Hello there my sexy kittens! This is my first ever one-shot! I thought of it while I was playing on my online game. I came up with idea pretty quick and wrote it all in one day!

Its only 4,485 words but hey, I tried, right? I wrote all of this on my iPad, sent it through spellcheck but if I did miss something tell me!

alright, my kittens, I won't waste anymore of your time!

Leave me a review, my kittens~!

"Y-young master, the doctor is here. " Mey-Rin said with a quiet squeal in her voice as she peeked through the door of the office her master worked in.

"Ah, yes. Send him in. " Ciel said, pushing his quill on to the desk, rising from his seat. "Bring him to the library, I will be waiting for him there. "

Mey-Rin nodded, glancing at Sebastian who held his usual smirk and a pot their Lord's tea. She blushed lightly and walked away, shutting the door behind her.

Sebastian stared at his stretching master. He smirked lightly, a snicker almost brushing past his lips.

"What is so funny to you now, Sebastian?" Ciel demanded, hearing the half snicker from his butler. He crossed his arms, looking at the demon with a dark look gracing his always lovely features.

"Nothing, my lord. Nothing. What. So. Ever. " Sebastian said, smiling all the same as he did the words with almost a rise in his voice.

"Don't think I have forgotten last night, you idiot. I'm not forgetful. " Ciel huffed angrily.

"Honestly, young master. I would never imagine you being forgetful! Of course, there was the time you 'forgot' to sign about the issue in France. And the other time when you 'forgot' your manners to another noble. And-" "I get it!" Ciel snapped, straightening his clothes and heading to the door with Sebastian following with the master's teacup and the tray of Teaness, complete with the pot of tea, another teacup upside down on a saucer, sugar, milk in cute little silver containers, and three silver shined to perfection spoons.

"The first time, Elizabeth came over to be a pain so you cannot criticize me for that and the other time...that was your fault anyway!" Ciel sold angrily.

"How so, my Lord?"

"You bought from the girl's catalog again! And I know you did it on purpose! And that horrid, ugly thing was no nobleman! He was looking at me like I was a piece of meat in front of a starved wolf! And you know he was!" Ciel said, crossing his arms as he walked as his Shadow followed him.

"Though I do admit he was being incredibly rude to the Young Master but there was no need to waste a cup of freshly hot, steamy tea that I had to boil over and over again because you said it wasn't hot enough, only to pour it over the man's crotch. " Sebastian said, his tone turning stern.

Ciel smirked, remembering that. That day had ended well. He glanced lightly over his shoulder with that smirk on his face at his butler.

"Oh please. You knew of my intentions and you simply encouraged them. You even whispered 'Aim for the head.' when you handed me my tea. Don't portray innocence when you clearly are not, Sebastian. Of course, I aimed for the crotch though. " Ciel said, scoffing, his anger dimming rather quickly.

"Why is that, my lord?" His loyal butler asked, smirking because he knew that lovely answer of his Master.

"I aim for the crotch to insure that he will not have another generation of ugly, horrid, unmannerly, perverse children to affect this already awful world. We do not need anymore shits in this world." Ciel said, his cursing not surprising the butler one bit.

"My lord, your profanity is just shameless. " His butler tsked lightly but along with a smirk on his face.

"I only use such words when I'm trying to make a point. Don't tell me what I'm saying does not make sense!" Ciel said.

"Of course it does, my lord! But you are working rather slow on getting rid of the 'shitty' future generation. And I highly doubt that the hot tea would make him sterile. " Sebastian said. Ciel scowled at that, huffing as his heels clinked the floors.

"Hm. Maybe next a swift kick and a cup thrown there will change that. "

"If you are ever invited there again, that is. "

"Oh please, you know I will be. "

They reached the library, the doctor waiting for them there.

"Ah, Ciel Phantomhive! My, you look a bit taller today then last time I was here!" Dr. John said, smiling at the younger boy.

' It's really all the heels work. ' Sebastian thought with a wide smirk.

Ciel noticed the smirk and held back the urge to flick his butler's forehead. Hard. He could do it later.

"So, what will be today's medical examination, Dr. John?" Ciel asked, looking at the older man with dull, bored eyes.

"Today will be for your eye. Nothing more, nothing less. " The doctor said with a smile. Ciel forced a small smile.

