Hi guys, this is my first fanfiction on this account, so I hope you guys like it! I wish they had a Glee Project subcategory or something so I could post it there, but they don't and I'm forced to post it as a Glee fic. So, sorry to all those not wanted a TGP fiction, but that's what this is. It also contains boy love, so if you don't like DO NOT read any further. I only want con crit in ways of negative reviewing. Because, really, who wants flamers? ^^;
I'm sorry I'm a bit rusty at writing, so I apologise if it sucks I just really wanted to write something for the small portion of people who enjoy Cameron Mitchell x Damian McGinty. There are so cute together that I really couldn't resist. Also, I'm going to be using a song at the end of this fic, some of the lyrics are in the titles, but they're VERY broadly used lyrics so anyone who can guess which song I'm gonna use gets brownie points!
Title: The Look in Your Eyes.
Author: Gleekozoid
Warnings: Slash, a tiny bit of using God's name in vain. But mostly SLASH. Don't like don't read! ^^ Also a little bit of hating on Alex and Lindsay, sorry. And copious amounts of calling Damian a leprechaun, for fun. XD English spellings of things. I no American! D8
Pairings: Cameron x Damian, or Dameron as DarrenCrissWhore from YT has dubbed it. :) And I am yet undecided if I should add a little Samuel x Hannah, because I'm finding it oddly cute writing their friendship. Opinions, guys?
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When Cameron Mitchell first realised he was gay, it was a MAJOR culture shock. "Oh god, oh god, I'm going to hell! Why why why?" He curled up in the foetal position and rocked, clutching at his head to prevent tears that were threatening to fall from the view of inquisitive eyes. He was well aware he looked crazy, but then, he as certain he was.
"Cameron?" Oh god no. Leave me alone, he thought. He slowly looked up into the eyes of one Damian McGinty, the younger boy giving him a concerned look. It was his fault, oh god it was his fault. With his hearty Irish accent, and his sexy little laugh and oh god he was doing it again. He was going to burn in hell, and he was going to damn well LIKE it.
It all started a couple of fateful weeks ago, during their 'Mad World' shoot, when Damian had suddenly blurted in a soft tone, "I think I like boys."
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Everyone stared at the Irish boy, stunned. His pale skin had gone a wonderful cherry colour. "God damn it, I said that out loud…?" He looked sheepish, with an innocence only he could pull off.
He decided he may as well explain himself. "Well, you know my word was numb..? It got me to thinking," He looked down at his all too interesting feet. "I-I… figured I may only be 'numb', around.. you know. Girls."
He swallowed, not looking up. He knew they were being recorded, and shit, his mother had heard that. What was he going to tell her? He was expecting a VERY angry call from her when this episode aired. His GIRLfriends had always made his mother so happy. Being a traditionalist, she really did want grandchildren.
"Wha…?" It was, unsurprisingly, Alex who broke the silence. "Are you trying to steal my thunder, little leprechaun? Because I swear I will go all kinds of Gaga on your ass!"
He was always trying to outdiva everyone, and his comment today had earned him many disapproving glares. As if the poor boy wasn't going through enough, did Alex have to make him feel worse by making a big deal out of nothing?
However, with Damian's entire body shaking, he was doing a grand job of ignoring Alex's comments towards him as he realised what he'd just done to himself. And boy, did Cameron feel sorry for him… He just wanted to go over and give the boy a hug, but Marissa beat him to it.
The red head gathered him up in her arms, turning his head up to meet her motherly gaze. It was only then the rest of the group could see the harsh tears making quick tracks down Damian's face, and for some reason it broke Cameron's heart seeing his friend like this. Like, a LOT more than he thought it would, a whole lot more than any other friend he'd seen this dispirited.
"Oh Damian.." Marissa cooed, stroking the boy's soft brown hair. "If anyone's going to accept us, you know it's us guys."
No-one had taken the time to notice Samuel had put his jacket over the camera at some point, sending a death glare at the camera man when he protested otherwise, before turning back to his friend and, honestly, the most likable guy in this competition.
He grinned broadly, slinking forward and hugging both Marissa and Damian as a sign of unity, and his support for the smaller teen. "Yeah man, it's cool. You should know we support you!"
One by one, the rest of them moved forward, not caring the camera man had taken Samuel's leather jacket from his camera as they shielded their vulnerable friend from the greedy media's eye with their group hug.
Cameron scrambled forward, wanting to make sure he was touching Damian, but instead had his hand painfully positioned somewhere between Hannah and Matheus, and his body wedged awkwardly in front of Lindsay, crushed by Alex.
