I glance at my best friend, tears glistening in my eyes. I hold them back with a gulp. "So that's it then? We're done?" The bitterness could not be contained from my voice. I always messed things up. Always. The worst part is we weren't even together.
A sigh escaped her lips. She was so beautiful, even as the sorrow contorted her face. "We're just too different, Sev. You know that, I know that. It's been a long time coming. You've chosen your path…and well, I've chosen mine. It's better this way." A fat tear rolled down her cheek, and it took all of my willpower not to brush it away. I was no longer entitled to that sort of comfort. She didn't want me.
She didn't want me.
"Can't things be the way they were?" I blurted. I knew it was pointless, stupid. Nothing would ever be the same. I had made too many mistakes, and she had finally had enough. She would probably be comforted by Potter, I thought. That had been my job, and now it was being ripped away from me. I almost reached out and pulled her to me; she belonged with me. I love her.
She turned toward me and my dark eyes met her green ones. I begged her silently not to go, but she just gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head. "Goodnight, Severus."
I watched as my life, my love walked away. I was helpless. Finally, the darkness swallowed her up, and she was gone.
I choked out a sob and stared at the uncaring night sky. I fell to my knees and screamed and sobbed and yelled. How could this have happened? How could I have let this happen?
I gasped as I woke up. I was covered in a cold sweat, yet my face was hot with the salty tears that had been running down my face in my subconscious state. After all these years, I still dreamt of her.
"Lily…" I breathed, sorrow and despair gripping my mind. She would never leave me. The dreams were a constant reminder. A reminder of my failed chances. She's gone now. She's gone.