"Good, then this will be over quickly. I have plenty of work to occupy my schedule. " Ciel said, walking over to the doctor. Dr. John patted the leather chair, signaling Ciel to sit. Ciel complied, sitting down, his hands together near his knees, looking quite bored.

"Alright, this will end quickly. " Dr. John said, smiling brightly.

20 minutes later.

"Try a few each day and slowly increase how much you put in there. " Dr. John said.

"Yes, sir. " Ciel said, glancing at Sebastian. Sebastian blinked twice and Ciel looked away with a frown.

"Dr. John. May I ask you a question before you go?" Ciel asked, remaining seated as Dr. John placed his things back into his bag.

"Of course, Ciel. "

"It's about what adults do. You know...the birds and the bees. " Dr. John looked at Ciel startled but nodded slowly.

"Can two women do such a thing?" The doctor backed up a bit but answered with a small blush.

"Well, in a way, they can. But it takes flexibility and a special object in both of them. " Dr. John answered.

"Would they get pregnant though?" Ciel asked, looking very curious.

"Of course not. Only a man and a women can have children together. It is impossible for two women to have children together unless they adopted. " Dr. John said, waving his hand in the air to the side, shaking his head.

"Is it possible for two men to do it, though?" The doctor stared at Ciel for a good moment, wondering if the boy was serious. Obviously, he was when he spoke up again.

"I have been reading an odd book lately about this sort of thing. I didn't understand it so I wanted to ask a few questions to a profession about it. " Ciel explained with a sight not looking the least bit ashamed or embarrassed.

"I see. " Dr. John said slowly, nodding.

"So? Answer the question!" Ciel said impatiently.

"Of course. Um, yes it is possible for two men to do..it but no, neither one can get pregnant. " Dr. John said, looking around nervously, obviously never expecting Ciel to ask these sort of things.

"How?"

"How what?" Dr. John asked.

"How would they do it?" Ciel snapped impatiently.

"Oh! Well...do you know what lubricant is?" Dr. John asked slowly.

"Isn't that, that jelled stuff that some couples use during...intercourse?" Dr. John nodded.

"Yes, it is. Males would use it for intercourse as well. One would dominate and the other would bottom. "

"I don't understand...how would they do it with it?!" Ciel said, obviously getting annoyed by the conversation.

"My Young Master. I believe this a question that Mey-Rin should answer. She's standing right outside the door with Bard and Finny. " Sebastian voiced loudly.

"They heard all that?!" Ciel said, jumping up, suddenly embarrassed. His cheeks stained dark red.

"I believe so, young master. " Sebastian said softly with a sigh. They could hear chatter and footsteps running down the hall.

"Sebastian, escort Dr. John out and bring Mey-Rin here, and keep those two in halls. " Ciel snarled, crossing his arms.

"Yes, My lord. Come, Dr. John. Your carriage awaits you. " Dr. John nodded, quickly following the butler.

Moments later found Ciel and Mey-Rin sitting alone in the library. She fidgeted with her skirt and her hair, obviously nervous in being in the same room as well as alone with the Young Master.

"Mey-Rin!" Ciel suddenly barked with crossed arms an his legs crossed over another.

"Y-Yes, my lord?" She asked nervously, her cheeks slightly tainted red.

It didn't match the redness that went up to Ciel's face.

"S-Stop acting so nervous. I'm letting you off the hook if you answer my questions. " Ciel said, his voice quieter as he rubbed his neck with his hand.

Mey-Rin felt her heart soften lightly.

'He's still so young...he doesn't know these things because he has no one to ask them to. He needs us. ' Mey-Rin thought, her teeth sinking into her lower lip lightly.

"Ask away, young master. " Mey-Rin said, a light smile on her face.

"...h-how to men have intercourse with one another?" Ciel asked.

"Well...young master. First is lubricant as said. Then along with it, foreplay. " Mey-Rin said, a small blush growing on her cheeks.

"Foreplay?" Ciel asked curiously. This really caused Mey-Rin to blush.

"The one who will be on top will...put his fingers in the one who will be bottom's...bottom. " Mey-Rin said slowly, cupping her flushed face, trying to calm the blush.

"Doesn't it hurt?" Ciel asked, his voice getting shyer and quieter.

