AN: Finally, the story about the night 3 years before the events of 'I'll keep you safe' - the night i reference to in most conphen ficlets set in the 'verse. I've spent a lot of time figuring out how I want this to go, and I like how this turned out, actually.
I think I relaxed into the story more as I wrote it and I tried to show more than tell. Hope you enjoy!
Connor's at CMU to study something that he's always loved. His Professor of Paleontology, advisor for his dissertation in a few years' time, is Nick Cutter, a supposedly short-tempered man who's super brilliant and almost never at the seminars or lectures, usually leaving his lab assistant Stephen Hart, or another professor, to cover for him.
Hart is... well, he's gorgeous, and that in and of itself flusters Connor. There are rumors Hart is with Professor Cutter, and Connor has to admit that they might be true...unfortunately.
x_x_X
Connor likes talking to Stephen at the lectures - and, after a while, whenever they bump into each other around campus.
Stephen finds himself impressed by Connor when the students have group discussions - debates, really - and the usually-shy young man is confident and sure, listing off well-formed arguments and playing devil's advocate. The kid's probably a genius, as well - Stephen has caught him multi tasking during
a seminar, listening and taking notes on important things while doing 5 or 6 other things all at once without missing a beat.
Stephen flirts with Connor sometimes - innocently, for the most part, even though Connor is cute despite the layers of badly-fitting clothes. and is fondly amused by the way he gets flustered every time. He learns Connor is clumsy except when running, is good at maths and loves everything sci-fi. Somehow, over lunch, Connor manages to convince him to watch Star Wars, and Stephen actually enjoys it. Stephen finds himself falling for the bumbling little genius who he's slowly starting to get to know. He stops seeing the layers as off-putting, but rather as a part of Connor's quirkiness. He begins to understand how Connor thinks, watching what makes him blush and what seems to make him uncomfortable. During the lectures they're student and lab technician but afterwards, they're sort of... friends.
It's nice, Stephen muses.
x_x_X
Connor's fond of Stephen Hart. The man is both brilliant and sexy, and the stories about Stephen's travels and accomplishments leave Connor in awe. He might fancy him just a little, maybe... Stephen is witty and flirty and sharper than he looks, and observant to boot. But Connor's pretty sure Stephen is with Cutter. Connor's always loved too easily for his own good. He can't fall in love with Stephen, so he has to make sure not to get too fond. It is difficult - Stephen's very tactile and seems to enjoy talking with Connor sometimes.
They might be friends, maybe?
x_x_X
Connor's a virgin. He's a virgin at 20 years old and is terribly inexperienced and is not at all happy with the situation, even thought he knows it's not really that big a deal. He's easily flustered by attention and compliments, no matter how well-intentioned they are. He realizes he originally wanted to save his first time for someone he's in love with, but... maybe waiting for the love of his life to have sex for the first time is a mistake. Maybe he should just... go to a bar and meet someone and have sex, get it over with?
He's a horrible lightweight and gets melancholy when he drinks too much; he knows this 'cause Duncan and Tom told him the last time he got drunk.
So it's with this in mind that he decides to make the cocktail he orders at the bar last, nursing his drink with shoulders hunched, uncomfortably self-aware of how ridiculous he must look, how awkward and silly and so not attractive to anyone at all. He's wearing a brown band tee shirt with a black waistcoat and black jeans and his favorite boots. It's so not his usual, preferred, geeky-and-layered security blanket, and he's not comfortable in it, afraid of being judged one way or another. Wrought with anxiety, Connor hunches over the bar even more.
A tap on his shoulder makes Connor let out an unmanly squeak, startled, and he turns to see Stephen Hart standing there with a mix of concern and fondness on his face.
The man smiles at him and Connor flushes.
x_x_X
Stephen spots Connor at the bar and is surprised because the younger man doesn't usually go drinking as far as he knows. he's also surprised by just how good Connor looks in his outfit - hot, instead of just adorkable, not that the latter is a bad thing, 'cause its not. He's concerned, however, over how Connor is hunched over the bar-top, the line of his shoulders and back giving away how tense he is. Stephen looks around the room, even though he knows enough about Connor to know that it may not be any specific person making him uncomfortable, but rather the idea of being judged can make the young man tense and ready to bolt at any time.
Despite that, Stephen looks around, and feels a surge of protectiveness towards Connor at the hungry looks the oblivious Connor is getting from various patrons of any gender. Connor doesn't deserve to be leered over. He heads to the bar and taps him on the shoulder, concerned as Connor jumps at the touch. He smiles in what's meant to be a reassuring manner, and earns himself a blush from Connor. Stephen's not sure if that's a good thing or not. He sits next to him.
"Hey, you alright, Connor?"
The younger man takes a sip of his drink and nods without meeting Stephen's gaze.
