A/N:
Chapters 1 and 2 are post The Man in the Cell.
Chapters 3 and 4 are post The Wannabe in the Weeds!
Chapter 1:
Angela found Brennan laying on the floor in the middle of the office. Seeing how it was the middle of the night, the entire building was dark except for the candles that were burning on Brennan's desk. Their soft glow had attracted the artists attention. "Sweetie? Are you alright?" She kneeled next to her best friend. Angela became even more worried as she heard her best friends answer.
"I'm not sure, Ange..."
Angela took a deep breath and laid down next to her friend. "Why don't you tell me what you're worrying about, huh? Maybe I can help..." When Brennan didn't say anything for a few minutes, Angela was starting to accept that maybe it was too soon. Maybe...
"There is a line, Ange... Booth says there is a line... We can't cross it. I told him I understand but I don't... Why would he insist that we don't cross that line? There is absolutely no reason to cross it..."
She turned her head to face Angela. "Unless one of us wanted to... But the one who wanted to cross the line and KNEW that they couldn't is the one who would emphasize the existence of that line... Because... Someone who knows they can't cross and didn't want to, they - they wouldn't have the need to emphasize its existence..."
Angela stared back at her best friend with a blank look in her eyes. After a few minutes she spoke up: "Okay, sweetie. SPILL! Tell me what Booth told you. His EXACT words."
So Brennan did.
Booth heard Angela sigh. That stopped him dead in his tracks. He just had a long talk with Rebecca. After he had dropped Parker off, she had invited him in the house. After a few minutes of silence she'd told him that she knew that something was bothering him. After a lot of poking and prodding on her part, he had finally told her about the talk he had had with Brennan. He remembered vividly what had happened next.
Booth ducked his head as her glass missed him by an inch and shattered on the wall behind him.
"YOU IDIOT! God, Seeley! How stupid can you be?" She took a deep breath and sighed. "I saw you when you brought Parker home that day that Epps talked to him! Just like I saw you when I went to the hospital to visit Cam. And I see you today..." She walked over to him and grabbed him by his shoulders, piercing her gaze into his dark eyes. She whispered, because she didn't want Parker to hear this. "You were worried when you found out about Dr. Saroyan. You were angry when you found out about Parker. But Seel... You LEFT the hospital to go protect Dr. Brennan."
He opened his mouth to protest, but a slight shake from Rebecca shut him up.
"Please don't say that you were the only one to go... There were other Agents at her apartment, Seeley... You could've just called... But you didn't. When you figured out that he would be going after Dr. Brennan next, you PANICKED. You panicked Seeley... And you went out to her apartment to make sure that she was safe because you didn't trust anyone else enough to make sure that she wouldn't get hurt." She paused, looking into his eyes, "And I see you now. Seel… you have that lost puppy dog look in your eyes... I KNOW that look... It's the same look Parker has when he comes back when he spend the day with you..." Rebecca paused. "You know what that looks tells me Seeley?"
Booth shook his head.
"Whenever Parker has that look, the one you have in your eyes right now, it tells me that he misses the person that he just left. That he loves that person..."
The silence allowed Booth to let the truth sink in. After a minute, he pulled Rebecca into a hug.
She whispered: "You can't keep her safe forever, Seeley... At one point she is going to get hurt. Do you really think it will hurt less if she doesn't know how you feel about her? Do you really think it will hurt less wondering if she loved you too?"
Booth squeezed Rebecca tighter. "Thanks, Becca...
He moved closer to hear the rest of their conversation.
"How do I fix this Ange? I don't even know..."
"Don't you dare finish that sentence Temperance Brennan! Sweetie... You DO know what it means... At least at what it means to you..." She got up and walked over to the door. Before she opened it she whispered:
"Booth is the one who emphasized it... If you would follow your own theory, you know the one you told me about... Do you think you should emphasize it too?"
Brennan's answer was short and quick. "Yes I do."
Chapter 2:
The moment Booth heard those words, he felt his stomach drop, his heart rate sped up and the only thing he could do was obey the command that his brain was shouting at him: ABORT MISSION I repeat ABORT MISSION! So, he turned around and ran.
