Vala stared in the mirror at her reflection. Sam had told her if she was going to get married then she had to get a wedding dress. Vala complied but did not suspect that it would be like this.
"I like this Vala, but ultimately it's your decision."
"My opinion is that I hate dresses." Vala responded tilting her head and staring at her reflection in the mirror. She sighed and twisted her engagement ring that was on her finger
"Well you don't have to wear a dress. That's just what a lot of people do. You don't have to, Vala."
Vala sighed, "Can we do this another day? I need to think about it some more."
"Sure Vala." Sam said smiling.
Twenty minutes later Vala was behind the wheel driving back to the base with Sam in the passenger seat. Out of everyone on the team, she was the one who had braved driving with Vala. Vala didn't say a word almost the whole way back.
"Are you okay, Vala?" Sam asked.
Vala replied, "Huh? Yeah, of course. I suppose I'm just nervous... you know about getting married." She said.
Sam looked at Vala in concern. "You do...Love Daniel, don't you? And you want to get married? Because Vala, Daniel is one of my best friends, but if you're not going to be happy. You shouldn't marry him. It's not fair to either of you."
"Oh, no, Sam!" Vala said quickly, shaking her head. "Of course I love Daniel, and of course I want to marry him. It's just...New. To be with someone because I love them is wonderful, but it's new. New. But not bad." She tried to convince Sam, and she put on a big smile. "I love Daniel." That was the truth.
"Good." Sam smiled. "I'm sure you'll be more excited the closer it gets."
"Yeah..." Vala agreed halfheartedly. "Of course."
They arrived on base and Vala showed her ID to the guard and then parked and jumped out of the car. "Thanks for coming with me, Sam. Perhaps we'll go again sometime." She suggested, handing Sam her keys.
"Whenever you're ready just give me a call." Sam said, accepting the keys and smiling at her friend.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey did you have a good time shopping?" Daniel asked as Vala entered the room. He was pretty sure the answer would be yes. She had never gone shopping and NOT had a good time.
"Oh being with Sam was wonderful...The shopping, though? Not so good." Vala said honestly, collapsing in a chair in his office.
Daniel looked surprised, "Really? Huh, I'm sorry." He said, he couldn't believe that for once she hadn't actually liked shopping.
"All of those dresses look pretty until you put them on." Vala pouted, tired from a long day of shopping.
"Well, you definitely don't have to wear a dress, Vala. Wear whatever you want. It's your wedding."
"But it's yours too, my dear, I want to look pretty for you --Even though really, I'm always pretty-- and besides, I like your earth traditions, even if I look like a big marshmallow.
"I don't care what you wear, Vala, you're beautiful no matter what. I think you could even pull off the marshmallow look." He teased.
"I'm sure I could. The question is if I want to." She said kicking her feet up on his desk. I'm going to go back with Sam sometime soon." She replied, inspecting her fingernails. They needed painted again.
Daniel continued staring at his open book. He couldn't read a word when she was in the room. "Want to grab some dinner?" He questioned shutting the book and looking up at her.
"I'm so proud of you for not having to be forced to stop and eat, darling. We're making progress!" Vala teased, jumping to her feet.
"Thank you, I appreciate that." His voice was sarcastic, but he looked amused.
Vala just smiled and took his hand,
Later that night Vala sat in her room. She pulled her pajamas on and pulled her eye mask onto her face. She had so many thoughts swirling around in her head. She loved Daniel. She really, truely did. But she had no idea how she could marry someone so... so... so... wonderful! She had been a thief for so long. Someone so... she.... how could she get married in less than three months with all thse thoughts swirling around in her head?
Her mind changed constantly, she loved him, but she could never marry him. She didn't deserve him. But then, on the other hand, she couldn't not marry him either, he was the sweetest, kindest man she had ever known, and hurting him would kill her.
But who was to say she wouldn't hurt him anyway? No, she had already agreed to marrying him. She was engaged. He even gave her a fancy ring. Not that she cared about treasure anymore, though she had played it up pretty well. But then clarified she was teasing him. Now she wished she could play it all over. How had she so readily said yes? Sitting up in the dark room, Vala yanked her eye mask off her head and jumped out of bed. Many times she seemed to have nightmares of something going wrong. She hurt him... she hadn't been able to be the wife she needed to be. Was any of this really happening? Was she really engaged? No, it was a dream... wasn't it? Vala squeezed her hands shut and felt her ring on her left hand. It should have been conformation enough that it was all real, but she didn't want to assume anything. Nighttime was when she worried most.
She needed to block out these thoughts. She needed to be with her Daniel. It was the only time she ever really felt safe. The doubts only started when she was away from him.
