This is my tribute to a holiday that we should all get to celebrate with Ranger. I do not own JE's characters. I just like to play with them. Thanks for reading!
I woke up in a great mood today and without any complaints. Today was going to be great! I had been preparing for this day all week and the weather had cooperated. I had bought food, beverages, and new dvds. For the past four weeks, I had worked out extra sessions in the gym and the results could be seen.
I bought new music to listen to and I bought new blinds and curtains. I had even caught a good sale at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I had my hair done and had a manicure and a pedicure. There may have been some waxing done, but that is my private business.
I was ready. Now, all I had to do was to make this one phone call. I steeled myself and I dialed speed dial #1. I got his voicemail which was awesome, so I left a message.
"Hello, Batman. This is me. I am not coming to work today because it is a holiday and I am celebrating. The good news is that nothing should happen to the Explorer that you made me drive. I am fine and no one is forcing me to make this call."
I lowered my voice and looked around. "To prove it, your mother used to call you her wiggle worm. You told me that when you were really tired one night and you made me promise not to tell anyone else. Have a good day and I will see you tomorrow. Hopefully."
Whew! I hung up and forwarded all of my calls to my home phone, and I turned on my answering machine. I had changed my message to reflect my holiday.
"Hello, this is Stephanie Plum and you have reached my phone and I am not available right now. Please leave a detailed message and I will get back to you as soon as possible. If this is an emergency, please contact my employer at Rangeman, Inc. Have a good day!"
This was going to drive Ranger nuts, but people were afraid of him and they would think twice about bugging him. Now, it was the moment of truth. I had even had Dillon place new locks on my door with a floor bolt. I was taking this holiday seriously. I got situated in my new recliner with a tray of snacks and my remote and settled in to watch Clueless, Hitch, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
I took a bathroom break while Cher was at the college party and ignored my blinking answering machine. I would check it later. I decided that I wanted another grapefruit smoothie when the driving scene was over, so I got up again. Ella had made me like these smoothies and I refuse to accept that they are healthy.
I looked at my phone again. Now my answering machine light was blinking even faster. That's nice. I relaxed and danced around to Yeah and laughed at Will Smith teach the male lead how to dance. What woman would not want Will Smith?
I sprawled out on my chair and started my third movie while I ate this delicious grilled chicken salad that Ella taught me how to make. I ignored the green parts and focused on the chicken. There was banging on my door and a lot of jiggling of the doorknob.
Can't people just let me have a day to myself? I walk over to the door and take my huge Kung Fu Panda stuffed animal with me. I look through the peephole and see Morelli. Buzz! I am NOT answering the door for him. I return to my movie, but I paused it to listen to some of my messages.
Beep! "Stephanie, it's your mother. I heard from Belinda Falconi who heard it from Rose Kuntz who heard it from Mrs. Brestler that you did not leave your apartment today and your car is still in the parking lot. What do you mean I should contact that Range person? Why are you still at home? Are you kidnapped? Mrs. Spinelli's daughter doesn't get kidnapped and refuse to go to work. Mrs. Lowenski's daughter—"
I deleted that message. She never even said what she wanted. I was going to have a talk with Mrs. Brestler. The next four messages were from my mother and I did not listen to them. She was such a control freak.
The next message was Ranger. Beep! "Babe, I told you that in confidence."
So he got my message. That was good. I scrolled through the rest of the messages.
Beep! "White Girl, where the hell are you at? I am hungry and you usually bring something for a sister to snack on. Hurry up and get your skinny ass in to the office!"
I deleted that message, too. When were Connie and Lula going to realize that I no longer worked there? It has been two months now.
The next message gets deleted because it is Morelli.
Beep! "Cupcake, your mother keeps calling me. I am going to come and check on you at lunchtime. Call me back. You know the boys miss you, Cupcake."
Ew. The boys could miss me all they wanted. Ever since I caught him with Ramona White having a little private playtime two months ago, I have stopped having playdates or any kind of dates with Joe Morelli. He knew I wanted nothing else to do with him.
Beep! "Babe, paybacks are a bitch."
Wow. He sounded scary. I decided to leave the rest of the messages alone and get back to my movie. I had fat free vanilla yogurt with granola on top as I watched Fame. I was singing and dancing along to Red Light and watching Leroy do his audition when my locks tumbled. What? I grabbed my extra-large panda and my gun and stood with my back to the wall.
Ranger calmly walked into the room and locked the door again. How did he do that? Does he really have magic fingers? He looked at me menacingly and gave me the raised eyebrow.
"Why, Babe?" I sighed and the bear drooped a little, making Ranger's eyes darken.
"I wanted to celebrate International Naked Day, Ranger. I knew that if I asked the guys to celebrate with me, it would be like sexual harassment and I do NOT want to sit through one of those seminars again."
He advances towards me and I slide against the wall towards the bedroom. He laughs at me.
"Babe. You made Manny and Cal cry. Your mother would not stop calling. We had to block her number. She was hysterical and she made me promise to come and check on you because Morelli could not get inside. She thinks that you are afraid of me."
I sigh. "Sorry, Ranger. Well, you see that I am fine, so you can call her and you can leave. I have Save the Last Dance next and I have peanut butter frozen yogurt. Thanks for stopping by."
I walked over to him and grabbed him by the arm and tried to lead him to the door, but he did not budge. Instead, he knocked the stuffed animal to the floor and kissed me. It felt like the earth was moving, and when I pulled back, we were in my bedroom. I looked at him and he was stripping.
"What are you doing, Ranger?" He grinned a sexy grin at me and pulled me flush with his body and wowser!
Ranger kissed my neck gently and nibbled on that spot behind my ear. Oh, yeah. He stopped and looked towards my bedroom door. There was some miscellaneous banging on my front door.
"Babe, I am going to celebrate the holiday with you. I had to get here before the guys. They all begged to come and check on you."
The banging continued and Ranger's phone rang. He glared at the phone. My phone started ringing again, but I was a pro at ignoring it by now.
"Really?"
I reached for him again. I was enjoying those kisses. The banging was getting louder. Any minute now, my door was going to break.
He growled and held up a finger to me and stepped away from me. Ranger made a brief call and said some words that sounded like crate, desert, and kill. He turned back to me after he put his phone on the nightstand.
"Yeah, Babe. I missed you today and all of the calls did not help. Now stay right there. I will be right back. I am getting the frozen yogurt and you will be my dessert."
I watched him walk out of my bedroom just as naked as I had been all day. I had a whole body shudder. That sounded like a threat and a promise at the same time. Either way, I was thrilled. Happy International Naked Day to me!
