Something happened. Something that wasn't in their plans.
The Akatsuki had just attacked Sunakagure. It was a carefully planned out assault meant to force a war between the already strained countries of Suna and Iwa. Having recently sealed the five-tailed beast, most of the Akatsuki members were going to channel and combine their chakra, partially summoning the beast while Itachi used his Sharingan to put the beast under his control. There were some of issues that came up but all in all, the mission was looking successful.
It had been a draining task to keep the beast summoned from a distance, summoning only a very precise piece of it so it would be easier to control. All of the Akatsuki members were tired out with most of them showing signs of chakra exhaustion. Itachi seemed to have the worst of it, and Pein noted his own chakra reserves were far lower than he would like. Still he believed himself to be better off than the majority of their group. Thankfully all they had to do now was for them to escape the country without being seen.
As the Akatsuki were taking their leave, the mission took a bad turn. They were spotted by a team of Suna scouts who managed to signal for reinforcements before their swift defeat. Those reinforcements then managed to catch sight of them as well. They couldn't afford to be found involved in the attack, especially not after coming so far. Pein would be damned if he let everything fall to pieces when success was so close!
A battle erupted with the reinforcements, but with how worn out the Akatsuki were they couldn't afford to take any chances. During the battle some of the attacks used by both sides were visible from the village, which only made things worse. As Pein sensed more Suna-nin approaching and had to think of something to get the entire Akatsuki, as well as the witnesses that would need to be disposed of, out of there immediately.
Desperate for an escape plan, Pein thought of one of his Jutsus that was near completion. It was a variant of the Flying Thunder God Technique that would be perfect for moving groups through large distances. Even though the Akatsuki leader had worked on it for months and truly believed it only needed some rigorous testing, it was extremely reckless. Under any other circumstances he would not dare to take the risk.
As if it wasn't reckless enough to attempt to use the potentially incomplete Jutsu, the man was also planning to use it on 12 people at once, while low on chakra! Gritting his teeth, the Akatsuki leader performed the appropriate hand symbols. This would have to be their only choice.
The next time Pein opens his eyes, he was greeted by a canopy of lush trees and a dim night sky. He could feel the cold wind that shook the trees above him and the generally cool feeling around him. It was obvious he wasn't in Suna anymore.
Based on how green his surroundings were, he would guess they were somewhere in the land of fire but something felt... odd. The stoic man couldn't point out what it was, he just knew this wasn't the land of fire. The more time that passed, he was sure of it.
The Akatsuki leader sat up to see a sea of black and red robes scattered around him. It was his subordinates bodies, plus the two Suna-nin. A small exhale left him as he sensed a steady enough amount of chakra in their bodies. They were unconscious, but alive.
As Pein moved to stand he noticed he had been using Zetsu's body as a pillow and had one of his legs draped over Itachi, with the other on Tobi's back. Come to think of it, everyone seemed to have landed in rather embarrassing ways that whether it be using another member as a pillow or leaning into someone elses body. Deidara for example, was curled up in the nook of Kakuzu's arm. Pein was definitely not looking forward to how that was going to end.
Fighting against his heavy body and the persistent dull ache in his head, Pein forced himself to stand. He didn't like how uneasy this place made him feel; it was like a looming omen for something horrible to come.
He managed to relax once he sensed people in the distance; It seemed like a large village was nearby. At least now they'd be able to find out where they were with little trouble. By tomorrow morning they'd be on their way to the nearest base and back to business as usual.
Speaking of the others, he should at least wake Konan. With little effort he managed to find his partner with her legs tucked next to Kisame's side and her head resting on Sasori's shoulder. Yes, he should definitely wake her up before anyone else sees her like this.
Pein knelt to gently shake the woman awake. There was a light groan followed by Konan taking a slow, dazed look around her. Seeing the bodies around her, she quickly went to sit up before raising a hand to her head.
"Gods, it feels like I had a rock for a pillow..." she groaned weakly.
Pein shifted his gaze to Sasori's stiff wooden form. "You're not that far off. Come." Once he gave the order, he stood and walked just enough to build some distance between the mass of bodies to have a private talk with Konan.
His partner stood as quickly as she could and followed. She too was unsettled by their moonlit surroundings. "Where are we? How did we get here?"
"I can't say I know where we are, but there is a village nearby. I was going to ask you to survey the area." As soon as Pein finished speaking, the woman complied.
With no effort, Konan made a few sheets of paper appear and fold into origami butterflies, before sending them to roam the area.
Satisfied, Pein continued. "As for how we got here, I used the jutsu I have been developing."
Konan's eyes widened at his words. "Tell me you're not serious! We're lucky everybody is still in one piece!" The kunoichi looked back at the unconscious Akatsuki, her brows now tightly knit together.
"I am serious. It was the only thing I could do in such short notice. We couldn't afford to have the mission end in failure."
Konan was clearly unhappy, but seemed to hold back as she thought everything over. "Is it safe to use the jutsu again to move to one of our bases?"
There was a hesitant pause before Pein answered.
"I don't know. Although everyone is safe, it seems I had no control over where we landed. It may have been due to my low chakra levels or a lack of concentration on my part. Either way, we would have to wait until I restore some more chakra if we decide to try it."
There was a heavy silence between the two, disturbed only by the soft sounds of nature around them. After a short while, Konan's butterflies returned, leaving the woman with more worries.
"There's a large village southeast of here but I'm not familiar with it. I can confirm that we're not in the land of fire or anywhere else I know so... we're lost."
