A/N: Set somewhere in the earlier seasons, you decide when. This is really, really AU.
It was a day so sensationally unspectacular that no one would remember it later on. Neither warm nor cold, the sun occasionally peaked around the clouds to lighten up the mood of everyone happy enough to catch some warmth. When Niles Crane walked into his brother's apartment, he felt himself humming absent-mindedly. He had been to the opera the night before and every part of him was still abuzz with the music. His insides were singing and had anyone asked him he would have gladly said he was happy. Maris had told him a while ago that they were no longer working as a couple. They had never worked, Niles knew now. But it didn't matter. With Maris compliant in the divorce, he was more or less a free man. He hadn't seen his soon to be ex-wife in a while and he found he didn't miss her.
Freedom however was a curious thing. And there was this one matter that left a dark shadow over his happiness. Daphne. Or rather his unshared feelings for her. His cowardice was everything that stood in his way that day. Just a normal day, a normal morning. So there he was; in his brother's apartment happily bouncing about, because finally this was the moment. The moment he was ready to tell Daphne how he felt about her. Having worked around it for some years now, Niles knew his family's time table. No one would be there but Daphne. His father was at the park with Eddie and Frasier was already on his way to work. Lucky for him, Daphne was always glad to see him.
"Oh hello, Dr. Crane! Come in. I'm afraid your father and brother aren't here." She was wearing sweats, because she always did when she did her chores around the house. Her hair was up in a messy pony tail and yet to Niles she looked as beautiful as ever.
"Actually, I came to talk to you."
"To me?" She turned to him holding a laundry basket. Immediately Niles thought back to the first time he'd seen her. A moment so eerily similar to this, but he had no time to lose himself in memories. As soon as he did, he would lose his courage as he had so many times before.
"Yes, Daphne. You see… there is something I've been wanting to tell you for a while now." Her eyes softened and the tiniest of smiles played around her lips. To him that was a good sign and his nervousness almost subsided. Except that she was still standing there, waiting. He couldn't do it like that.
"Could we sit down for a moment?" He asked her with an awkward chuckle.
"Of course, Dr. Crane." She put down the laundry basket and sat down on Frasier's beloved couch. Niles' knees almost gave in as he sat next to her. He was glad to no longer be standing. Knowing himself, fainting was never out of the question. Especially since he was going to leave his comfort zone. But in the end he hoped it was all worth it.
"Well, I don't know where to begin."
"The beginning is always a good start." Daphne told him.
"You're so beautiful." Niles accidentally blurted. He felt his face burn up; this wasn't how he had planned to do this.
"Thank you, ," Daphne giggled and it sounded heavenly in Niles' ears, "but that is probably not what you came here to talk to me about?"
"Actually, it is part of it." Her eyes grew wide and Niles realized there was no way out of it anymore. He had taken the first step, finally, and all he had to do now was finish it. He felt like a marathon runner, who was almost at the finish line. It was clearly visible at the horizon. Just a few more steps.
"I-I… Frasier and dad always said this was some kind of crush," he glanced at her to gauge her reaction, "but Daphne what I feel for you is so much more." She gasped next to him, but didn't say anything and so he just went on before he lost his courage.
"What I'm trying to say here is… Daphne, I love you. I am in love with you." When the words were finally out, Niles felt empty and light-headed. And free. He had said them out loud! Not just in the sanctity of his home or in front of Frasier and his father. Whatever happened now, he had said the words. The first wave of enthusiasm faded as Niles realized that Daphne had not said a word in return. She hadn't even moved. She stared at him and he knew that look. He had seen it a million time before, but he had never wanted to know it from her eyes.
"You-you-you don't have to say anything." His words tumbled out quickly.
" …" Daphne began, but her voice cracked. She looked everywhere, but at him. While he knew it wasn't humanly possible, Niles felt his heart break. Maybe all this time Frasier had been right. His big brother had only tried to protect him from this. But Niles was no stranger to rejection. Only he wasn't sure he could deal with this particular one.
"It's ok. Forget I ever said anything."
"I don't want to forget it." She put a hand on his arm and it felt warm and soft. It felt as if it belonged there. Hope filled him as he turned to look at her. There were tears in his eyes and she looked almost blurry to him; he could no longer read her expression.
"Is there- do you think- you and I-?"
"Dr. Crane, I'm flattered," he turned away from her, but she gently touched his chin and made him watch as she ribbed his heart out of his chest, "but… I-I don't feel the same for you." Suddenly her hand on his arm no longer felt good. It seemed to burn his skin. Every fiber of his being was on fire. Except for his heart. Broken and alone, useless in his chest it sat there beating strongly. How could it go on beating, how could he go on breathing after all of this?
"I-I understand."
"No, you don't. You are one of the most important people in me life. I love you, Dr. Crane. As a friend. Sometimes you remind me of me own brothers back in England."
"Daphne, please stop."
"I listened to what you had to say," she told him gently, "Just because I don't feel the same for you… I don't want to lose you as me friend. I need you, you know."
Before all of this, Niles hadn't known how much words could hurt. They were like a dagger. Each syllable another stab, another hit. Daphne chose her words carefully, but they still hurt. Everything was out of place and it made Niles want to crawl under the piano. But he had to be a man about this. After all, this wasn't just some woman he had met at a bar. This was Daphne. She was the woman who had shown him how beautiful a person could be. Inside and outside. Because of her his life had made a turn for the better. Even though the pain seemed unbearable at the moment he knew that pain had one redeeming quality: with time it grew less urgent and eventually faded. In the end he would be left with an invisible scar that bore witness to his love for her. The thing he could hold on to however was this friendship they had built over time. Right now it might not be what he wanted, but it was a kind of love as well.
"You couldn't lose me if you tried." He finally told her. After all, it was the truth.
"Thank you, Dr. Crane. I'm sorry I- I wish I could return your feelings. But I know one day you will find someone who can." Slowly, she got up from the couch. The sudden distance felt wrong. She picked up the laundry basket again and just the banality of that situation angered him. This was truly a day like any other.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell my brother or my father." A man beaten, a man despaired. He didn't need his family to make fun of him as well. Not yet. He would tell them when he was ready.
"Of course not." Right before she left the apartment, Daphne turned to Niles once more. She obviously tried to find the right words, as she had done before. Paradoxically, it made him love her even more. She could have laughed at him, or called him crazy for thinking he'd ever have a chance with her. But that wasn't Daphne. She let him down easy, because she wasn't vindictive; she wasn't like Maris.
" ? "
"Hm?"
"I thought it was very brave of you to-to tell me about your feelings," he huffed bitterly, "I just wanted you to know that." Without another word Daphne left Niles alone. For a moment he wallowed in the silence surrounding him. Then he got up and crawled under the piano. He didn't cry, he didn't let his broken heart take over. Just another unspectacular day. Outside he heard voices and recognized one of them as being his father's. There was no strength left in him to leave his safe haven. Not just yet.
"Niles? What happened?" It was Eddie who found him first, sniffing at him curiously. Niles looked at his father and cracked a sad smile.
"Nothing, dad. Nothing at all."
END