This idea has been floating around in my head, and i finally put it to paper (Or rather computer). Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar
For so long now I thought if my dad accepted me, I'd be happy. I'm back home now, my dad talks to me, he even thinks I'm a hero! Everything should be perfect, right? I should be happy now, but I'm not! I'm angrier than ever and I don't know why.
There's a simple question you need to answer, then. Who are you angry at?
No one. I'm just... angry.
Yeah, who are you angry at, Zuko?
Everyone! I don't know!
Is it Dad?
No, no.
Your uncle?
Me?
No! No, no, no!
Then who? Who are you angry at?
Answer the question, Zuko.
Talk to us!
Come on, answer the question.
Come on, answer it.
I'M ANGRY AT MYSELF!
The fire reared up at him as his unrestrained emotion poured out of him, fueling the red and orange flames. He panted heavily, staring at the now dying coals as the burst of energy left him abruptly. He avoided the eyes of the others; they couldn't help him now. He was broken. He was scarred, and in more ways than one.
He hid his face in his hands, felling his rough scar rub against his calloused palms. He leaned over the railing of the boat, hearing the chatter of the others behind him and dreading what was to come. The night was cool, but the rich air did nothing to calm his nerves.
At times, he had to remind himself to breath. He had to remind himself that he was among friends, that he should be at ease, that this trip would be beneficial and pleasant for him.
But he didn't believe himself.
Katara's soft footsteps caught him off guard. She stood next to him, propping her elbows on the railing like him, looking out onto the calm water. She glanced over and saw his brow furrowed and a slight scowl on his face.
"Hey," she said quietly to him as the boat glided silently through the water, heading towards the cluster of lights in the distance. "Are you excited? It's been a while since we had some time to ourselves, huh?" She flashed him a tentative smile, knowing he was preoccupied and not in the mood to talk. But then again, he was never in the mood to talk.
"Yeah," was his simple reply. "Been a while." He cast his eyes down, watching the reflection of the full moon in the water. She bit her lip and wanted to say more, but then Sokka's voice cut through the peace.
"We're gonna go down to the beach first thing in the morning. I need to recreate my sand masterpiece of Suki that someone destroyed'" Sokka's dry voice made Katara roll her eyes.
"That so-called masterpiece was gonna be destroyed anyways," Toph added. "I couldn't even see it and I thought it was awful." Sokka scowled and Aang laughed.
The six of them were off to Ember Island once more, but this time they hoped it would be more of a vacation. They wouldn't be training, for one thing. And the stay could be as long as they wanted it to be, as Mai had remained behind to watch over the Fire Nation. She had encouraged Zuko to go, as she felt he really needed some rest, away from it all.
"We should get some sleep," Katara told him, gesturing below deck to the rooms. He nodded and reluctantly followed her down the steps, knowing what was to come in the night.
The darkness was suffocating.
In his nightmares, he was but a young boy. He walked down the raised platform, his father's tall figure waiting at the end. In reality, they had exchanged words. But in the nightmare, his father struck him down without making a sound. Zuko had refused to battle his father, and so his father punished him.
Pain. Pain like he had never felt before, searing his face, burning his soul. He lay in agony, waiting, praying for death. Death didn't come that night. And so he relives the day in his dreams, years after it happened. There were times when he could convince himself that he was stronger, that he had moved on. But his subconscious knew better, and still plagued him with nightmares.
He woke with tears soothing his raw and ravaged skin. He cried silently, unabashedly. He had learned early in his life never to make noise when he cried. It made no difference if he sobbed loudly or not; no one would listen. And so he chose not to burden others with his troubles, and he cried without making a sound.
He didn't sleep much anymore. Every time he tried to, that nightmare or a different one would return. So he would sit up all night, creep by the doors of his companions and watch the stars on the ship deck. Sometimes he would practice his fire bending, but often he would get frustrated and tired, so he desisted.
He climbed up the stairs and settled down on the cold panels, feeling the rocking motion of the sea as it pushed and pulled at the ship. He leaned his back against the bannister and looked up at the twinkling night sky. The moon was bright and incandescent, illuminating the sea and the whole boat.
He let his head fall back, resting slightly and comfortably. He fell asleep with his head angled towards the stars and the moon, and for the first night in a long time, he slept peacefully.
Like it? Reviews appreciated!