AUTHOR'S NOTE: What's this, you ask? This is a PREVIEW of one of the stories I will be writing after I finish "Fragments." I've been working on this for a while now, and I've finally gotten secure enough with the beginning parts of it to write and post the first chapter. It's merely a preview, so this will be it until "Fragments" is done, which hopefully won't be long. You'll see that this story, while also being a Kogan story, is very, very different. Hopefully you will like it! Soon, the first chapter of the Jarlos story I want to write alongside this one will also be posted, and then I'll get back to "Fragments," finishing it up and then moving on to writing these two fics. Happy reading!
EXPRESSING MY LOVE
- 1 -
Thursday's Stranger
Thursday was Kendall Knight's favorite day of the week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday were usually spent working upwards of ten hours at the factory, and by the time he'd get home, he'd be so tired and exhausted that all he could do was eat a quick dinner, watch maybe a couple hours of TV, and drift off to sleep to do it all again the next morning.
But Thursday was different. Thursday was a day off, and it was his one and only opportunity to do what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it and how he wanted to do it. Sure, he was off on weekends, too, but so were many others in his small hometown. Thursdays were all his, though, and there was no one around to scrutinize his every decision. Sometimes, he'd just laze around the trailer all day, and sometimes, he'd hop in his truck and drive far, far away to nowhere special.
Sometimes he'd wish for someone to share his Thursdays with.
On this particular Thursday, the lanky, athletic 20-year-old woke up at the conservative hour of 8am. He took a long, hot shower, and then he stood for a bit in front of the mirror to give himself a lookover. Dirty blond hair, green eyes, dimples, and a bright smile that could get him the moon if he wanted it. A thin, modest body with some muscles thanks to his heavy workload. He dried himself off and smoothed his hands over his abs. He knew he looked good, and he knew he could get anybody he wanted.
A fresh cup of coffee and a plate of bacon and eggs were on his mind all morning, and he decided to head out to the Autumn Eatery for just that.
Autumn, Kansas, was a small town; population of about 2,000. It was thirty minutes away from a modern, nice-sized university town, but it might as well have been another world. Everyone knew everyone, and, of course, everyone knew everyone else's business. Everyone knew Kendall Knight, too, but everyone also knew that he'd had a rough go of things in his life so far, so no one tried to get on his bad side. He had quite the reputation as a little spitfire, and if anyone whispered anything about him behind his back on a Friday night at the local watering hole, they'd be guaranteed to receive a Grade A ass-whooping courtesy of the man himself.
This unspoken understanding extended to other aspects of Kendall's daily life, too, and so when he entered the diner on the morning of his favorite day of the week, he was not at all surprised when several of the bigger, brawnier men of Autumn all tensed up just a little in their chairs. He was surprised, however, by the stranger seated at the counter. Of course, out-of-towners passed through the Autumn Eatery every single day, and most of the time, Kendall just politely smiled and waved at them as they went on with their travels, but something about this particular outsider caught his eye almost immediately.
Fuck, he's hot, Kendall thought.
And he was! He was raven-haired and petite, and he was packaged in a sophisticated outfit that seemed to be tailor-made for his figure. The stranger sat with his back to the door, so Kendall couldn't see his face, but he could only imagine a set of deep, dark eyes and a smile as tempting as his own. It wasn't often that someone so attractive and intriguing wound up in dinky little Autumn, and Kendall's attention was squarely focused on this guy. Even when he took his usual table in the corner, he still couldn't keep himself from looking back and trying to get a glimpse of his face.
"Good mornin', Kendall darlin'," greeted Hazel, the plump and pleasant waitress. She'd been serving up dishes at the Autumn Eatery for all of Kendall's life, and for the last few years, she'd been the closest thing to a mother he had. She brought with her a pot of coffee and a mug, along with her trusty pad and pencil.
"Mornin', Hazel," he replied warmly.
"I have to say, I'm kinda bewildered to see you here on a Thursday," she said, pouring him some coffee. "I know how much you like to stay to yourself on your off day."
"Yeah, well..." he said, not really paying too much attention because he was still drawn to the stranger. "I had a craving for some bacon and eggs, and you know I can't cook worth a spit, so here I am."
