Sleeping Harley
It was a cold, dark night in Gotham. But in Poison Ivy's greenhouse, you wouldn't be able to tell. The lush exotic plants which covered the room gave it tropical warmth, scenting the air with a delicious perfume from dozens of rare flowers. In the middle of it, Pamela Isley, the infamous plant controlling Poison Ivy, bathed in a warm bath embedded amongst the foliage, being pampered and primped by her beloved plants. Vines move sinuously across her back, massaging and cleansing her with conveniently placed bristles, whilst flowers draped overhead, providing convenient cleansing extracts and gently drifting petals that settled into the water. It was calm, relaxing, sere…"HAH! TAKE THAT YOU STUPID N00B!" Pamela's eyes snapped open as a familiar, loved, yet annoying voice drifted through the open door to the greenhouse. Her peace disturbed, Ivy sighed and commanded her vines to lift her out of the bath. Gently alighting to the grass carpeted floor, Ivy strode across the greenhouse, remembering to grab a towel provided by a helpful tree branch.
Pursing her lips and wrapping the towel around her, Ivy strode into the living room to find a cute, black and red pyjama clad blonde bouncing up and down on the sofa. Harley Quinn was wearing a headset, and her attention was on the recently purchased (perfectly legally for once) large screen television attached to her video game console. Engrossed in the action on screen and eagerly mashing buttons, Harley was providing an unwelcome running commentary of taunts, whining and sound effects.
"TAKE THAT, YA MUG! DAKKADAKKADAKKA! BOOM! HAhahahaa….aww man, NO FAIR! Only scrubs use shotguns!"
Ivy stood in the living room for a few minutes with an impatient frown on her face, as Harley continued her tirade. Finally, Ivy cleared her throat loudly with no effect.
Stalking over to the couch, she yanked off Harley's headphones and yelled "HARLEY!" directly into her ears. Harley fell to the floor in a tangle before deftly righting herself. "Geez Red, no need to be so loud!" "Loud?" Ivy snorted "I could hear you all the way out in my greenhouse! Could you at least play quietly, or maybe just got to bed? I'm trying to relax for a change!" "Nu uh", said Harley, now bouncing around the room. "I'm too wound up now. Besides, video games are fun! I've been playing them so much that I haven't had time to think about Mister…Mister J…" Harley's face faltered and Ivy groaned inwardly. Dammit! So long without bringing up that damned clown! "Mister J! Oh man, I wonder how he is. Do you think he's still in Arkham? Maybe he's broken out already? Oh I hope he's broken out already…"
"Harley"
"…but if he has then why hasn't contacted me? Maybe I upset him or something? Maybe I should get him a present, something to show my appreciation!"
"Harley!"
"…like a Robin! He likes Robins! Those bat brats, not the birds, he hates the birds, says that's Penguin's shtick not his…."
Frustrated, Ivy quietly told one of her special plants to extend a flower bearing tendril into the room. Most people would be knocked out straight away by the scent it was pouring into the room, but not Harley.
"…ooh, so if maybe I get him a robin he'd…actually…be nice to me for…a change…"
The flower finally having an effect on her enhanced physique, Harley paused in her frantic babble and yawned a little. "Man! I feel beat all of a sudden. Wonder why?"
"You probably wound yourself up a little," said Ivy soothingly, putting a gentle hand on Harley's shoulder. "Let's get you to bed, cupcake." "Oh! Erm, I'm REALLY tired, Red, soo…" Ivy smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "I meant yours, sweetie. I think it's time both of us had an early night." "Aww, okay" By this point, Harley was having trouble staying up. Whoops, thought Ivy to herself, I may have gone a little overboard with the knock out scent there. She gently, and without protestation, picked her beautiful blonde roommate up and carried her to her room, laying her gently on her doll covered bed. Satisfied that both of them were now going to get a night's peace, Ivy turned to leave.
"Hey, Red," said Harley, her voice heavy with sleep "was there ever someone who, despite everything, you loved them so much that it hurt inside?" Ivy, glad Harley could not see her face, paused at the door. "No" she lied "Never." "Lucky you" Harley mumbled, drifting off to sleep. Ivy looked back her little blonde harlequin…and then noticed the purple suited doll with a white face and stupid grin that she was gently clutching. That clown! Ivy's eyes narrowed. It was bad enough that Harley talked about him all the damn time without there being reminders of him in their house. Waiting a few moments to check that Harley was fully asleep, Ivy crept back into the room and gently teased the doll out of her hands. There was a little bit of resistance, but Ivy managed to swap it for a random doll from the pile that she didn't look too closely at. Satisfied, Ivy was about to leave when she noticed a cupboard with a purple heart on the door. Suspicious, she strode over to it, pulled it open…and was promptly covered in a mini avalanche of Joker dolls. Ivy froze as Harley turned in her sleep, and relaxed as she drifted back off. Gritting her teeth, Ivy picked up everything single stupid grinning doll, and strode out of the room, carefully closing the door behind her. She marched down to the pens, where Harley's vicious but beloved Hyenas were kept. "Here", said Ivy to the slobbering scavengers, dumping the whole bunch into the pen "make yourselves useful and take care of your former 'master'". As Ivy went to bed, the Hyenas gladly obliged. Finally able to get some sleep, Ivy shrugged off her towel and nestled into her flower bed, a slight smile still playing around her lips.
Sunlight gently crept into Harley's room, and she woke stretching, feeling refreshed, with the remnants of a half remembered dream floating in her mind. Harley shrugged and went down to the pens to feed her beloved Hyenas.
"AWWWW NUTSS!"
Ivy awoke with a start and ran down to the pens, trying not to look too guilty as she reached Harley cradling some pathetic scraps "What is it, what's wrong?" Tearfully, Harley showed Ivy the broken remains of her beloved dolls. "My babies must have snuck in and gotten at my Mr J collection! They musta missed him so much that they wanted something to remember him by! But the must have gotten too excited playing with him." Ivy wasn't good with animals, but as far she could tell the Hyenas only regret was that it wasn't the REAL Joker they'd torn to shreds. Harley brightened up. "Oh well, I could always make some more…you know….if I wanted. Besides!" She scampered off cheerfully, bouncing into her room "This way I have more space!"
"Space?" Ivy said, confused. "Space for what?" "You and me of course!" Harley took the doll Ivy had given her last night, which she now recognised as herself, and put it next to a Harley doll in the newly clear cupboard. Harley put the two dolls together, clasped their hands and stood back beaming. "There, perfect!" Ivy tried to hide the pleased look on her face as Harley leant against her. The mood was swiftly broken as Harley grabbed Ivy's hand and dragged her into the living room. "Ooh, I found this great game you'd love Pam! It's called plants versus zombies!" Sighing to herself, Ivy let herself be dragged along, while the two dolls gently slumped together, the closet door wide open.