The heavy silence once again took hold of them. Pein was berating himself at how he could have taken such a large risk and put everyone in danger. Things could have turned out worse, but even so, to have risked everyone's lives with such little thought. What kind of a leader was he?
Knowing her partner well enough to know when something was bothering him, Konan let out a sigh and made herself relax. For both of their sake.
"Pein, no one was hurt. We'll just find out where we are and tomorrow we'll head to one of our bases. It's a setback, but everyone is safe. Just make don't do something so careless again."
There was no reply until a few moments passed, Pein finally giving a nod.
"We'll wait for everyone to awaken then make our way there", The Akatsuki leader began, " For the time being, it may be best not to tell the others about this unless absolutely necessary. It was my failure that got us lost. Telling them will only make everyone question my ability to lead, and you know Madara already believes so. There's no need to give him any satisfaction."
Konan thought it over before giving a small nod.
After that, the two of them stood in silence watching the sky above them. It was strange, even something as large as the sky looked different. The stars were harder to see, and they couldn't find any of the constellations they knew of. Everything was just.. wrong.
After a few minutes they heard groans and shuffling from the bodies nearby. The first to awaken were Hidan and Tobi, both looking pretty rough. Even in this state, Pein was sure they would make enough of a racket to wake the others.
Hidan awoke groaning and grabbed his throbbing head as he sat up to see the mess in front of him. After a few seconds of looking around to try to make sense of what happened, his eyes went to Pein.
"Shit, this is some hangover... what the hell happened?"
His reply came from the other body around him that was awake. "Hangover? But.. Tobi is a good boy... Tobi would never do anything that would give him a hangover!"
The orange masked man began to sit up, kicking his feet free of Itachi's arms and waking the Uchiha with a kick to the head in the process. Upon trying to stand up, Tobi froze to put his hands over his mask to try to compose himself. "But Tobi's head does feel like it was split open like a coconut..."
Kisame was next, sitting up to join the small choir of groans. "I get to wake up to both of your beautiful voices at once. What did I do to deserve this grand treat? I must be blessed." His groggy voice did nothing to mask the heavy sarcasm his words carried.
The Jashinist priest shot a weak glare at the shark man. "You should feel blessed an atheist like you even gets hear Jashin's most loyal follower." he grumbled more to himself than anything.
Tobi, on the other hand was wiggling in place while his childish high-pitched giggles escaped him. "Kisame-Senpai! You're making me blush... If you want, Tobi can make sure you always wake up to Tobi's voice! We can sleep in the same bed and it will be like a sleep over! "
Kisame grit his teeth at the offer and answered flatly, "I'll pass". He wisely chose to drop the subject as to not encourage the hyperactive man.
Sasori was the next to get up, standing quietly and almost immediately. His hair was slightly ruffled up, but overall he seemed unaffected. The puppet master took one quick look around, let out a tsk and rushed to Hiruko's side to assess any damage.
Itachi was fully awake by now, though he was having trouble getting up; His chakra levels seemed to be the lowest out of everyone by far. Despite this, the Uchiha seemed to keep an even and steady glare on a particular orange masked man-child that had just kicked him awake.
Zetsu was awake next, though he opted to submerge most of himself into the ground, grumbling to himself until his headache became more bearable.
The steady choir of bodies groaning and shuffling was broken by Hidan's loud snort and badly stifled laughter. Kisame looked the cause of the priest's outburst and quickly covered his mouth, trying to stop his own laugh. They had finally noticed Kakuzu and Deidara's intimate embrace.
"Aww, doesn't it just warm your heart?" Kisame asked while pretending to wipe away a tear.
"I didn't know Kakuzu had a fucking soft spot for blondie. Hey, did anyone bring a camera?" called out Hidan with his usual cocky grin.
"Wow! Deidara-senpai looks so cute sleeping in Kakuzu-senpai's big strong arms! Almost like a baby!" added Tobi.
"Leader, shouldn't we help him? Can we eat him after? It might help our headache." White Zetsu was genuinely concerned while Black Zetsu eyed the bomber hungrily.
Pein wasn't too keen on being near the miser or one of his fits of rage once he woke up and saw the situation he was in. "All of you should be ready to interfere if things go badly. As long as Kakuzu doesn't kill him however, it will be fine."
The commotion that had started up finally seemed to be waking Kakuzu. The miser opened his eyes, squinting as he took a look around. The first thing he noticed was his partner's smug face, along with Kisame and Tobi watching him expectantly. Come to think of it, everyone but Sasori and Itachi were looking at him with varying degrees of interest.
"What the hell are all of you looking at?"
"Nothing... Just waiting on you old man." The priest's playful tone or coy grin that followed did nothing to convince the miser.
Although he was already growing tired of his partner, Kakuzu tried to ignore it and sit up when he finally noticed something pulling down his right sleeve, causing his partner some obvious amusement.
The miser could only let out a sigh preparing himself for this to be another one of Hidan's idiotic pranks.
His annoying excuse of a partner had a track record of pulling pranks on him while he slept. It wasn't often and although Hidan was an idiot, he seemed to know exactly when Kakuzu had forgotten about the last prank enough to try again. Even worse, the miser could never figure out how the hell his partner got close enough to him to pull any of them off.
The first time it happened, Hidan used tent stakes to pin the older mans clothes and mask to the ground while he slept. One of the stakes was tripped so that when it was moved, it would spill cold lake water and live fish on the man. It worked and in the end, Kakuzu had to pay to have the holes in his clothes repaired or replace them entirely. He repaid Hidan by using the man's ceremonial pike to stab enough holes into him for each Ryō he had to spend.