"Quite, my lord. But only at first or if done correctly. There are many ways it can be painless. It...it might even feel good. But I wouldn't know what it would, seeing as I'm a girl. " Mey-Rin giggled lightly, cupping his cheeks harder.

"I see...then what happens?" Ciel asked.

"Um...the one who's on top will stick his...you know...into the bottom's bottom. " Mey-Rin said softly.

"Oh...oh! I see. Then it's like sleeping with a woman, sort of, right?" Ciel asked.

"Sort of, yes, my lord. Of course, it will hurt, more likely sting, the bottom male some, depending on the size of the top male. But it will soon pass. I have heard some from males in town that a male's bum is better than a female's. but of course, I wouldn't know for sure. " Mey-Rin said, her flushed face really dark now.

"Oh...okay. Also, do you know anything about eyedrops?" Mey-Rin nodded, sighing with relief at the more innocent question.

"How do you put them in?" Ciel asked, his blush also gone now.

"You open the eye you need to put them in, with two fingers to hold it open. . But be careful not to touch the eye itself. You lean back and pour a few drops of the eyedrops into your eye and it may or not sting, depending on how sensitive the eye is. I have known this one girl who just leans back and drops some eyedrops in her eyes easy peesy. "Ciel nodded slowly.

"I see. Thank you for answering my questions. " Ciel said, sitting up straight.

"Sebastian, bring Bard and Finny in here!" Ciel demanded loudly, causing Mey-Rin to jump at the younger sudden loudness.

Bard and Finny came in, looking nervous. They stood on either side of Mey-Rin, looking incredibly nervous indeed.

"Since you three think its okay to listen in on your Master's meetings or check-ups, you will be punished for it!" Ciel said, his foot slamming down angrily as he sat normally.

"W-We're sorry, young-" "Save your bloody apologies!" Ciel snapped. " I have separate punishments for each of you. "

"Finny, you are forbidden to work in the garden till the end of the week. You will help around the mansion with Sebastian. Bard, your flame thrower and all the other fire things, including the cannon, will be confiscated for the week and you will not be allowed in the kitchenI should have already taken them away in the first place. Mey-Rin..." Ciel said, turing his gaze to her.

Her eyes widen behind her thick glasses, seeing the pleading, childish look suddenly cross her master's face but for a mere moment.

"I want you to help in the kitchen with Sebastian. " Everyone bowed their head in shame and their faces covered in horror at their punishments.

"You are dismissed. " Ciel said, waving them off. They hanged their heads low, walking out of the library.

Sebastian walked in, his smirk bright and wide.

"Young Master, don't you think you were a bit cruel?"

"They needed to learn not to eavesdrop on their master. It's a horrible habit a Phantomhive servant should never have. " Ciel growled angrily.

"I meant for me. " Sebastian chuckled, a sweat drop dripping down his face. You're sending two out of three idiots to work with me more. This is awful my lord!"

"Hush. Finny will need to learn to...not be so...what's the word...easy-going? No...he needs to be more careful with things. And you need to teach him that, Sebastian. If Agni was able to put them to work on the curry not too long ago, you can teach Finny to carry a box of breakables. " Ciel snapped impatiently.

"How did you know about that?" Sebastian asked, a bit surprised.

"Soma told me. Also, what if I sent you away to London for a day to work on something? Or I feel generous and actually let you have a day off? Mey-Rin will need to learn to prepare my tea correctly and carry plates. Without dropping them!" Ciel said.

"But young-" "Questioning my words?! Do you want to get punished too?" Ciel snarled, his eye flaring dangerously. Sebastian paused, a hand over his heart almost an apology before saying with a big smirk.

"Yes. "

Somewhere in the mansion.

Mey-Rin fixed her glasses, looking around the kitchen. She jumped hearing a yelling scream, a crash, and something thudding against the wall repeatedly. She listened for a moment, freezing in her spot before the kitchen door open.

Her mouth opened in a gasp, seeing Sebastian.

His tie was loose and his tail suit was messed up and filthy with tea, sugar, and milk. He had a big red hand print with a scratch on his left cheek and a bruise on his forehead.

"M-Mr. Sebastian! A-Are you okay?!" Mey-Rin asked, running over to the man. He produced a tray in front of him, stopping her advancements towards him.