The waitress chuckled. "Well, I know just how you like it. Bacon, eggs, and toast...with maple syrup all over the whole plate! Coming right up!"
"Thanks, Hazel," Kendall said with a smile. Once she was gone, he finally got himself together and stopped creeping on the guy at the counter. What would be the point in hovering over him, anyway? Just like all of the other outsiders, he probably stopped for a bite to eat and would soon be back on the highway, never to set foot in Autumn ever again. No use in Kendall getting all excited.
He gazed out the big windows into the main street of Autumn. Old ladies gossiping on the sidewalk as they made their way to the grocery store. Their husbands telling war stories as they sat outside the town's only gas station. The younger working men heading out to the factory where Kendall would normally spend his time. Teenagers, fresh out of school for the summer, gathering together before driving out to "the city," where they'd hang out at the mall all day. Such was life in Autumn. Kendall figured he'd have his breakfast and retreat to his secret spot in the woods, where he'd strum his guitar all day and work on the songs he'd been writing.
Hazel returned as promised with Kendall's order. Because it was a relatively slow morning, she was able to sit down with him for a quick minute to get an update on the goings-on of his life, though there wasn't much to update her on.
"Tell me, have you heard from your daddy at all?" she asked with concern.
"Nope," he replied. "It's been about six months now. To tell you the truth, the longer he stays away, the less I care about him ever coming back."
"Oh, Kendall..." she sighed, gently rubbing his arm as he ate. "He's the only family you've got left now...don't you want things to be better for the two of you?"
"Ha," Kendall let out. "I'm startin' to learn that what I want really doesn't matter much anymore."
Hazel didn't know what to say. It broke her heart to see her favorite guy so downtrodden, but all she could do was remind him that she would always be there for him. "Well...I love you like you was one of my own, you know that, right?"
"Yeah."
"And if you ever need anything, and I mean anything - money, food, shelter, or just a shoulder to cry on - you know better than to hesitate to call me."
"I know, Hazel, and I thank you. I'm gonna be fine, though, just okay. Every now and then I get in a little slump where I feel like life's not worth living, but I get over it."
"'Not worth living?' Kendall! You're breaking my heart here!"
Kendall grinned. "Maybe that was a little dramatic. But like I said, I'm gonna be fine! And it's Thursday, right? My problems are nothing that a day to myself can't solve."
Hazel took a moment to stare him down, to make sure she could believe that he was really all right, and then she got up to go back to work. "Well, if you ask me, that's part of the problem - all that time you spend by yourself out in that trailer. It ain't normal for a fella of your age to be all alone so much. You need a girl to help take some of your blues away."
"Yeah...well..."
Kendall was glad to be left alone now. He loved Hazel, but he always felt pressure when she talked to him about some things, and her desire to see him with a girl was one of them. She didn't know that he was getting more and more interested in the idea of dating guys, and he wasn't sure how she would react. Really, he wasn't sure how anyone in this one-horse town would react to that. But, he kept his fightin' hands ready at all times, so whenever push came to shove and everyone in Autumn knew that Kendall Knight swung his bat for both teams, all it'd take was a few beatdowns for everyone to remember not to fuck with him.
He finished his breakfast and was waiting on the bill. A crowd of tourist nuns had come into the diner, and they were keeping Hazel, the lone waitress, busy, so Kendall sat patiently. His eyes once again turned to the stranger at the counter, who was waiting patiently for his bill as well. Finally, he turned to Kendall's direction for a quick second, and Kendall was both amused and let down by the fact that he'd been right - that boy was very hot, indeed. The dark eyes were there, and so was the smile, and he even had cute little dimples, just like Kendall. They smiled nervously at each other, but the stranger soon turned back around.
Too bad he's not staying, Kendall thought to himself. Besides, the guy was probably straight as an arrow, anyway. From the looks of his clothes, he could have been part of the nuns' entourage.
Once all of the nuns' orders were taken, Hazel brought out the bills for Kendall and the stranger. Kendall immediately dug into his pockets because he already knew exactly how much he owed, but the stranger pulled out a debit card and sat it on the counter.
