It felt as if Isabella Swan was my personal drug, perfectly designed to forever keep me addicted. Designed to wrap itself around the poor piece of garbage in my chest without any sign of easing up or letting me go. She was my personal drug, and I couldn't get enough of her. I wanted every little bit of this sweet addiction, down to the the very last ounce, even though I knew such feelings would only hurt me in the end. It was like every time I started to break free from the hold she had on me, I would just find myself crawling back to her like the big heaping mess I was. I was pathetic. There I was, sitting in the middle of my filthy room pining over a girl that I knew damn well wasn't going to love me the way that I wanted her to, let alone the way I loved her; especially now that she was getting married.
"Married!"I scoffed.The word felt like utter poison on my tongue. I was losing my best friend more and more by the second, and it was hard to wrap my mind (which was already swimming with horrid thoughts) around the fact that I could very well lose all of her.
"Jacob!" I heard my sister Rachel call through the thin walls, and then she paused momentarily. "Embry's on the phone!"
Her voice sounded hopeful; no. More expectant, as if she knew I was going to jump up and come snatch the telephone out of her hands. But I wasn't. I had better things to do, so I just sat there, laying on my still unmade bed, staring at the shadows on my ceiling. This is what I've become. I've resorted myself into locking myself up in my cramped, messy room, and I refused to leave unless it was inevitably necessary. Like a pack meeting or something. This felt more important than talking to Embry. For a moment, my mind wandered, and I thought about what it would be like to be a shadow. Would I be a shadow after Bella got married? Probably. Even more so when that monster turns her into a -- Rachel interrupted my thoughts.
"Jacob!" She had shouted, sounding irritated. I just grunted loudly in reply. I didn't care anymore. Nothing was as important as this here bed, and my ceiling. I then heard her begin to explain what was going on, and I could hear the disappointment on the other end of the phone. Betrayed by my own sister. Who would have ever thought?
"No, Embry. It's not you. Jacob's just being a girl about Bella's wedding." She muttered into the phone as if I couldn't hear her. I wanted to get up and smash the damn thing to a million tiny pieces and then shove them all down her throat.
Wedding. The word echoed through my thoughts, and suddenly a wave disgust began washed over me and headed south right for my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick.
"Yeah.. He won't even leave his room." She paused again, and I could hear his low murmur of disappointed words on the other end of the phone, but I couldn't even make half of them out.
g. I'll tell 'em." She said much louder this time. I guessed the whole 'Oh hey. Let's talk about my brother behind his back' party was finally over.
gAlright. Oh yeah. If you see or hear from Paul, tell him that I need to speak with him. It's sort of important."
God, I really wished that I hadn't heard that. I still wasn't completely over the fact that Paul had imprinted on my sister. Out of all the people in Washington, it just had to be Rachel. I shook my head. The feeling of disgust in the pit of my stomach transformed into a slow rising anger. I heard a knock at the door.
"Go away." I murmured through gritted teeth as by fists clenched and unclenched at my sides. I didn't even hear her hang up the phone.
"Embry said that there's a pack meeting tonight." Rachel said through the thin door, separating us. I didn't respond, and I thought she'd just leave, but without success, I heard her voice again.
"You can't keep shutting us out like this, Jake..." She practically whispered. I could here her voice falter slightly. She was trying to maintain her usual tough persona, but I could tell that this whole situation was taking its toll on everyone and it was mostly my fault. I didn't mean for my rain cloud to spread to others, but to be honest, I just wanted to be alone.
"Alright! Now go away!" I shouted, still grinding my teeth. My words hung in the air, and for a minute I thought she had given up and left, but then my door swung open.
"You seriously need to quit acting like such a baby!" She had shouted in response to what I had previously said,
"Bella's marrying a bloodsucker! Too bad, Jake! Move on!"
I sat up, and gave her a pained look, as if somebody shoved their entire fist directly through my stomach and out of the other side, but this didn't stop her from relentlessly belting out those appalling words of complete treason.
"If she's hurting you like this, she isn't worth the fight! Damn it, Jacob, just let her go!"
I immediately stood up from my bed, glaring viciously at my sister. I could feel my arms start violently shaking and my brain felt like it was working and pounding against my skull. I was a ticking time bomb, and I knew that at any minute, I could explode right in her face. I wasn't going to let Bella go. There wasn't a chance in hell. Edward wasn't going to win. I didn't care what I had to do to make sure of that, but he wasn't taking her away from me. My Bella. My personal drug. My life. I just wouldn't allow it.
Rachel's face quickly changed from irritated, to apologetic, and then fear, all in the span of three and a half seconds. I quickly made my way through my bedroom door and purposely nudged her with my shoulder. For a moment, I wished she knew what this was like for me. I wish she could fully grasp the pain of watching the love of your life marry someone who was inevitably going to take every single piece of them away from you. But then again, I wouldn't condemn anyone to such horrific torture. The hot blood flowing under my skin felt like it was boiling, and I knew that I needed to get out of there before I snapped completely. Without any hesitation whatsoever, I threw the front door open and stepped out into the night air. The various scents of my new surroundings were overwhelming, but at this point, I wasn't too worried about that. When I knew I was in the clear, those all too familiar tremors instantly began rolling throughout my body like the coldest, most violent of waves, and I let my rage take complete control.
DISCLAIMER: WE DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, OR IT'S CHARACTERS. WE ONLY OWN THE CONTENT.
NOTES: I just wanted to clarify what's going on in the story so far. This takes place somewhere in between Eclipse, and part of Breaking Dawn, and then it will sort of break off into an alternate universe story. I also wanted to clarify something else important. Two people are collaborating this story, and for the first few chapters, the POVs will alternate between Jacob and Bella and then it will slowly progress into third person. So any chapter in Jacob's POV was written by me, Damion, and any chapter written in Bella's POV will be written by Zoey. We plan on working together on the upcoming third person chapters. Well anyways, now that that's cleared up, please go review. That'd be amazing!