Two Headed Freaks
Once upon a time, CatDog were out fishing at the "Near To Nearburg Lake". Cat was patiently waiting for one of the fishies to bite, while dog was grumbling about how he wanted to go see the monster truck rally in FarBurg.
"C'mon, Cat? Can't we go? Please, pretty please? The fish don't wanna bite today, so we can go tomorrow! Or the next day... or the next day... or the next day... or... some other day," said Dog.
"Dog, you already got to do what you wanted last weekend, and this weekend is my turn! You can go to your monster truck rally some other time, but it's MY time, and I want to go fishing... which is what we're already doing." replied Cat, smartly.
Dog sighed, and reeled in his fishing pole. He gave it to Cat, saying he didn't want to fish right now. Dog then, got out one of his comic books. He WAS going to listen to his new CD of the new rock band, "Seagull Blasters" (which is a band of tough Norwegian Forest cats, who seem to really hate seagulls), but Cat forbade him to bring it along, as it may scare the fishes, even if Dog had headphones.
"Ooo, look at this, Cat!" Dog said excitedly, trying to get Cat to look at the comic book.
"What?" asked Cat, who didn't take his eyes off the water just yet.
"It says, that whoever goes fishing on the 3rd Wednesday of March, shall turn into an amphibian!"
"AND?"
"And.... isn't it the third Wednesday of March today?"
"Yes it is, but please, Dog! We are not going to turn into amphibians! It's just ridiculous, okay? So just continue reading, SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILENTLY."
"Okay... but Cat! We have to go!"
"Dog, if this is an excuse to go to the monster truck rally, I'm not buying it."
"But-"
"DOG! Remember that other time you forced me to believe something you read in a comic book? HMMMMMMM?"
"I... I think so.."
"And were those grannies aliens?"
"No."
"Exactly. Now get back to being quiet."
"Yes, Cat."
"Good. Thank you, Dog." after that brief discussion, Cat went back to his fishing, as Dog was shivering with fright. He did not want to be an amphibian! However, even though Dog's brain was slightly underdeveloped, he knew that he wasn't fishing, so it would only be Cat who would turn into an amphibian. But then again, they both shared the same body, so Dog could be considered fishing as well, and so, with all that in mind, poor Dog could not think straight. He whacked himself with his paw, as if that would seem to make him think better, even though it doesn't really affect anything, except for the fact that it makes your head hurt even more.
"Dog, don't smack yourself," said Cat, who even though wasn't looking back at Dog, he knew what was going on, for they kind of shared their nervous system.
A few more moments passed, when all of a sudden, a big frog leaped up out of the water!
"RIBET!!!" it shrieked at the top of its lungs. "RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!" was its mighty cry, and it leaped up on Cat's face!
"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Cat yelled, trying to reach for the frog, but it kept jumping, and plus it was too slippery.
It took Dog a moment for the information to reach his brain, and for him to realize what was going on, and he lunged for the frog, growling and barking at it. If you were to translate his barking to English, it would sound something like this:
"WOOF! MY UNCLE'S A DOG! I LIKE MUFFINS! I HATE YARN!! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! I LIKE PIE! PARROTS ARE BIRDS! MEOW! YOU'RE GREEN! I'M NOT GREEN! I DON'T LIKE TO WASH THE DISHES! THE TOADS WERE GIVING ME A RASH! YOU DON'T LIKE CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE?!!! PURPLE!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!!!" and other random crap like that.
Finally, the frog bit Cat's arm and Dog's nose, and it jumped back in the water, ribeting some insults at them, which sounded like this:
"RIBET, RIBET, RIBET, RIBET, RIBET, RIBET, RIBET, RIBET!!!!!!!!"
and stuff that you could only understand if you spoke Frog, which I don't know, so I can't translate it for you :(
CatDog took a moment to catch their breath, before Dog spoke:
"Cat.... he bit us..."
"I know, Dog." said Cat.
"I don't like this. This is strange" said Dog.
"I don't like it either, and it is strange, because frogs don't have teeth!" Cat got a little suspicious.
"I know... maybe... IT'S AN ALIEN FROG THAT WANTS TO FEED US TO ITS LEADER!!!" Dog got really excited there.
"No.... that's just silly. I think it's just one of those Government experiments gone wrong. We've witnessed several of those, heh."
"Um......... Cat?"
"What is it, Dog?" Cat looked over at Dog and gave a big yell. Dog was turning into a frog!
"DOG! What's going on?! Are you okay?" Cat was very scared.
