TROLLING THE SHINIGAMI REALM

'Cuz sometimes it's fun to be a troll, you know?

CHAPTER ONE: FOURTH WALL

My partner-in-crime is scared to death of strawberry lemonade.

Well, sure, yeah, she almost drowned in it (if you can believe her story, of course – she actually claims that she almost drowned twice), and it was kinda my fault, so, unfortunately, I haven't seen a glass of good old strawberry lemonade, my favorite drink to troll with (partly because I drowned an alternate reality in a fuckload of it), in almost a year.

I'm angry about that, but I guess I did maul her garden portrait and spelled 'GOT PENIS?' below it, and I happened to make her an orphan because of the lemonade (if you can believe her…), and I allegedly almost drowned her twice, and I set up a porn show for her (she never got to watch it)…

Yeah, yeah. I know. She's only twelve now, and I'm a guy four years older than her. Our interests are… slightly different.

Anyway.

I'm Ted. Ted the Troll King.

And then there's my partner.

Coraline.

We are the Troll Clan.

We get along surprisingly well, because she likes finding places, and I like destroying places!

Currently, we're on our way to our next big gig. I mean, over time, yeah, it's gotten a bit boring, you know, sitting in a yellow life raft with a girl who hates you, teleporting through space and time in complete silence?

It gets really boring.

While we've been locked in this time-tunnel or whatever-the-fuck-it-is (We could just troll the universe, but the universe gets pissed off very easily when you fuck with physics), we haven't really done much of anything.

I've picked up breakdancing, I guess, you know, the version of breakdancing where you sit on your ass and don't spin, and Coraline… well, the reason she's not entertaining the fucking readers (Fuck you all, by the way) is because she's decided that she's a real fucking heavy sleeper. Either that, or she's just pretending to be asleep and fucking ignoring me.

I'm not sure which scenario I'm more pissed off by.

Either way, I think we're getting close to wherever-the-hell we're supposed to be going. Wasn't my idea.

Yeah, I think we are getting closer.

You bored yet?

I told her we should have trolled that castle, but no… she has to go off and listen to the author's friends!

Fuck the author, too. Why the fuck do we have to fucking troll a fucking desert?

Wait, wait… the tunnel isn't spinning anymore!

Yay! We're going to finally get out of this shit!

The raft finally flies through the wall of the psychedelic tunnel, into a barren desert filled with monsters that look like multicolored skeletons that rolled in muddy rags.

My kind of place.

(A/N): Most of this chapter was actually written before the trolled fandom was decided on.

And the winner, most obviously, was Death Note, with the Shinigami Realm!

Yay!

By the way, for those of you who voted for Oz on the poll, the reason I picked the Shinigami Realm is because I already had a greater number of ideas for it, and that I have no idea who picked that, while the Shinigami Realm was 'picked' by a friend of mine (she thought it would be awesome), and was talked about between me and Jones Tereka Seasight.

So, there's my explanation.

If you're disappointed, don't worry – chances are likely that the spacetime continuum will be disrupted. AKA, they say 'Fuck rules!' and troll the universe anyway.

There actually is a likely chance, thus, that the third book (Oz) will take place before the second (Shinigami Realm).