"You really don't" said Clara. "I really do" the doctor replied from the other side of the console.
"If you did you'd be able to teach me", Clara said whilst lifting a large metal lever she had seen the Doctor use a hundred times. "What does this do?"
"That", the Doctor replied as he paced around the console towards her quickly, "that, assists the stabilisers".
The Doctor slammed the leaver back down to its original position. As he did he twirled around on the heels of his feet, his long purple jacket flaring up around his waist. "Don't touch that again". He said whilst pacing back around the console.
"And the twirl?" Clara said mockingly, "Does that assist the stabilisers too?"
Still pacing the Doctor turned his head half a turn and smiled a fake smile at Clara.
"What do you mean it assists with the stabilisers. What does it do exactly, does it have a name?"
The Doctor was busy gazing into a monitor, pressing buttons and turning dials and pulling leavers. "Like I said it assists the stabilisers" he said without breaking his gaze from the screen. "I've never felt it would work better by giving it a name but if you think it would help be my guest."
"Would you ever want to turn stabilisers off?" Clara questioned. "Or the thing that assisted them?". Clara made air quotations with her fingers and put a sarcastic tone behind the assisted.
The Doctor didn't reply, he continued to gaze into the monitor and play with the controls all around him. From the other side of the console Clara thought he looked like a pianist standing next to the universe's strangest piano. She wasn't sure if he was doing anything in particular or if this was all just an act to make it look like he really did know what he was doing.
Clara got up and started walking around the console towards the Doctor. She could only see the back of the monitor as it hung suspended and she wanted to see what he was so consumed with on the screen.
"I've lost count of the number of times we didn't go to where you said we were going. You don't really know how to drive this thing properly." Said Clara approaching the monitor.
"I never said I knew how to drive this thing." Replied the Doctor looking pensively at the screen.
As he spoke he noticed Clara approaching and jerked the monitor away from her with one hand whilst frantically playing with controls with the other. "What I said was is that I know how it works".
"But it doesn't always go where you want it too?" said Clara holding her arms out exasperated.
The Doctor took his gaze off the monitor and turned to Clara. "Yes, but that's not how it works" he replied.
Clare took a breath in to reply but before she could speak the Doctor cut her off. "The TARDIS is taking us to a planet, we'll be there in a couple of minutes."
"Did you ask it to take us there?" asked Clara, already knowing the answer.
The Doctor ignored the question and looked back at the monitor. "About half the size of earth, similar to it though. Gravity a little stronger due to the core but I doubt you'll notice. The TARDIS is picking up a colony of a few hundred but I don't recognise the species." All the time he spoke the Doctor continued to dance around the controls on the console, never taking his eyes from the monitor.
"And why does the TARDIS insist on taking us to this particular planet at this particular point in time?"
The Doctor stopped playing with the console. "I haven't the feintest idea" he replied as he spun the monitor around for Clara to see. "I've been trying to stop her and she won't listen to me."
Clara could see red crosses all over the screen. She'd been with the Doctor a year now and had seen the monitor display all sorts of messages, normally in red, but never this many. It made her nervous, nervous and exited.
The TARDIS made the familiar whirring noise as it landed, the Doctor slammed down a leaver as the noise faded, he breathed out a large sigh and began tapping away on the monitor.
"There is some technology out there that doesn't fit" he said after a moment. "Far too advanced for this time and place".
"What's out there?" Clara asked while examining the same screen as the Doctor. It was a pointless exercise, she knew she wouldn't understand it but it always seemed like the right thing to do.
"I'm not sure, but it's thousands, maybe tens of thousands of years ahead of anything else in this time, rarely a good thing. Imagine if Jack the Ripper had owned a machine gun, or if Caligula had a squadron of fighter jets. Power corrupts, and creates bully and tyrants."
"So shall we go and take a look?" Clara said whilst walking towards the door.
"Obviously" Said the Doctor smiling.