Just a funny one-shot idea I had a few weeks ago, enjoy!
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Gumi's Day Off
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The sun was shining bright, the birds were chirping, and Megpoid Gumi had just bought the sequel to her favorite sci-fi romance novel. Today was her day off, and she had every intention of making the best of it. No work, no song recordings for her budding self-produced music career, and no classes.
She stopped off at a quiet little coffee shop and bought a light cappuccino for herself. Next was the grocery store for a package of carrots, her favorite.
With all of her items squared away, it was back to the apartment complex she shared with her many friends. It was a large building, housing her and dozens of others. The front facade was of brick which gave the place an old, rustic look. This was probably just as well, considering it was a complete dump. She would move everyone into a huge mansion once she became rich and famous, she decided. Unfortunately the only person in the building capable of going that far was Miku Hatsune, and she was too much of an airhead to ever make it in the big leagues.
With a resounding sigh, she opened her car door and walked the two flights of rickety stairs up to her small apartment. She fiddled with her keys for a moment, wondering how on earth she managed to accumulate so many. Perhaps she mugged a janitor while sleepwalking or something.
"Hey! Gumi! Do you have a second? I need a hand." It was Miku Hatsune, trying to fit what looked like a massive leek-thing through her door.
Gumi sighed for the millionth time. "Can't you get your boyfriend to help you or something?"
"Kaito broke up with me like, a month ago, don't you remember?"
"Oh, sorry. What about Mikuo? Doesn't he have the biggest crush on you?"
Miku cocked her head to the side. "He does? That's news to me!"
If ever there was a time to facepalm, Gumi decided it was now. "How the hell did you miss that? He's been hitting on you for weeks!"
"Oh... well I guess I'll go get him then!" Miku ran down the hall toward his apartment, her ever flowing teal pigtails trailing right behind her.
"Baka..." Gumi muttered under breath. After closing her door, she set down her bags on the kitchen counter and turned on a few lights. Immediately, three roaches scurried across the floor.
"Ah, home." she said with a decidedly sour tone. She did her best to keep the place clean, but her roommate was a total pig.
"Neru, dammit! Last night was your dish night! Why the hell are the dishes NOT DONE!" Gumi yelled.
A voice rang out from the other bedroom. "What are you, my mother? I'll get to 'em!"
Gumi pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "I swear, if i continue on like this, i'm gonna wind up as a drunk like Meiko..." She gave up on the argument and retreated to her bedroom. The only thing keeping her from losing it was the carrots which she happily began munching on. Attempting to put everything aside, she pulled out her book. Immediately there was a knock on her door.
"Yo, I'm goin' out. Catch ya later." Neru sounded as bitchy as always, but her departure was always welcome. As soon as the door shut, Gumi practically squeed with joy. She was finally alone, able to read in peace.
Not five minutes after that thought, someone knocked on the door to the apartment.
"Oh, who the hell could it be now!" Gumi yelled, not caring who or what was on the other side of the door. A young blonde girl, Rin Kagamine, stood (a little frightened) in Gumi's doorway. The demonic expression she wore probably didn't do much to ease Rin's nerves.
"Um, I'm sorry to bother you Gumi, but you're the only one who could help... I knocked on your cousin Gakupo's door, but he didn't answer. I know Luka was in there and I heard a lot of squeaking sounds, like rusty bedsprings. I wonder what those two were doing now that I think about it... anyways Miku and Kaito both aren't home. Len, well, his head is stuck in the toilet again."
Gumi burst out laughing. Firstly because of Rin's oblivious innocence, and secondly because of the obvious. "Alright, I'll help, but only because I haveto see this." Gumi paused for a moment. "Wait, did you say again?"
Rin giggled. "Yeah, this is the third time."
"How on earth does this happen once, let alone three times?"
"Len ate one of my oranges, so I shoved his head in the toilet. It doesn't usually get stuck..."