It was then Robert walked in. Frankly, he was stunned at the scene before him. "Is.. everyone alright?" His gaze scanned over Damian, puffy eyed and looking miserable.
The boy was the first to stand, nodding at Robert and wordlessly making his way from the waiting room to the stage for the announcement of the bottom three. Everyone else followed wordlessly behind him.
As he watched the group file in, Robert called out, "Before we start… What's going on?"
He already knew, he had taken a moment to watch the camera footage. He wanted to hear it for himself, though, and for Zach to hear it.
"I…" Damien stood forward, shakily, but still trying to seem nonchalant. "Made the discovery today that I'm gay. I'm sorry, I was just having a minor meltdown."
He laughed, scratching the back of his head before giving one of his winning smiles. Only this time, it didn't reach his eyes. Zach was taken aback, and it was funny because it was the time Robert had seen his coworker so utterly speechless. He opened his mouth to try and say something, but no words seemed to form as he stared incredulously at the mere boy in front of him, wondering how one teen could take going through so much at once.
The casting director held back his look of sympathy, knowing Zach felt it too, but after all it was a competition and their was no room for favouritism. He called out the names of the people who were safe. One by one, Matheus, Hannah, Marissa, Samuel, Alex and McKynleigh hugged Damian one more time before leaving himself, Cameron, Emily and Lindsay in the hands of one Robert Ulrich.
Damian kept his head down, swaying nervously as Robert talked, he was zoning out, not really taking anything in as Robert and Emily conversed, Zach adding in his comments. He perked up hearing Cameron's name, looking towards the boy.
Seriously, was he pretty. Damian could stare at him all day, and listening to that voice of his was intoxicating. He didn't think he could feel so much attraction to one person, but Cameron had it all. He had become Damian's best friend throughout this whole competition, and, well, he had to discover he was gay somehow didn't he?
He just wished it wasn't by falling for his best friend.
Robert and Zach had now turned their attentions to him, and he stopped his practice of studying the ground and majorly his shiny new shoes given to him specifically for this performance, to look up at the two judges and his weekly mentors.
"Damian.." Zach began, wishing he didn't have to do this. "You sort of had a little too much going on like you were selling being numb."
He talked animatedly, bringing his hands forward to emphasise his point, telling himself to stop feeling guilty for knocking this poor boy down even more. He paused shortly, before continuing, "Versus actually being honest about this is how I'm feeling."
A short 'yeah' of agreement was all he got from Damian, and the boy looked so broken he didn't know if he should continue. Did Damian even realise how damn sad he looked? He was like a puppy, seriously. He decided not to say anymore and let Robert confront Lindsay who was called back.
Damien sighed, knowing this would happen. He was given Elvis, Are You Lonesome Tonight? He didn't know it, but he was too numb to care.
He wandered to the performance room feeling dead. He pulled on the headphones, just listening to the song for what it was. He pictured him, holding hands with some mysterious person, walking and dancing and he hated the way his mind betrayed him when the figure morphed into the lanky figure of Cameron Mitchell.
"Damn damn damn…" He sighed frustratedly, hot tears springing back into his eyes. He mumbled the words to himself, wondering if he would ever feel this kind of wistful romance with someone. Then, he realised, he was singing to himself. And that made it all the more difficult.
Sighing, he rubbed away the tears, glancing at the clock and realising he only had ten more minutes to 'practice'. His mind wandered to Cameron, and the song his best friend turned crush was singing. God, he wished he could be serenaded by Cameron with Elton John's iconic hit. He knew it was a fool's dream, however, it was the first time he'd smiled properly since this whole thing started.
He left the room with his head held high, walking on stage with a pseudo confidence. The lights were so bright on his puffy, tired eyes and the sick feeling in his stomach.
If he had been in the room just moments before, he would have heard the heated discussion between Zach and Robert, relaying to Ryan the boy's frankly heartbreaking situation.
"He…" Robert started, unsure of how to break this to the stone faced Ryan Murphy. "Well today Damian made a shocking discovery."
The stone faced writer gave him a patented 'hurry up and explain yourself' look, one eyebrow quirked and his mouth pulled into the thin line of a frown.
Zach concluded for him, in the end. "He realised he was homosexual."
This spark Ryan's interest. His richly toned voice mumbled, behind his hand. "Fascinating." His lips quirked slightly, a small semblance of a smile appearing as he looked at the stage.
And here he was, this beautiful broken boy that Ryan wished he had in the show right now. He definitely took this whole vulnerability challenge to the next level.
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"Hi, my name's Damian McGinty, and this is Are You Lonesome Tonight."
