Happy Birthday to the bestiest bestie ever - my sweetest fic wife, Cosmogirl. May all your cocks be long and thick. (I hope that doesn't offend any readers - but if it does, you're probably reading the wrong story.)
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"One for Destroying Darkness, Part Two, please," I tell the young guy at the counter. He rolls his eyes at me. He's new, obviously.
Roll your eyes again at my choice of movie, and I may have to flick that stupid eyebrow ring.
Get used to it, kid. I'm sure I'm not the only female over twelve buying tickets to see this film for the sixth time.
What? That's not a lot. I saw the first movie, Dusk, eleven times. Now that could be considered a bit excessive.
If I gave any fucks about what people thought.
Destroying Darkness is the fifth movie in the Dusk Saga book series. My favorite series ever. I've read all the books multiple times. And seen all the movies even more. It's become a tiny bit of a hobby for me. I do need a break from work.
You know, like the stalking on multiple twitter accounts and Facebook pages. Tumblr. And of course, the fanfiction. So, maybe an hour or six a day. All in all, time well spent. Every reblog or retweet of an underwear or crotch shot of the star, Anthony Masen, makes my day. Or more accurately, takes up space in my iPhone memory.
I mean, I got the extra memory for a reason. It's not like I have kids or anything. And there are a few of those funny e-cards. I'm always tweeting those.
Which reminds me, I have to tweet my status.
That time that I watched DD2 for the
4547586736th time by myself.
#obsessedwithAnthony
I walk around a gaggle of teens and make my way to the counter for my usual soda and popcorn. A girl needs sustenance to be able to swoon properly. Maybe this time I won't cry during the credits.
Who am I kidding? That part kills me dead every time.
"Welcome to Edward's Theaters. Would you like to order our Destroying Dawn souvenir cup today?"
"Hey, Alice," I say to the girl at the snack counter. Okay, so I know the cashier. I can't help that I'm friendly. It was during a casual conversation that I found out she follows me on twitter and reads my stories. We have a mutual love for fanfiction, Anthony, and peen. "You know I have one of those already. That's the only way I'll ever get to lick his jaw. Why are you being so formal?"
She glances around nervously. "The owner is here today. Word is that he might close this theater down."
"No! I don't want to walk an extra twenty minutes so I can see a movie," I say. "I've been coming here for years. Corporate douche-bag. He's probably some old guy with a stick up his ass."
"Well, he's definitely not old, and I stared at his ass enough to know there's no stick. Seriously, he's better looking than Anthony Masen...and you know how I feel about him." She points to her "Bite Me, Anthony" button pinned to her uniform. "He's delicious."
"There's no one better looking than Anthony Masen. The man is a god."
"I know Bella, but he's a movie star. Mr. Cullen is a real man. I would totally do him in the projection room."
I gasp. "What about Jasper?"
"He could watch. It'd be hot."
I shake my head and take my tray of popcorn. Real men. I snort. Not interested. The fantasy men don't break your heart.
My phone pings, distracting me from a trip down regret lane. Someone tweeted me a new pic of Anthony at the airport. Happy trail shot. Underwear. Welp.
EyeStalkCock OMG. That trail is
making me sooooo happy!
Dying! effdgdhffsrghfjdhfkdhkdk
/Zug_UTgy
And retweet forever.
I will never forsake you, Anthony. I swear on my cardboard cutout of you that is currently in my office.
Ask anyone - Anthony Masen is the sexiest man alive. Well, not according to People. But that magazine sucks.
And fuck the owner. I don't care what Alice says. He can't be that hot. And he's obviously an asshole if he wants to close down my theater. I have too many memories here.
Wait, did she say Cullen? A real hot guy named Cullen?
The name Cullen reminds me of someone I used to...know in college. Well, someone I used to have sex with. Regularly. Spectacularly. All over my dorm and his apartment. And once in the back row of this theater. Before he moved to Chicago for grad school. And took all my feelings with him.
"Cullen" must mean "hot asshole" in Gaelic or something.
Whatever. I don't have time for this. The theater just dimmed. It's time to get serious.
I silence my phone because all my followers are now retweeting and the pings are going to interrupt the previews I need to watch. I have to calendar all the new young adult movies that are going to come out this year.
That "young adult" category really confuses me. It's supposed to cater to preteens and teens, but the words make me think "junior porn."
And all the women I know are reading it and watching the movies. So I guess it works. I mean, I'm an adult. And I'm young.
Okay, time to shut up. The movie is starting. Gah...where are my tissues?
I shush some giggling preteens who start screaming for the shirtless wolves. I don't want to miss a second of this.
My eyes are glued to the screen for the next two hours. Every moment is perfection. Well, except for the CGI. Last movie it was the wolves...this time the baby. The Saga has made like a billion dollars. Could someone maybe hire a fucking decent computer graphic artist? Seriously, I've seen better work done on manips posted on twitter.
Oh my...it's the end. My favorite part. And I cry all the tears.
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EPOV
I can't believe I have to come back here after all these years. To this theater.
"Mr. Cullen, there's a lady in theater twenty-one that won't leave . She's...she's crying, sir. And Destroying Darkness isn't a sad movie. I think she might be hurt...or having a nervous breakdown," an male employee says to me, breaking me out of my daydream.
"Sir? What should I do?"
Fuck my life. Some crazy person is probably planning to sue the theaters because they slipped on nachos or found a finger in their bon bons. And I have to deal with it. Why can't Jasper be here to manage this crap? Like he had to go to jury duty. He could have ripped up the notice like everyone else does.
I hate this place. And this city. Too many memories here. I should move back to Chicago and forget about running Cullen, Inc. Ha, that's not going to happen. Especially since I have to evaluate all of my holdings here in New York.
Since now I'm in charge of everything.
I sigh. Right. I don't really hate it here. I just wish that I'd never left. I hated that they made me move to Chicago, and now I'm bitching that I had to come back.
I glance down at my employee who looks like he may shit himself if he has to talk to me again. I frown and motion for him to lead the way.
Well, I guess I should see who's ruining my day.
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A/N:
This is going to be quick and dirty. Which is how I imagine sex with Rob would be. And two or three rounds. Also how I'd imagine sex with Rob to be.
Review if you love Cosmo.