Disclaimer: I don't own the X Files.

Not Mulder

His name is Dave and he has a nice smile. He has light brown eyes that sparkle with humor and light brown hair that is styled nicely on his head.

Dave is kind, handsome, funny, has a stable job, wants a family, and likes me. So why the hell do I find myself uninterested in him?

I know the answer to that; it's the same answer to everything in my life: Mulder.

Dave, just like the others, is simply not Mulder.

Every single date I have been on for the past seven years have gone like this. To be fair I have not gone on many dates.
This particular man is a friend of Bills and I thought that I would not like him. When Bill introduced the idea to me he put it in a way that I did not appreciate.

He told me that I needed to spend time with other men besides, "That crazy partner of yours.".

He knows Mulder, has for years, but he would not say his name. I flat out refused until about a month and a half ago when Bill came for a visit and surprised me by bringing Dave with him to our lunch together.

At first I was very mad but when I caught saw Dave I was a little less mad. I would be a liar if I said that I did not find him very attractive. I would also be lying if I said I didn't enjoy his company.

We went out for the first time later that week and I had a good time. I didn't tell Mulder, luckily he was busy or it would have come to light.
I was not so lucky the second time around.

He asked me to pizza and a movie at his place, which had become a regular activity for us. When I told him I had a prior engagement he was, of course, curious.

He annoyed the truth out of me and sat quietly and then told me to have a good time. I didn't tell him it was our second date.

Things had changed with Mulder and I since New Years. I had known that the kiss was coming I could practically feel the heat coming off of him. I saw him move in the corner of my eye and I knew that this was it.

The kiss was chaste and soft. And amazing.

I couldn't stop smiling and I thought that this was finally it that we were finally going to become more than partners and friends.

True to form though we moved on quickly. We didn't mention it but we slowly got in each other's way more. He made me laugh more and we would sit for hours doing nothing with his arm around me casually.

A couple nights before my first night with Dave I tried to bring it up but Mulder seemed to brush it off. I began to wonder if he regretted it and I almost kept the date out of spite.

The third date was me attempting to have a normal relationship and also hoping to perhaps have sex, which didn't happen.

He was a gentleman that's for sure.

On the fourth date I was trying to decide if I wanted to have sex or not. Part of me was nervous; it had been quite some time. But another part of me really missed sex. I wanted to have sex but I wasn't sure that Dave was the one I wanted to do it with. I shook the thought out of my head and decided to wear the only piece of lingerie I had, just in case.

Here is what really happened: we stopped in front of my door and we were kissing. I began to open my door and was about to ask him to come in for a 'drink' when I saw Mulder sitting on the couch reading a book looking truly at home.

He knew I had a date and he was here on purpose. He wanted to cock block me! I was so mad that I couldn't even speak.

Dave did for me and he impressed me with his kindness.

"You must be Mulder." He said nicely going in for a handshake as Mulder stood up.

He smiled and shook Dave's hand, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to intrude! I needed some files that Dana had and when I couldn't find them I figured I'd wait. I didn't realize she had a guest."

Sure he didn't. The way he said 'Dana' pissed me off even more. With Dave being so polite I knew I couldn't chew Mulder out right there.
"What do you need Mulder?" I asked through my teeth.

He looked at me as if just noticing that I was there, "Oh uh that article on the Anthrax outbreak in Siberia."

I knew what he was talking about. Damn him. There was no possible reason that he could need to look at one of my medical journals at 10 at night on a weekend.

I walked silently to my computer and opened the file on my computer. I printed it as Dave and Mulder made small talk.

My anger distracted me from the conversation and I was pretty sure whatever Mulder was saying would have just made me more mad anyways.

When the stack of papers finally, mercifully, finished printing I took it, straightened it, and stapled it.

I walked it over to Mulder and said, "Here. You can go now."

"I had a couple questions, just real quick…" He said trying to look innocent.

"Email them to me." I said trying to relate my feelings without showing my frustration to Dave.

"Actually, it's ok Dana. I'll call you tomorrow." He smiled at me nicely and leaned in to give me a soft kiss on the cheek but I turned my head at the last minute and caught his lips, pointedly.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. Fox nice to finally meet you!" He said shaking hands with Mulder again.

I smiled inwardly when I saw Mulder's concealed irritation. Anyone who didn't know him would think he was being perfectly pleasant, I knew better.

"Nice to meet you too Dave! Maybe we can grab a beer sometime!"

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"That sounds great!"

I quickly took his arm and led him to the door where I kissed him on the cheek and wished him a good evening.
I watched him go down the hall before closing the door, knowing it was about to get loud.

I turned around slowly to see Mulder sitting once again now reading the article he forced me to print.

"What. The. Hell." It was more of an angry statement than I question.

He looked up at me innocently, "I needed the article! I knew you were out so I let myself in."
"That is not why I gave you my key! And you knew I was on a date!"

"What are you saying Scully? That I came in and waited for you to come home to ruin your date?" He said it in playful sarcasm but I could hear the edge to his voice.

"Yes! That is exactly what I'm saying!"

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know Mulder why would you do that?" I shouted this right as a knock sounded on the door.

"Shit." I swore under my breath as I saw Dave standing at the door.