He knew everyone else had performed before him. Could he fill live up to their performances in his current state? Could he ever possibly best the amazing voice of the one and only Cameron Mitchell? Of course he couldn't, but he started to sing anyway, raw emotion in his voice.
He thought of Cameron, his best friend, who he shouldn't be having these kinds of feelings for. He pictured singing to himself, the lonely boy in the corner, thinking of a love he would never have.
Singing 'parlour', his voice cracked. He was breaking down all his funny guy walls in front of Ryan Murphy, and he couldn't decide whether it was a good thing or not.
Damian finished the song, clutching at his eyes trying to reign in the pure emotion he felt. He sighed, before looking at the judges. Damn, he felt small…
"Tell me about what you're feeling." Ryan spoke, throwing a calculating look at him.
"I… I don't know." Damian sighed. "I kind of pictured singing to myself, in some retrospect. I mean, this is so.. difficult."
Ryan raised his eyebrows, trying to figure this boy out. One moment he was this uninteresting child with an amazing accent and class clown attitude; now he was script writing gold. Shuffling his boot-clad feet and wringing his hands, he had never seemed so note worthy.
"So, which one?" He asked, shooting the boy an all knowing gaze.
Damian was taken aback by the Glee creator's question. He spoke into the microphone, "S-sorry what?"
Ryan gave a nonchalant wave of his hand to the cameraman, who stopped rolling.
"I said." He continued. "Which one? Which boy is the one you've fallen in love with?"
That was like a burning hot knife to his heart. He stood, shocked stiff, not even realising the microphone had slipped from his grasp before the whine of feedback.
Zach and Robert both had dropped jaws, staring from Ryan and then to the small boy on stage. Because that's all he was, a frightened little boy only just discovering this horribly big thing about himself, and to have Ryan Murphy pushing this information out of him… They both had their doubts about their boss' methods of extracting the information through the sheer fear these kids had for him.
Damian dropped to the floor, scrambling with the equipment, subconsciously hoping he hadn't broken it.
He squeaked into the mic. "Who said there was anyone?"
His voice was wavering, cracking with the emotion and shock. Oh God, how the heck could Ryan Murphy see who him so easily? Was he that transparent? This worried him… What if Cameron found out? Oh god, damn, damn, damn!
"I know what a person in love looks like, I'm a writer." He looked at the boy expectantly, obviously not being swayed by the diversion in conversation. "So?"
The tension in the air was thick. Damian knew if he didn't tell Ryan Murphy soon, then he really stood a chance of being eliminated. But was he ready to admit it to someone, that he had an increasingly obvious crush on his best friend?
Ryan Murphy gave him an 'I'm waiting' stare. He swallowed the hefty lump in his throat.
"Cameron." He whispered into the microphone, though the word rang true to him, bouncing in the room in an annoying echo.
"C-Cameron?" Zach stuttered, realising his input was probably inappropriate but not really caring. "The Christian one, really?"
Damian just ignored the comment, picking his numb body off the floor, muttering a 'thank you' to the three judges, before leaving the stage without another word. He truly knew what it was like to be numb, and he hated it. Vulnerability sucked.
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As soon as Damian got back into the room he was enveloped in a tight hug. Whoever it was, they smelt really good, and they were warm and he felt safe…
"Hey man, it's gonna be cool, kay?" Oh shit. Cameron, really? But, he smelt of cinnamon. That was strange.
Yes, Damian was trying to divert from the fact he was hugging Cameron friggin' Mitchell, so sue him!
He hugged back, breathing in the scent and not caring that this was spanning out maybe a little too long for friendly hugging.
The Irish boy knew shivers were making their way down his arms, igniting the butterflies in his stomach, the caress of Cameron's warm breath like invisible hands stroking his neck. And oh did it feel good.
"Thank you, Cameron." He pulled away a little, staying in the warm embrace, but still feeling it only appropriate to express his gratitude. Damn, this was killing him. And cinnamon was definitely his new favourite flavour.
A loud cough from none other than Lindsay reminded the boys that they were, in fact, not alone in the choir room. Damian felt his face fire up, that horrible red colour coming back to his features. Cow, ruining his moment to be close to Cameron.
Damian paused at the thought, suddenly feeling really guilty for unconsciously calling Linsday that. He wasn't usually the type to get so annoyed, even if he was just thinking about people. And he supposed the girl had a point; they probably shouldn't have been hugging so lovingly with the cameras rolling.
He pushed it all to the back of his mind. He sighed wistfully. "I really don't want to leave tonight."
Cameron nodded, looking up at his friend from his position beside him.
"But, I don't know…" Damian continued. "I think you guys deserve it more."
He smiled at both Cameron and Emily in turn, "You were both awesome, I know it."