Another time his partner sewed their brand new tent (that he bought at full price) shut from both sides. When the former waterfall-nin woke up and tried to open it his partner sent him tumbling down a muddy slope and into a lake, tent and all. He had only bought the tent two days earlier, yet he was forced to rip it into pieces while Hidan was doubled over with laughter on the shoreline.
Kakuzu never did find out how the idiot sewed the tent shut without the materials for it or knowing how to sew, or how he let himself sleep through the entire thing.
The prank that took the prize however, was when the priest had managed to take off the top of Kakuzu's mask while his headband remained untouched, then styled his hair in twin tails complete with a bright red ribbon. All while he slept, sitting against a tree. It was a short nap really; the immortal would have had no more than 15 minutes to do it, yet he did.
The older man had unknowingly walked around like that for an entire day, past travelers, through a small village, until they reached a bounty office. He only found out when the attendant dared to comment on it.
He could clearly remember Hidan's irritating voice when he found out: "But Kuzu, I think the ribbon really pulls your look together and it matches your eyes! Everyone in the village seemed to think so too! You should have heard the things they said about you!"
That day Kakuzu gave Hidan a solid beating that lasted from late afternoon to sunrise, hoping it would finally drill some common sense or into the idiot. He'd take whatever he could get. Unfortunately for him, it didn't.
Weeks after that, Kakuzu would lie awake at night wondering how he could have allowed it to happen. Hidan couldn't pull off a covert mission if his life depended on it, nor could he do anything other than walk, talk, fight and pray; most of which he still did badly. Yet somehow he had managed to get close enough to Kakuzu, style his hair, remain completely unnoticed and stay quiet enough about his antics for an entire day.
That raised some alarming questions for the miser. What else could the Jashinist get away with? What else had he already gotten away with?
Dreading whatever the Jashinist had in store this time, Kakuzu let out a tired exhale before turning his head to look at his arm. It was Deidara curled up against him, sleeping peacefully. How the bomber had even gotten involved was far beyond him, though he had a feeling it wasn't willingly.
It seemed that Hidan's goal this time was to humiliate him in front of the entire criminal organization. It was definitely working.
The miser looked up to see his partner smirking back smugly, waiting eagerly for his reaction. Honestly, Hidan had done worse. He wouldn't give that idiot the satisfaction of riling him up until leader was gone and he could take his sweet, sweet time ripping every bone out of the silver haired man with his bare hands.
Kakuzu nonchalantly stood up, forcefully pulling his sleeve free and completely ignoring the bomber as he slid off and landed roughly on the ground.
Once he noticed nothing was happening, he priests' smirk faltered in disappointed before coming back larger than before.
"Hooooooh, did we finally discover how to tame the angry beast inside you, Ka-ku-zu? Next time you're getting pissed, I'll be sure to snuggle up to you nice and-"
Before Hidan could finish teasing, Kakuzu's jumped up and extended an arm to grab Hidan by the head, completely ignoring the fact that he sent the Deidara flying off somewhere to wake up on impact. The miser continued extended his arm, slamming the Jashinist through a few trees and tree branches before finally slamming his head against a tree trunk, bashing it a few times for good measure.
"I expect everyone knows what will happen to them if this is ever mentioned", the miser warned as he retracted his arm, going on as if nothing unusual had just happened.
The bomber, who was now awake, was completely lost as to what was happening. "What the hell just happened? I woke up and hit a tree out of nowhere, hn! Wait, when the hell did I go to sleep?" he managed to groggily ask while walking back to the main group, each footstep holding a slight sway. Hidan was groaning off in the distance, Kisame and Tobi were failing to hide or subdue their laughter, while everyone else was looking at him pitifully or avoiding looking at him entirely.
"Who knows", muttered Kakuzu lowly, almost like a growl. It effectively made the Deidara feel the tension in the air and drop the matter.
With the last of them awake, Pein finally spoke. "Kakuzu, please try to treat your comrades more carefully." His request was met with an sharp angry exhale before being ignored. "Now that everyone is awake, we can begin."
"Leader, I'm not sure if Hidan's awake anymore" Kisame interjected between his chuckles, doing little to hide his sharp grin.
"He's conscious." the Akatsuki leader answered before continuing. "Now, during our escape from Suna, something strange happened and we awoke here. Although it looks similar to the land of fire, Konan has confirmed it is not. This is a new land we are unfamiliar with. There is a civilization nearby which we will go to and find out where we are and tomorrow morning we will head to the nearest base."
Everyone signaled approval or acknowledgment, while a bloody mess that was believed to be Hidan limped back to the group, shooting a glare at his partner.
"Kakuzu, do we have the funds to stay at an inn?" Pein questioned.
The miser let out an annoyed grunt before answering. "We have about 7000 Ryō. It's just pocket money, but we should be able to afford a room for the night."
Before anyone could get too excited, Kakuzu shot a glare at the rest of his comrades. "Just ONE room. These are all of our funds. We don't know how long we will have to survive on them."
The budding hopeful chatter turned into groans and protests.
"Ten people in one room? Are you mad?"
"I'm calling the bed! You guppies can have fun figuring out where to sleep. Haha!"
"Kakuzu, what the fuck?! We have to share the damn room?"
"Ugh! You're spitting blood on me, hn!"
"If you want to stay in your own rooms, you can pay for them out of your own pockets!"
"Tobi thinks its fine! This way Tobi gets to have a sleep over with all of his senpais!"
"Shut it Tobi!"
"Leader, what do we do with these two? Can we eat them?" asked Zetsu, his question serving to stop the heated discussion taking place. The dual colored man eyed one of the passed out Suna nin, his eyes gleaming with hunger.