"First order of business..." Sebastian said calmly. " Take this tray to the sink. Wash the cups, the spoons, everything, including the tray. Dry very well and put it away. " Sebastian ordered.

"Do not drop or crack anything, Mey-Rin. I am extremely..." He let out a breathy sigh. " Extremely displeased and if you make me anymore so by breaking something, you do not want to see me when that happens. " Sebastian said.

Mey-Rin nodded slowly, taking the tray.

"I have to go get cleaned up. If Finny or Bard come in here, asking what the racket was, just say it was the Young Master. " Sebastian said, cracking his neck.

"Wait...Mr. Sebastian. " Mey-Rin said before he could walk out. "Are you alright?"

Sebastian blinked for a moment but nodded.

"Of course. My head just hurts some. "

"D-Do you mind telling me what happen up there?" Mey-Rin asked.

"I slipped my tongue, Mey-Rin. I said something I shouldn't of and the master did what he did. " Sebastian answered.

"What he do?" Mey-Rin asked, notching tea and wet sugar pour down Sebastian's neck.

"Well, first he slapped me, with the ring hand as well, slammed his cup of tea as well as the whole pot, with sugar and milk on my head and then grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head into...the chair a few times for good measure. Then he lectured me and told me to clean up and clean up the mess in the library "

"O-Oh my...I didn't know the young master was violent!" Sebastian grinned.

"Oh, Mey-Rin. You really don't. You, Finny and Bard really don't know how...violent the young master gets with me. " Sebastian chuckled.

"A-Arent you mad at him?" Sebastian shook his head.

"Not really. I deserved it. Anyway, anymore questions?"

"One more. Where is the young master now?"

Sebastian's eyes were covered by his bangs, a smile curling on his lips.

"He's taking a small bath by himself and going to take a nap for a time...that's all. " Sebastian said, his voice seemingly darker for an odd reason.

"Excuse me. " Sebastian said, walking away.

"O-Oh my..." Mey- Rin stuttered. She placed the tray on the counter next to the sink, her legs trembling.

"Mey-Rin! Are you alright?! What was all that racket?!" Bard asked, running in with Finny on his heels.

"T-The Young Master's punishment to Sebastian..." Mey-Rin said slowly.

"What? You aren't making much sense, Mey-Rin. " Bard said, dabbing his cigeratte.

"Sebastian just came down covered in tea, sugar, milk, a red hand print with a scratch on his face. He said he was punished by the Young Master. " Mey-Rin said, her head nodding as she spoke.

"You can't be serious?! The young master punishing Sebastian?! With violence? That's absurd!" Bard said, shaking his head.

"Do not talk so casually of this, Mey-Rin. " Sebastian said, entering the room, freshly clean of the dirt but his hand print and scratch still on his face.

"...oh my god. " Bard said, Finny too stunned to say anything.

"Do not think at the Young Master is cruel or anything, you three. He was insulted by my words and took actions in order to punish me. I now must apologize to him when he wakes up from his nap. In the mean time, Finny, go and beat some flour bags outside. Don't break them open again. Bard, polish the dining room table. Mey-Rin, you know your job. I will be in the library if needed. "

"And I better not be. " Sebastian said, a dark aura surrounding his words as he left.

Everyone thought one thing.

'We're screwed. '

Later that night, after dinner and Ciel had gone to bed.

Mey-Rin and Finny crept around the servants quarters. They were talking in hush whispers, heading to the kitchen for a small snack.

They jumped as they rounded the corner, Sebastian's light still on and shining under the door and a small crack in the door.

"I thought he was asleep at this time!" Mey-Rin whispered.

"As did I!" Finny replied. They crept quieter, trying to sneak past the door.

"Be still. " Sebastian's voice rang from behind the door, causing them both to jump in surprise. They were about to answer it but was surprised again.

"I'm trying, you dog! " It was the Master's voice! Ciel was down in Sebastian's room!

"Young master, please stop moving. It's making this much harder than it has to be. "

"Shut up! I'm not moving!"

"Good, young master. Now lie back...that's good. Does this hurt?"

"Some. But I suppose I should get use to it. We will be doing this every night of course...Right?"

