Spy tried to break from his swollen heart, but it was difficult.
Pyro had scarred him, in more ways than one. He had this dream that kept popping into his head at the worst of times. When he was trying to fight, when he was trying to focus. All he could do was think of the mumbling idiot and his sweet muffled laugh.
The two of them sharing a hug, or dancing to a cheesy Tom Jones record, maybe even cuddling for hours on end.
It all ached, and it all shook Spy down to his core he so greatly tried to keep hidden. He wasn't a man of expressing so much passion for such a fleeting sort of stupidity as Pyro. But he did, and he felt guilty.
He didn't need Medic or Engineer explaining it to him. He already knew how crazy Pyro was. There was no way someone could have gone through that whole ordeal and been cheery at all. But he knew that Pyro was so sweet. And something had to make him so horribly confused.
But he didn't want to trick Pyro. He had been brutally honest with him. Perhaps, he was the only one who was honest to him. In all his mean banter, his teasing remarks and insults, he was honest about all of it. But he hadn't known what pyro was. Who he was.
But once he knew how sweet and wonderful he was outside everything… He knew that was what Pyro was.
He held his hand to his face in regret. Pyro, for the last week, had tried desperately to find him. Spy was behind every corner, every wall, every door, hearing all the frantic searching for him. He wanted to appear out of nowhere, and see Pyro tackle him into a hug that would've lasted forever. But he couldn't. He knew he had to stay away.
He was the only one that was honest with him.
And if he got any closer, He would tell Pyro the truth.
But he didn't need to see his damsel in distress to know they were suffering.
He would nip this deception at the bud.
He took himself to Pyro's room. He was a silent sheen of smoke that leaked into the doorframe.
The firechild's room was as colorful and vibrant as his drawings, and the breathing lump under the covers and stuffed animals was tempting to touch.
All spy wanted to do was curl up next to Pyro. Just let him wake up to the sound of Pyro's unmuffled yawn and surprise to Spy's soft presence.
He shook off the idea, and snuck into the glorified tiled closet they called the bathroom attached to Pyro's room. He could see clearly see in this pitch-blackness. His tired old eyes were even more comfortable with it.
He flinched when he heard the covers fold, but peered over and smiled as it was just the sleepy merc tossing in a dream. Probably a lot better than this awful lie he lived, Spy thought.
He opened the medicine cabinet to find a multitude of pill bottles.
Suppressants, depressants, tranquilizers, hallucinogens, Everything that fit the bill for Pyro's endless stream of confused endorphins.
Spy carefully filed them into a bag, and left the room quietly, not a single pill rustling under his movements.
He was proud. He slept easy that night, with a sigh of relief guiding him into a peaceful slumber.
But a shrill and course scream ripped him right back out of it.
The whole base was up, he could hear the slap of bare feet against the concrete barracks, all heading down the hallway. Spy pulled on a robe and quickly made his way to the crowd of grown men flooding Pyro's bedroom door. The screaming was frantic, and gasping. Engineer's yelling for Medic's help cutting through, all while trying to soothe the screaming. Nobody but them was allowed inside the bedroom, but Spy made it through the layers of hairy backs and muscle to find the source. The shivering body was curled up on the cold concrete floor, and Medic was trying to find something in the bathroom.
"What happened?!" Spy asked, kneeling down.
Engineer said nothing. But as Spy tried to comfort Pyro with a gentle hand, the texan swatted it away.
"Get outta here." Engineer growled coldly.
Spy's hand retracted.
"NOW!" Engineer barked. Spy backed away slowly.
Medic came to help by covering Pyro's eyes and everyone being told to get out and get ready for the day. They followed instruction, but were fairly shaken by the scream that pried their eyes open that morning.
God, Spy's nerves were an earthquake.
He spilled drips of coffee all over the counter trying to pour, his hands shivering like Pyro's body. As he tried to take a sip of the scolding drink, A large hand covered the lip of the cup and took it away. The screaming had been soothed.
"Pyro is quiet. We talk. Come." Heavy placed the cup inside the scratched steel sink, the others' eyes following them out the door, but soon returning to their breakfast.
Spy pulled out a cigarette to get his fix. God, did he need it.
He fumbled with the lighter, but heavy leaned on the wall, patient for Spy to finish his first puff.
"I know you did this." The large man had crossed his arms sternly.
Spy swallowed.
"I know why you do this. Is good reason." He placed a hand on Spy's shoulder to shot his quakes.
"I… I just wanted him to know the truth…" Spy stuttered.
"He cannot handle truth. Both Doctor and Engineer have told you this."
Spy nodded.
"Truth is good. Truth is painful sometimes. You should know." Heavy knew what he was talking about most of the time.
"How could I stand around and let him be exploited like that?!" Spy was furious, but wished he hadn't had given Pyro this truth.
"You couldn't. If I like Pyro as much as you… I would not keep truth from him."
"...Why did you come to talk to me?" Spy asked, his voice stable, but grave.
"Love is painful, too. Just like truth. You must make decision between your pain and his."
Heavy left the patio, and Spy crushed the cigarette under his shoe.
Later, he left the bag of medication by Pyro's room. Engineer saw him return them. They didn't speak. And nobody bothered Spy for the rest of the day. You could shoot through the tension.
The battle went on, and Pyro was missing from the front. It didn't matter, Spy kept telling himself. It didn't matter. It did NOT matter. It didn't fucking matter.
This was killing him.
The next morning, Pyro seemed right as rain. He was living the lie. All bubbles and sunshine. Spy hadn't slept. His eyes sunken and dark under the mask.
Pyro seemed to brighten as he tried to hand Spy his coffee for the day.
Spy slapped the cup onto the floor, and rose above Pyro.
"Don't touch me. You bratty lunatic." He pushed passed the burnt suit and slammed the door behind him as he readied for the morning battle.
He sat between two rocks and watched as the sun rose above the cloudy hue of day.
He never wanted to speak to Pyro ever again.