First let me start out with some legal matters...
Disclaimer (def.) a comment used to save ones own ass.
Disclaimer- We are big fans of the Harry Potter series written by JK Rowling, and would never do anything to insult her fine work on the series, and now for the story... Also, we just don't care about your complaints.
P.S. I would also like to mention the movie Dogma, whose definition of disclaimer I stole, so see that movie!!!! Or I might get sued, and we don't want that. (It's a great movie see it!!!)
And now our feature presentation...
"WAKE YOUR LAZY ASS UP!" said a hideous, and evil voice.
"Wha...?" came the confused tone of Terry Connor
"C'mon out here and make breakfast!" demanded the same ugly voice.
Terry all of a sudden remembered, it was Monday, he hated Mondays because they were just like Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays Every day of which he had to cook for his bitch of an adopted family, the Burleys.
It sickened Terry to think that he was in any way related to these people, but it was true. They Burleys contained his aunt, Maroona, who was as skinny as a freaking toothpick. His uncle, Burnam, who had sausages for fingers and his cousin, uhhh... (I ran out of creative names), Dudley, who decided to follow more in his fathers footsteps and ate.... a lot.
When Terry was just a little boy not even able to speak his parents got drunk and shot each other, at least that's what the Burleys have been telling him for the past 10 years and 363 days of his life. Somehow, Terry knew that deep down inside, his parents weren't drunken lunatics, because he visited his first home a couple of years ago and came to the conclusion that no drunken couple could afford it.
So Terry cooked breakfast, because he was forced to, he wasn't a member of a family as he was more a slave. Lucky for Terry his teenage hormones started kicking in and he was beginning to feel rebellious, and he learned how to talk back to his oppressors.
"You better be making pancakes, boy," spat out Burnam.
"I don't think I will today, thank you," replied Terry.
"What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing then?" snapped Burnam.
"I honestly feel more like waffles today, what's the big deal?" Terry calmly stated.
"The big deal is, I would prefer pancakes!!!!!" shouted his largely overweight uncle. Terry's uncle was beginning to intimidate him, but his hormones just wouldn't give up.
"I WANT WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" all of a sudden the box of waffles that was in the freezer, opened up the freezer door, jumped out, bitch slapped Terry's uncle and prepared to cook themselves.
"THAT'S IT!" Burnam yelled. He got up to prepare to hit Terry, but Terry was ready. He pulled out a .45 caliber Desert Eagle. He shot Burnam between the eyes. All of a sudden, Dudley just fell over and died. Terry went upstairs and moved out.
"I don't get why you married that stupid fat slob anyways," Terry said.
"Well, he had a lot of money..." Maroona replied.
"I'm leaving," Terry said.
"You do that," Said Maroona. What Maroona didn't know is that Terry had his uncle's wallet, a fake ID, his uncles cellphone and laptop.
Disclaimer (def.) a comment used to save ones own ass.
Disclaimer- We are big fans of the Harry Potter series written by JK Rowling, and would never do anything to insult her fine work on the series, and now for the story... Also, we just don't care about your complaints.
P.S. I would also like to mention the movie Dogma, whose definition of disclaimer I stole, so see that movie!!!! Or I might get sued, and we don't want that. (It's a great movie see it!!!)
And now our feature presentation...
"WAKE YOUR LAZY ASS UP!" said a hideous, and evil voice.
"Wha...?" came the confused tone of Terry Connor
"C'mon out here and make breakfast!" demanded the same ugly voice.
Terry all of a sudden remembered, it was Monday, he hated Mondays because they were just like Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays Every day of which he had to cook for his bitch of an adopted family, the Burleys.
It sickened Terry to think that he was in any way related to these people, but it was true. They Burleys contained his aunt, Maroona, who was as skinny as a freaking toothpick. His uncle, Burnam, who had sausages for fingers and his cousin, uhhh... (I ran out of creative names), Dudley, who decided to follow more in his fathers footsteps and ate.... a lot.
When Terry was just a little boy not even able to speak his parents got drunk and shot each other, at least that's what the Burleys have been telling him for the past 10 years and 363 days of his life. Somehow, Terry knew that deep down inside, his parents weren't drunken lunatics, because he visited his first home a couple of years ago and came to the conclusion that no drunken couple could afford it.
So Terry cooked breakfast, because he was forced to, he wasn't a member of a family as he was more a slave. Lucky for Terry his teenage hormones started kicking in and he was beginning to feel rebellious, and he learned how to talk back to his oppressors.
"You better be making pancakes, boy," spat out Burnam.
"I don't think I will today, thank you," replied Terry.
"What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing then?" snapped Burnam.
"I honestly feel more like waffles today, what's the big deal?" Terry calmly stated.
"The big deal is, I would prefer pancakes!!!!!" shouted his largely overweight uncle. Terry's uncle was beginning to intimidate him, but his hormones just wouldn't give up.
"I WANT WAFFLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" all of a sudden the box of waffles that was in the freezer, opened up the freezer door, jumped out, bitch slapped Terry's uncle and prepared to cook themselves.
"THAT'S IT!" Burnam yelled. He got up to prepare to hit Terry, but Terry was ready. He pulled out a .45 caliber Desert Eagle. He shot Burnam between the eyes. All of a sudden, Dudley just fell over and died. Terry went upstairs and moved out.
"I don't get why you married that stupid fat slob anyways," Terry said.
"Well, he had a lot of money..." Maroona replied.
"I'm leaving," Terry said.
"You do that," Said Maroona. What Maroona didn't know is that Terry had his uncle's wallet, a fake ID, his uncles cellphone and laptop.