"Of course, young master! I'm honored you'd want to go I to the activity with me. "

"Shut up and move your fingers. "

Mey-Rin and Finny exchanged looks of shock. They almost squealed, giving away their place when Bard snuck up behind them. They kept quiet, getting Bard to be quiet as well.

"N-Ngh.."

"Does it hurt?"

"Y-Yeah. C-could you not do it so hard? It's starting to really screw with me. "

"Yes, master. "

"A-ah! Bastard, I said not so hard! Damn it, get those fingers away from me for a moment! Jesus. It hurts like crazy now!"

"I apologize, young master. I forgot you have...very...sensitive skin. "

"Oh hush. "

"Now, young master, what would you like me to do next?"

"Okay, now get that bottle and come on this bed with me. Yeah. Use your finger again. Come on, I know you could hear Mey-Rin talk about this!"

Mey-Rin blushed darkly, her mouth and nose covered and Finny and Bard looked at each other horrified.

"S-Slower...agh! Fucker!"

"I'm sorry, young master. "

"Not that much! You'll use up the whole bottle!"

"How's this?"

"Fine. Okay...do it. "

There were sounds of thumps against the walls, beats on a soft surface and Bard's face was fuming red while Finny was paler. Mey-Rin was covering her face with a handkerchief as her nose wouldn't stop bleeding.

"Y-You...you're..ow! Ow! Ow! Damn it! It stings! Ow! Stop! Not so hard! Sebastian! You motherfucker, you're hurting me! Let me go! Damn you! Let me go!"

"Young master, I almost had it!"

"You fat lair! Jesus, are you blind and mad?! Try it again! But this time..not so rough, okay? You know...I'm sensitive and this hurts. "

"I'd expect it to, my lord. This is your first time, after all..."

"Shut up and move! "

"Yes, my lord. "

"...Ngh...Ngh! Ngh! Fucker! You're hurting me again! S-Stop it! Stop it! Damn it, stop it! S-Sebastian!"

"I apologize...so much, my lord. "

"You got it all over my face! "

"You were moving too much, my lord! I squeezed a little too hard, I suppose. "

"No, really? Gee, what gave you that idea?!"

"Wait young master, you're not done yet!"

"Screw you!"

Mey-Rin was biting and chewing on her apron, Finny was zoning out a bit and Bard was plugging his ears.

"What did you say, Sebastian?...could you say it again?"

There was a few whispers before the door slammed open and Sebastain stood there.

"You three! What are you doing up at this hour!" Sebastian snarled. Mey-Rin's blood was pouring through her apron. Bard and Finny both looked pale and Finny looked like he was traumatized.

"M-Mr. Sebastian!" Mey-Rin said, behind her apron.

"You three, get in here!" Ciel's voice demanded from inside the room. Sebastian yanked then by their collars, shoving them in the room. Their eyes widen at the sight before them.

Ciel looked perfectly normal. His face wasn't heated up at all, no sweating, just a very wet face. He was sitting on Sebastian's bed, a bottle in his hands, though he was in his pjs.

"What the hell is you threes problem with eavesdropping on your master?!" Ciel snarled angrily. All three looked startled at Ciel.

"Why are you looking at me like you've seen a ghost? And Mey-Rin stop that nosebleed already. " Ciel demanded.

"Y-Young master...why are you down here?" Finny said quietly.

"In Sebastian's room none the less?" Bard asked, Mey-Rin too busy about to faint of blood loss.

"I was helping the young master with his eyedrops. " Sebastian said, still in butler clothes. "The doctor ordered that the young master put eyedrops in his eye because it was looking a bit dry. I was merely helping him. "

"E-Eyedrops?!" They all shouted, clearly surprised.

"Yes, you fools. " Ciel said angrily. "I came down here to Sebastian to get his help with the eyedrops. Sebastian couldn't hear me from my room so I came to him. What did you think we were doing?!"

"B-But...the fingers! The bottle!" Bard stuttered out. Ciel and Sebastian looked at each other curiously for a moment.

"We were testing out on opening my eye before putting the drops in. We also had to do my other eye. The bottle is this...my eyedrops. " Ciel said, shaking the bottle, squishing noise could be heard from it.

"Of course, this bloody clumsy bastard used up half the bottle to put it on my face!" Ciel yelled, glaring at Sebastian.

