"I mean, sometimes I just feel so…. alone, you know? Like my whole life has been this big cover up. A picture with tons of smiling faces and laughs and I painted it myself to cover up the truth. My whole life I've imagined everyone was walking towards me, when really, they're just walking away…."
Friday nights with Denmark were always imagined to be some big, spectacular event. A party, with drinking and desperately picking up whoever will come with you. No one expected the horrible truth of the event. Just as Mathias had just admitted, it was all a lie. A façade. He couldn't bear to imagine that may just be true.
"I'm sorry…"
It was the one and only time Norway imagined he would be saying it. It seemed a worthy cause.
"You're not though. You're sorry right now because I look so pathetic." Denmark's laugh rung out cold and hollow. It lacked everything that made it Denmark's laugh. Norway seemed to have convinced himself this wasn't the real Denmark at all. But that was the problem. He is. The other one? He's just a beautiful lie.
"You think you're helping. Being genuine and all that. I know you're not, you're Nor. You hate me and you always will. Watching me cry and moan isn't gonna change that."
Lukas was convinced he was wrong. He didn't hate him. He never had. But his throat was dry and the words just stuck while Denmark's hung in the air, sinking deeper down into his mind until he was sure they were imprinted.
"You can leave, Lukas… You don't have to stay; I'm not keeping you…"
It may have been a useless attempt, but Norway's body seemed to push itself onto Denmark without a moment's hesitation. His arms searched to try and cling to him, to speak in ways his voice couldn't. And Denmark seemed deaf.
"Lukas…"
"I'm so sorry…."
For a moment he thought he heard a sob. A cry out to him that he would never admit to.
And perhaps neither would. Perhaps Mathias's Friday night breakdowns would remain and horrible secret, and Lukas's comfort a hidden truth, and they would keep on pretending. Because on Friday nights Denmark gets drunk. He screams and yells and Norway tries all he can to stop it.
And that's the truth. Just never in the ways you'd ever expect it.