That night was the most horrible night of Booth's life.
Angela's question and Bones' answer kept repeating itself into his mind.
Booth is the one who emphasized it... If you would follow your own theory, you know the one you told me about... Do you think you should emphasize it too?
"Yes I do."
Booth is the one who emphasized it... If you would follow your own theory, you know the one you told me about... Do you think you should emphasize it too?
"Yes I do."
Booth is the one who emphasized it... If you would follow your own theory, you know the one you told me about... Do you think you should emphasize it too?
"Yes I do."
Whenever he closed his eyes, the words danced in front of his eyes. Every single sound in his apartment reminded him off the three words that she had said... and the three words that he had been planning to say to her. I love you.
Now, they would never be said. She thought that it was a GOOD IDEA. SHE THOUGHT that it was a GOOD IDEA... and the worst part about it, was that he had emphasized it first...
The following days and weeks weren't much better. Because of the fact that he had to go to therapy neither him or Bones had a chance to tell each other how they truly felt.
When Booth found out that she was dating Sully another sleepless night followed. Actually to come and think of it... He didn't sleep at all until the day that Sully had left her. He had sailed off to see the
world. Without her... That was the reason why he had fallen asleep so easily. He hadn't lost her. She was right there. With HIM in Washington DC. He would get his chance to erase that stupid line...
Just...
Just not yet... not immediately after she'd gotten 'dumped'. He did NOT want to be the 'Rebound guy...'.
Chapter 3
Lying in the hospital bed, going over everything that had happened after he emphasized that damn line, he felt tears trickle down his cheeks. "I screwed up. I shouldn't have waited SOO damn long... If I would've just told her that I LOVE her, than she wouldn't have come running at me. She wouldn't have pushed me down. She wouldn't
have been shot. I would've..." He started mumbling. "Sure, it would have hurt a hell of a lot more than a concussion... but at least... at least I wouldn't feel so damn guilty..."
"MEN!"
Booth was shocked when he heard Angela's voice.
"Seriously, Booth? Do you seriously think that she wouldn't have done what she did if you had told her off your feelings for her?"
Booth looked at her in shock. He shouldn't have been surprised that Angela seemed to know what was going on. After all, she could almost read people as good as he could.
She walked over to him, placed her hand atop of his and said slowly: "She woke up... She's asking... well DEMANDING, that she gets to see you... Since she did have surgery, the doctors told her that she had to wait..." Angela's lips slowly curled into a small smile. "But we know better than that... don't we?"
Booth grinned and nodded.
"Go see her, Booth... And for ALL of our sakes... Don't back out the way you did the first night you wanted to erase the line."
Booth's puzzled look earned him a chuckle.
"Did you really think that I didn't hear you run off?" With that she left the room.
Booth grinned. Leave it too Angela to know exactly what is going on, no matter whether you're aware of it yourself or not... Booth's heart ached when he saw here lying there. It should've been ME lying there...
The moment he walked through the door, Brennan noticed the guilt in his eyes. "Don't."
Booth was shocked. Didn't she want to see me? Why would she send me away? But instead of being honest, he turned around. Ready to run. AGAIN.
"Booth? What are you doing?" Brennan felt a strange panic rushing through her body when she saw him turning around.
He stopped, but didn't turn back to face her."You said 'don't' Bones... So I won't... I'll be in my room. You can find me there if you change your mind... You can come see me anytime you want." When he took a step to the door, he was once again stopped by her voice.
"Booth, wait... I didn't mean to send you away when I said 'Don't'. I meant..." Her voice hitched. "Don't feel guilty. I already feel guilty enough about this for the two of us..."
That statement made Booth turn around. "What do you mean?"
"This is all my fault, Booth... If I hadn't acted so jealous around you whenever Pam was around, then she wouldn't have come to the club to try and kill me. If she wouldn't have come, I wouldn't have been in danger and you wouldn't have to feel the need to jump in front of me. If you hadn't jumped in front of me, I wouldn't have pushed you down.. You see? If I wouldn't have acted jealous around you, you wouldn't have a concussion and I wouldn't have been shot." She looked back up at him with tears in her eyes. "So don't feel guilty Booth, okay? Cause I feel guilty enough for the both of us..."
