Her hands with their luminous pink nails like talons hover indecisively over the glass bowl filled with girls' names. I'm eighteen this year, it's my last reaping, my last one, I'll never have to go through this torture again. I keep repeating this over and over in my head. My heart is pounding. I watch her fingers flex and extend lazily, prolonging the agony, then swoop to pick one name out.

"Jude Parren!" she trills.

I exhale roughly, as though I've been punched in the stomach. My heart skips a beat and I can't move. The peacekeepers have to take me under each arm and haul me up on stage. I see people looking surprised at my reaction once I get up on stage; usually the people reaped from District 4 are happy to be picked. Ecstatic even. They've trained for this all their lives, it is supposed to be an honour to be chosen to represent your district in the fight to the death that is the Hunger Games.

My sister couldn't stop smiling when she was reaped 2 years ago. She was excited about the fame and glory, getting to see the capitol and never having to worry about money ever again.

Nina stopped smiling when her throat was slit by a cunning girl from district 2 who was supposed to be her ally.

I shake my head to clear that grim image out of my head, gather myself and smile broadly at the crowd. Minnie Tuza, the capitol escort, owner of those weird pink nails, looks relieved that I have come to my senses and realized how fantastic this is for me. She grins, displaying numerous diamonds set into her teeth. Capitol people and their bizarre trends.

There's a commotion in the crowd. I look down and see a blonde girl, who looks about fourteen, tussling with the peacekeepers. She breaks away from them and yells, 'I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!' I feel a stab of anger. Who does this girl think she is? Throwing her life away for no reason? She looks directly at me and I recognize her. Her mother is a baker in the town, a very nice woman. I can't be responsible for her losing her daughter. I can't let anybody take my place in this, it is my burden to bear.

Minnie looks at me , raising an eyebrow in question. I shake my head quickly and she smiles. 'Sorry, child but we don't require a volunteer. Jude is excited about representing District 4 – she's got ambition, this one!' The young girl looks crestfallen. 'Maybe next year, sweetie! May the odds be ever in your favour!' Minnie chirps in her affected Capitol accent. I feel like punching her. What does that stupid phrase even mean? They use it every year on reaping day, over and over. It doesn't make any difference if the odds are in your favour or not. You get picked all the same. The odds aren't in my family's favour, that's for sure.

Minnie turns her attention to the glass bowl of boys' names. Oh no. Luke. There's no way he isn't going to volunteer to go in with me. I scan the boys' side of the crowd, desperately looking for his distinctive bronze head. I find him staring back at me, a look of steely determination on his face. He nods tersely at me. I shake my head furiously and he furrows his eyebrows. Out of the corner of my eye I see Minnie seizing a single piece of paper from the bowl.

'Milo Ayre!'

I breath a sigh of relief. Milo is a hulking 17 year old who has been itching to be in the Hunger Games since his first reaping, hell since he could walk probably. He'll never let Luke replace him. I feel a frisson of fear as he makes his way up to the stage, however. He's at least 6'5 and absolutely ripped, and even though I've known him my whole life, I don't think he'd hesitate to kill me. Still, I do my best to smile at him when he comes to stand beside me.

While Milo waves to the crowd, I sneak a glance at Luke, who is having what looks like an argument with his best friend Feda who's standing beside him. No doubt Feda is convincing him not to try and volunteer. He's right. Milo has two older brothers who would probably hurt Luke and his family a lot for even attempting to take this 'oppurtunity' away from their brother. Soon Luke looks back up at me, and shakes his head slightly. I smile at him, curl my right hand into a fist and put it over my heart. Then Minnie grabs that hand and thrusts it into the air, I can see her doing the same with Milo's hand on the other side.

'District 4, I present your tributes for the 69th Annual Hunger Games! Milo Ayre and Jude Parren! I'm sure they'll do your district proud!'

.

.

. *

I sit in a room in the justice building, alone, waiting for my family and friends to come and say goodbye. I know there's a peacekeeper outside the door to make sure I don't make a break for it. If I had the nerve to jump out the window, there is probably one waiting on the ground outside there too. It's not uncommon for tributes to try and escape, and the capitol just hate when that happens.

The door creaks open and my mother walks in, her eyes shiny with tears. Without saying a word, she envelops me in her arms. Even though I've inherited my father's height and am at least 6 inches taller than her 5'4, I feel like a child again, running to my mother for comfort when something bad happens. A few moments later, she pulls away and fixes her pale blue eyes, so similar to my own, on me. 'Jude, I want you to do anything it takes to come back.' She said the same thing to Nina when she left. I remember being in this room saying goodbye to my sister and I feel a twinge in my chest.

'I will, Mom.'

'I mean it. I can't lose you both. I'll have nothing left to live for .' There's a knock on the door, meaning our time is almost up. 'I love you, baby,' she says as she takes me in her arms again. 'I love you too,' I croak, tears welling up in my eyes.

As she leaves the room, she turns around and smiles weakly at me. 'Win not just for yourself, but for Nina too.' I nod and then she's gone. And now I am never going to see her again. Tears well up in my eyes as this realization sinks in.

I put my face in my hands for a moment, trying to control myself, and when I move them Luke is in front of me. I fling my arms around him and hold him tightly, wanting to memorize everything about the way he feels, the way he smells; everything. 'Luke, you have no idea how glad I am that you didn't volunteer,' I murmur, not moving my head from his shoulder. 'It's bad enough that I have to go, I just couldn't bear the thought of you having to die too.'

He takes me by the wrists and shoves me away from him slightly, looking intently into my face. 'Jude, you are not going to die. You are going to win this.' His eyes blaze with passion. 'You aren't leaving me forever, do you hear me?'

My heart sinks. Why does he have to make this harder? 'Luke, I-'

'Jude, you are not defenceless. You're a career, you've trained your whole life. You're smart, you're fast, why couldn't you win this?'

'I can't ally with the careers, you know that, not after what happened to Nina. I can't trust them!' I protest.

His mouth is set in a grim line and he says, 'Maybe it's them who shouldn't trust you. I want you to form an alliance with them so you can get weapons and supplies at the Cornucopia. Then the first chance you get, you wipe them all out. Quietly. It's your best shot of getting home.' I'm shocked at this plan. It probably would work, mainly because its unexpected for careers to break alliances until all the other tributes are dead. But could I be that ruthless? 'Promise me you'll do everything you can to come home, Jude.' The harsh expression on his face changes and a tear trickles down his cheek. 'Please, I love you more than anything, please do this for me. I can't bear the thought of you not being here.'

What can I say? 'I'll do my best,' I reply weakly. He pulls me to him again and kisses me firmly on the lips. There's a knock on the door and I move my head to his shoulder, not ready to leave the safety of his arms just yet. 'I love you too obviously. I feel like I should say that before I leave, just in case.' His arms tighten around me and I feel his lips touch the top of my head lightly.

'This isn't goodbye, Jude. I know it.'

I wish I could be so sure.