"Oh, um...we don't accept those," Hazel said upon seeing the shiny plastic card.
The stranger's eyebrows furrowed. "Uh..."
"There's a sign on the door," she explained. "Cash only. Honey, believe me, I don't have a problem with cards, but Fred, the guy who runs the place, he doesn't trust banks at all. It's cash or nothing. We don't even have one of those little swipin' machines."
"But I don't have any cash," the stranger said, his heartbeat getting faster. "All I have is my card."
"Um, well...is there any way you could get some cash?"
"I could call my parents, but they went into the city to run some errands, and I really wasn't supposed to leave my grandmother alone for too long..."
"Sorry, kid," Hazel apologized. "Maybe you can talk something over with Fred. I'll get him for you."
"No, don't worry about that," Kendall intervened, joining them at the counter. The stranger turned to him quickly. "What did he have?"
"Eggs, waffles, apple juice," Hazel read from the bill.
"Oh, that's it?" Kendall teased, winking at the stranger. "Put our bills together. I'll take care of it."
"Sir, I can't ask you to do that," the stranger protested even as Hazel stapled the two bills together and took Kendall's money.
"You didn't ask me; I offered," Kendall corrected him. "Unless you'd rather sit here and wait for your parents all day."
"Um...I don't...I don't know what to say," the stranger finally gave in. "I have to repay you."
"No, you don't."
"Yes! I do!"
"All right," Kendall agreed. "Tell you what. Next time you're in town, you can buy me breakfast." He started for the door. "Have a safe trip to wherever you're going."
"No, wait!"
But Kendall was gone out the door and down the sidewalk, back to this truck. Hazel came back with the change he was owed.
"I guess I'll just hand this over to you," she said, dropping seventy-three cents in his hand.
"Thanks," the stranger said. "Who was that guy?"
"Oh, that's Kendall," she beamed. "He's a real sweetheart."
He is, the stranger agreed silently.
Night always seemed to fall quickly in Autumn, even during the summer when days were supposed to be longer. Perhaps it was the lack of the neon signs and fluorescent lights that were common in bigger cities that made Autumn such a dark place at dusk. Whatever the case, by 8pm on week nights, most of the town's roads were empty except for a lone car here or there.
Logan Mitchell was on his way home after dropping off Gladys Hoffman, his grandmother's best friend in the entire world. He'd picked her up that afternoon so that she could keep the sickly old lady company, but now as he traveled the dark, meandering roads, he couldn't help but regret offering to bring her back home. He was used to the bright lights of Dallas, the place he called home, and the comfort of knowing that there were tons of other vehicles on the road at any given time. In Autumn, it felt like he was all alone, and God forbid anything should happen to him before he got back to his grandmother's house.
The time alone did give him an opportunity to think, though, and as much as he tried to think about all of the fun and excitement that would come into his life once the summer was over and he was back in Dallas, he found his mind wandering back to his experience at the Autumn Eatery that morning and back to the generous donor who'd come to his rescue.
He's not cute. He's just a nice guy who did a nice thing for me, and that's it. He probably went right home to read his Bible and sing his favorite church hymns. Or worse, he probably went shootin' in the woods with Toby Keith blaring on his truck radio. Or even worse, he probably went to bring his baby mama and their five kids to the welfare office to pick up this month's food stamps. Five kids...all of them probably have his green eyes, too. And there's probably one who has his dimples. Whatever. Maybe he is cute. But he's not gay, so it doesn't matter.
He shook his head and turned the music up. The last thing Logan needed was to waste his time thinking about a boy - no, he was only looking for men, now. And, somehow, he had a feeling that the type of man he wanted would not be found in Autumn.
Just as he was getting lost in the music, however, the worst possible thing happened. It was the distinct sound of a broken beer bottle piercing through one of his front tires, and then it was the rough-and-tumble feeling of his Mustang limping along until it could no longer move forward. He tried his best to pull over to the side of the road - pointless, though, because who else was driving this late? - and when he did, he pounded on the steering wheel in frustration.