"I'm okay, C-cat... B-but what's happening to y-you.... RIBET!" Dog was beginning to speak Frog.
"Me?" Cat looked at himself, and shrieked again. He was turning into a salamander!
It took about five minutes for CatDog to successfully change into: SALAMANDERFROG!
*The rest of the episode is now relying on subtitles because Dog can only speak in Frog, and Cat can only speak in Salamander*
Dog: Cool! We're SalamanderFrog!
Cat: This isn't cool! This is humiliating! I can't go back to town as a salamander!
Dog: But, Cat! No one will know who you are because you are a salamander now! And I am a frog! Hence, we are SALAMANDERFROG! HIGH HO DIGGETY!!
Cat: *as he has said before* NO HO DIGGETY!! Hm..... that's getting old.
Dog: Yeah, I know.
Cat: *twiddles thumbs*
Dog: I'm hungry.
Cat: Then go eat a fly or something... *snickers to himself* Go eat a fly... that's a good one. *laughs some more*
Dog: Good idea, Cat! *lashes out tongue and catches a fly already* Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm! This is great, Cat! You should try one.
Cat: Well, I might as well. I am a salamander now, so I'll give it a go. *catches a spider with his long sticky tongue* This one's a spider. It's.... ick! Spiders don't taste very great...
Dog: But when you were a kitten, you always ate sp-
Cat: DON'T! I told you numerous times to never ever mention my deranged eating habits as a kitten!
Dog: Sorry, Cat.
Cat: Oh, you better be.
Dog: Oh no! I'm changing again!
Cat: *looks at Dog* AHHHHHH!
Dog: I'm changing into a zebra!
Cat: And I'm changing into a seagull!
*SeagullZebra run/fly out of the lake, and into town, looking for a doctor of some sort, but they end up running into the Greasers, who by the way, do not know that it's really CatDog*
*No subtitles anymore*
"Hey! It's another two headed freak!" exclaimed Cliff.
"Dyah... and it's feathers, anduhhhhh.... stripes." Poor, mentally challenged Lube tried to describe them to the best of his ability.
"LOOK! ONE OF THEM'S A SEAGULL!" Shriek shrieked. "Let's try blowing it up with some of this 'Alka-Seltzer' right here!"
Upon hearing this, CatDog, er... SeagullZebra ran for their lives as the Greasers chased them, and as they were running, they turned into more two-headed freaky things, such as:
SalmonSquid
BunnyHampster
CowMoose
ShampooConditioner
DonkeyMule
MouseElephant
ManateeRooster
LambGoat
SkunkGorrilla
BatSpider
ComputerPrinter
CougarWolf
DeerSteer
a bunch of other stuff, and then back to SeagullZebra
Eh... you get the picture.
Anyway, since the Greasers were so oblivious to the fact that 'SeagullZebra' changed to about a hundred different two headed freaks, Shriek had no problem getting a hold of them, and then she poured a big glass of Alka-Seltzer into Cat's mouth (who is still a seagull), and yes, he blew up, taking Dog with him. Up, and up and up, they went into the sky and landed right in front of their house. Cat and Dog were back to normal (even though they were colored black with soot from the explosion).
"That was weird..." Cat scratched his head.
"Let's go home." said Dog, and both of them walked into their house.
*meanwhile, the frog that bit CatDog, ran over to the house where the alien grannies live, and pulled out the false teeth that they were wearing and gave them back to the grannies, who said something old and creakily like "Thank you dearie!" or something that old ladies like them say when they thank someone, and uh.... they all lived happily ever after*
The End!
Now, I suppose you're wondering if Alka-Seltzer really does blow up seagulls. The sad truth is: Yes. You see, what happens, is that when the Alka-Seltzer enters the seagull's stomach, there's all that bubbly stuff that makes people burp or fart, however for some reason seagulls can't burp or fart, so they sort of... explode. It's not a fiery explosion, and they don't fly up in the air like what happened to CatDog. Anyway, some people, like my friend's grandpa actually do this (at least that's what she says. She was the one that told me all the stuff about Alka-Seltzer blowing up seagulls), which I think is incredibly sad, and now that you are all equipped with this knowledge, I ask you not to try anything!!! Please don't!! And if for some reason, you do it anyway, don't blame it all on me cuz I already disapproved of it. In case you're wondering, I have no idea why I put in the seagull thing in my story. For some reason that I'm sure many of you can relate to, I thought it was funny at the time that I wrote it, and I don't really want to get rid of it cuz it's kind of an important part, and if you think that's just terrible, well, there are stories so much more worse than mine, just to remind you. Well, there you go.