Alrighty. I fell in love with Romantically Apocalyptic within the last few months and needed a way to escape. I've never been a great writer, but it's one of the few things (including reading) that really gets me away from reality for a bit. We all need an escape after all. This is my first attempt at any fan fiction so any criticism is welcome and helpful. It's slow right now, and I'm not near as far as I'd like but I have to be up in a bit for class and I'll chicken out if I wait until I'm sober to post. So here you are…

Snippy looked over the horizon, using the scope of his weapon to enhance his chances of seeing anything that could be problematic in the near future. Scattered destroyed houses littered the landscape, but was surprisingly barren of any roaming nuclear-fueled monsters. 'Weird' he thought to himself as he dropped his rifle. Usually there were at least a few of the demons running about in open areas and he had been hoping to let off some steam after a particularly frustrating argument with Pilot over Mr. Kittyhawk.

This morning, Pilot had vehemently accused Snippy of having something to do with the bizzare disappearance of Mr. Kittyhawk overnight.

"Waaaaah!" Snippy had awoken with a start to Pilot's strangled yell. "It's all your fault, you shoe!"

"Wha'? Ooph!" Snippy was hardly able to get out his query before Pilot landed roughly on him, pinning him down in his make-shift bed.

"Where is he?" Pilot's unmasked face was red, his green eyes staring daggers, and his tone, venomous. Snippy easily matched his glare after being woken up so rudely.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Snippy tried to shift his weight to make it easier to get the crazed man off of him, but Pilot only gripped his shoulders tighter, his hands becoming white because of the force he was using.

"You know damn well. You're flippy-floppy tricksies won't work on me. Where is Mr. Kittyhawk? I know you kidnapped him!" Snippy's expression changed to one of confusion as he came to terms with what the maniac above him was hissing about. When Snippy didn't answer immediately Pilot shook him harshly again snarling, "Where is he?"

Again Snippy's confused look turned to one of anger. " I don't know where your stupid stuffed animal is." He rolled his eyes as Pilot's face reddened some more. "Why the hell would I take it anyways?"

"Because you were jealous!" He spat the last word in Snippy's face. "You were jealous of my friends, because you don't have any!" Snippy recoiled at the harsh implication. 'More like a fact rather than implication' a small voice in the back of Snippy's mind reminded him simply.

"Why would I be jealous of anything that was unfortunate enough to be your friend?" Between Pilot and that annoying voice in the back of his mind, his patience was gone. "Even if I had taken your stupid toy it would have been out of mercy so it wouldn't have to deal with you anymore!" Pilot's face became crimson, veins now visible in his neck. He raised a hand behind his head as if going for his katana that, in his anger, he hadn't noticed was still on the floor beside his own bedmat. Snippy's own hand still lie beside him unable to move since it was pinned with Pilot's leg.

"Mein minions! Zat eez enough!"Captain's german accent became stronger as his thundering words entered the room. Pilot stiffened looking over his shoulder as Captain stomped into the room. Snippy, seizing the opportunity, managed to worm his hands from under Pilot's grasp throwing him off to land on the floor in front of Captain. "What are you two boobs doing?"

Pilot was the first to react, falling to his knees in front of Captain crying. "That shoe kidnapped Mr. Kittyhawk!" Pilot continued his ramblings to Captain amidst sobs as Snippy, already annoyed and having had enough of the idiot for the day, scoffed and rolled his eyes but said nothing. He stood up and began to get dressed instead, trying to ignore the child-like man sobbing at Captain's feet.

"Is it true?" Captain's voice, more controlled now, was directed at Snippy.

Snippy spun around to face Captain after putting on his coat. Pilot's glowering eye's looked emerald green now from the crying. "No." he stated flatly.

"Well, then it's settled." Captain helped the still whimpering pilot to his feet, brushing off the ash and dust that came from being thrown onto the ground earlier. "There has been a heinous crime here, yes, but it was not Snippy!"

Pilot looked at Captain with disbelief, "You can't actually believe the shoe, sir!"

"If I couldn't believe mein minions, what kind of captain would I be? You must believe your captain's beliefs too if you want to be a good minion, and you do want to be a good minion, don't you?" Snippy could almost see the smirk and raised eyebrow beneath captain's mask as he asked the last question.

With that Pilot's eye's grew wide and he jumped to attention, bringing up his hand in salut. "Yes, sir!"

"That is wonderful to hear!" Captain clapped his hands together for emphasis, some of the steaming liquid spilling from his mug. "Now to move on to today's tasks! Due to the current situation, Pilot, you must track down your friend and slay the evil monster that dare kidnap a fellow minion!"

Again Pilot, still at attention, repeated himself, "Yes, sir!"

"And Mr. Snippy! Due to the recent attack that had left our base slightly unstable, you are to find us a new base and more supplies!" Snippy grumbled in acknowledgement. "Good, now be off with you as I find Mr. Engie so he can start on my biography." With that, Captain turned on his heel and walked out of the room. Pilot, his arms held out like wings beside him as he 'flew' around the room, grabbed his jacket and mask before making his way out of the room as well, leaving Snippy alone.

Remembering the incident from that morning, another waved of aggravation swept over him. He grumbled underneath his breath, lifting his scope again to his eye, hoping he had just skimmed over one by accident.

"There's got to be at least one of those da-… What's this?" His growl faded away as his line of vision fell upon a surprisingly stable looking house sitting on a hill in the distance. It was the only standing house among the rubble of hundreds of other houses that had fallen from bombs or age.

Most of the shingles were missing from the roof and the broken windows were boarded up. Where once sat a front porch was now a pile of wood with the door blocked by the falling overhang. It looked as though the house had been patched up many times before but now sat alone and abandoned to the elements. With so few of the monsters in the area and the high probability of supplies in the house, Snippy allowed himself to smile, forgetting, for once, about the argument from that morning. It wasn't very often one of Captain's mission actually went right for him.

He slung his rifle over his shoulder, a grin still plastered on his face as he imagined himself as the only one who would come back prosperous from today's tasks. "Dare I say it, but Captain might even be proud of my success," he whispered to no one in particular with a laugh before shrinking back a bit, frowning. Looking around to make sure no one had heard him, "Not that I really give two shits what he thinks," he added in for good measure just in case the quiet winds blew back his words to Captain.

Happy reading!