Deidara approached the other Suna nin and poked him with his foot a few times. "Yeah, they're still out cold. Since we have to kill them anyway, can I make them into art?"
"Hey, I want to sacrifice them!"
"But Deidara, If you blow them up we won't be able to eat. "
"Choose between yourselves but make it quick", their leader dismissed. "Deidara, do you have enough chakra for us to travel on your clay birds?"
With little thought the blonde nodded to his leader. "I'm sure I can get us to the village. From there I'll just go as far as I can, yeah?"
One small explosion and a Zetsu meal later, The Akatsuki were on their way. The clay birds carrying the group glided over the thick treeline, almost immediately revealing the new village in the distance. The sight left them awestruck.
The group found they had been in a small private forest the entire time. Surrounding that forest was the huge village that sprawled out on all sides but one, where a large lake was. To call the village huge would be an understatement. Even with the aerial view the bomber's clay birds provided, no one could see or sense an end to the village. There were scattered clusters of bright skyscrapers in the distance, and an abundance of light everywhere below them.
As they flew over what seemed like a housing district, a few members commented on whatever unfamiliar things they noticed such as the strange architecture of the homes, or the overabundance of strangely designed automobiles.
Most of them had seen cars before but since they were impractical for ninja as well as expensive, it was rare for someone to own one. After all, a car couldn't save you from an ambush, nor could it travel through the forests, mountains or any other large distances without relying on hard-to-find fuel. Though this land was obviously prosperous and very distinctive, it did very little in helping anyone to learn more about where they were.
Another thing everyone had noticed was just how many people there were. As a precaution, they had been concealing their chakra the entire time while looking out for any potential threats, yet in the endless sea of people below them, no one sensed anything noteworthy.
Eventually Kisame became uneasy enough to comment on it.
"Has anyone else noticed how weak everyone here feels? We've been flying over this place for a while bow and everyone still feels like a civilian. It's not just me, right?"
"Maybe this place is just full of pussies", the Jashinist answered. "I haven't even sensed any weak shinobi."
"It looks pretty peaceful. Maybe they don't have many shinobi here, hmm", Deidara suggested.
Itachi remained unconvinced, carefully eyeing the buildings below. "It's hard to believe a place as large or peaceful as this could exist without any warriors, shinobi or otherwise."
"We should remain cautious. There is much we don't know about this land. For the time being we will continue to not to call any unwanted attention to ourselves." Pein said with a firm tone.
The conversation ended just as Deidara decided he should land. Although they would have to walk the rest of the way, they had at the very least gotten past the sea of houses to a more promising commercial area. They would probably have more luck finding an inn or hotel here.
Soon after landing Sasori found the first piece of information towards finding out where they were. It was a street sign hanging over the road, reading 'West Cooper Boulevard, City of Ashe Hill'.
"I've found out where we are", the puppet master said lazily while pointing out the sign to the others.
"City of Ashe Hill?" asked Zetsu aloud. "What land is it in? How should I know?"
"I'm certain it's not in the five great nations or the land of iron" Kakuzu stated.
"How can you be sure?" questioned Sasori.
"I've traveled more than you can imagine. At the very least I would have heard stories of a place like this" the miser replied simply.
"So then we must be pretty far from our usual stomping grounds" concluded Kisame, seemingly taking the news in stride.
"How did we even end up here? It's strange we'd get warped to some far away country we've never heard of while we're in the middle of a battle, yeah? It's like we were just dumped in the middle of nowhere" stated the bomber.
"The brat is right. Did anyone notice anything strange happening during our last moments in Suna?" the puppet master asked aloud to the entire group.
Most of the Akatsuki members thought it over while Pein and Konan looked to each other, recalling their earlier conversation. Konan began to wordlessly urge her partner to tell the others about the jutsu. Before Pein could react, someone spoke.
"I felt something strange. Really? It felt like someone's chakra but it was so overwhelming I couldn't focus on it. Strange, I didn't feel a thing!" Zetsu commented from his cozy spot on the ground.
"I felt it too" added Kakuzu. "While I was fighting one of the Suna ninja, I felt the air around us turn strange and heavy. I didn't have time to think much on it."
"Tobi felt it too! It felt like something was pushing through Tobi!" the orange masked man shared excitedly, hoping to be of some help.
"I felt pressure too. It was definitely some kind of chakra but I couldn't recognize it. Hmm.. I guess that's not much help", added Kisame while scratching the back of his head.
In just seconds, Itachi had put together a theory. "Since all of us were transported, I'd say someone used a time-space jutsu on us. I can't think of any way someone would have the ability to pull it off on such a large scale, with no seals or preparation, while remaining unnoticed. It's simply not feasable."
"Who would bother to send us here though? It's kind of weird no one could recognize their chakra too, hn." Deidara questioned, his hand resting on his chin pensively.
Pein, who was now growing nervous, turned to Konan in hopes of receiving reassurance or any other small comfort. Instead he was met with her icy glare. It was clear she was expecting him to tell everyone the truth. He considered it, but quickly decided against it. There was no immediate danger. After all, no matter what happened he'd make sure everyone returned to the five nations safely.
He couldn't let everyone lose faith in him as their fearless and competent leader. Their leader who dared to call himself God; he could never admit to such a failure. Besides, once they found out where they were they could get back easily! Heck, he could even complete that damn jutsu in a day or so and all of this would be over with. All that he needed was some time.
Gritting his teeth, Pein turned back to his subordinates, keeping his stoic mask in place. He turned just in time to catch Hidan's conclusion.