Booth couldn't believe his own ears. "Bones? What are you talking about? This is NOT your fault! Is it your fault that she stalked me? NO! Is it your fault that she thought that you and I were a couple? Were something to be jealous about? NO! Is it your fault that she felt the need to take out the competition? NO!" With each answered question he took a step closer towards her. When he was standing besides the bed he had an epiphany.
Chapter 4:
Standing there next to her bed, with her in it, hooked up to every machine possibly, Booth felt paralyzed by pain and fear... It wasn't his concussion that was hurting him. It was the knowledge that he had risked his life for her because he loved her. And she had done the same for him. He could've lost her. She could've lost him. And he didn't even know if she saved his life, because of an "anthropological inevitability" like, 'You take care of you family.' Or if she did it out of love...
Rebecca's words hit him hard and made him gasp for air.
"Do you really think it will hurt less if she doesn't know how you feel about her? Do you really think it will hurt less wondering if she loved you too?"
He now knew the answer. NO, it wouldn't hurt him less... In fact it hurt a hell of a lot more...
"Booth? Are you okay?"
He sat down on her bed and reached for her hand. "Don't... Temperance." He looked up at her face. "Don't feel guilty. This is my fault. If I would've just told you this weeks, months ago... Then maybe I could've stopped you from getting jealous of Pam. Maybe I would've seen the signs that you and Sweets talked to me about... Maybe..." His voice hitched, stopping him from saying anything else.
Like he had done, the day that he told her that there was more than ONE sort of family, she lifted his chin, bringing his eyes back to hers. "When did you want to come to see me and why didn't you?"
Her voice was soft and caring and Booth was extremely relieved that he couldn't find anything accusing or condescending in her tone. It gave him the courage to finally answer truthfully. "I came to your office the night after I "Emphasized" the line... But I heard Angela asking you whether you thought you should emphasize it too..." His voice grew shaky as he continued. "You answered yes... I was coming to tell you that I didn't WANT that stupid line to hold me back. That I wanted to cross it. I just knew that I couldn't... We couldn't... And that night my worst nightmare was confirmed. YOU couldn't... and WOULDN'T..." He took a deep breath trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. All his efforts proved to be futile when he heard her next sentence.
"Why did you tell me to go away with Sully if that's the case?"
At that point he didn't care anymore what he said to her in order to save their partnership. She would NEVER want anything beyond a professional relationship. And he just didn't know if it was enough anymore. So he was honest... "I LOVE you, Bones. And when you love someone you want what's best for them. I thought Sully was making you happy... You SHOULD have gone with him, Bones. If you had, you wouldn't be lying in a hospital, healing from a gunshot wound. You would be safe... In the arms of the man that you love..." He paused. He took a deep breath and started speaking again. "In the arms..." But she loudly interrupted him.
"Booth! Hug me?" Her eyes were pleading.
Thinking it was the last chance he would ever get to wrap her in his arms and pull her body close to his, he bend down and wrapped her in a tight hug.
"Booth?" She whispered in his ear. When he nodded she continued. "NOW I am in the arms of the man I love... That night what you overheard in my office? I had told Angela that I suspected you to emphasize the line to remind yourself that this... us... was impossible... That you said that because you never wanted my life to be in danger because I love you..." She slowly pulled back with tears in her eyes. "Can't you see I want the same for you? I LOVE you, Booth... I want what is best for the man that I love. That's why I didn't leave with Sully..."
Booth felt the depth of the love she had just told him about, when he looked into her blue eyes. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned down and right before his lips touched hers, he whispered: "I will always love you, Bones... Come to this side off the line... It's safe here... I'll keep you safe... I promise..."
She looked at him and whispered her answer:"I know you will... but Booth? Can't you see? I'm already there..."
When he heard those words, his lips enveloped hers. His arms wrapped tighter around her waist and when she shifted, making room for him, he crawled in next to her in that hospital bed, finally able to relax with the knowledge that she was safe and loved. And that he was loved in return.
The End!
A/N: Let me know what you thought!
Love, hugs and kisses for readers and reviewers!
WHAK Junesse