Author's Note: This is my first Third Watch fic. I never wanted to write for this fandom before. I didn't want to tarnish a great thing, because Third Watch has got to be one of the best television series ever made. The muse, however, would not let me go. Hopefully this will be the first of many more. Reviews and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Let me know how I did.

Summary: One-shot. Bosco/Faith. A missing/post scene for the episode "Long Guns".

Title: Now What?

Bosco: "I don't want to forget about him, Faith! Don't you get it? I don't want to forget!"

"Are you alright? Are you alright?" She asks desperately, breathlessly.

He's just standing there, staring at the body on the roof. His eyes are unreadable, and he won't meet her gaze. He looks lost.

"I'm fine," he says tonelessly, as her voice shakes him out of his morbid reverie.

Her gaze travels to the motionless body as she holsters her weapon, then back to her uncharacteristically silent partner. She's confused, unsure how to deal with this situation, unsure how to deal with him.

She tries for normalcy.

"Why didn't you use your second gun?"

He won't look at her, just keeps staring.

"He wasn't gonna hurt me," he says, his voice quiet and incredulous.

"Check the gun; he dropped the clip," he gestures as an ESU officer kneels near the body to check for weapons.

"He wasn't gonna hurt me."

He takes a few steps back, and she can sense from his tone and body language that he's rattled.

He says it again, more forcefully, as if to convince her and the other officers now securing the area.

"He wasn't gonna hurt me!"

Her chest tightens a bit as she watches him fidget and pace restlessly, like he doesn't know what to do.

She can't understand why he is so upset. Sure, Bosco was hoping the older man could get him into ESU, and he obviously respected him – even considered him a friend. But Hobart had taken him hostage and nearly killed him. She certainly felt no sympathy for the man.

She doesn't know what state she expected to find her partner in when it was all over, but she didn't expect this. She can't read his emotions, and it kills her because she doesn't know how to help.

Officers are now swarming the roof, and she sees Doc walking toward them.

As Bosco turns away from her she realizes that he's desperately trying to regain some semblance of control. He's breaking, and doesn't want everyone to see him falling apart.

She wants to fix it, wants to help him. She tries to find words to say that will calm him.

"Hey, forget about him," she says as the paramedic tries to check Bosco for injuries.

Immediately she realizes her mistake, when she sees the look on his face. Doc moves on, realizing the blood on Bosco's face doesn't belong to him.

"I don't want to forget about him, Faith! Don't you get it? I don't want to forget!"

She sees it in his eyes then, the pain and confusion, and it hits her like a brick, just how much Hobart meant to him – just how badly this hurts him.

How could she have been so blind?

She watches as it all catches up to him, sees his eyes fill with tears as soon as Doc leans down to pronounce Hobart dead. He is devastated.

"It's done. Bosco, it's done," she tells him softly, trying to pull him from the grisly scene.

Her partner is distraught, crumbling before her eyes.

He's crying now, silent as his body trembles with grief.

"Now what?" His voice breaks as he mumbles through his tears, oblivious to the eyes of others on the roof. Many are staring, and a surge of protectiveness rushes through her.

"Come on." She tries to lead him away, but he is pushing against her hands.

"Now what?" He mumbles again, nearly incoherent.

"Come on, it's done…come on," she repeats, pushing him gently toward the stairs. He refuses to budge.

"Come on…it's done. It's done," she says again, as he tries to get past her.

He finally relents, and she places a hand on his back as he turns and walks toward the edge of the roof.

She notices some ESU officers gathered to her left, staring and whispering. She glares at them. They don't have a right to see this. They don't have a right to watch him break.

For a moment she fears he'll collapse, as he reaches out blindly for the roof's edge. She can hear his gasping sobs as he tries to calm himself down. She doesn't know what to do.

He bends at the waist, and she wonders if he will be sick.

She feels so helpless. She can't fix this.

Suddenly he's up again, walking back toward the body. She follows, but keeps her distance.

"Now what?" He asks brokenly.

"Now what Glen?" He yells at the body, arms outstretched, then turns away and throws up his hands.

He walks past her, and she watches from behind as he wipes furiously at his eyes, then puts his hands on his hips and leans his head back to stare at the sky.

She hangs back, giving him time to regain control, because she knows it's what he'd want.

She feels a hand on her arm, and she turns. It's Doc.

"Hey, I'm gonna need to get a look at him," he says quietly.

She nods, and the two of them walk over to her partner.

"Hey, Bosco…Doc needs to check you out, okay?" Her voice is gentle, like she is speaking to one of her children. Bosco either doesn't care or doesn't notice. He still won't make eye contact.

"He didn't hurt me," he says quietly, defensively.

"Sure, man. It's just procedure," Doc replies, keeping his tone light.

They get him to sit down and Doc examines him.

Faith notices Lieu walking toward them, and she meets him halfway.

"Hey, boss," she greets her superior.

"How is he?" He asks immediately.