"Fuck!" he exclaimed. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
He knew he had a spare in the trunk, but he didn't know the first thing about changing a flat, nor did he even have all of the necessary equipment for that. He pulled out his cell phone, and, of course, there was no service. What was he supposed to do now? Just chill out in the middle of nowhere until someone came looking for him? And what if the wrong person came looking for him? He'd seen enough horror movies to be just a little worried.
There was still some light out, though the trees tried to block it, so maybe he could get out and walk to the nearest land line. Hopefully, whoever it belonged to wasn't looking to add him to their collection of bodies in the basement.
He got out of the car, tightened his shoelaces, and started to walk, but as soon as he was in the state of mind to see this journey through, a pair of headlights appeared down the street.
Great, he thought. I'm either gonna be saved, or I'm gonna be killed right here in the street.
But as the driver of the other vehicle noticed Logan standing on the side of the road, he eased on the breaks until his truck came to a complete stop.
"Well, well, well!" Kendall called from the truck.
Logan was startled to see that it was him again. As much as he needed help in this situation, a part of him wished it could have just been a homicidal maniac. The less time he spent with gorgeous straight guys, the better.
"Hi," Logan greeted hesitantly, waiting for someone else to show up. Even without his teeny tiny little crush on this strange guy, the simple fact that he already owed him breakfast was enough for him to refuse his help.
"You havin' car trouble?" Kendall asked as he shut off the truck and got out.
"Uh...yeah," Logan answered. "But, look, I don't want to keep you from wherever you're going, and you've already done enough for me today, so I'm sure someone else will come along and-"
"Please, it's nothing," Kendall cut him off. He walked around to the Mustang and took a look at the tire. "A flat tire. Is that all?"
"That's what it looks like."
"I can have that fixed in no time. Do you have a spare?"
"Yes."
"How about a jack?"
"No."
"All right, that's no problem. I have one. Lug wrench?"
"A what?"
Kendall laughed. "It's okay. I have one of those, too."
Kendall went rummaging in the bed of his truck, way more thrilled than he needed to be to see that his handsome stranger from that morning was still in town. Okay, he was sure that the guy was straight and that nothing was going to happen between the two of them, but he'd still help him out and make sure everything was running smoothly for him. Maybe they could be friends.
"Dude, look...I told you, you don't have to stop everything you're doing for me," Logan pleaded as he watched Kendall dig.
"And I told you that it's nothing," Kendall retorted.
Logan sighed and stamped his foot. The only thing he hated more than being indebted to someone was a sweet guy who didn't know how to quit when he was ahead. Didn't this guy know that he was merely a little gay boy who fell in love way too easily?
Falling in love? Are you serious, Logan? he asked himself. He paid for your waffles, and now he's gonna fix your tire. That's it. And you're already getting carried away. It's not like he's gonna look at you with those green eyes and whisper in your ear that you're beautiful and then kiss you and then put his arms around you and... Just chill out, dude.
"Well, we have a problem," Kendall announced rather sadly. "Looks like I left my jack and my lug wrench at home."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I must have taken them out when I washed the truck last week. It won't take but five minutes to go and get them."
"No, please, don't bother," Logan said, hopping on to yet another chance to get away. "You can just bring me to my grandmother's house, and my dad can come back and take care of it."
"That's nonsense," Kendall decided. "I live right down the road, it won't take long at all for me to get the stuff, and then we can come back, and I can show you how to change a flat tire."
Logan's mouth twisted. He didn't want to seem ungrateful, but if only he could just tell this guy what the deal was, then maybe he'd get the hint. But Logan Mitchell was far from stupid, and telling a farm boy from Middle of Nowhere, Kansas, something along the lines of "Thanks, but if you keep helping me, I might want to kiss you and cuddle with you in front of a movie and maybe have sex with you" wasn't the smartest idea.
"Okay," he finally agreed.
"All right, then," Kendall smiled.
They got in the truck and set off for Kendall's trailer, which, admittedly, was more than just five minutes "down the road." Logan settled into the truck, but he made up his mind to be as guarded as possible.
"So, you're still here," Kendall said, hoping to start up a conversation. "Most people come and go in less than an hour."
