Fallen Man
By: nightwatchman2009
A/N: I was absolutely floored at the end of season 2 of Robin Hood. I couldn't believe it that Guy killed Marian. So, basically I wanted to portray the aftermath of what Guy did…like how he's dealing with it, what his thoughts about it are etc. So, hopefully you'll all enjoy it.
It was hot. Much too hot. Guy lay spread eagle in the sand gasping for breath. Sweat trickled from his brow and down his face. He blinked his dry eyes, which felt gritty from the sand, trying to produce tears. He licked his lips and winced, the wetness stung his cracked lips. He was parched, his mouth was bone dry.
Guy sat up slowly. His leather outfit clung uncomfortably to his body. He looked around; he was surrounded by vast desert, sand stretching for miles with no end in sight. He remembered then that he was in the Holy Land.
Suddenly she appeared. In the distant haze he saw a retreating figure. He realized it was Marian in a pure white dress. Was it just in his mind though? Many a man had fallen victim to mirages in the desert heat only to end up being sorely disappointed. Something told Guy that it was truly her.
"Marian!" he yelled, forcing himself up onto his knees. She kept walking. "Marian!" he stood despite his protesting legs and forced himself into a slow run in the sand.
"Marian!" she kept walking, though finally he was catching up.
"Marian, wait," he caught her by the arm and whirled her around to face him. She was certainly not a mirage.
Her blue eyes met his with an unfamiliar blankness in them, like she was looking at him without really seeing him.
"Marian, come with me, we'll go back to Nottingham together," he said urgently.
"I cannot go with you, Guy," she said, no emotion coloring her voice.
"Why not?" he demanded.
"Have you forgotten so soon?" her eyes dropped down at the same time his did.
Instead of clean white fabric covering her torso, there appeared a gaping bloody wound that went all the way out the other side. Guy's stomach churned, he could see her all her insides, he watched as waves of fresh blood pooled from the wound dripping down her dress staining it crimson.
Guy looked up at her panicked. Her eyes bore into his. "Marian, what happened?"
She stared back at him blankly. "You killed me," she said quietly, before collapsing into the sand, dead, blood still oozing from the wound.
"NOOOOOO!"
--
"NO!"
Guy sat up in bead covered in a cold sweat. He sat, panting, until finally his heart stopped pounding. He ran a hand through his thick hair and wiped the sweat from his brow, trying to keep his hands from shaking uncontrollably.
When would the nightmares stop? Night after night they came in suck stark clarity. The blood, the death, her face going pale. They were never quite the same but each one brought him as much pain as the next. Sometimes he even had pleasant dreams about her. Dreams of marrying her, kissing her, holding her, making love to her…those cut him just as deep as the nightmares. He couldn't decide which was worse: waking up remembering the monstrous thing he'd done or waking up thinking for a brief second that she was still alive…both brought him only agony. It made him want to die.
Suddenly, the words they'd spoken that day and the memories all came back to him unbidden:
She had kept backing deftly away from him, in that same white dress that haunted him. Her dark hair dancing about her shoulders as she dodged his sword. He told her of the power he'd have. He still wanted to marry her, provide for her, and he made all that quite clear.
"I would rather die than be with you, Guy of Gisbourne," she declared as she continued to back away, unaware of just how deep her words cut him. He about wanted to die just hearing her say that.
"No…" he breathed, unwilling to believe what he was hearing.
"I'm going to marry Robin Hood…"
Guy didn't believe it. He refused to believe it.
"I love Robin Hood..." a flicker of a smile crossed her face.
The words were a sharp blow. He didn't want to hear it. All he wanted to do was soundly shake her until she saw sense. Stop, stop saying it, he thought desperately, as if he could somehow command her with his thoughts alone.
Then the words spilled out all over again:
"I love Robin Hood…" she said it again with such certainty…it looked as if she surprised herself by her own conviction.
But she had sent him over the edge. He couldn't bear to hear it anymore… he just had to make her stop…
Before he knew it, he felt his hand send his sword sliding, swiftly and harshly through her stomach. The second after he'd ran her through the startling pain and horror gripped him. He felt the tears coming realizing the magnitude of what he'd just done: he'd slain his love.
The next seconds were a blur. Hood came screaming and the Sheriff was yelling to Guy. The only thing Guy could do was run. So he did. He ran from his terrible deed, Marian's blood still fresh and warm on his hands.
--
Guy covered his eyes with his hands in the darkness as he recalled it all in vivid detail. He had never meant for any of it to happen. He had never wanted to kill her…he'd wanted to kill the words spewing from her mouth. He'd wanted to kill all the feelings she held inside for Hood. To kill that love for Robin Hood and silence it forever. That was all he'd wanted. But instead…he'd killed Marian all together. He had killed the one person in his life that had given a damn about him. The one beacon of light in the darkness of his life. The one person he didn't want to live without. The one and only woman he'd ever loved.
Gone.
"I needed you more than he did!" he yelled bitterly into the night. He had nothing. All he wanted was Marian's love. Was it too much to ask? He needed her much more than Hood ever did.
His eyes pricked as he felt tears threaten to come. His world was in darkness…his days were meaningless. Each day was agony to get through, though he kept up his usual cold exterior, cause God knew that Vasey would pounce all over him if he saw Guy's grief.
He was a murderer. He'd slain her, so innocent, so fair, she didn't deserve it at all. He could still see her so clearly. Her smooth ivory skin…the curves of her body…her soft dark curls…the blush of her cheeks…her lovely blue eyes that had that spark of life.
She had lived her life with such vivacity and boldness…endangering her own life as the Night watchman…all for those less fortunate than her. She was a Good Samaritan. No doubt she was welcomed into Heaven's pearly gates with open arms.
She was the person he could never be. Yet she always believed in him…she had such faith that he could be a good man too and he had utterly failed her…he could never redeem himself now. The fires of Hell would swallow him whole.
He was a fallen man.
And now…now he was her everywhere he went. Even outside his dreams and nightmares he saw her face throughout the day. Even her voice, he could still hear it in his head clear as day. He could find no relief. All he wanted was for it to stop…
"Oh god, just make it stop…make it stop," he whispered, burying his head in his hands as he cried.
--
Hope you guys enjoy it! I personally felt that after killing Marian Guy would try to bottle things up as he always does, so I wrote this one set in the middle of the night. I figured in the middle of the night, when he's by himself he can be free to feel vulnerable, and grieve over what he'd done. So…please review I love any comments or constructive criticism.