Cabin Fever

By Kyizi

Disclaimer: The WWE and all related items do not belong to me; only the story is mine. No copyright infringement intended.

Rating: 12A/PG-13

Distribution: Please ask.

Pairings: TBC

Spoilers: All Lita storyline is fair game.

Feedback: Please, it makes me smile :)

Notes: This is a response to Karen U's 'Firefly Quotes Challenge', which stated the following:

Pairings possibilities:

Lita - Christian, Jericho, Cena, HBK, Orton, Batista

Lilian - Cena, Christian, Jericho, Batista, RVD, Orton, Benoit

Other divas and pairings are up to the author, but no Trish/Jericho.

The other requirement was, of course, to use a minimum of five of the stated Firefly quotes. I'm gonna see if I can get most of them in:p

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Part One

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Lita frowned and looked into the mirror, a curious pout coming to her face. She turned and called out to her friends. "Well," she asked, "what do you think?"

Dawn just raised her eyebrows, whilst Lilian tried not to laugh.

"That hat makes you look like an idiot."

She turned to face the man, scowling. "Did I ask you?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, seriously," he said, his mouth twitching. "You gotta…I'm sorry, I just can't…" He reached out and plucked the hat from her head as Lilian and Dawn began to laugh behind her.

"Will you please not humour him," she said in askance as she turned to face her friends. They were clutching at each other and trying not to fall over. She rolled her eyes and turned back to him. "Is there any reason you're in the women's section of the store, Cena?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "Is this a secret fetish of yours?"

"Oh, it's not a secret," Dave Batista said, joining them. "He's been proud of it for years." John took a swipe at him, but the other man merely cocked an eyebrow at him in a look that clearly said, 'Don't make me eat your face'.

"What am I looking at, the girls or the clothes?"

Lita rolled her eyes yet again as Randy Orton suddenly appeared beside them, looking at the clothes almost as if he were afraid they might suddenly hold a gun to his head and demand he wear them.

"I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."

"Wow, someone's feeling catty today," Randy said, refocusing his attention. "You forget to take your medication this morning, Lita?"

"Did you forget what gender you were this morning, Orton?"

"Hey, this was Cena's idea. He saw you all and thought it might be an idea to come say hi. Gee, I wonder what part of him thought you might not act like a little bitch."

"Hey! I have an idea," Lilian said, stepping between them. "Why don't we all try not to kill each other."

"I have a better idea," Dawn said with a smirk. "I'll go buy popcorn and we can watch and see how long it takes until Lita to castrate them all."

"Oh, I don't want to murder, Dave," Lita said, smiling up at the man. "He's nice."

"And what am I," John asked, "chopped liver?"

"Dude," Randy said, eyeing the redhead carefully, "Don't give her ideas. I don't want her chopping anything."

Lita's lips twitched and, eventually, she gave in and joined in with the laughter.

"Well, wha'd'ya know," John said with a smirk. "It smiles."

"Did you have a reason for accosting us in a store, Cena?"

"I accosted ya? Don' remember that. You mind if I refresh my memory?"

"Yes," Randy said, "now that she's no longer looking at us like she's about to kill us, lets piss her off again."

"There will be no bloodshed," Lilian stated. "It was bad enough trying to get the blood out of the carpet last time Jericho insulted her. This might not be my house, but I refuse to help pay for any damaged goods." The ring announcer crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her friend.

"I'm sorry, bloodshed?" Randy asked, looking at Lita warily.

"He deserved it, Lilian, and you know it."

"My carpet did not! It was a new and white and new and did I mention white?"

"Remind me never to piss you off again, Red," John said with a smile.

"If you need reminding there's something wrong with you," Dawn pointed out. "The only reason she didn't decapitate you when you stole her donut last week was because Hunter refused to give her his sledgehammer."

"He said he'd bring a spare for me this week," Lita said sweetly.

"Just, please, remember that I have no input into what I say to you on TV," John said, instantly hating himself for even mentioning it. A shadow passed across her face and he sighed. "You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked defensively. "Just another week of 'slut' chants, what could I possibly have to be not okay about?"

Dawn hit him.

"Damn, woman, that hurt!"

"You're an ass. The whole reason for this trip was to get her mind off the stupid show and you just had to open your mouth." She swung on Randy before he'd even opened his mouth fully. "And you, no pervy comments until I've at least had my sixth cup of coffee and am ready to keep up with you."

Randy pursed his lips, clearly trying to abide by her wishes. He dropped his head onto his chest, crossed his arms, and looked at her through lowered lashes.

"Okay," she said, letting out a breath, "that's kinda hot, where's the nearest Starbucks?"

They all laughed, relieved that the tension had been broken. They stood in silence, not quite sure what to do next. Finally Dave broke the silence.

"Hey, listen," he said, catching everyone's attention. "We're all free 'til Monday, right?" When everyone nodded, he smiled. "The reason we came over was to see if the three of you want to join us for the rest of the week. We're headed out to my cabin in about two hours. It's a short drive and we can be back for our flights on Sunday night. You're all flying out from here, right?"

Again, they all nodded, but no one spoke.

"Come on," John said, smiling at Lita. "What do you say? Almost a week; we can see if you manage to kill me before or after Dawn and Randy get down and dirty with it."

"Come on," Dave said, surprising her with a wink. "It could be fun and you could use a break."

"You're right," Lita said softly. "I could use a break." She turned to her friends, both of whom nodded, clearly liking the idea. "Okay," she said. "Count us in."

"It'll be fun," Lilian said, smiling. "We might even all survive."

"After all," Dawn said with a smirk. "What could possibly happen in a week?"

xxxxx

End of Part One

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I have no idea where the heck this is going! It's the first time I've tried to write John in a 'fun' fic, so it could be interesting.

I've not decided what I want the pairings to be yet, so help me choose?