"I apologized my lord! Ill get some more of it tomorrow, I promise!" Sebastian said.

"Whatever. You three, back to your rooms! I'll deal with you three tomorrow! I have some other matters to speak with Sebastian. If I find that you three are eavesdropping, I will punish you more servilely. Now get out!" Ciel shouted out. The clumsy trio stumbled, running out of the room, each slamming their doors shut behind them.

"Honestly. " Ciel groaned, falling back against the bed. Sebastian shut the door, a small click of door being heard.

"Young master, I believe you owe me something. " Sebastian chuckled lightly.

Ciel sat up, glaring at Sebastian.

"You cheated. I don't know how but you cheated!" Ciel accused.

"Now, Young Master, that's not what a good sport does! How rude of you to suggest such a thing. " Sebastian gasped, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Serious question first. Did you clean up the stains in the library?" Ciel asked.

"Of course, young master! I always follow your orders." Sebastian chuckled.

"Alright then. Sit down. "Ciel said, standing up and moving to the side. "Sit down on the bed. "

"Yes, my lord. " Sebastian said, shrugging off his coat.

"I can't believe I lost to you.." Ciel mumbled, watching the butler put away his coat.

"I think you enjoy losing, Young Master. " Sebastian chuckled lightly. "Especially with what the loser most of the time has to do. " He drifted over, slipping his shoes and socks off and sat down on the bed, spreading his legs loosely.

"Fuck you. " Ciel grumbled, getting on his knees in front of Sebastian. He nuzzled his face in between Sebastian's legs, nuzzling the man's crotch.

"You and I already have, my lovely master. " Sebastian smirked, his pants growing tighter.

"You suck, Sebastian. " Ciel grumbled. Sebastian frowned, reaching in between his legs and pulled his zipper down, unbuttoning the top and grabbed Ciel by the back of his head. He pushed the boy's face into his crotch smirking.

"I believe, young master, you're suppose to be~" Sebastian chuckled out.

"Wait a minute!" Ciel snapped, pulling his head back. "Did they believe the story earlier? About your punishment?"

"They took it to heart, Young Master. " Ciel sighed with relief. "They didn't suspect we had discriminated the library. "

Ciel's face turned a dark red in both anger and embarrassment.

"S-Shut you pervert!"

"I didn't expect we'd be doing it as such for the tray of your tea to fall upon me though. And you slapping me. "

"I really, really didnt mean to! It was an accident. I freaked out when the tea thing fell and...it just happened. I didn't expect you to go all ape shit on me though. " Ciel mumbled, his hand tickling Sebastian's thigh gently.

"Would you like for me go 'ape shit' on you now or are you going to be a good boy and do the winner of the bet a favor?" Sebastian smirked as Ciel pouted.

"I expect Mey-Rin and Finny sort of but you really got me there at Bard. " Ciel mumbled, leaning forward.

"Lets just forget the day, young master. " Sebastian said with a big, evil smile.

"And hope the night never ends~"

Fun time with the Author~!

Haha, trolled ya'll. Or at least go close to it. Not really. Anyway, if you guys enjoyed it, please leave me a review and if you have questions, I'll edit this and answer them right down here so check every now and again, k?

I may or may not make a sequel one-shit but its just a lemon. You know, what happens right before Ciel gives Sebastian a BJ.

Neko Ciel: Whats a BJ? Is that Banana Jelly, like in a sandwich?

Neko Ciel, you're suppose to be in A Dirty Little Kitten's Dirty Little Secret! Not here where your innocence could get smushed. Go back there right now mister!

Neko Ciel: Aw...-jumps through portal-

Alright, who left the canon portal open again?

Pure: -pokes head through- hey there, remember me? Yeah, are you ever going to finish our story and start on the prequel with Dark and Me?

Get back into Ciel Phantomhive's Stupid Coronation! Ill get there when I get there! -pushes Pure back into portal and flips off switch on the Canon Portal-

Okay, no more reminders in a one-shot expect a lot of whoring my other stories out to others. :D All well. I do that.

Okay guys, leave me a review and let me know if you want a sequel to this one-shot filled with yaoi and lemon?

Alright, leave me a review guys!

See ya later, Alligators!