Note: Alfonse is in his human body
Al: Really? SUH-WEET! *jumps out of armor*
Me: HOLY CRAP! You were in there the whole time?
Al: Yeah
Me: Oh, well don't get too excited. I'm having you do things you'll hate me for.
Al: Like what?
Me: You'll see *evil Envy grin*
"No," I said sternly.
"Please, Ed. Just do it. It's for your own good." Winry replied.
"No, I refuse to force that stuff down my throat! I simply won't have it!" I crossed my arms.
"Come on, Brother. Please? Just drink it the milk!" Al pleaded.
I stared at the milk intently as if it would just disappear under my hateful gaze. It didn't work, as always. Damn.
I shook my head. "No, you can't make me!" I pushed it away distastefully.
"Stubborn little shit to the end." Pinako added under her breath.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE MAKES AN ANT LOOK TALL?" I screamed back.
"Enough!" Al piped in. "If you won't drink it, I will." He reached for the glass.
An odd thought crossed my mind. Hm, I'd like to have some fun with this one. Let's see what Granny has behind those cupboards…
Just as Al put the bottle to his lips, I snatched it away from him. "No, I'll drink it." Gasps arose and murmurs of anticipation filled the room. "But," I set the milk down and started sifting through the cupboards. "I'm going to make it taste a bit better. Ah, here we are!" I said and pulled out a bottle of brandy from Pinako's stash.
"You gonna spike it?" Winry asked alarmed.
"Among other things…" I said deviously. I reached and pulled out a bottle of hot sauce, some mustard, sprinkles, vegetable oil (That'll make it slither down your throat!), salt, pepper and maple syrup. I added these to the milk along with the brandy. It made up a beautiful concoction fit for an evil scientist, namely me. And to top it all off? A bit of whipped cream.
"Are you really going to drink that?" Al asked, reaching for the camera.
"No, you are." I said simply.
He put the camera down. "WHAT? You expect me to drink THAT?" Al looked absolutely horrified. Perfect.
"Not willingly, no. But you did agree to it." I held out the mixture. It gurgled and bubbles rose. Must be a chemical reaction. Poor Al.
"No I didn't! I never agreed to anything!" His face grew pale and his hands clammy.
Oh, but you did. You said, and I quote: 'If you're not going to drink it, I will.'" My hand was still output, holding my creation.
"Bu-But!" He protested.
"And I'm certainly not going to drink it. So, bottoms up!"
Two weeks later…
Al was finally released from the hospital with only minor damage to his throat and stomach lining.
Me: Haha, classic.
Al: I hate you.
Me: I told you so!
Al: Shut up.
Ed: *Rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off* I love you! *Laughs some more*
Me: Hope you liked the story! It was my first one shot so be nice in reviews but don't be scared to leave some criticism, too.
-Mortichai