Disclaimer: I do not own this characters.
A/NOOC. Vague. Inconclusive.
It's dark. I know I shouldn't be following him, but... I just can't help it. He's my brother and he shouldn't have to be alone. He and my dad were at it again tonight. Screaming and yelling about nothing. Well, in my mind it's nothing. Things like work and money and late night partying. Yeah. Things that don't matter. He stormed out as always. Dad stood there yelling long after he had gone. I stood at my door, listening to him scream at no one. I waited for him to go to his room then grabbed my trench and headed out. I know where he is. It's the same place everytime. I'm not really sure why he goes there, but he does.
To the playground. He's sitting on the swings. His face is buried into his hands. I think he's crying, but...He never cries. I stand there, watching him from the a lonely streetlamp. He hasn't notice me yet. He drags his hand roughly across his tear stained face. Looking up at the sky, the stars, he takes a deep breath. I begin to walk over. The fallen leaves crunch lightly under my dirty, red Chuck Taylors. Finally, I'm here, standing next to him. Does he notice me yet? I look down at him. All I can see is the top of his head and he makes no sign of acknowledgement. I should probably leave now. I know where he is. I know that he is okay. How can he not know I'm here? Right next to him. Always next to him. Waiting for him to notice me...Notice how I feel about him.
And as I'm turning away, I feel a hand suddenly on my wrist. I turn back and he's looking up at me. His eyes are red from tears. He looks uncertain. His hand clutches at my wrist. He keeps his eyes on me. I turn fully around and let him take my hand. He laces his fingers with mine and stands. He's slightly taller than me. He looks down at me and now I am uncertain. Am I ever sure? ...Yes. In one thing.
"I'm sorry." I blurt out, my voice low and strained.
He raises his other hand and places it against my cheek, stroking with his thumb. It seems as if he is searching my face for something. My eyes...My lips... I don't know what he wants. I don't know what he's looking for. And he speaks...
"I...Don't...I don't know how to say..." He pauses.
I look up at him. He wants to say something. He's trying to say something to me.
"You...You don't know how to say what?"
He gives me a small smile and looks up. I look up as well. The sky is dark. The stars are endless throughout the sky.
"The stars are beautiful...Like you."
My eyes widened and I look at him. He is still captivated by these beautiful stars. He speaks again.
"It's taken me a long time to realize what I wanted to say. That you're beautiful. You are...The most beautiful person I've ever seen or would hope to see. We've been together our whole lives and it has taken me this long. This long...To say that I love you." He said. The last part seeming to last an eternity. I couldn't speak. He went on. "I've loved you all this time. I've been in love with you all this time. Everything else seems to all be trash. It's hopeless. I don't have anything...But you. To look at you makes it all worthwhile. To watch you especially when you think no one is watching. To see you sleeping and watch your soft, red hair brushing my fingers."
I find myself blushing at his words. No one has ever spoken to me this way, let alone about me.
"I know that you could never feel the same way about me, but I needed to tell you. I needed to tell you that you are my peace. The one thing that keeps me here." He leans down then and lays a soft, chaste kiss at my lips. He turns as if to leave and I stop him. I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head against his back. "How?"
"I'm sor-"
"How could you think that I could never love you?" I said, burying my head into his back. "It has taken me a long time as well to say this. To put into words how I really feel about you...My love. I love you like no one has ever loved another...Like no one should. But I want to love you...In the most desperate of ways...In the passionate of ways...Until I burn up from it...Until I'm spent and found not wanting." I clutch him in my arms and he turns me around. Looking down at me, his eyes are watering and I think mine are too. He kisses me. And I am on fire.