"I don't think he's hurt, but he's pretty shook up," she answers.

"What the hell happened?"

"I don't know…Bosco wanted to come and talk to Hobart. I think he wanted to convince him to turn himself in. Somehow he got Bosco's gun and took him hostage. Boss…it looks like it was a suicide."

Lieu closes his eyes briefly. "Damn."

He glances over her shoulder at where Bosco is sitting, then looks at her. "You and Bosco can go home. It's going to take us awhile to clean up here. Come in first thing tomorrow to do the reports."

"Sure boss. Thanks."

She walks back over to her partner, and Doc rises, taking her aside.

"Is he okay?" She asks worriedly.

"From what I can tell, he's having an acute stress reaction. But that's pretty normal considering what he's been through."

"Acute…what?" Faith stammered, alarmed.

"It's just a technical term meaning he's experiencing distress because of what happened. Now I could take him to Mercy for observation, and they could give him some medication—"

"No, he won't do that," she interrupted.

"That's what I thought. Look – he really shouldn't be alone for the next 24 hours."

She nods. "I'll be with him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Thanks, Doc."

"No problem. You call me if you need anything."

She nods, walking over to her partner and sliding down to sit next to him.

He doesn't acknowledge her, and it does nothing to ease her growing concern.

"It's getting kind of cold up here," she comments.

No response.

"You ready to get out of here?" She asks him directly.

After a moment he nods, and she keeps a gentle hand on his arm as they rise to their feet.

He remains silent as they walk down the stairs and out the building, and stares resolutely out of the window of the RMP as she drives through the city.

"Where're we going?" He asks, noticing that they aren't going back to the precinct.

"I thought you might want to get cleaned up…that okay?"

He just nods, wordlessly.

She parks out in front of his apartment building, and as they walk up the steps he says, "You don't have to come up. I'm fine. Really."

She knows better, but doesn't say it.

"Oh, I was just hoping I could get a cup of coffee, you know. If you don't mind," she lies.

He knows better, but he's too numb to argue.

"Suit yourself."

They get inside the apartment and she immediately busies herself in the kitchen. "I'll just make us some coffee while you get cleaned up, alright?"

He doesn't answer, just heads immediately for the bathroom.

She hears the water start and thinks, 'Oh Bos, you can't just scrub it away.'

He takes a long time, but eventually walks out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, and heads for his bedroom. Moments later he emerges, dressed in jeans and a loose-fitting shirt.

He walks slowly into the living room, where she sits on the couch with a mug in her hand.

He stops, looks around aimlessly, and shoves his hands in his pockets.

"I made coffee," she greets him with a small smile.

"I'm sorry," he says.

She frowns, confused. "What?"

"Earlier. On the roof…I lost it. I didn't mean to do that."

She's not following. "Do what?"

"To make a scene like that…I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Bosco, you did not embarrass me," she says, almost laughing. But it isn't funny.

'God, is that what he thinks?'

"Well…I'm sure I could've handled it better," he says, still rooted to that spot in the room.

She frowns. "Bosco, you were held hostage, and you watched a man get shot right in front of you."

As if he needed reminding.

He shrugs, dismissive. "Whatever."

"No, not 'whatever'," she protests. "Talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about, Faith!" He insists, throwing his hands up. "Okay? He's dead!"

"Yeah, and he was your friend," she responds, gently.

He shakes his head and walks over to a window, looking out at nothing and everything.

"My friend…." he repeats, bitterly.

She waits, bracing herself. She knows it's coming. She knows he's slowly unraveling.

"I don't want to forget about him, Faith. I don't want to forget about today," he says.

She nods. "It's okay. You don't have to."

He continues, not hearing her. "H-He told me he was giving me a gift."

She looks down at her cup and bites her lip. 'Damn you, Hobart,' she thinks.

"Bosco, Hobart was sick. You can't really believe he meant anything he said to you."

"No. You're wrong Faith. You're wrong," he replies, turning from the window. She knows he's losing it again and wonders if he realizes it. His finger stabs the air viciously as he tries to explain it to her.

"He knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted it to go down that way. It's what he wanted, Faith. He wasn't insane. He knew what he was doing."

"Bos…."

"No! He saw it, see? He…he knew."

"What did he know?" She asks softly. It's so hard to get him to communicate when he's worked up like this, but she knows he needs to get it out.

"He told me…He said he ought to shoot me before I screw up the lives of everyone around me."

"Bosco, don't – " She stands abruptly, even as he cuts her off.

"Faith, don't you get it? I'm a screw-up!" He was yelling now. "With my mom, my brother, you, the job..."

His voice lowers toward the end of his rant, a little breathless. "See, I'm just like Hobart. And he knew. That's what he wanted me to see."

"Okay. Let me tell you something," Faith retorts sharply. "I'm your partner. Hobart didn't know you. I know you. And you are not a screw up."

"…Faith…" He shakes his head, about to turn away.