She put on a jacket so she wouldn't be walking around the base in her pajamas.
She arrived at his office and knocked on the door slowly. She wasn't sure why she did, normally she would have just sauntered in, but today she didn't feel secure enough.
"Just a moment. I'll be right there." Was the answer. A moment later the door opened to reveal Daniel, still working, like she expected.
"Hey, everything okay?" He asked opening the door wider to let her inside.
"Yeah, hey I just wanted to know... well..." She said, pacing. She wasn't nervous often but now she seemed to take his habit of pacing. She stopped suddenly. "Are we really getting married?" She questioned facing him straight on.
The already concerned look on his face turned deeper so. "Vala...Of course we are! I mean..If you still..." He broke off, unsure of why this had suddenly come on. "You do....still want to, right?" He asked, suddenly filled with fear, but he tried to hide it.
"No! I mean, yes! I mean.... of course I do! I just.... I just wanted to... I wanted to.... You know, make sure that it wasn't all a dream. I mean, you can never be too sure, right?" She laughed nervously, playing with the ring on her finger. It was a habit she had become accustomed to and it was hard for her to stop.
"Vala, don't take this the wrong way, but Im not sure I've ever met someone who had to ask if they were engaged." He said slowly, reaching for her hands, concerned for her.
"Well now, you've never known anyone like me, have you darling?" She put on a grin, trying to laugh the whole thing off.
"Vala..." He'd learned to see right through her cheerful acts.
"What, Darling? I'm fine, really. I just needed to be sure before I went to bed. That's all, really." She said, smiling.
"Are you okay?" He questioned.
"Yes. I'm fine. Just more tired than I realized. I probably just need a good nights sleep so I'm not confused and or demented. Let's not hope both." She said.
"Are you sure I can't help you somehow?" He asked, he was worried about her.
"Honestly, Daniel, I'm alright. It just all seems too good to be true."
"If you're sure..."
"I am sure. In a short three months I'll be married to the only man I have really truly fallen in love with." She gave Daniel a kiss and said softly, "Even if I couldn't ever deserve him." Fear was still burning inside her. She covered it up well, but she couldn't bury it. Why was this happening? Why was she scared? She'd been happy at this home she'd found and now she felt nothing but fear in the arms of the man who brought her the most comfort, the most happiness. How could she be comforted and fearful at the same time?
"I think what you really mean is I don't deserve you." He commented drawing her close.
"Of course," She smiled, sarcasm in her voice. "Silly me, what was I thinking?" She became serious again, "Don't be ridiculous Daniel, I've never done anything to deserve you."
"You've done everything to deserve someone much better then me."
"No." She said pulling away slightly. "I've hurt so many people, Daniel..." Her voice trailed off.
"And you've been hurt by so many people...And we have all hurt a lot of people Vala. It isn't just you. You are someone who should be proud of who they are, because you did something not many people can do...You changed."
"Daniel," She said softly. She didn't want to have this discussion right now. "Lets talk about this another time."
Daniel nodded, "If that's what you want. " He sat down on a small sofa Vala had insisted on getting for his office long ago. She'd argued that if she was going to have to sit in there and wait on him while he worked all the time she should at least be comfortable doing it. "But I don't want you to leave, Vala, would you sit with me for a bit?" He asked, motioning to the empty spot next to him. He didn't want her to leave until she was no longer saying negative things about herself.
She sunk into the chair and curled up next to him. "My head is on overload. Between the half dozen mission reports I need to turn in, I'm
also trying to juggle wedding plans. Its quite chaotic you know."
"I'll do the reports." He offered, with a gentle smile as he put an arm around his fiance and held her close. "If it'll make you less stressed. Just don't...You know...Tell anyone."
She laughed aloud. "I could have used help like this months ago." She said, grinning up at him.
"Yeah..." He said, with a smile. "Just don't get used to the special treatment. You won't always be my fiancé."
"No, darling, then I'll be your wife, and I'll be entitled to more special treatment then ever." She teased, already feeling more at ease, just having him hold her.
"While that's true....."
"You don't have a comeback do you, darling?" Vala grinned at him.
"Unfortunately, no. But really, this is a one time thing." He said, though he knew he wouldn't ever be able to say no if she asked him again.
"Of course it is darling" She said innocently.
"Of course it is, darling" She said innocently.
"You really need to stop manipulating me with this--"
"Control I have over you? It's not my fault you adore me, darling, although, perhaps if I was less wonderful it would help." She teased, almost back to normal as she winked at him.
"I doubt it." He joked, taking her hand in his as they sat together.