"Okay, so what we can come up with is that some jack off we don't know, sent all of us to who-the-fuck-cares outside of the five nations, then just ditched us without killing anyone or wanting anything in return?"
How convenient. It seemed the heavens smiled upon the Akatsuki leader.
"It would seem that is exactly what happened", Pein cut in immediately. "It's certainly strange, however in our current state we're not ready to get to the bottom of this. For now, we should focus on finding a safe refuge and resting. Once we find an inn we'll look for some clear answers, then tomorrow morning we can talk this over with clearer minds. No matter what has happened we will find our way back to the five great nations."
There was silence. Did he speak too fast? Was it suspicious? Were they onto him already? He had to think of a plan B. In the midst of Pein's racing thoughts, Itachi spoke up.
"I agree. It would be wise to avoid trouble as we are now. Tomorrow morning we can revisit all of these issues and find a solution."
"It's late anyway, we won't get much done with most of the city shut down, hmm" the bomber added.
A few more Akatsuki members voiced their passive approval but ultimately everyone was fine with the plan. Konan on the other hand, narrowed her eyes at her partner, shaking her head is disbelief.
With that settled, the Akatsuki members began to follow the street on foot. It should have been an easy trip compared to their usual travels, but with everyone's low chakra levels, Tobi's non-stop attempts at starting a conversation and Hidan's complaining, it quickly became unbearable. Before long some of them were looking forward to the cramped one-room inn stay, if anything for the silence once everyone slept.
After a couple of hours of walking they had passed a few roadside inns and hotels, all of them with no vacancies, leaving the group of shinobi to wander further. By this point everyone was tired, hungry and annoyed. It was clear that if they didn't find a place to rest soon they would literally be at each others throats.
"-and Tobi almost didn't even notice the ants! Tobi could have eaten them! Then, just when Tobi thought it was over, suddenly there were ants inside Tobi's mask! Tobi found some dango sauce on Tobi's mask and the ants had been crawling all over Tobi to get to it! Isn't that scary?" Tobi had just finished his eighteenth story, marking his eighteenth failure at getting the others to talk. He seemed to take a minute to see that no one else was going to join his talk.
Hearing another story starting up, Kisame chose to interrupt the masked man and check up on his partner. Unfortunately, the Uchiha seemed to be doing no better than when they woke up in the forest.
"Hey 'tachi, you feeling okay? It looks like you're gonna keel over any minute now."
"I'm fine." the Uchiha replied. He sounded normal enough, but it was hard for anyone that laid eyes on him to actually believe it.
Itachi's normally pale skin was graying. He was clearly tired and it looked like he had been mobbed by an angry crowd and left as a shell of the former shell of a man he already was. Despite this, the Uchiha kept his impassive, aloof demeanor.
Unfortunately his usually cool demeanor, combined with his sickly appearance only made the red eyed man look like he was ready and willing to embrace his death with wide open arms.
"Hm, you look like Orochimaru used his reanimation jutsu on you", commented Deidara smugly, enjoying seeing the Uchihas normally cold shell finally crack.
Itachi chose to ignore the bomber and kept walking.
"Alright kid. Just don't drop dead before I can use Samehada on you", his partner muttered before dropping the matter.
The further they trekked the street started changing, turning from average, deserted streets into a more lively area for with people still lingering by. The buildings were taller, sleeker and there was still some businesses open in the late hours of the night.
The area was filled with restaurants, offices, shops, bars, and the occasional civilians who would fearfully look at at the group in matching robes from a distance. If the group of ninjas hadn't been so tired and concerned with finding out where the hell they were, this might have been a fun place to let loose for a while.
"This place is fucking huge!" Hidan said to no one in particular. He was enjoying taking in the strange but all too familiar sights on the lit up road they walked down. "Man, I kinda wish we could actually check this place out for a while."
"Focus. We don't have time to spare." reprimanded Pein.
The Akatsuki had been wandering around for about three hours now. It seemed that knowing that they were staying at an inn only made everyone even more restless.
"Hey, that looks like a hotel, yeah?" Deidara motioning to a brightly lit glass building. It was tall enough to rival the skyscrapers in Ame, but the front of the building was rounded and looked very sleek.
Kakuzu took one look at the building and frowned. "We can't afford that. Let's keep moving."
Deidara looked at the miser, then the building, then back to the miser. "Eh? How do you know we can't afford it? We don't even know how much it is! We should at least ask, yeah?" Kakuzu withheld a reply and continued walking.
"Fine, what about that one?" This time the blonde was pointing to a square glass building that was far less extravagant but still looked very polished. The lights were dim and the glass seemed to alternate on each floor to make the building look like it had blue and black stripes. Despite everything, the building still set a good ambiance.
Kakuzu looked at the building before shooting a glare at the blonde. "We're not staying in this area. All of these places will bleed our funds dry in a night!"
Ready to drop the subject, the miser continued walking without sparing another look.
"You know, Tobi thinks it wouldn't hurt to ask. Tobi is tired and hungry and wants to sleep!" In a rare occurrence, the normally tireless orange-masked man was slouching over and exhausted. His liveliness had slowly drained from him the later it got into the night.
After there was no reply, the worn and exhausted Itachi let out a sigh and prompted himself to speak. "It is past midnight. Since we may not find a suitable place to stay any time soon, it's in our best interests to at least ask for their rates before continuing."
The complaints were wearing down Kakuzu's patience. "I told you we're not staying in this area. If you want to find a suitable place to spend the night then all of you should walk faster", the miser glared back at the group as if waiting for someone to challenge his words. Once he seemed satisfied he turned and continued on.
