Two Universes Passing in the Night
A Plot Bunny Crossover
Sue Grossman
Disclaimer: Hogan's Heroes and Star Trek are owned by Paramount, Viacom and others; this is an original story that does not intend to infringe on their copyright.
"What's that up ahead?" the Captain asked.
"It looks like a wormhole, Captain. It wasn't there a minute ago. I don't think we have enough time to avoid it," exclaimed Scotty.
"All hands brace for impact! Red Alert!" Captain James T. Kirk said with authority.
The Enterprise tossed back and forth but held together through the anomaly.
"Is everyone all right? All hands report any casualties," said Kirk. "Spock, where are we?
"Captain, it appears that we have gone back in time to Earth's 20th century. Specifically, 1942. That's right in the middle of your Second World War I believe,"Spock answered.
"Why were we brought to this juncture in Earth's history?" Kirk pondered.
"Captain, I'm getting an incoming old time radio transmission. It's coming from the southern part of Germany," Urhura said.
"Put it on the speakers. Let's see what it has to say. Maybe we can get to the bottom of this and find a way back home," said Kirk.
"Papa Bear to Momma Bear. Come in Momma Bear. We have an emergency here and may need some expert help."
"What seems to be the problem Papa Bear?"
"We are not able to control all the plot bunnies running around camp. They are interfering with our missions. We start our operations and then never have the ability to accomplish our goals."
"Captain, we gotta help them. We can't leave them there with all these plot bunnies to deal with. It's like the time we had to deal with all those Tribbles. Remember that? Maybe we could beam up all the plot bunnies," Dr. McCoy said as he exited the turbolift.
"Spock, can you get a fix on the Papa Bear signal? Is it possible to beam right to the source of the transmission?" Kirk asked.
"I read that the transmission is being sent from underground. We could beam down there and have minimum contact with the people of this time period," Spock answered.
"It's a well known fact that these people would not have seen someone from another planet," Kirk said as he looked at Spock's ears. "This will be a small away team, just Dr. McCoy and myself. Bones, meet me in Transporter Room 2. We need to find clothing that is from that time period before we go."
They beamed down to what looked like a large underground room with many tunnels leading in all directions. There was a lone man working at what looked like an ancient radio set up. He turned and was startled to find there were visitors in the tunnel.
"Who are you and how did you get here?" Kinch asked as he drew his weapon.
"We have come to help with your plot bunny situation," answered Kirk. "I am James Kirk and this is Dr. McCoy. We mean you no harm. We are only here to assist you. Is it possible for us to speak to Papa Bear, or the person in charge of this operation?"
Kinch had already pushed the alarm that would tell Colonel Hogan there was trouble in the tunnels. "I believe he will be here shortly," answered Kinch as the trap door opened and four men descended with weapons drawn.
"Colonel, these men seemed to just appear. They say they are here to help with our plot bunny situation, but I just called London a short time ago. They haven't even gotten back to me on this situation," reported Kinch.
"All right, who are you and what organization do you work for? What proof do you have to make me trust you?" Hogan said.
"I can see that only the truth will convince you Colonel," Kirk answered. "I am Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise of the United Federation of Planets. We went through a wormhole, went back in time and ended up here."
"You don't actually expect me to believe that hogwash," Hogan laughed. "It would be easier for me to believe you are Gestapo! If you are who you say you are, why don't you get rid of that monster in Berlin and all his goons? That would save a lot of lives."
"We can't. We have a Prime Directive that prevents us from tampering with history. If we interfere, we may not exist in our own time. The only thing we can help you with is the plot bunnies," answered Kirk.
Just then, the sound of the transporter beam surrounded them and after a strange glow of light, Spock appeared. "Captain, we have a problem. My calculations confirm we need to fix this bunny problem in one hour or we will not be able to return to our own time."
"Colonel Hogan, I would like you to meet my First Officer Spock." Kirk said. "Spock, about the Plot bunny problem...." Kirk said and then was lost in thought.
"Just as I suspected, Captain, these Plot bunnies have the power to cause anyone it comes in contact with to daydream and never complete their thoughts," Spock informed the group. "We could round up all the plot bunnies and beam them into space since there is no Klingon ship to send them to."
"Hold on there", said Hogan. "We can't get rid of the Plot bunnies. They are what give our Writers plots for our next missions. If you take them away we will either be stuck just being POWs or really be Unsung Heroes! Spock, you said the plot bunnies are able to control our thoughts...,"Hogan said as he thought about Connecticut and his Mom's home cooking.
"Maybe we could take away their power to control us," Carter suggested.
"Carter, how can we control something that is controlling us?" Newkirk said in a put down demeaning way.
"That's it! McCoy exclaimed. "I could create an antiplotbunny shot to counter their influence! I will need some lab space and what ever chemicals you have."