Seriously, Cameron knew he said (in his mind) it a bit too much, but it broke his heart to see his younger friend like this. "Damian you were amazing too, I bet. I really am routing for you, man."
"I broke down on stage." Damian whispered, looking down. Everyone had definitely heard him, and at the moment he wished it was just his Texan best friend in the room with him, he only wanted Cameron to hear this.
It was then that Robert walked in, his eyes surveying the ten silent teenagers in front of him, drinking in their worried glances to the obviously distraught teenager.
"So.. this has been a really tough week," Robert started, addressing the group as a whole. "But unfortunately the list is up, so… ok."
He watched the three contenders drag themselves up, nodding slightly in a sad sort of way, training his gaze on the Irish boy in particular. Jeez, why were they doing this to him? They really had picked the wrong person to have a Last Chance today.
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Cameron was positive it was him going home, and it was worse than anything he could have ever imagined. He wanted to stay, if not for himself right now then for Damian. The boy needed him, and he didn't want to let him down this or any other week. He scratched his head, looking at his feet as he approached the board. He didn't want to look up at that list and see his name, or Damian's. But then, he didn't want to see Emily's either. Jesus, what if it was Damian? His heart pounded.
Slowly, he lifted his gaze, his eyes drawn immediately to the 'Not Called Back', bypassing reading all the called back names with the gold stars. he lifting his hand up to his mouth, as if there was some horrible, terrifying thing on this list.
"Oh God…" He felt like he could cry, a strange sensation washing over his entire being.
Relief.
"Oh, Emily…" He ran, hurrying in to the room she was in and gathering the balling girl into his arms, steadily becoming a group hug as members of their tight knit group slowly stepped up to her. Damian was sobbing, Cameron realised. Why did he notice so much about the boy at the moment? It was becoming down right obsessive.
"Oh boo, come here." Emily grabbed the Irish boy in her arms, clinging to him with her pink manicured fingers digging into his t-shirt. "You guys will be okay without Cha Cha around."
She grabbed him to the side, telling him she wanted to talk to him privately. The rest of the group filtered out, Cameron lingering protectively for a moment, a frown-turned-pout present on his features, before he finally slinked off, annoyed that he had to let his emotionally unstable best friend out of his line of sight.
She grinned at him, wiping a his tears. "Boo, it's better this way. This way, you can work on getting Cameron to fall for you like you have him."
"What?" He blinked, choking on the words as they came out. "I never…! I don't… I!"
Somebody needed to put out that fire in his features, seriously. The poor boy was so naive, it was cute. "Are all you leprechauns so adorable or is it just you? Seriously chika, it was so obvious to see. You can't hide nothing from Emily Vásquez."
She snapped her fingers, her usual sassy attitude coming out. He smiled cheerlessly. "Emily, you really are a good person. You don't deserve to go.."
She shushed him, putting a finger to his lips. "And you, boo, are an overly critical person. One day it's going to really hurt you, and I hope you have someone there to pick you back up from that."
The New York girl grinned, her hair flipping down to her shoulder. "I'm leaving because I wasn't what Ryan wants. He wants you, and that's an amazing thing Damian."
Patting his shoulder, she continued before he had time to put in his own two cents. "I'm sure, if he searched hard enough, Cameron would want that too. He'd be a damn fool not to."
"How is it everyone knows about me and Cameron?" Damian laughed, "First Ryan, and now you! Am I that obvious?"
She blinked. "Ryan Murphy knows little leprechaun is crushing on uber nerd?"
Damian chuckled. "He sort of… made me tell him. He knew I was in love with someone, just didn't know who!"
Obviously, the boy was hurt by the writer's actions, but he couldn't really call Ryan out about it, so he just let it slide. Hopefully, the man wouldn't abuse the information.
The two contestants shared one last hug before Emily said, "Come on, mother hen's probably worrying about you!"
He grinned, "You know, Marissa won't like you talking about her-"
"I was talking about Cameron!" Emily cut in, laughing loudly as they stepped in the choir room.
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The rest of the group stopped their discussion as they caught sight of the couple, staring in shock as both boy and girl were laughing as they entered.
"Oh my Gaga, guys, could this night get any weirder?" Lindsay laughed as they walked into the room, of course making sure she was first in. "I mean, Damien gay? Who'd have thought?"
She turned to Alex as he strutted in. "Maybe you could get a boyfriend out of this!"
She joked, Alex laughing too. "Well he is a fine piece of man, maybe a little too weedy for my tastes but I'm SURE I could beef him up!"