He only managed 5 steps before Kisame joined in. "You know, it really doesn't hurt to ask. What's a couple of minutes out of the whole night?"
"Holy shit! Will someone just fucking go and ask already? I swear to Jashin, you guys are worse than a bunch of chicks." Hidan's outburst happened serve as enough of a distraction for the miser to not snap.
Seeing everyone was near their limit, it also the pushed their Leader to speak.
"Very well. Hidan. Itachi. Go."
The Uchiha replied with a hn and began his badly disguised but still tired gait to the second building without waiting for the silver haired man.
"Wait, why the hell do I have to go? I'm not the one fucking whining about it. Send blondie instead!" Hidan crossed his arms keeping his feet firmly planted on the ground. At least until he was forced to dodge one of his partner's fists... followed by some of Sasori's poison senbons.
"Hurry the hell up so we can get going!" Kakuzu was obviously pissed enough without the added detour.
Sasori was visibly irritated as well. "We've wasted enough time and I. don't. like. to be kept waiting."
The Jashinist scowled at the two men before finally trudging off to catch up to the Uchiha. "Tch... assholes."
The inside of the hotel was dim, open and … kind of empty. Both of people and decor. Despite the few simple (minimalist) decorations, it was easy to see why Kakuzu would consider it out of their budget. It was because it was.
The floor was made of large fine-looking marble tiles, the ceiling had a sea of hanging glass and lights, setting a dreamy mood. The wall behind the front desk was covered in small uniformly colored river rocks with a thin but steady stream of water pouring down them. The remaining things in the room looked expensive and one-of-a-kind. Up until this point, neither men had thought that such an empty sterile-feeling room could feel so high class as well.
Itachi and Hidan stood in the entrance of the empty hotel lobby for a few moments looking at each other, as if questioning if they should even bother asking.
The Jashinist priest let out an exasperated sigh before speaking. "Okay, the old fuck was probably right. This isn't a shithole. There's no way we're gonna stay here."
Itachi closed his eyes to think over his words carefully. "I don't want to keep walking."
"Shit, you think I do? I'm tired, my feet fucking hurt and I'm gonna fucking snap if I have to hear another one of Tobi's shitty stories! But trust me, there's no fucking way Kakuzu's gonna to fork over the cash for this."
The Uchiha seemed to think things over for a bit longer. "Let's just ask their rates. If it's too much, then stay quiet and let me handle it."
"Fine. If we can't afford it, I don't know what fucking difference it'll make though."
The two men finally headed to the front desk. It looked like the only person working that night was a lanky young man who was barely in his twenties and was currently engrossed by whatever he was doing on the computer. He had short mousy brown hair, bright honey eyes and a warm welcoming smile. It was almost sickening how pure and naive he looked.
As the two Akatsuki approached, the young man took notice and immediately stiffened. Though he tried not to stare, the more he looked at the two robed men approaching him, he was convinced of how outright dangerous they looked. It was just the brunette's luck he was the only one working the lobby that night. He slowly moved his foot near the silent trigger alarm, just to be safe he told himself, and hoped the men weren't there to cause trouble.
It was then he got another look at them, still careful not to stare. Both men had matching robes and looked beyond annoyed already. The look in their eyes was only made worse by both of their strangely colored eyes. They just had to be contact lens.
The man on the right had a large red scythe on his back and... wait, is that blood on his face?! His hair has it too, that's definitely blood... Oh boy... This guy looked like he'd snap the brunette young man in half if he even breathed the wrong way to him.
The raven haired man was slightly less intimidating. Only slightly. Looking at him seemed to lower the rooms temperature and freeze you in place. On top of looking annoyed, the guy looked really sick. And his eyes, looking at them felt like you were completely exposed and were being picked apart at the core.
Trying to push his fear aside, the young man opted to handle this interaction quickly and professionally. The less he had to be around them, the better.
As they reached the front desk, the fidgeting mess behind the front desk finally greeted them. "H-Hi there, welcome to The Theodore! I'm Steven, do you two have a reservation?"
Both ninjas held back a shudder as they noticed an uncanny similarity between the young man's exaggerated upbeat attitude and Tobi, of all people in the world.
Hidan was the one to drop the question. There was no greeting, no small talk, no padding. His tone was curt but not particularly aggressive though there was something unsettling about the way the silver haired man lurched over, focusing his dark amethyst eyes at Steven. It was almost as if he was waiting for the young man to do something wrong.
"The rate? F-For one night?" There was an audible gulp. "Le-let me find out for you." Steven quickly turned to his computer. There was a heavy silence before he spoke again. "Would you like for me to start making a reservation as wel-"
"The rate." Itachi's voice alone could almost cut the brunette in half. Their eyes met before Steven meekly averted his eyes to escape the Uchihas bone-chilling glare.
"Um.. Of-.. of course..."
Watching the exchange, Hidan was unable to hold back a scoff. Just how big of a pussy was this guy? He was already shaking like a leaf the second he saw them. What did this kid even have to be so worried about? In the priest's mind they weren't being particularly intimidating. No, they were being tame. A little curt but it could easily count as civil. It wasn't like they cornering the guy and staring him down while flaunting their giant bloody weapons around him... Oh right, he forgot he was still covered in blood. Still, the guy could try to show a bit of backbone.
"It's.. 376 dollars for a room with one king bed, and 425 dollars for a room with two queen beds." The fearful man looked to both men, hopeful that they'd be satisfied.
The two ninja however, were at a loss. Four hundred and twenty-five dollars? What the hell was a dollar? 425 Ryō was certainly affordable, but it was far too little for a place like this. Well, there was no point in worrying about it now.