"Okay, this is what we will do, said Hogan in his most military voice. "Carter, take Dr. McCoy to your lab and help him any way you can. Kinch, you take Spock, Newkirk and Lebeu above ground to contain the plot bunnies. Put them in the cooler for now. Also get Spock a hat!"
Colonel, if you put all the plot bunnies together, won't we have too many plot bunnies running around?" Carter asked.
"We can neuter all the plot bunnies as we catch them. That would solve that problem," Spock said.
Colonel, won't the Germans be suspicious of having a stranger in the camp? How will you explain Spock's presence here?" Kirk asked.
"Oh that's not a problem, these Germans are more afraid of the plot bunnies than the guard dogs! We will just tell them that Berlin sent an expert to help us. They will be more relieved than suspicious," answered Hogan." All right everyone move. We only have 45 minutes to complete this mission."
Thirty minutes later, all the team members met back in the main tunnel. The plot bunnies had been contained and neutered and Dr. McCoy had come up with a shot that would neutralize their influence on the writers.
"Who will be first to get his shot?" McCoy asked.
"Shot!" said Hogan not wanting to know anything about getting a shot. "Oh, you won't mind my shots, Colonel, there are no needles!" laughed McCoy. There is enough here for your team, Colonel, and all the Hogan's Heroes Writers. Do you know where I can find them?
"Colonel, I'm getting a message from London, said Kinch. "They sent the directions to find the Writers. It's top secret. If the enemy gets a hold of this information they will be able to control what the Writers do to us."
"We don't want that, Hogan said. "I don't know why I know this but by the time the Endgame is played out, I will be shot and beaten by our friendly Gestapo. If the goons get this information, we may not survive this war. What does the message say Kinch?
"On your way back through time you will have to stop at the beginning of the 21st century," Kinch read. "The Writers are hiding at site called Hogan's Heroes SmartGroups. There leader is Kathy Miritello."
"We will be going then. I caution you Colonel that this visit is top secret. You must never speak of our encounter outside this tunnel. If the time line is changed there could be a very different future waiting for all of us." Kirk said as he opened his communicator.
"Captain, I saved some antiplotbunny serum for the writers in our universe. We also have been left hanging one too many times," informed McCoy.
"Colonel, I wish you well with all your missions. Live long and prosper, Spock said.
"Kirk to Enterprise beam us up Scotty!" ordered Kirk.
As the space travelers disappeared into thin air, the heroes heard commotion above them.
"Colonel, roll call in five minutes!"
A Plot Bunny Crossover
Sue Grossman
Disclaimer: Hogan's Heroes and Star Trek are owned by Paramount, Viacom and others; this is an original story that does not intend to infringe on their copyright.
"What's that up ahead?" the Captain asked.
"It looks like a wormhole, Captain. It wasn't there a minute ago. I don't think we have enough time to avoid it," exclaimed Scotty.
"All hands brace for impact! Red Alert!" Captain James T. Kirk said with authority.
The Enterprise tossed back and forth but held together through the anomaly.
"Is everyone all right? All hands report any casualties," said Kirk. "Spock, where are we?
"Captain, it appears that we have gone back in time to Earth's 20th century. Specifically, 1942. That's right in the middle of your Second World War I believe,"Spock answered.
"Why were we brought to this juncture in Earth's history?" Kirk pondered.
"Captain, I'm getting an incoming old time radio transmission. It's coming from the southern part of Germany," Urhura said.
"Put it on the speakers. Let's see what it has to say. Maybe we can get to the bottom of this and find a way back home," said Kirk.
"Papa Bear to Momma Bear. Come in Momma Bear. We have an emergency here and may need some expert help."
"What seems to be the problem Papa Bear?"
"We are not able to control all the plot bunnies running around camp. They are interfering with our missions. We start our operations and then never have the ability to accomplish our goals."
"Captain, we gotta help them. We can't leave them there with all these plot bunnies to deal with. It's like the time we had to deal with all those Tribbles. Remember that? Maybe we could beam up all the plot bunnies," Dr. McCoy said as he exited the turbolift.
"Spock, can you get a fix on the Papa Bear signal? Is it possible to beam right to the source of the transmission?" Kirk asked.
"I read that the transmission is being sent from underground. We could beam down there and have minimum contact with the people of this time period," Spock answered.
"It's a well known fact that these people would not have seen someone from another planet," Kirk said as he looked at Spock's ears. "This will be a small away team, just Dr. McCoy and myself. Bones, meet me in Transporter Room 2. We need to find clothing that is from that time period before we go."
They beamed down to what looked like a large underground room with many tunnels leading in all directions. There was a lone man working at what looked like an ancient radio set up. He turned and was startled to find there were visitors in the tunnel.
"Who are you and how did you get here?" Kinch asked as he drew his weapon.