"Heh, well," Logan shrugged in response, but he felt bad for being such a little bitch to this guy who was just trying to be nice. "I'm gonna be here for the summer."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah. I came with my parents to help take care of my grandmother. She's got cancer, and it's...well, she doesn't have much time left, so we're gonna be here for however long she needs us. My parents are busy getting all of her finances in order, so I'm gonna be the one to keep an eye on her most of the time."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Kendall offered sincerely.
"Oh, no, don't be sorry. I never really knew her at all, so I'm not too shaken up by it yet. It's very sad and depressing, though."
"I would imagine so!"
"Yeah. And not just the whole 'dying grandmother' thing, either," Logan said. "To be honest, this whole town is...not my kind of town at all. I mean, what kind of a restaurant doesn't take credit or debit? And don't even get me started on the old ladies who watch your every move when you're walking in town."
"Heh, yeah...Autumn's one of those types of towns."
"Yeah, well," Logan began, "I can't wait 'til it's time for me to get back to Dallas. I don't know how much longer I can stay in this hell hole, and it's only been a few days so far."
"Hey!" Kendall scolded. "You're talkin' about my hometown, you know. And may I remind you, two times today, someone from this hell hole has gone out of his way to help you out!"
Logan blushed and immediately felt horrible. "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. Believe me, I am!"
"It's okay," Kendall grinned. "I was just pickin' on you."
"No, you're right. You've been way nicer than you've had any reason to be, and here I am, talking shit about your home."
Kendall shook his head. "It's okay. Trust me, sometimes I wanna just get out, too."
There was something sad about the way Kendall expressed that last thought, and they took the rest of the trip in silence. When they got to Kendall's, he quickly grabbed the tools needed to change Logan's tire, and they headed back to the spot on the road. Kendall got down and dirty and changed the tire, and even though he tried his best to explain the process to Logan, Logan wasn't really paying attention. All he could think about was how nice this guy was and how there seemed to be an undercurrent of sadness in his demeanor. When they'd gone to his home, Logan had noticed that all of the lights were off and there were no other cars in the driveway. He felt that there was a lot more to this Kendall guy than what he was seeing, but at the same time, he knew that if he got too involved, he might not have been able to control his feelings.
"All right, and there you go," Kendall announced when the tire change was complete. "One old, busted tire gone for good, and one new, fresh tire installed and ready for use."
"Thank you, sir," Logan replied, fishing his car keys out of his pocket. "How much do I owe you? Besides breakfast."
"Hehehe," Kendall laughed, not surprised that his act of generosity was met with an offer of compensation. "How about you give me the chance to show you that Autumn's not as bad as it seems?" he asked as he wiped his hands on his shirt. "Let me give you reason to want to stay."
Logan gulped. The request was innocent enough, sure, but there was enough ambiguity in it to give him hope that maybe, just maybe...
"Sure," he agreed. "If that's what you want, then that's what you'll get. But, I'll let you know, you have your work cut out for you."
"Oh, I know," Kendall told him. "But I can be very persuasive. By the end of the summer, you won't want to leave."
"Heh. We'll see."
"By the way, I never got your name," Kendall said as Logan went for the Mustang.
"Oh! It's Logan. Logan Mitchell."
"'Logan,'" Kendall repeated. "I like it. Nice to meet you, Logan."
"Nice to meet you, too, Kendall," Logan replied. "See you around," he said, and he got into the Mustang, cranking up his Fleet Foxes CD and speeding off down the road.
Kendall slowly put his equipment back into the bed of the truck and then set off for home. He wondered how Logan knew his name...probably got it from Hazel. But more than that, he wondered about what the summer would have in store for him.
This is my chance...finally. This guy was sent here for me...I just know it.
NOTE: Make sure you leave a review and let me know what you think so far! A lot of the story is planned out already, but depending on what you all think and want to see, I may make some changes based on your ideas. I will tell you right now, though, it will NOT take a looooong time for these two to get together. This story is less about getting them together and more about what happens when they're together, so like I said, it's very different from "Fragments." Can't wait to see what you all think!