Gumi paled a little. So much for Rin being an innocent little girl. "Um... ya know, I think Lily over in apartment 4C would be able to help you, I just remembered I have to, uh, you know, clean the gutters! Yeah, that's it. Sorry Rin."
"But the landlord cleans the gutters."
Damn, Gumi didn't count on Rin knowing that. "No no, not those gutters, my indoor gutters for my, um, science experiment." Gumi was known to be a total science geek, always inventing crazy new stuff that either worked very well, or nearly killed someone. She hoped Rin would buy the crap story and go away.
"Oh cool! What are you experimenting for?"
"Damn it all, this little bastard is relentless!" Gumi thought to herself. "Alright Rin, its secret so I can't tell you. Now go on."
"Ok! See you later Gumi!" as soon as Rin ran down the adjacent hallway, Gumi shut the door and locked all six locks.
"That little demon is definitely as terrifying as Miku says she is..." With her final distraction out of the way, she quickly sat down and opened her book. Five minutes later, her phone buzzed. Gumi opened it; it was a text message from Lily Masuda.
"You are such an ass."
-xXBlondeFury
Gumi just smiled and texted back.
"That's what you get for stealing my goggles last week. Have fun fishing that little brat out of the toilet! :)"
-XCarrotloverX
Satisfied with her wordy "fuck you", she hit send and set her phone on silent. Suddenly there was another knock on her door.
"Oh, fucking what now!" Gumi thought.
She opened her door after disengaging the six locks. There stood a half-naked brunette with a bottle of sake in each hand. Right behind her was a white haired girl, also half-naked, also holding two bottles of sake. Both were obviously extremely drunk.
"Heeeey there Gumish, wanna hit the ol' Crypton bar down the road? I hear theres shum cute boys in there."
Gumi facepalmed. She wasn't even old enough to drink, they just wanted a designated driver so they could drink more. "Listen guys, you're both piss drunk. Go home home."
"Nah way! We're Meiko and Haku, dammit! We drink till we can't feel feelin's any more!" Meiko fell flat on her face, followed by Haku. Both lay directly in Gumi's doorway.
"Fuck... why does this shit have to happen today!"
Gumi dragged both drunks into her living room and laid them on the floor. She grabbed a small cup and filled it with ice cold water.
"If this doesn't wake 'em up, I'll call an ambulance." she threw the water at the girls faces.
"WAHHHHH!" both woke up immediately, and looked pissed.
"What the wush dat for?" Meiko demanded.
"Get out of here, you're wasted an I'm trying to relax." Gumi was starting to lose it a little.
"Alright, alright, we'll get goin', shee ya later, bish..." Meiko and Haku stimbled out of her door.
"I swear to God, the next person that-" The doorbell rang.
"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT!" Gumi stormed over to the door a flung it open, nearly tearing it off its hinges.
It was Kaito Shion, one of the older residents of the apartment complex. "Hey, uh, I was just wondering if you could give me a hand with-" Gumi lost it.
With a completely pissed look on her face, she mentally lined up her shot. The next five seconds were a bit of a blur, but Kaito ended up on the floor unconscious and Gumi had a tooth in her hand that didn't quite belong to her.
"I JUST WANTED ONE DAMN DAY OFF. BUT NO, SOMEONE ALWAYS HAS A FUCKING PROBLEM THAT GUMI NEEDS TO HELP WITH!" That was it, all the stress had built up and she finally snapped.
She had a bright idea all of the sudden. She took out some cardboard, a plastic bag, a marker, some tape, and that tooth.
After five minutes of diligent work, her little project was done. A small sign that read "DISTURB ME AND YOU WILL LOSE MORE THAN A TOOTH." the little tooth was in a plastic bag taped to the front. Gumi put the sign on her door and went back to reading.
No one bothered her after that. Well, that and the fact that she rigged everyone's but her own air conditioning systems to go haywire. It was the middle of Summer of course...
-END-
Hope you guys liked it! I have plenty more stories, check 'em out if you'd like :)