I turned to glare at Mulder and then opened the door smiling. I could tell that he had heard some of the argument by his awkwardness and I felt my face heat up.

"Change your mind?" I said not knowing if I wanted that or not.

"Just realized I forgot my jacket." He smiled kindly and pointed to the couch. I practically lunged for it before Mulder could get to it first.

"Here I'm sorry about that." I looked at him meaningfully hoping that he would pretend he heard nothing.

He leaned down to kiss my cheek, "Nothing to apologize for." He waved to Mulder who waved back with a huge smile.

"Damn it Mulder. Get out of my apartment. You have accomplished you mission." I said angrily as I stopped past him into my bedroom.

"You look really nice." I turned to see him standing in the doorway and felt my face turn slightly red.

"Thank you. Now please leave." I sat down and took my heels off.

He nodded to me and I could tell that he was sad but at the moment I just didn't care.

I was eating breakfast when Dave called to ask if I wanted to get coffee I gladly agreed.

When I got to the cafe I saw Dave waiting for me. He was looking down at the table distractedly and I felt a moment of worry. When I approached he looked up and gave me a dazzling smile that gave me butterflies in my stomach. He already had a coffee ready for me which I took gladly.

"About last night…" I started, not knowing where I was going with it.

He put his hand over mine, "It's fine Dana. You told me that you and your partner were close."

I nodded but sensed that was not all he was going to say.

"I just didn't realize how close you were." He added finally still holding eye contact.

I shook my head, "No, Dave, he can just be obnoxious sometimes. Like a big brother you know?"
Even as it came out of my mouth I knew it was a bad lie, he did too.

He shook his head with a sad smile, "Dana I think you know what I'm talking about and I believe that you do want to date me but I can also tell that you have feelings for your partner and… well… I just can't do complicated right now."
I felt my heart sink, "Dave, please I really like you. There is nothing going on between Mulder and I."

Yet. Said a small voice in my head that I tried to shut out.

"Not yet." He said like he read my mind, "But I can tell that there will be. I'm sorry Dana, I do like you but I can't date a woman who is already in love."
I sputtered, "In love… Dave I'm not…" I stopped myself and looked down at the table, at our hands and knew that I was in love.

He moved our hands up to his mouth where he gave my knuckles a soft kiss, "I have to go Dana. I'm sorry. Please just… Talk to him." He gave my cheek a kiss as he left and I sat there confused and alone.

I decided to not go back home and I instead went to the National Mall and watched happy people walking along with their friends, family, and lovers.

It was afternoon when my stomach forced me to get up and go home.

When I arrived my machine was blinking and I knew right away that it was from Mulder.

I ignored it.

I made myself lunch and ate in front of the TV. The rest of the day was filled with chores and my weekly phone call to my mom.

When it was time for dinner I decided to just throw a personal pizza in the oven. I set the oven and poured myself some much needed wine.

I was waiting for the oven to tell me it was ready for the pizza when the door knocked.

I didn't need to check the peephole to know it was Mulder.

He had the sense of mind to look sorry.

"Peace offering." He said as he held up a bag from our favorite Thai food place. I pursed my lips trying to decide if I wanted to let him in or not. He looked so pitiful that I finally sighed and moved out of the way to let him in.

I went to the stove to put the pizza back in its box and in the freezer and turned off the oven. I tried to make these actions last longer so I would not have to look at him. I heard him taking the food out and I grabbed two plates and sets of silverware. I sighed to myself and grabbed a second wine glass.

This is going to be my life forever. Me and Mulder eating takeout and not talking about our feelings. I thought, depressed and needing more wine.

When I finally sat down he had not touched his food yet, which was unusual as he usually started eating the second his plate hit the table.

He looked at me, "I'm sorry."

My eyebrow raised I looked at him and took a sip of my wine, "For what Mulder?"

"For being an ass."

I nodded at him in a gesture to show that I forgave him. What was the point of being mad? It would have ended eventually. Dave was right, I was in love with Mulder and no healthy relationship is possible while I'm in love with someone else.

"Why Mulder?" I asked already half knowing the reason.

"I just… Scully I don't want you going out with other guys." He paused for what felt like forever and then met my eyes, "I want to be the only man who takes you out. I want to be the only guy to gets to kiss you at the end of the night and tell you how nice you look. I know I didn't handle it right but I thought you knew all of that Scully."

I did.

I sighed, "I guess I did Mulder but how am I supposed to know these things. I tried to talk about it and you seemed to want to avoid it and then this nice guy is interested in me and I start to think that maybe a normal relationship would be better."

"Scully you know I can be… obtuse. I-I should have just kept kissing you on New Years and never stopped." His eyes didn't leave mine as he said it. His pupils were wide and his eyes were dark.
Meanwhile I was feeling a simmering in my belly and made a choice.

I got up slowly and went to him. I leaned my side against him and he wrapped his arms around my waist. We had hugged this way before but without heels on his head rested on my breast and I held it right in place. I kissed his head and ran my hands through his hair.
I put my hands on either side of his face and turned his face up and kissed him on the lips before I began to overthink.

Note: To see where the rest of the evening goes find me on Archive of Our Own as Spooky66.