"Do you accept Ryō?" Itachi's question was met with a confused look and some hesitation. Something told the worker these guests wouldn't take rejection gracefully. Steven made sure his foot was hovering over the silent trigger alarm and forced himself to speak.
"I'm.. I'm sorry I've never heard of Ryō but we don't accept any foreign currency. You'd have to exchange the funds for dollars before I can accept them..."
There was silence. Was he still alive? Steven quickly looked at each of the men as if expecting a violent outburst, but there was none. In fact, they seemed to have taken the news surprisingly well.
The silver haired man crossed his arms and glared at his companion. "Well, this is gonna go fucking nowhere."
"I told you I'll handle it." Itachi didn't spare a glance, instead keeping his eyes on the young man in front of him. "Do you have 5 rooms with two beds available on the same floor?"
Steven looked at the raven haired man and furrowed his brows in confusion. Before he could reply his train of thought was interrupted by the man's spinning red eyes. As he watched them, he suddenly felt completely at ease. What had he been worried about again? Oh, right, the rooms. He needed 5 rooms on one floor. Steven turned to the computer once again and within minutes found what he needed.
The young man turned back to the guests before speaking in a relaxed tone. "I have five rooms available on the 12th floor."
"We'll take them." Itachi was pleased with this.
Finally, no more wandering around the streets. No more listening to the other Akatsuki members argue over every little thing someone said or didn't say. No more of Tobi's innate stories. Itachi couldn't wait to finally get some rest and even a shower. Hidan on the other hand, had raised a brow at the exchange but said nothing.
After a few more seconds, Steven spoke again in his ever mellow voice. "It will be $2125 for your stay. What name should I put the rooms under?"
Itachi frowned at this. "No, you don't need our names. You can just hand us the keys."
Steven hesitated for a few seconds. "Hmm...I could get in a lot of trouble for that, you know... I could even lose my job."
Seeing this, Itachi spared a bit more of his scarce chakra to strengthen his hold over the man. The day had been tiring enough. There was no way the Uchiha was going to spend the rest of his night drifting around a strange place, putting up with the rest of the organization. They had only been together for one night and it was already torture.
"We're only spending the night. Come morning no one will even know about our little stay. You can do this for me, can't you?" Itachi's voice was smooth, his words sounding enticing, as if they were offering all of the pleasures in the world. You'd feel like a fool for not listening to him.
The hesitation melted away from Steven before he gave in, suddenly eager to please the raven haired man before him. "No, no! Of course! It's no problem! Let me program the key cards."
A smile threatened to show on the Uchihas mouth, but it was quickly suppressed. Instead, the sharingan wielder turned to his companion. "Go get the others."
Hidan was already wide-eyed, but on hearing those words his mouth dropped open. "Are you really using your fucking eyes to get us a free night at a hotel? That's fucking stealing! I don't want any part of this!"
The Uchiha didn't know how to respond to this. Was the Jashinist joking? He had to be. "Hidan, It's late and I'm tired. I'm not in the mood for jokes."
"I'm not fucking joking! I get you're tired but stealing is a fuckin' sin! Jashin doesn't think highly of thieves!"
Itachi pursed his lips. Out of everything he had seen of the zealot and his religion, was the silver haired man really drawing the line at stealing?
"You've stolen Kakuzu's money before."
"I BORROWED money from him." Hidan near shouted. "And I didn't fucking hypnotize him into giving it to me!"
"Keep your voice down" Itachi warned. "That I recall, you dug through his belongings and helped yourself to his money, then spent it all before he could notice. Have you even payed him back?"
"Yes!" The Jashinist stated before faltering. "Some of it. Look, my scythe needed repairs and the fucker didn't want to spare anything. Besides, I'm still working on paying him back- but don't change the subject! That has nothing to do with this."
"But it does. You've 'borrowed' money like that multiple times now. How is this different?"
"Those were important! I had to repair my scythe to do Jashin's will, and I had to get new clothes because mine got bloodstained and ripped up and that ass fuck wouldn't give me a single damn ryo to buy more! Plus I always repent for it and like I said, I'm gonna pay the motherfucker back."
"Then go along with this and perform one of your repentance ceremonies later."
The priest let out a scoff, "Do you think repentance is a fucking walk in the park? I have to offer a sacrifice then fucking stab myself through the heart and bleed out for hours until Jashin is satisfied. It fucking hurts! If I'm doing that shit it damn well better be worth it."
"Hidan, just listen." Itachi was trying to ignore the headache building up from dealing with the Jashinist. "Outside everyone is tired and their patience is already spread thin. If we continue wandering the streets we won't find other arrangements and likely won't make it through the night without casualties. We're also in no condition to fight. Despite your personal feelings this is for the best."
As much as the priest hated it, the Uchiha made a good point. Hidan glared at his companion before turning away to sulk angrily, much like a child throwing a fit. Itachi was quickly starting to understand Kakuzu's lack of patience for the man.
"If it bothers you so much, you're welcome to pay him back another time" Itachi added.
After taking a few more moments to sulk and glare at him, Hidan finally conceded. Itachi internally rejoiced that he was finally done dealing with the impossibly difficult man.
"Alright. Fine. I'll go and just tell everyone we're staying here because you're fucking brainwashing this guy into it." Hidan stated before starting to head towards the street where the rest of their group was.
Itachi's eyes narrowed in response. "You're not going to tell the other about this."
"Oh, so you want me to fucking lie too? You hedonists really don't fuck around when it comes to sinning. I thought you were some fucking goody two shoes bitch but honestly you're even worse Kakuzu!"
