with his hands. His body pressed against hers and her legs wrapped around his were enough to maintain her position, and dear Lord did Beck enjoy it.
He could feel his arousal pressing through the core of her jeans, and moving subtly, he groaned as the two pieces of fabric rubbed against each other. It caused him mild pleasure, but anything at this point was mind blowing, considering he'd never been touched or touched anyone like this. Jade liked to keep their relationship a secret, at least physically, and was a stickler about PDA. The moments that Jade and Beck had gotten alone in their entire relationship could be counted on one hand.
They stayed like that for an amount of time that Beck lost track of. He was so used to checking his watch every minute or so when he was with Jade, the idea that he had no idea what time it happened to be was completely lost upon him. In fact, a lot was completely lost upon him as of this moment…whatever this moment was.
"Beck," Tori pushed sometime later, a later when they were lying on the cool, hard tile, tangled in each other's arms. Sweat lingered on their skin and heavy breaths were second nature now.
Beck ran his fingers through the curls he'd come to love, his eyes lingering on the water stains of the school's ceiling, "Hm?"
She was quiet for a few seconds longer, probably contemplating what she wanted to say. Beck was patient. He was always going to be patient, for her.
"I don't know," She finally admitted in a whisper, and Beck began to notice the clouds in her eyes, trying to mask the fear threatening to boil over.
"I don't, either," He answered impulsively, figuring some seconds later that it probably wasn't the best idea he'd ever had, "I mean…We don't have to know, right? As long as it feels good."
He felt Tori shake her head.
"What?" He questioned, using the strength in his abdomen to pull himself up and look down at her for a better view, "Why are you shaking your head?"
Tori swallowed, and looking embarrassed, spoke in an almost inaudible tone, "It didn't feel good."
Beck felt his heart begin to pump faster and those stale sweat beads suddenly on the move again, "A-are you saying this was…a mistake?" The words were foreign. Mistakes were something that Beck never made, to make one now would tarnish a self-induced reputation.
A pregnant pause later, Tori shook her head again, slowly.
"Then…what?" Beck tried, sitting up with his back against the lockers and pulling Tori up with him. Anxious, he grasped her shoulders in his strong hands and forced her to look at him in his eyes. He knew what he must look like; begging, pleading like that. He looked ridiculous; childish.
But Beck had to know.
Finally, Tori's mouth began to fall open, but it closed right afterward. Her eyes searched his, digging through the piles of trash Jade had left there in her wake; trying to find the real Beck. Open, close, open, close, open…
"It didn't feel good, it felt…right."
Beck's chest collapsed under the weight of relief, his back hitting the lockers and his hands releasing her shoulders. So she didn't think this was a mistake. This was possibly the best news he'd heard all week.
"What did it feel like to you?"
Beck froze again, hating the impending feeling of doom. One miracle was just too good to be true, wasn't it? There was no way he was going to be able to ask for a second one. Beck hated expressing his feelings, and perhaps it was a trait he'd picked up from Jade, but none the less, the exchange of words going on inside of him was something he preferred to keep as a personal discussion between him and his brain.
But maybe it was time to break that pattern. He'd already broken every other thing about himself, so why not that as well? Maybe it was the final thing he needed to devolution from Jade; at least the final thing other than a break-up call.
He was too quiet for far too long, however, and Tori was taking his silence the wrong way. Her eyebrows scrunched together in that adorably beautiful way, something that only happened right before she was about to explode. Beck began to raise his hands in defense, but knew that it was just as helpful now as it would've been against an atom bomb.
"You know, you're really sick," She started, instantly pulling herself from Beck and standing to dust off her new blouse she "borrowed" from Katrina, "You attack me like that then act as if it disgusted you? Was this some plan of Jade's to ruin my life even more? You really are her lapdog, aren't you?"
Beck was getting tired of her talking.
"I can't believe I fell for your pathetic excuse of a—"
So he quieted her the best way he knew how.
Beck enjoyed, albeit guiltily, the small growl that mewled through her throat. He pulled away and pressed his thumbs against her cheeks, his hands cupping her face as he stared down into those captivating eyes. Breathing heavily from their kissing, Tori didn't notice the feeling of tears making their way down her supple skin. Beck however, did notice, and it felt like he was being torn apart every time he counted a new one.
"I don't care about Jade," He suddenly began, desperate to get her to stop crying anyway he knew how, "I mean… I did, once upon a time. But I don't anymore. Not since I met you. Not since you opened my eyes…and not since she closed them."
"W-what?" Tori questioned in a way that Beck would have expected. She didn't understand him. This made her feel unbelievably stupid and immature, but that was what her feelings were towards Beck; immature and ignorant. At least, that's what she'd always told herself, so why was doubt arising in the empty cavity of her chest now?
Because she was trying to fill it up with something; trying to close up the God awful wound, and that 'something' she was trying to fill it up with was Beck.
"I'm not saying that I love you," Beck began, and albeit Tori could figure out the logic behind the statement, she still felt her heart plummet to her stomach. "But I am saying that I care for you…more than I probably should. More than Jade would like, that's for sure."
"I'm not exactly sure where you're going with this," Tori spoke in a quiet voice, casting her gaze downwards so she could focus on the ground. She didn't particularly care where she looked, as long as her eyes weren't on Beck's.
"I'm not either, but that's what I think is the great thing about this." Beck smiled at her, a smile that Tori only managed to catch because he had bent down so she could no longer avoid his gaze and beautiful face. "With Jade, everything was expected, even though there were never any expectations with us anyways. With you, I feel like we'd never know what we were doing. It'd be fresh and new and crazy and all together tempting. You're tempting, Tori."
Beck paused in his small speech to reach out his calloused yet perfectly masculine hands, cupping the supple chin of Tori's until she was forced to look him in the eyes. He was standing at his full height now, and Tori had the strong urge to hug him, to kiss him, to hold his hand—anything that would get them to close that minuscule little gap in between them. She prepared herself to step forward, but Beck moved before she had a chance too and suddenly, his lips were back on hers.
"I want you to be mine," He whispered against her cherry-red lips, slowly letting his head fall so they could rest their foreheads together. He took a deep breath and Tori found herself mimicking the action unconsciously. He released n airy laugh and Tori began lightly giggling as well. The whole situation seemed melodramatic and exaggerated, but it was what had happened and neither of them were going to change it. At least, if anything, Tori would have a fantastic story of unrequited love to tell her children later in life. Pros over cons, pros over cons, she chastised herself.
"But Jade—" Tori was speaking the name before she even thought. Beck had predicted it and silenced her with his thumb grazing the contours of her lips.
"Don't worry about her now," Beck growled, and Tori felt her loins twist all over again at how he could go from being romantic to dangerous in one quick second, "Worry about me. Worry about my hands as they graze your body; worry about my lips as they ghost over your neck…" His words rang true. Tori had a hard time focusing on his words other than identifying them with the actions he was currently performing. His tongue ran along the length of her neckline and over her collarbone, inducing a shiver to crawl its way up her spine and finish at the top of her head.
Tori had never been as high as she was with Beck.
Beck had never felt as important as he did with Tori.
"I need you," They said in chorus, eyes fluttering open to meet one another.
They smiled, too lost in each other to notice the pair of eyes scrutinizing the disgusting scene from the hallway.
I've been working on this for months now, finally finished it. Perhaps there will be a sequel. Review please.