This is just a short story on how I would like the Ruth/Jay storyline to pan out. Unfortunately, I do not own the rights to Casualty or any of the characters so it is unlikely to happen but oh well.

It all started as normal, well normal for Holby ED. Dixie and Jeff had brought in a teenage girl complaining of abdominal pains at the start of their shift. At first, most of the staff had privately thought the girl was making it up as there were no tangible symptoms of anything wrong with her. That was, until she tried to run out of the ED, complaining that she wasn't being taken seriously and that she wanted to be transferred to St James'. She got as far as the main entrance of Holby before collapsing.

It became obvious very quickly that this was far from a made up illness to get attention. Jay was first on scene but froze, images flooding back of Ruth in the same situation a month prior. Fortunately, Adam was not too far behind so the pause became immaterial. The girl was rushed back into Recuss where Ruth, Charlie and the F2s were waiting. The girl was obviously in distress and Ruth tried to calm her down but her efforts were hampered by the arrival of Sarah Evans.

"She needs to be transferred up to gynaecology immediately, Dr Winters."

"She's not stable enough," Ruth replied.

"Her stats are good enough."

"I meant she is not psychologically well enough to go anywhere," Ruth responded as she handed over control to Adam and continued the conversation with Sarah outside the Recuss room

"This is not the time for sentimentality, Dr Winters."

"You're mistaken, Miss Evans, she needs someone to explain she's going to be okay so that she will consent to the treatment."

"Just because you feel some empathy with her condition does not mean you have to lose your drive. If you want to be a surgeon, you can not afford to lose your goal."

Something in that sentence made Ruth snap.

"With all due respect, Miss Evans, you can not expect me not to feel empathy towards patients every now and again. I am not a machine, I have feelings too, something you have seemed to have forgotten as you have ordered me to twist my personal life to become a better surgeon."

"You have no right…"

"I'm not finished. Jay was the first person to truly love me since I can remember and yet you made me give him up because he supposedly wasn't good enough. I've studied for 20 years to become a doctor. I never had a proper childhood nor rebelled as a teenager because of my goal to become a doctor so don't you dare lecture me on keeping true to my goal. All I wanted was a chance at happiness and you made me lose that. If that's what a surgeon takes, I don't want it. I chose my life."

Sarah walked away in disgust as Ruth realised what she'd said. Given how public the location of the conversation was, most of the ED staff had also overheard what Ruth had said. There was an uncomfortable silence as Ruth then ran out of the department before everyone started gossiping when she went out of earshot. Of course, Jay had overheard Ruth and ran after her.

"Is it true?" he said when he caught up with her outside the hospital doors.

"Is what true?" Ruth replied with tears streaming down her face.

"Come on Ruth, we both know what I'm talking about."

"Don't joke with me. I can't believe I've just thrown my career away over one moment of madness."

"I wasn't joking with you. I was concerned. I thought … I thought…"

"You thought what? That I'd try to kill myself again?"

"Ruth, what you said in there that was really brave. I'm really proud of you. But of course I'm worried. You've wanted to be a surgeon since you were what? Eight? Anyone would be upset if they'd thought they'd thrown that away."

"It's just I got so sick of her going on and on about having no distractions, no empathy with patients. I tried so hard to follow what she said but I can't do it anymore. I killed our child just cos I thought it would help me get up the career ladder. You must hate me."

"I'm not going to lie. I was so angry when you pushed me away but I love you so much more. Can't you understand that? I will always love you, no matter how many times you try to push me away."

"Thank you."

"Now, how about we take an early lunch break? We've got some catching up to do, after all." Ruth nodded in agreement.

************************************************************* 2 months later (New Year's Eve) **************************************************************

Ruth and Jay went as each others' dates to Adam and Jess' wedding. As the clock struck midnight, Ruth turned to Jay and whispered in his ear, "I'm pregnant". Jay beamed and kissed her just as the registrar pronounced Adam and Jess husband and wife.