Sachi Gosetsuke: it never occurred to me that my OneShot No More Memories could be the unofficial prequel to my Xiaoyin story Playing With Fate. Cool! I guess it will be for people who have read Playing With Fate.
And this can also be the unofficial prequel to No More Memories – if you've already read it I guess.
This is also a little longer (and of course different) from its unofficial prequel. It's all in Jin's POV, and takes place during Tekken 4.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken. If I did…the possibilities are endless…(unable to suppress evil grin)…
o-o-o
Inside Out
By Sachi Gosetsuke
…
Different. That's all I can say. She looks…different.
My little Phoenix is all grown up.
Xiaoyu was my best friend. My only friend for that matter. Which was ironic because she was a girl – not that I'm saying I still think girls have cooties, but it's funny, because most girls swooned at the sight of me. It was really annoying and awkward actually. However, the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew she was different.
And she was different. Not only did she still wear her hair in pigtails and like cutesy things like pink and pandas, but she also had the spirit of a child, with the very innocence of one.
Different from everyone. Different inside out.
Xiaoyu was so sweet. She was so kind, and caring. With just the look in her eyes, filled with innocence and a sense of mischief, all your troubles and worries were gone. She made each typical bland day one of the best days of your life. Xiaoyu completed me. She made me happy.
She was my best friend. You would think though, that about a year of living together in the same roof, and being with each other 24/7, that we had dated.
Of course we didn't.
She was the little sister I never had; I was always looking out for her, helping her, buying her things and making her laugh. I loved her…in a brotherly way. That's why every time some idiot tried to get her number, I always wanted to punch their lights out…in a brotherly way.
There were times I thought of what would happen if our friendship grew into something more. I don't suppose I had disagreed with the possibility of it, let alone not liked the idea…however, I had other things in mind: the tournament…Ogre…I didn't think I had time for dating.
I don't think she did either.
Xiaoyu was full of big dreams and craved for adventure, and lived life to the fullest; it was so unlike me, and also different from other teenagers.
Inside out, she was different, just like me.
I know I should have said something to her when I left. But how could I? I was on the run. But I know now how I had stolen a chunk of her life, like a ruthless robber after a precious jewel.
But I came back. I knew she would have wanted to join the tournament, so I sent an e-mail to warn her. But I knew it wouldn't have done any good; like I said, she had big dreams and craved for adventure. Also, she was a little headstrong and didn't really like to sit and listen.
So why was I surprise to see her at the tournament, looking high and low for me?
She changed.
She was donned in a wacky yet modest pink floral dress, stopping at mid thigh. Different from the outfits she had worn before. Xiao was too dignified to wear suggestive clothing, yet she wore outfits that told a story of her own personality, still in the latest style with her own added twist. Her dress was like that too.
But she looked different in the dress.
She looked radiant that day.
She grew up, inside and out. I could see it in her eyes; they sparkled with hope, hope that she would find me, and also radiated innocence and matured sense, and of course, those chocolate orbs of hers seemed to glow with beauty.
It was then I knew she was different, inside out. I didn't dislike it; in fact, I was shocked in the most pleasant of ways.
I guess it was the night of the living dead hormones.
I never did want her. Yeah sure, I wanted her to be happy. I wanted to enjoy myself with her (in the most non-sexual, perverted way), and I wanted her to be safe. Again, she was the sister I never had. I cared for her in a brotherly way.
But here she was, different, inside out…she used to be cute then. But back then she was 16. Now she's 18, all grown up…and I wanted her.
I couldn't.
There was no way I could have her. No way after what I had done to her. She had every right to hate me.
And of course there was no way she could have me as well. I was too dangerous…inside and out as well.
I was forever cursed with the damned Gene that my bastard of a father passed down to me. I don't think I would have been able to control my inner demon from jumping on her -- being that she had already awakened my uncontrollable hormones and that Devil happened to be perverted as well.
Not to mention that I had nothing to give to her but a dangerous life, a life on the run.
If I had her, I might as well have brought a gun to her head and ended it right there.
Having her would have sentenced her to her deathbed.
So here she was, different inside out, and making me want her. I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms and never let go, hear her laugh again and see her radiant smile light up on her face as she confessed her love to me. I wanted her to love me.
I couldn't though.
I wouldn't even talk to her. I wanted her to hate me, so that when I left her alone she wouldn't miss me like she did before. Go ahead Xiao; hate me, and fall for someone better than me. Someone who isn't afraid to love you back, and can give you a better life.
…That moment I knew she loved me. I can't believe I didn't know before. She loved me, and I knew she was willing to have me back.
I love you too Xiao.
I loved her. I wanted her so badly that I think I can't control the Devil Gene because of her. But she wasn't the only one different inside out.
You would think that I was just a normal guy; a little mysterious, monotone, a good fighter and quiet. Well inside I'm so much more than that. I am cursed, having the Devil Gene in my blood, running through my veins. And though I don't show it outside, I still mourn for my mother's loss, and am still grieving for the betrayal of the man I saw as a father.
And outside, Xiaoyu, you think I don't care. You think that I think your nothing more than a silly little heartsick teenager, with stupid dreams and that I just want to be left alone. I'm the complete opposite of that stranger. I care so much about you that I think I could bleed with the emotion of it. I think that you are so much more than what meets the eye, and I think you can do anything and can be anything you want to be. Your dreams are my dreams Xiao; I want you to be happy no matter what, whether it's with some other guy. And I don't want to be alone anymore, Xiaoyu. I want you, I want to be with you all the time, and I want to be able to love you as much as I do in the inside.
And I want to tell you these things Xiaoyu…maybe more than you want to know these things…
But I guess I can't.
We both are different inside out.