Peter Pan: told the way it should be told.

A/N: written at 5 am out of pure boredom, so excuse any typos, omisions, etc. Review?

Summary of this Chapter: This is the story about a young little girl named Wendy. She likes to 'play' with her brothers and make up filthy, but positively arousing stories. She was sexually repressed by her parents ever since her aunt pointed out that she is already sexually attractive at the young tender age of around 13. To rebel against the repressiveness, Wendy decides to make up a boy that comes to whisk her away on a special adventure… And alas, her dream has come true!! Who would have thought.

Wendy: Oh, I'm a girl, but I have some Freudian complexes so I pretend to be a boy by… 'playing' with my brothers.

John: [Irish accent] my god! It's Harry Potter! [normal voice] Ok, maybe not. Look like him though.

Voyeuristic boy: I have issues beyond comprehensibility of you mortals! –flies away to 'play' with the boys-

Dog: I'm far too smart for my species.

Mr. Darling: How I got this hot a wife, I'll never understand… I'm just too sexually repressed to understand that. Maybe she's cheating on me.

Aunt: why am I related to these people? Oh yes. The inheritance. Ok, then, I shall put on a happy face and pretend I'm enjoying this. Oh my! Pirates! How precious. Just go marry someone, Wendy my darling.

Wendy: But why? I can just 'play' with my brothers all the time!

Aunt: turn around so I can see your… behind area, but claim to appraise your chin.

Mr. Darling: My Wendy. A woman. Should I begin the illogical Freudian complexions now, or later?

Aunt: I wanna play with Wendy, so I think you shall let me.

Mr. Darling: I need to 'play' with my superiors at the bank to compensate for my lack of 'playing' at home… so my kids could 'play' better. It all makes perfect sense!

Voyeuristic boy: Oh pretty… lips… swollen… luscious… Hmm, I wonder if hover here long enough, if she'll eventually wake up…

Wendy: a boy! Shall I panic? Or pull him down and make sweet love to him all night? Or… Wait, never mind, he's gone. Let me express my dreams and desires for that boy in a situation where I'll get caught and eventually get spanked by my dear daddy!

Mr. Darling: Well, I'll spank the dog instead! There's reverse psychology for you! Muahahaha!

Mrs. Darling: Your father is more important to me then you children, so I am going to go to the party with him rather then stay here with you, like a loving mother should. Hmm, it must be that thing with his tongue that he does.

Wendy: Aww shucks. Well, to avoid growing up, I'll imagine a boy to come take me away on an adventure where we call all have lots and lots of fun! –Voyeuristic boy appears- Well, that was fast!

Voyeuristic boy: I'm Peter! I'm probably a figment of your imagination, but I still want to play with you all day (and night) long in my SPECIAL place! Only you!!

Light: BZZ.

Peter: Well, I mean… you and me. And Tink. And the Lost boys. So you can bring your brothers if you really want to.

Wendy: Sounds like an orgy to me!! First, let me sew this shadow on first though. Don't know why you want it, but I'd do anything to please you. Tell me about Tink.

Peter: She's French and she's naked in half of her movies.

Wendy: Wonderful. I'm glad I'm going in the right kind of crowd.

Peter: Now let me take credit for all your hard work, ruining the work of many other wonderful ladies (who are lesbians by stereotype… or common assumption), feminists had done over the ages.

Wendy: Like I care. Now, take me away, SHADOW BOY! Wait, and my brothers too.

TBC