Itachi didn't react for a few seconds. For once in his life, He was was absolutely dumbfounded.
He had never spent much time with the Jashinist and quite frankly assumed the worst of him in almost every way. Never in his life did he imagine the vulgar, bloodthirsty S-Rank criminal in front of him, who regularly sacrificed people to his cult-god, all the while laughing and moaning through most of the 'ceremony', and ranted about how slaughter was the basis of his religion would be so against lying and stealing.
It was beyond hypocritical as well since Itachi had firsthand seen how Hidan could get when he wanted something. He'd suddenly become Mr. Charismatic and say all of the right things, most of which were outright lies. Itachi simply couldn't wrap his head around it.
Not only that, but the priest seemed to sincerely believe that Itachi was morally worse than Kakuzu; not that Itachi particularly cared about his moral standing, nor did he really care about his companion's beliefs or judgments, but it was impossible not to feel offended by that! Worse than Kakuzu. Kakuzu was a monster in every sense of the word. For Itachi to be on the same level as him, much less below him, was outrageous!
"In what way am I worse than Kakuzu?" Itachi questioned, unable to hold back his curiosity. As troublesome as the night was turning out, the idea that anyone could think of him as worse than the old miser became one of his biggest concerns.
"Kakuzu does some fucked up things, some really fucked up things, but he only gets his own hands dirty. The only times I get involved in that shit is when I have to for a mission and even then he lets me repent right after. You just fucking come in out of nowhere and start dragging me into whatever the hell you're doing without at least warning and don't even give a fuck what kind of shit it's gonna get me in!"
Well, at least there was some logic there. Twisted logic, but logic nonetheless.
Before their talk could continue, Itachi's attention was pulled away by the key-cards being held out to him. He decided it was too late to think about this. There would be another day for him to try to unravel the mystery that was named Hidan. A day when he was full on chakra and had a full night's rest.
"Just get the others. If you tell anyone about this you can expect for them to make it a common occurrence."
The previous feelings of animosity were just about gone from the Akatsuki. The group stepped out of the elevator and looked at the well lit and extra wide hallways, gripping their key cards tight in hand. Not only were they unexpectedly staying at a nice hotel, but they wouldn't have to share a single room between them; They even had their own beds!
"I have to admit, this place is nice" Konan commented with a hint of delight. Since Zetsu had chosen to stay outside, Pein had allowed Konan to take a room for herself while he bunked with Tobi. This had Konan thrilled to have a calm night to herself.
No missions. No babysitting idiotic grown men and man children. No stiff cots or prison-style bunks. No hearing the other member's shouts through the walls until the early morning hours (hopefully). It would just be her and a wide comfy bed, all to herself.
Deidara on the other hand wasn't so pleased. Despite being exhausted, ever since setting foot in the building the bomber inspected everything with a critical eye, scrunching his nose in dislike often.
"Hn. It's kind of try-hard if you ask me", the bomber muttered. "Uchiha, you're sure we can stay here, yeah?"
Itachi gave a nod. "I managed to work something out with the management. Our stay is taken care of."
"How much is this costing us? I made it clear we were only getting one room" Kakuzu reminded. The group treasurer's mood had improved upon hearing of their free stay, but he remained wary of having to cover any hidden costs.
Kisame and Itachi stopped as they reached the door for room 1209. The latter inspecting his key card before trying to open the door. "It is of no cost to you. As it turns out the innkeeper was quite generous in helping us find accommodations."
Something clicked in Kisame's mind and he broke into laughter. "Ohhhh, you got the 'ol Uchiha discount? I gotta say, you really have a way with people, kid!"
The other members of the Akatsuki looked at the pair curiously, failing to understand their inside joke. From behind Kakuzu, Hidan's scowl grew. He had to wonder just how often they pulled this stunt.
Without giving an answer, Itachi opened the door to his room and stepped inside. He was followed by his still grinning partner who spared a wave and a good night before closing the door, slamming it in Tobi's face. It seemed the orange-masked man still remembered their talk of a sleep over.
Before the remaining Akatsuki members went to their respective rooms for the night, Pein gave the order that they were to head to his room first thing in the morning for a meeting.
At last the night was winding down. Pein and Tobi held a short meeting, while the remaining Akatsuki members finally let themselves rest. If today was any indication, they'd need to be prepared for whatever was to come while they remained in this strange new place.
A/N: Yooooo. This is legit my first ever fan fiction/attempt writing and I was NOT expecting to write anything this long. I was aiming for about 3k words per chapter but I ended up at almost 9k.. Heh, there goes that...
This and the next chapter will probably be a little... slow-paced? Boring even? The reason why is because I'm setting things up so that after the first two serious and kinda boring chapters, it's nothing but the main meat of the story. I'm making sure to cover most things that will be relevant when (if) I end this fic. Especially if they make it back home.
Also a fun fact: Ashe Lake is a generic anywhere city similar to Springfield in the Simpsons. As the story goes on, Ashe Lake will have basically everything in or near it, even if it isn't realistic. For example, there's a satellite-like city, suburban areas, mixed urban areas, nightlife area, rural areas, mountains, beaches and such, all "close by".
Basically, anything and everything will be within reach as needed because I'm lazy, and after planning out how they got here and back, I just wanted to have fun with the rest of the chapters and not worry about that stuff in the rest of the story. Honestly I only convinced myself to actually work on this fic because of all of the humor ideas I had.
Feel free to leave a review or request something you want to happen in future chapters! I already have about 2 chapters written and a couple of outlines for future chapters, but I can def try to add your suggestions. I'd really appreciate it! Thanks so much for reading! :)