Disclaimer: I don't own Two And A Half Men

"Alan," Charlie said, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What do you mean," Alan asked.

"The way you've been acting lately... explain it," Charlie said

"Lately?"

"Well today."

"I'm trying to be tough," Alan said, "You know like I'm supposed to be"

Charlie rolled his eyes.

"Alan," Charlie said, "Tough isn't your style. You being tough is about as weird as my being sober"

"Well sure," Alan said, "But I can't be not negative when a situation needs it to be negative right?"

"You have to find the middle ground. Communication Alan- it's your strong point"

"There wouldn't be any respect for me if I'm not tough," Alan said

"No there wouldn't be any respect for you if you were," Charlie said, "It doesn't fit you. I'm more the tough person. I could come up with tons of ideas that are tough-"

"I'm not so sure about your ideas Charlie. You're my brother and I love you but you don't exactly have the patience that comes with handling situations."

"Thank you Alan you just brought me to my next point. How good would I be at being you?"

Alan stared at Charlie confused.

"How good would you be at being me? Well there are some things you would have to know first though and you'd need to-"

"No lets say I decided I was going to be you for a day. How good would I be at being you?"

"Charlie no offense but that would be a disaster waiting to happen and it wouldn't have long to wait," Alan said, "You can't just go in and just-"

"Alan I'm not going to go and be you," Charlie said, "I'm asking you how good I would be at being you. Fizz crackle pop-"

"Okay first of all it's Snap Crackle Pop and secondly you don't know anything about being me. You don't know the first thing about it."

"I know that you're about as good as being like me as I would be at say... going into your office and starting cracking spines," Charlie said

Alan shuttered.

"There's an imagine I don't need," he said.

"And your being tough with Jake is about as unrealistic as my cracking spines"

"You don't crack a spine," Alan said, "You adjust a spine. If you cracked a spine you would break it and probably get sued for malpractice and practicing medicine without a licence."

"Once again you miss my point. Be yourself."

"But Jake drew a picture of a large breasted girl," Alan said

"O O O O O O H H H H H H H he's a typical male. Alan when he was born the doctor did say it's a boy not it's a pansy right?"

"Well... well yes but he should have respect for woman and the girl who he drew was upset"

"He's a boy Alan and he did apologize"

"Eeeeeeh you may be right. I'll go and talk to him"

"Um... Alan just one more thing. You should be proud to be yourself Alan. To me I think you're pretty awesome"

"You think I'm awesome? Why did you never tell me that before?"

"You're my little brother," Charlie said, "I didn't think I had to tell you I love you. I thought you should know it. You know some things you do make me crazy but that's okay. I mean you're my brother and we're not always going to agree on everything but that doesn't mean I don't love you."

"Well I'm glad to know that you do," Alan said, "Cause I love you too"

"I know," Charlie replied.