This is a TIVA AU fic. The events since the episode 'Two-Faced' in season 8 and the seasons before have happened. The events that have happened after 'Two-Faced' have not happened and instead my fic has replaced them. I'm pretty sure that makes sense but if not, I'm sorry. Just enjoy and please R&R! It will affect if I create/upload anymore fics because seriously my first fic was going to be my only fic, but with NcisAddict98 putting me on author alert and many others adding Lingerie to their favourite stories, I thought I owed it to them to post at least one more fic.

Oh and if this turns out to be popular I just might make this into a chapter fic, so I have my fingers crossed; now it's up to you.

So, I'm done rambling, please just enjoy and let me know your honest thoughts. (:

Disclaimer: Sorry don't own NCIS, their characters or any materials/references used from the show but I know I'm not the only one who wishes they did. I promise to return the characters after I finish playing with them. :D

CHAPTER ONE

"I'm sorry Gibbs."

"It's for real this time." Ziva said these words with tears in her eyes, but she was determined not let them fall, let alone for Gibbs to see them. But most of all she thought it just wasn't right. Her crying would seem childish in the situation she was currently in.

Her relationship with Ray didn't heal like she hoped it would, but then again she might have over reacted to a point where Ray thought he should back off. But Ziva had her reasons, the men in her life just seemed to let her down constantly, how could she possibly trust him…trust any man? Eli, her father and Ari, her brother, were supposed to be the two people she could without a doubt not question their love and trustworthiness. They were her family, so if they weren't to be trusted, her own family, how could she trust others that weren't?

When Ray had asked her about her friends she went down the list. Abby, the carefree happy Goth. McGee, the intelligent baby of the dysfunctional family. And Tony, she had hesitated after saying his name, only for a fraction of a second, but of course Ray caught that. He had frowned a little, Ziva didn't know what else to do but tell the truth…well part of the truth. That Tony and she were close and that she thought of him as an older annoying brother. It seemed to have eased Ray as he visibly relaxed. She looked down with a hollow expression, thinking of the times she and Tony were interrupted by Gibbs during their 'moments'. She knew they were just teasing, but something deep down inside told her it was more than just harmless office fun. She did this while hugging Ray, to seal the reassurance he had towards Ziva and Tony's relationship. Later Ziva realised she was lucky Ray had not seen her expression. So a week later when Ray had a chance to visit her at work, things tumbled down like a house of cards. Ray thought she was over reacting, but how could he say such a thing if he knew why she is the way she is? After the events of that day Ziva knew that there was no way she and Ray could go back to the way they were.

Now that Ray was out of the picture, and Ziva arrived to work as per usual, she realised something else that had bothered her at the back of her mind, a little itch that she just couldn't shake. She knew what that was of course. EJ. There were times that she had to let it out, tell someone (Ray), that she just couldn't be trusted. There was something about her that seemed as if she had an agenda. The fact that she showed up out of the blue (under Vance's orders or not), seems suspicious enough. Ziva didn't trust her, not for one moment and the problem was that Tony was sleeping with her. That meant that he did not agree. She could not tell him, not yet. It would push him further away and with the problems she and Tony have just overcome, she didn't know if they could come back from it as they have not completely healed yet.

As the weeks went by, EJ had spent more and more time around Tony at work and it seemed to bother Ziva increasingly. It had come to a point where EJ was helping out in Gibbs' cases by either telling Tony while Gibbs wasn't around, or just butting her nose in herself. Ziva just couldn't take it anymore. If she wanted to be on their team so badly, Ziva would give her what she wanted.

"Are you sure about this Ziva?" Gibbs asked softly. He didn't particularly like Agent Barrett, let alone trust her either. He was watching Ziva closely for the past few weeks and he knew why she was doing this and part of him didn't blame her. She felt like EJ was taking over her place in the NCIS family, Ziva didn't feel threatened (ever), she felt like things were too diverse for her to be able to work professionally.

"Where will you go Ziva?" Gibbs asked just as gently.

"I'm not sure yet Gibbs." All I know is…" Ziva sighed "I have to get away."

Gibbs nodded solemnly. "Ok."

"Thank you Gibbs." "I will…come by and pick up the rest of my things…later."

And with that Ziva picked up a box of her personal items and left the building without looking back. As Gibbs watched her press the button for the elevator he looked at her once more and reluctantly went back to his paper work. As he did this the elevator doors opened and Ziva stepped inside, turning around to face the doors and pressed "UG". As the doors were closing, a tear escaped Ziva's right eye and ran down her cheek.

Love it, hate it? Please tell me what you think. Want more? R&R! Simple as that. :D