A/N: A generous reader gave me this suggestion and with such a great review as a bribe I couldn't tell her no! Using the Uke Handbook in this latest installment, this is the third one shot in the Breakfast Time series. I hope, dearest reader, that you enjoy this. It was so much fun to write, and I thank you for your support! Happy reading and please review! XOXOXO

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from Junjo Romantica or The Uke Handbook rules.

Sweet Karma

Chapter 1

"I'm here, Mi-kun! Are you alright?!"

Kirimi had bolted over to her cousin's house in a panicked rage with her husband in tow. Her and Haruhiko had been out enjoying their afternoon when her cousin, or so she had thought, frantically called saying that he was locked inside his room because Akihiko had finally lost it. Kirimi, ever the one to come to the teen's aid, hurriedly snatched up her husband yelling at the top of her lungs (practically to the world) that Akihiko was a dead (dead) man and rushed to the man's loft. But when she entered through the door (meaning she kicked it open), her little Mi-kun was nowhere to be found. Instead, she found her silver haired brother-in-law, smug as ever, sitting casually on the couch.

"Where the hell is Misaki you sick freak?!" Kirimi demanded, removing her earrings and tying her back. She handed her husband her purse and pumps as she readied to tear the pervert a new one for scaring Misaki's little soul… and for ruining her wedding… and for destroying her mentality… and for the late night phone calls he insisted on having when he couldn't sleep… and… well… for just being himself.

"Misaki isn't here," Akihiko purred. "What the hell do you mean he's not here? He called me terrified of your crazy ass!" Kirimi said, rolling up her sleeves.

Haruhiko kept a safe distance from his fuming wife, he knew her wrath and had no intentions of getting caught in the cross fire. He was half tempted to wait in the car, witnessing a murder just wasn't on his agenda that day, but the glare Kirimi gave him and the dark aura around her told him to stand the fuck still and to not say a word.

"Oh that? That was my doing, Mimi-kun, I am a man of many talents." The man boasted. The woman almost had to shield her eyes for his ego was shining so brightly. "Mi-sa-ki is out getting ice cream with his brother and his wife." The perverted bunny held up a pink and white hardback book 'The Uke Handbook' written across the cover in fancy glittery writing.

"What's that?"Kirimi dared to ask.

"Your cousin's handbook," Akihiko said. "You seem during vigorous rounds of heated sex, Misaki let it slip that you two found my copy of the Seme Handbook. And well, I just wanted to return the favor. We semes are required to have a copy, and apparently ukes are too." He gave a delighted smirk at his sister-in-law's horrific expression.

"Dear god," Kirimi said. "I've died and this is hell." Those two were truly perfect for each other, they both lacked privacy for their lover's things… meaning they were never allowed to her house.

"Come Kirimi, have a seat." Akihiko said, patting the empty space on the couch next to him.

"I'd rather stand," She spat with a glare.

"What? It isn't like I took your sweet little cousin for all he was worth here," Akihiko said with mock hurt. "I did it there, right where you're standing."

"I'm going to kill you… just flat out murder your ass and then bury you somewhere no one will ever find you!" Kirimi said, pinching the brim of her nose.

"Well you can do that after we read this." Akihiko gave the book a friendly wave. "Misaki got to read with you, it's my turn now. We're family after all." He smiled. Akihiko clearned his throat, opening the sweet smelling book to its first page. "Rule number one, if your seme doesn't want to pleasure you you're doing something wrong." The pervert bunny couldn't think of a time when he didn't want to take Misaki's sweet little ass, bend him over, and just have his way with him. In fact, he'd had a taste of Mi-bear just that morning before sending him off to send his brother. Akihiko smirked and turned the page, "Rule number two, you are not to own a car or motorcycle, but instead a bicycle, scooter, or vespa."

"Is that why Misaki-kun doesn't drive?" Haruhiko asked.

"No, he doesn't drive because your brother is a controlling asshole! Akihiko, you should go get yourself check out. Something isn't right with you." Kirimi said.

"Dearest brother, do you think something is wrong with me?" Akihiko asked, giving the man a sizeable look.

"... very much so." Replied Haruhiko.

"…moving alone… rule number three, no matter what the occasion you wear tight pants." Akihiko felt his own pants tighten at the thought of his sweet little lover in tight pants. He had to make a note to buy him some in assorted colors. "Rule number four, a suit is only acceptable at weddings/funerals, and only if accompanied by a bow tie."