"Bos, listen to me," She demands, waiting to speak until she has his full attention.

"You are not like Hobart, alright? You wanted to be like him. There's a difference." She watches as his gaze drops to the floor, and she knows she's making sense to him.

"If anything, he wanted you to not end up like him. I mean, if anything, that was his gift to you."

Bosco swallows, running a trembling hand through his short hair. He nods, a silent concession.

"I don't know what I thought. I don't know what I wanted, but it wasn't just about ESU, you know?"

She nods. She is beginning to understand, and wonders why she hadn't seen it sooner. Bosco looked up to Hobart as a father-figure. That's what this is really about.

"I know," she says, voice filled with empathy.

"You know he gave me one of his guns? He just…gave it to me. I didn't know what to say."

Faith struggles to keep her emotions in check. She had no idea how close Bosco and Hobart really were, or how much time they'd spent together off duty.

"He wasn't a bad man, Faith," he says suddenly, and she realizes her opinion of Hobart is important to him.

"I know, Bos. I know." She steps toward him, and can't keep her own eyes from watering.

"I just…I just don't understand. You know? I don't understand why."

"Why, what?"

He pauses a long time before answering, eyes never leaving the floor. When he speaks it is so quiet, she barely hears him.

"It's just…it's like…every time I try to reach out – "

"Bos, don't." She can't bear to hear more.

"I thought he cared, you know? I thought he really cared. For the first time…you know?" His voice breaks, and she moves closer.

She knows. She's always been able to see through Bosco's façade.

'I care Bosco…I care,' She thinks. She does not say it. She doesn't want to patronize him.

She can see his jaw clenching, can see the tears already rolling down his cheeks. He can't fight it much longer.

"I mean…am I that bad?" He lets out a strangled laugh that ends in a sob.

"W-what am I supposed to do now, huh? I mean…what am I supposed to do?" He turns to her, his eyes desperate. "I don't…I don't know what to do, Faith…"

He finally breaks, sobbing quietly into his hands. She quickly puts her arms around him, surprised and a bit alarmed when his knees give out and he sinks to the floor.

"Shhh…shhh. It's okay. It's alright." She rocks him slightly. "You don't need to do anything, alright? I'm here."

She holds him until he comes back to his senses and pulls away. He dries his eyes on his sleeve and sniffs loudly.

"Oh, geez… Faith, I'm so sorry." He's mortified.

She searches for what to say – how to assure him that she isn't bothered by it. She's reminded of what he once said to her, words she's never forgotten:

'I'm your partner. I was there for you. I'll always be there for you.'

At the time she was surprised at how simple and genuine it was, coming from him. He always surprises her. She cannot fathom how deep his loyalty is, and sometimes it scares her.

She can only hope to be as loyal to him as he has always been to her.

"Don't be sorry, Bos. We're partners."

He nods, because for him, it's as uncomplicated as that.

She's still rubbing circles into his back. "You hungry or something?"

He looks around the room as if seeing it for the first time. "No…just tired." His voice is hoarse from crying.

She nods. He looks as if he barely has enough strength to get off the floor.

"Well, I'm gonna have to go check on Emily…you gonna be okay?"

He nods. "Yeah, I'm just gonna crash. Go."

"You sure? I'm coming back later tonight, you know."

"You don't have to do that; I'll just be sleeping. Really, Faith. I'm fine. Go take care of your family."

She pauses. "You are a part of my family, Bos. You know that right?"

His eyes mist over. "Thank you, Faith," he whispers. She gives him another quick hug, then stands.

He follows her to the door, dragging his feet. "I'm going to come back tonight," she says, determined.

"Faith, you don't have to do that."

"I want to."

He sighs, defeated. "I'll be here."

Hours later, she is knocking on Bosco's door. He doesn't answer, and she immediately grows alarmed. 'He said he'd be here.'

Instinctively her hand turns the doorknob, and she is shocked to find it unlocked. Fearing the worst, she steps inside…only to hear soft snoring from the couch.

There's a light left on in the living room, providing just enough soft glow that she can check him without waking him. He's on his back, head turned to the side, hands resting on his stomach. Absently, she notices three empty beer bottles underneath the coffee table.

Smiling at his soft snoring, she pulls the afghan down off of the back of the couch and drapes it over his still form.

"Ffaith?" She's startled by his sleepy voice.

"Yeah. It's me," she whispers. "I just wanted to check on you. I'm leaving now."

"'Kay. Lock the door?"

She smiles. He'd left it unlocked for her. Never mind how dangerous that was. She'd chide him about it later.

"I will. Goodnight, Bos."

"'night. Thankss." He doesn't open his eyes. She knows he's probably too exhausted.

With a final parting glance, she tiptoes out, being sure to lock the door behind her.

He's her partner. She took care of him. She'll always take care of him.

It's as uncomplicated as that.

A/N: Please let me know how I did – remember it is my first TW fic!