A/N: Uhh, hi there. This is my 1st Spongebob fic, so don't be surprised if it sucks big time. I tried my best. Really, I did. And what's more, I did it on a whim. So… I just wanna say sorry in advance, I guess…

DISCLAIMER: Spongebob belongs to somebody who isn't me… and that's all I can say, really. So nyah. :p

SELLOUT

Ah, the sea… Such a wonderful place to explore.

Full of life…

Full of love…

Full of--

"Money!" Mr. Krabs said as he tore down the menus of his legendary Krusty Krab restaurant. "I'm doing it for the money!"

"But Mr. Krabs!" A tearful Spongebob pleaded. "This restaurant is your legacy! You can't just sell it to the first person who offers you a billion dollars!"

Krabs then had a realization. "Spongebob, me boy! You're right!"

"I am?"

"Yes! I should wait for someone to offer me two billion!"

Spongebob burst out crying again as he held on to one of Krabs' peg legs. "Oh, please! Don't sell it! Don't sell it, I beg you!"

"Get a grip, boy! I hardly think the new owner will fire the best fry cook this restaurant has ever had!"

"It's not the job, Mr. Krabs! It's all the memories we've had together in this place! Right, Squidward?"

"Yeah. Whatever." A colder-than-usual Squidward said as he tossed his hat back and pulled up a seat.

"Mr. Krabs!" Spongebob wailed some more.

"Oh, boy." Krabs rolled his eyes back and sighed. "Listen, lad… The Krusty Krab will always be here! Though, they just might call it something else!"

"Yeah. Condemned." Squidward let out his overly nasal laugh.

"That's enough, Mr. Squidward!"

"Sir, I'm begging you!" Spongebob just wouldn't lay off the subject. "Think about your family! What about Pearl!? You were supposed to pass this restaurant down to her!"

"Oh, daddy!" An excited Peal burst through the door. "I'm so excited! Now that you've sold the Krusty Krab, you can finally buy me that dream house I've been wanting!"

"Uhh…yes, well…" Eugene found himself under attack by his daughter's kisses. "Oh, go on!"

"Isn't he the bestest daddy in the whole wide world, Spongebob!?"

Spongebob simply sniffled and muttered incomprehensibly. "Mr. Krabs…"

"Enough blubbering!" Krabs snapped. "Now you and Mr. Squidward clean this place up, it's a mess! I don't want the new owner coming over when me restaurant is such a pigsty!"

"Yes, Mr. Krabs…"

"Oh, daddy!" Pearl began to jump up and down, causing a massive tremor. "I can't wait until you hand over that deed! I'm gonna go ahead and get a head start on all my shopping!"

"Pearl, dear…" Krabs pulled his daughter aside. "Why don't you wait until daddy gets the deed done, huh? I wouldn't want you to spend all me hard earned money before I earns it!"

"Oh, don't be silly daddy!"

"GO HOME AND WAIT!" Krabs shouted, shoving his daughter out the door.

"Daddy!"

After slamming the door shut, Krabs sighed and rushed off to check on his two employees to make sure they were doing their jobs. He first checked on Squidward, who was sitting behind the register and reading a magazine as his work station sparkled with an unnatural beauty.

"Excellent job, Mr. Squidward!"

"Uh-huh…" The octopus just shrugged.

Krabs then went inside the kitchen. "Spongebob, how's your end?"

The greedy red crab then gasped as he saw Spongebob's kitchen covered with filth. The oil in the fryers was brown and overflowing while the walls were caked with gunk. The floors were sticky and the sink was full of unwashed dishes while the dishwater bubbled with brown nastiness. Spongebob himself was a mess from all that crying as he gloomily chopped some onions on a very filthy countertop that was covered with spoiled tomatoes, dry pickles and stringy brown lettuce.

"Spongebob!" Krabs shrieked as he hurried to his usually tidy employee. "What in the name of Davy Jones' locker did you do to the kitchen!? It's filthy!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs…" Spongebob sniffled. "I'll clean it up… you can… count on me…" He then let out another wail.

"Well you best hurry up! The new owner's bound to arrive any minute!"

"The new guy's here." Squidward poked his head in.

"Aaah! Spongebob! Get to cleaning! Mr. Squidward! Show the man in and sit him down on one of our cleanest tables!"

"Yeah… like that's even possible."

Squidward slumped his way over to the handsome looking trout, who stood at the entrance and wore a very expensive looking suit. The shiny smile on his face was powerful enough to convince Squidward that working with him in the future might not be such a bad idea.

"Well, hello there!" The trout said. "The name's Perch Snapper! Nice to meet you!"