"Aww, Mi-kun looked so adorable at our wedding, didn't he Haru?" Kirimi beamed with a motherly glow.

"Thank you for that by the way, I had a wondrous time undressing him in the bathroom during the reception." Akihiko purred with a wink, turning the page. "Rule number five, normal day clothing consists of oversized shirts/jackets and tight jeans." Again with the tight pants, now Akihiko really needed to invest in Misaki a few pairs. "Rule number six, you are allowed to tease your seme and make him force you into bed." He gave an inward chuckle at this, no problem there. "Rule number seven, crying during sex is only acceptable when you lose your virginity." No… no Misaki doesn't cry… at least not with tears. "Rule number-"

"Just what are you doing to this poor boy, Akihiko?" Haruhiko asked, arching a questionable brow to his brother. He knew his brother was a tad off, but this was more than he bargained for.

"… I'm reading, that's rude. Please hold all questions until the end, thank you. Rule number eight, no flirting with other men. This is especially true to your seme's best friend and mortal enemy." Akihiko thought for a moment, his best friend was Hiroki, who hadn't even glanced at his little lover in a sexual way not once. And his mortal enemy was his very own brother… and well he was now married. So technically Misaki was safe… no, no, the world was out to get his sweet little fuck and he had to protect him. He has to protect Misaki! "I must protect Misaki!"

"…What?" Kirimi and Haruhiko asked.

"Anyways, rule number nine, if another man touches you, you are to run crying to your seme. It doesn't matter what type of uke you are."

"You're the reason my cousin is such a crybaby," Kirimi pointed. "The cupcakes are too moist, he cries. His show gets cancelled, he cries. You're out of cigarettes, he cries. Before the wedding even started, I could hear Misaki crying!"

"…rule number ten, don't strip your seme. The only exception is if he's ignoring you." Misaki has never stripped him down, Akihiko thought, that was his job and he got an amazing thrill from watching his lithe body tremble with anticipation beneath him. Clearing his throat, he turned another page. "Rule number eleven in bed try to keep yourself from doing anything. Let your seme pleasure you. If you need to/are told to, you tell him exactly what you like." He closed the book for a moment to look up at his glaring sister-in-law and brother. "Say Mimi-kun, what do you do in bed?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" Kirimi coughed.

"Do you lay there and let Haruhiko do the work or do you-"

"If you don't finish reading that damn book already!" Kirimi shouted.

"Fine fine," Akihiko said. He had no intentions of letting that go, he did after all need some more material for his latest book. And believe it or not, Kirimi and Haruhiko's sex life made for good material (what little she disclosed to her cousin) and thanked the god's she didn't have an interest in the world on his books. "Rule number twelve, if you're foreign, try to find a seme who will show you around the town. You'll pay him back later." All eyes fell to Kirimi. She had been visiting Japan with her father's company when she ran into Haruhiko… the girl was native to the states. So that made her a foreigner.

"See Kirimi-kun, we were destined." Haruhiko lovingly teased.

"If you don't leave me the hell alone…" She said with a roll of her eyes.

"Rule number thirteen, your hair can be both long or shirt, either way you wear it in a ponytail to expose your neck… Mimi-kun, why haven't I seen your hair in a ponytail?" Kirimi gave him the finger. "Rule number fourteen, as far as you know, no one wants your body. If someone says they do, the proper way to respond is to blush heavily and look down. Your seme will take it from there." Misaki did have the cutest blush. "Rule number fifteen, the perfect gift for your seme is sex, no matter what he says he wants."

… Awkward Silence…

"Rule number sixteen, bright hair colors are super cute." All eyes fell on Kirimi once again.

"This is my natural hair color!" She said defensively for her bright pink tresses.

"… riiiiiiiiiigh," Akihiko nodded. "Kirimi, in a past life you might have been an uke." This was also a good idea for his next installment.

"You go to hell," Kirimi said.

"Not before you, dearest sister." Akihiko winked.

"That," Kirimi pointed as she faced her husband. "That is your brother!"

Haruhiko glanced back at an ever so smug Akihiko, and sighed. The man even looked like he was up to no good just when he was sitting there doing nothing. "Half-brother," He pointed out. "And he was dropped many… many… many times as a baby… I'll go give your therapist a call."