"We have come to help with your plot bunny situation," answered Kirk. "I am James Kirk and this is Dr. McCoy. We mean you no harm. We are only here to assist you. Is it possible for us to speak to Papa Bear, or the person in charge of this operation?"
Kinch had already pushed the alarm that would tell Colonel Hogan there was trouble in the tunnels. "I believe he will be here shortly," answered Kinch as the trap door opened and four men descended with weapons drawn.
"Colonel, these men seemed to just appear. They say they are here to help with our plot bunny situation, but I just called London a short time ago. They haven't even gotten back to me on this situation," reported Kinch.
"All right, who are you and what organization do you work for? What proof do you have to make me trust you?" Hogan said.
"I can see that only the truth will convince you Colonel," Kirk answered. "I am Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise of the United Federation of Planets. We went through a wormhole, went back in time and ended up here."
"You don't actually expect me to believe that hogwash," Hogan laughed. "It would be easier for me to believe you are Gestapo! If you are who you say you are, why don't you get rid of that monster in Berlin and all his goons? That would save a lot of lives."
"We can't. We have a Prime Directive that prevents us from tampering with history. If we interfere, we may not exist in our own time. The only thing we can help you with is the plot bunnies," answered Kirk.
Just then, the sound of the transporter beam surrounded them and after a strange glow of light, Spock appeared. "Captain, we have a problem. My calculations confirm we need to fix this bunny problem in one hour or we will not be able to return to our own time."
"Colonel Hogan, I would like you to meet my First Officer Spock." Kirk said. "Spock, about the Plot bunny problem...." Kirk said and then was lost in thought.
"Just as I suspected, Captain, these Plot bunnies have the power to cause anyone it comes in contact with to daydream and never complete their thoughts," Spock informed the group. "We could round up all the plot bunnies and beam them into space since there is no Klingon ship to send them to."
"Hold on there", said Hogan. "We can't get rid of the Plot bunnies. They are what give our Writers plots for our next missions. If you take them away we will either be stuck just being POWs or really be Unsung Heroes! Spock, you said the plot bunnies are able to control our thoughts...,"Hogan said as he thought about Connecticut and his Mom's home cooking.
"Maybe we could take away their power to control us," Carter suggested.
"Carter, how can we control something that is controlling us?" Newkirk said in a put down demeaning way.
"That's it! McCoy exclaimed. "I could create an antiplotbunny shot to counter their influence! I will need some lab space and what ever chemicals you have."
"Okay, this is what we will do, said Hogan in his most military voice. "Carter, take Dr. McCoy to your lab and help him any way you can. Kinch, you take Spock, Newkirk and Lebeu above ground to contain the plot bunnies. Put them in the cooler for now. Also get Spock a hat!"
Colonel, if you put all the plot bunnies together, won't we have too many plot bunnies running around?" Carter asked.
"We can neuter all the plot bunnies as we catch them. That would solve that problem," Spock said.
Colonel, won't the Germans be suspicious of having a stranger in the camp? How will you explain Spock's presence here?" Kirk asked.
"Oh that's not a problem, these Germans are more afraid of the plot bunnies than the guard dogs! We will just tell them that Berlin sent an expert to help us. They will be more relieved than suspicious," answered Hogan." All right everyone move. We only have 45 minutes to complete this mission."
Thirty minutes later, all the team members met back in the main tunnel. The plot bunnies had been contained and neutered and Dr. McCoy had come up with a shot that would neutralize their influence on the writers.
"Who will be first to get his shot?" McCoy asked.
"Shot!" said Hogan not wanting to know anything about getting a shot. "Oh, you won't mind my shots, Colonel, there are no needles!" laughed McCoy. There is enough here for your team, Colonel, and all the Hogan's Heroes Writers. Do you know where I can find them?
"Colonel, I'm getting a message from London, said Kinch. "They sent the directions to find the Writers. It's top secret. If the enemy gets a hold of this information they will be able to control what the Writers do to us."
"We don't want that, Hogan said. "I don't know why I know this but by the time the Endgame is played out, I will be shot and beaten by our friendly Gestapo. If the goons get this information, we may not survive this war. What does the message say Kinch?
"On your way back through time you will have to stop at the beginning of the 21st century," Kinch read. "The Writers are hiding at site called Hogan's Heroes SmartGroups. There leader is Kathy Miritello."
"We will be going then. I caution you Colonel that this visit is top secret. You must never speak of our encounter outside this tunnel. If the time line is changed there could be a very different future waiting for all of us." Kirk said as he opened his communicator.
"Captain, I saved some antiplotbunny serum for the writers in our universe. We also have been left hanging one too many times," informed McCoy.
"Colonel, I wish you well with all your missions. Live long and prosper, Spock said.
"Kirk to Enterprise beam us up Scotty!" ordered Kirk.
As the space travelers disappeared into thin air, the heroes heard commotion above them.
"Colonel, roll call in five minutes!"