"Hello!" An optimistic Squidward shook the man's hand. "I'm Squidward Tentacles. Mr. Krabs will be with you in just a moment. Why don't you have a seat right here?"

"Why thanks!"

"Can I get you anything? A cup of coffee, perhaps? A complimentary Krabby Patty?"

"No, thanks… I mean, yes! Yes! I think a Krabby Patty would do me some good!"

"Coming up!" Squidward eagerly rushed over to the order window. "Hey, Spongebob! One Krabby Patty for our new boss, Mr. Snapper!"

"K-K-Krabby P-P-Patty?" Spongebob stuttered.

As Spongebob got to work on the food, Eugene approached his new business partner while wearing a very professional looking suit of his own.

"Hello!" The smile on Krabs' face grew an inch wider as he sat across the business-fish. "Mr. Snapper, was it? We meet again!"

"Yes." The trout nodded. "And I just can't wait for you to sign this place over to me!"

"And I can't wait for you to give me my money!"

"Oh, of course!" Snapper pulled out a briefcase and placed it on the table. "Now then. The deed?"

"Sure!" Krabs took out a rolled up sleeve of paper in a bottle and handed it over.

"Very good, Mr. Krabs." He then slid forward a piece of paper and a pen. "Now if you can just sign this, saying that I am now the legal owner of the Krusty Krab and all of its--"

"DON"T DO IT, EUGENE!" Spongebob could be heard from the kitchen.

"Not now, Spongebob!" Krabs stomped his foot. "Sign this, you say?"

As Mr. Krabs leaned in to sign the paper, Spongebob appeared like a bolt of lightning with a tray on his hand and a Krabby Patty served on a dish.

"One Krabby Patty!" Spongebob then purposely tripped and dropped the sandwich on the document, soaking it with grease and condiment stains. "Whoops! Clumsy me! Well! Looks like you won't be signing that document today, Mr. Krabs! Too bad! I was just getting used to the idea of working for someone like Mr. Snapper here!"

"Spongebob, you clumsy oaf!"

"Oh, it's okay Eugene." Snapper chuckled as he took out another form from his coat pocket. "I always carry an extra copy."

"Splendid!" Krabs swiped the sheet away and immediately signed his name.

"NOOOOO!!!!" The yellow sponge clasped his hand over his heart.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Snapper!"

"Likewise, Mr. Krabs!" He slid the briefcase forward. "Well, have a nice retirement! I'll be here tomorrow to hire a new staff."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Spongebob continued.

"And afterwards, I might even replace that fryer. It seems a little old fashioned."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Spongebob!" Krabs grabbed hold of the sponge like a doll. "That's enough! The deed is done!"

"I'll see you later!" The fish in the suit waved goodbye.

"Wow!" Squidward was still excited. "Y'know, I think it might actually work out with him after all! After all this time, I'm beginning to see a bright light at the end of the tunnel!"

"You boys hold down the fort!" Krabs said as he put on his hat and lifted up the briefcase while heading for the door. "It's off to the bank, I go!"

"Wait!" The relentless yellow sponge clung onto the briefcase. "You can't keep this money!"

"And why not!?"

"Because! It's… uhh… it's a bomb! Yeah! A big, nasty bomb!"

"Spongebob, I'm depositing this money into me account and there isn't' a blasted thing you can say or do that will change me mind!"

"But what about your fallback spot!?"

"What?"

"Uhh…" Spongebob started to think of something to say until the truth dawned on him. "Mr. Krabs, do you really think all that money is going to last you?"

"Of course it will!"

"What about your daughter? Were you planning to keep some of it away from her?"

"Don't be ridiculous! It'll help pay her way through school or beauty college or… what does she do, again?"

"I don't know." Spongebob shrugged. "But the point is, Pearl is only gonna get more expensive. And the more expensive she gets, the more money you'll have to spend. Am I right?"

"Aye." Krabs scratched his chin and nodded in agreement. "But so what? It's two billion dollars!"

"What about taxes? And insurance!? The bills will keep coming and the money will start going! And once you're forced into spending all of your money, what next? You won't have the Krusty Krab to fall back on! Face it, Mr. Krabs! You need the Krusty Krab! It's the only place you've relied on to fulfill your greedy desires!"

"Oh, son of a fish!" The red crab's jaw dropped. "Spongebob, you're right! I can't retire now! Not when there's so much more money to be made!"

"Exactly! So does that mean you've changed your mind?"

"Yes!" He then handed Spongebob the briefcase. "Catch up with Mr. Snapper and tell him I've had a change of heart. Give him the money and he should give you back the deed."

