Title: The Shoe fits, but...
Author: ermazing/polydeuces
Chapter: Prologue (of how many...?)
Rating: PG-13 (for themes, I suppose)
Fandom: Doctor Horrible/How I Met Your Mother
Disclaimer: I own neither Dr. Horrible nor HIMYM, which is good of course. I'd never be surprised if I did.
Summary: Billy wakes up in a strange new neighborhood where people seem to recognize him and girls give him weird looks. Oh, and people keep calling him 'Barney,' whoever that is.
Comments: An idea that came to me after watching too much HIMYM followed by the Dr. Horrible soundtrack. Billy dealing with Barney's life? Priceless. Barney dealing with the ELE...? It's more likely than you think.

Prologue - In a dark, unfamiliar place.

Billy woke up to a woman in his bed. Only it was wasn't his bed. Billy woke up in a woman's bed!?

He let out a scream the like of which Fury Leika would have been proud of. In terms of volume, of course. Nothing villainous about screaming your lungs out like a girl, Dr. Horrible thought, in retrospect.

The woman next to him only stirred and rolled over on her side. She. Was. Naked.

Billy's face was as red as Dr. Horrible's coat as he quickly turned away. All he could think was: 'Oh god, oh god. Was I drunk last night? Is this Fake Thomas Jefferson's idea of a joke? Pick on the new guy? Spike his drink?' ('Drop a woman in bed with him and see what happens?' seemed like a suggestion Horrible would make.) 'But I only have eyes for Penny...'

Joke or not, Billy was freaked out.

The woman mumbled as she turned toward Billy, who was doing his best to avoid any and all contact with her exposed skin. It was proving a bit hard, because she actually seemed to scoot closer towards him as he fearfully scooted away.

Before getting to the point where Billy would have to roll off the bed, the woman gave up with a groan and opted to sit on the other side. Billy let out a silent sigh as he regained the breath he'd been holding. He pulled the sheets as high as he could, but kept an eye out to see if he could identify her without, you know, seeing anything inappropriate.

She didn't look back at him as she picked up her littered clothes from the floor. She was still naked, and it was at that moment that Billy noticed he was naked too. He was lying in bed, naked. Under the sheets of a woman's bed. These things did not happen! Not without consent!

"Uh..." He started. Now that the woman was (somewhat) clothed, he was able to get a good look at her. She had tanned skin and long, dirty-blond hair. Dr. Horrible would probably describe her as "dead in the eyes with an aura of self-loathing and despair." She was... well, not pretty, like Penny was; she was more along the lines of 'sexy'. Maybe some villain's henchman-err, hench-woman? She probably hated her job, though, judging by how begrudgingly she picked up her stuff and grumbled about the time.

With her shirt and jacket in a bunch, she turned around to face him. Billy tried pulling the sheets up higher, but quickly noticed the problem with that plan: the sheets were too short. He was obviously sitting in a King size bed, yet the sheet was at most a normal Twin. 'Who's bed was this!?'

Wearing only her bikini and half her pants (which slid far too easily down her waist), the woman glared. Her eyebrow twitched and it seemed she expected him to say something.

"Uh..." Billy prepared to apologize (for what, he did not know), but was cut off.

"That's it? No 'get out' or 'door's on the left through the hall'? I suppose you think I already know my way around, don't you? What, am I not even worth your time once you've had your fun with me!?"

Billy had no idea what the woman was talking about, and quite frankly, her tone was beginning to unsettle him. 'I thought this was her apartment...?' He stared on, speechless, as the woman scoffed and continued her rant.

"Look, just 'cuz I confused you with some guy on the internet doesn't mean you can just to pretend to be him now! You sure as hell didn't act like him last night!" Seeing Billy unresponsive, she merely rolled her eyes. "You know what? Just forget it! I don't even know where I saw the resemblance." With her shoes and (remaining) clothes in tow, she sent him one last glare before storming off. Soon after, a door slammed in the distance.

Billy was still in bed. Not his bed. Not that woman's bed. Someone's bed.

"Where am I?"

To Be Continued...

Aaannd I'm beta-hunting for plans of a Barney version to go with this. Imagine... Barney resisting an urge to sing that seems to linger in the air...!

Only doom that's looming is Ted missing me to death Or something like that? Go review!