"I don't believe you, mate. What's bothering you?" Stephen pushes, keeping his voice gentle but firm.
Connor swallows convulsively and sighs, darting a glance at Stephen and blushing again.
The bar tender comes over and Stephen orders a drink, smiling at Connor and leaning just inside his personal space.
"I dunno why I'm here." Stephen opens his mouth to ask a question, but Connor looks at him and blinks, cheeks still pink. "Actually, I do, bu' it's really stupid an' I should... I should go home." Maybe Connor's more than a little drunk, Stephen muses, grabbing his arm as he trips over the bar stool.
"Hey, calm down, yeah? Why don't you explain, Conn?" Stephen prompts, taking Connor's hands in his and guiding him back to his seat at the bar. He doesn't let go of Connor's fingerless glove-clad hands, and Connor doesn't pull away.
A quick glance around tells Stephen that the whole bar, basically, is still leering at Connor, though they all look away when Stephen glares at them.
"Erm, I... I can't... it's embarassin'..."
"C'mon, you can talk to me. You know me well enough to know that you can trust me, right?"
Connor hesitates and then nods. His warm, chocolate-and-amber colored eyes meet Stephen's blue ones, and the younger man takes a deep breath, and whispers, words slurring and thick with his Northern accent:
"I've never 'ad sex before, an' I thought I could meet some'n in the bar bu' I couldn' even talk ta anyone 'cept you and you don't count and this's really embarassin' 'n I think I'm drunk and-"
Stephen sighs and cuts off the drunken babble by pressing a kiss to Connor's lips.
"You know, you're really sexy in those tight jeans." He whispers in Connor's ear, "and you know me..." He adds, pressing kisses along Connor's jawline. The younger man breathes out in a little gasp, and Stephen can imagine him with eyelids half-closed, dark eyelashes just touching his cheeks, lips parted slightly and a red stain on his cheeks. "If you want, you can come back to my place..."
"Mmm?"
"For some coffee... And lots of other things..." Stephen says, bringing his lips down onto Connor's again, feeling the younger man respond, sinking into and returning the kiss this time.
By the time they break away for air, panting, Stephen's almost forgotten what he's said, and is confused for a moment when Connor mumbles something that sounds like "Bloody hell yes."
After a moment it clicks, and he pulls back to grin at Connor.
Stephen pays for their drinks and stands, taking Connor's hands and tugging gently for him to get to his feet. They're out the door as quickly as possible, and walking somewhat unsteadily side-by-side in the chill night air towards Stephen's flat, which is a convenient one block away.
x_x_X
The travel between the bar and his flat passes in a blur, even though the cool air serves to lessen their drunken-ness just a little. He unlocks the door clumsily and tugs Connor inside, pressing him up against the wall immediately, Connor using his foot to close the door behind them. He leans into Stephen's touch and responds eagerly to every movement and kiss, and they're shedding clothes in seconds, barring a bit of frustration with the buttons of Connor's waistcoat. They stumble into the bedroom, naked, and Stephen kisses Connor like he'll never have another chance because a part of him, at the back of his mind, is half convinced that Connor will regret this in the morning. Connor's kissing him back just as desperately, and they tumble onto the bed and then its a blur of pleasure and movement and it all feels so perfect.
Too perfect, maybe.
They fall asleep in each other's arms, cuddled together with arms and legs entwined.
In the first light of dawn Connor suddenly wakes, unsure as to why. He's befuddled for a single moment before he remembers the night before. He doesn't regret it, not at all, because it was amazing and Connor's realized he'd fallen in love with the lab technician a while ago, back when he said he wasn't going to let himself - and apparently Stephen isn't with Cutter but that does not mean that Stephen will want someone like Connor as a boyfriend - Stephen had probably only wanted to deflower the geek or something. And Connor feels bad about thinking that of Stephen without knowing if it's true or not but he can't imagine anyone wanting to be in love with him, no matter what. Last night was amazing but it was just sex and he couldn't exactly tell the man he was in love with him - it'd sound creepy, probably! And then he'd have nothing at all.
So Connor extricates himself from Stephen's arms and gets dressed and leaves the flat as quietly as possible. He catches a cab to go home to his flat, missing Stephen already.
x_x_X
Stephen jerks awake at the sound of the door closing, and reaches for Connor - only to realize that the younger man has already left - without saying anything at is true, what he'd feared: Connor regretted sleeping with Stephen Hart, he wanted nothing to do with a man who would take advantage of him like that. Stephen sighs and drops his head back onto his pillow, eyes prickling. wracked with guilt, he decides the best course of action is to pretend none of this has ever happened - which means not talking to Connor more than necessary. (Stephen is sure Nick will assign the seminars to him again.)
No use crying over what he can't ever have.