"Will do, Mr. Krabs!" Spongebob said as he headed for the door.

Something, however, prevented the yellow sponge from exiting. Spongebob tugged and pulled himself forward but didn't know why he couldn't advance. He then turned around and could see Mr. Krabs still clinging to the money.

"Mr. Krabs!" The sponge whined.

"Oh, right! I forgot…" Krabs' chuckled. "Yeah, go on ahead… oh… two billion dollars…"

As Spongebob hurried outside, he could see Mr. Snapper walking towards another restaurant. One that was all too familiar with him and his fellow employees.

"Why is he going to the Chum Bucket?" Spongebob thought aloud until the truth hit him. "Oh, no!"

He looked back and placed himself against the glass window of the Krusty Krab and noticed that the Krabby Patty that had fallen on the table was now gone.

"Uh-oh…"

Like a flash of light, Spongebob hurried over to the interior of the Chum Bucket, where he heard a sinister laugh emanating from within the kitchen. He broke down the door and saw Mr. Snapper cradling the Krabby Patty and drooling immensely.

"Mr. Snapper!" Spongebob pointed at the fish-in-suit. "Or should I say… Plankton!?"

"Yes!" The one-eyed freak cried as he revealed himself from inside Snapper's mouth. "What do you think of my latest invention? I played you all like a bunch of saps! And now… the secret of the Krabby Patty formula will soon be mine!"

"Never! It isn't yours!"

"You're too late, Sponge boy! I've already given a sample to Karen, my computer wife! Right now, she's running an analysis!"

"No, I'm not." The computer said in her usual, contradicting tone.

"Karen, sweetie, don't defy me in front of the enemy like that! It's demeaning!"

"Well, look, all I'm saying is that if you wanted me to run an analysis, you could have at least asked me ahead of time and not wait for Spongebob to drop in!"

"I wasn't waiting for Spongebob, he just showed up!"

"Don't yell at me!"

"I wasn't yelling at you!"

"You yelled at me!"

"I didn't!"

"You did!"

As the unusual married couple argued, Spongebob simply took the sandwich away from the mechanical Snapper's hand and left the briefcase on the floor. He then reached inside the machine's coat pocket and took back the deed to the Krusty Krab. Placing it safely in his pocket, Spongebob took one last glance at the bickering couple and walked away.

"Oh, those two." He shook his head with a smile. "Love makes you do some crazy things!"

---

Inside the Krusty Krab, Spongebob returned with the sandwich and the deed much to Krabs' joy and Squidward's dismay.

"I'm back!" The square yellow sponge handed the deed back to his boss. "And guess what? You'll never believe it but as it turns out, Mr. Snapper was actually Plankton in disguise!"

"He what?" Eugene was taken aback.

"It's true! Perch Snapper never existed! He was a soulless machine being controlled by a soulless evil genius!"

"Well…" Squidward groaned. "That would explain him wanting a Krabby Patty."

"Spongebob, me boy! You did it!" Krabs lifted him up. "Great job! You're all to be commended for this!"

"Really? Does that mean me and Spongebob get a raise?"

"Of course not! You get to help Spongebob clean the kitchen and help me attract more customers so I can make more money! Now hop to it!"

"Hooray!" Spongebob jumped for joy. "Did ya hear that, Squidward!? We're gonna be just fine!"

"Whoop-dee-doo." Squidward frowned.

"One thing still puzzles me. Where did Plankton get the money to buy out the Krusty Krab?"

---

Inside the kitchen of the Chum Bucket, Karen and Plankton's arguing came to a sudden halt when the computer realized Spongebob had already left.

"Wait a minute, Plankton! He's gone! Oh, great job! You let him get away!"

"Me!? It's your fault! You distracted me!"

"Say, what's in the briefcase?"

"Huh?" Plankton looked down and noticed the briefcase had been returned. "Oh, that? I was going to use it to buy out the Krusty Krab as part of my plan to trick them out of the formula!"

"Yeah, but what is it?"

Plankton then giggled. "I told them it was two billion dollars!"

"What's really in it? Your underwear? Lord knows you should wash them every once in a while."

"Now see here, Karen! I'm a lot smarter than that! I knew better than to put my own tidy whiteys in this thing!"

"So what's in it?"

"Oh, you wanna see what's in it? Fine! I'll show you!" He popped open the top of the briefcase, which showed a counter already reaching 0:02 seconds. "See!? It's a bomb! I was gonna blow up the---oh, poopies…"

BOOM!

END

A/N: As always, reviews will be appreciated. Just no flames. I need to replace my fire extinguisher, you see and… oh, screw it.