They cackles sent Cameron over the edge. "Guys, Damien is NOT a piece of meat! He's a human being, and he sure as heck doesn't need 'beefing up'! He's perfect…"
He mumbled that last part, but everyone still heard it. Seriously, this room was like an amphitheatre. He was just really happy the cameras weren't rolling at the moment, setting up instead for Emily's final song.
"White boy wanna tell us something?" Alex snapped at him, seriously angry Cameron was ruining their fun. "Maybe me and leprechaun aren't the only ones chasing trouser here."
Cameron went silent, blushing deeply. Of course he wasn't… He couldn't be… Could he? No, no! He was NOT a homosexual. He liked girls, he loved his girlfriend back home in Texas.
"Alex, leave Cameron alone!" Surprisingly, it was Matheus to speak out. "He was only sticking up for his friend, right Cameron?"
The twenty year old Texan didn't answer, his face still beet red. He just wasn't sure, dammit!
"Cameron..?" Samuel stood forward, looking curiously at the other boy.
Said boy dragged a very shaky hand through his hair in frustration. "I don't… I don't know."
He sighed, looking down at the floor. "This should be the easiest damn question in the world! I have a damn GIRLfriend! I'm a Christian and I go to church! So WHY can't I answer this one question without feeling like I'm lying?"
There was a loud intake of breath from somewhere, but otherwise the room was silent. Seriously, it was getting hard to process this information. They were only teenagers after all. How many shocks did these boys want to give them?
"Look." Cameron spoke, his voice small. "Please don't tell Damian about this, okay guys? I need to sort my head out, and so does he. I couldn't put this on him right now.."
Everyone nodded, aside from Lindsay and Alex. They were sure to tell him.
"And what if we do?" Alex motioned to himself and Lindsay both wearing identical scheming smirks.
Hannah stood, cracking her knuckles dramatically. "I'm not above beating your face in if you mess with my boys, bitch."
She was addressing Lindsay, knowing she didn't have the manpower to take on Alex. But that is where Samuel came in.
"Yeah, just because you're gay, Alex, don't think I won't pummel you for telling." He stood also, grinning at Hannah as they silently agreed they would become the boy's bodyguards. And he couldn't help but realise how tough Hannah was, man she was great.
That shut Alex and Lindsay up, as well. But it didn't stop them from plotting. The group went about there business, chatting amiably among themselves until the missing members came back.
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Cameron, at this very moment, felt incredibly unhappy. How was it that he couldn't manage to get his best friend (and that was ALL he felt for Damian, honestly…) to even crack a smile, yet here her was laughing and privately chatting with Emily of all people? He almost felt glad she was leaving.
Oh he did not just have a jealous internal outburst at a girl he had always thought of as a friend. This was getting ridiculous.
"Okay people, we're ready for you!" Some stage hand announced, coming into the room. He ushered them all out the room and to the stage, where the cameras had all been set up. It was becoming standard now, all the performers took their rightful places, except for Cameron.
Instead of Samuel positioning himself next to Damian as usual, Cameron quickly darted into his spot. For a moment, Samuel just looks a little bewildered, but then he just shot an understanding look in Cameron's direction, using his hand to motion a small bow, explaining he was happy to swap spots with his friend. God, those two were so obvious.
Then it was time to sing. Damian caught Emily's eye, his sadness shining through his pained baby blues. Emily grabbed the mic, grinning as the first chords of music rang through the room. "I'd like to dedicate this song to my chika, Damian."
She gave him a little wave of encouragement, and as soon as she started singing so did his waterworks. She sang to him, and though she had turned to the camera she knew they all knew it was for Damian alone. "There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do."
He sobbed, trying his hardest to sing his part with his flawed, wavering voice. The last thing he expected was to feel a hand slip into his, he snapped his gaze up to where he thought Sam was, only to discover it was Cameron next to him. He blushed fiercely, resisting the urge to run his thumb over the older boy's hand.
Emily saw the exchange and smiled. She was happy knowing that by the end of this both boys would certainly be happy; her job here was done, and for once in her life she felt truly happy about herself, belting out the rest of the song. "There's no other way when it comes to the truth! So, keep holding on, cos you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through…"
As the cameras faded to black, and there was a yell of 'CUT! That's a wrap!' Emily Vásquez knew this wasn't the last time the world would hear her name.
oxoxoxoxoxoxo
So yeah, that was the first chapter. I was originally going to have this split into two parts, but then nobody like's small updates, right? I know I don't! ^^ But yes, so, what do you guys think? Please review and tell me~ I know the first bit is a little random, but I PROMISE I will go back to Cameron's freak out! :)
Also, I would like to dedicate this to DarrenCrissWhore, as her videos are osm and I really really hope she does more soon~!