A/N: Hello, people. So today, I was inspired to write a little tutorial. I was browsing around and saw "How Not to Write an Amian" (For those of you who don't know, Amian is AmyxIan from the 39 Clues. So, presenting, How Not to write a Dramione! Compiled from seeing a bunch of poorly written Dramiones on this site. The bold is commentary I've added in for your benefit. So, enjoy! Told in Hermione's point of view.

How Not to Write a Dramione: by ANEwrites

OMG, hi! My name is Hermione Granger, and I'm 21 years old. (No self-introductions! Nobody likes that.) My boyfriend Ron and I live in England with my cat. Today, we're going to the coffee shop down the street, and then we're going shopping, 'cause I love to shop for clothes and things. (Hermione is not a self-indulged, shopping-loving person. It's just not her.)

Ron left to get me a cappuccino (This is the wizarding world.) and I sat at the table, waiting for him to come back. Suddenly, a really cute guy with blonde hair walked into the café. He had gray eyes and blonde hair and was super hot. (Guess who? I said dryly.) He caught my eye for a second and I blushed. Then he winked at me and walked over to another girl at a different table. That girl was blonde too, and had green eyes.

I felt a little jealous, 'cause he was really cute. (You have a boyfriend! Once again, totally not in character.) But then I remembered I had a boyfriend. (Spoke too soon -_-) So like, what was I supposed to do now? (Maybe be with him? I don't know.) Ron came back with two plastic cups of coffee.

"Here you go, 'Mione. I got you French vanilla." He said, putting the cups on the table.

"I hate French vanilla! You always forget things." I said annoyed. (Woman, he just bought you something! Be appreciative.)

"Sorry… Here take mine." Ron handed me his pumpkin cappuccino.

"Thanks, Ron." I said happily, (Moody much? No pun intended) and stuck a straw in the drink. "So where do you want to go?"

"Let's go to Macy's, then we can head over to Best Buy. (Why in the world would two wizards go to Muggle stores?) I need something from there."

"Is it always about you? What about me?" (Be appreciative, 'Mione.) I frowned.

"We're going to Macy's. Do you think I want to shop there?" he asked angrily. (I'd be angry too.)

"I hate Macy's! What the bloody hell Ron? Do you even know me?" Hermione threw the cup in the trash ferociously and stormed out of the café. (RANDOM POV CHANGE!) Ron just sat there passively, (EAU- Excessive adverb usage) winking at the girl next to him. (With a girlfriend like yours, I'd keep my options open too, Ron.) It was Lavender Brown. (Of course it was. -_-)

"Hey Lavender…" Ron began to chat Lavender up. (Keeping the options open.)

"Hi Ron." She winked back, and then said, twirling her hair, (Classic blonde? Is Lavender even blonde?) "Are you going out with Hermione?"

"Yeah." He replied calmly.

"Well, if you change your mind, here's my number." She handed him a slip of paper with a phone number on it. (Oh my gosh, guys, Lavender is not a freaking hooker! She's a normal girl with a heart. Stop making her a hooker.) Call me, she mouthed.

A/N: Here's a sample for you guys! Review if you enjoyed… If enough people review, maybe I'll continue Take this as a lesson guys… It's almost like What Not to Wear, only it's What Not to Write. REVIEW!