Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Beth Sullivan and CBS do, but I appreciate the loan.
My Heart
In an instant, they had broken the tree line and the features of the valley came into perfect view. The dull, sandy green of the grass waved in the spring breeze, dancing along the earth to emphasize the tall structures that stood on the other end of the valley. The two-story white oak structure sat nestled between trees and shrubs, resting serenely amidst the giant mountains that rose tall on all sides. The house offered itself selflessly as a shelter from the intimidating heights that seemed to dwarf the life on the outside- the mountains, the trees, harsh voices, and prying eyes. In front of the structure sat a barn, of matching color and strength with a fence that ran wide enough to allow freedom to the animals that would soon live inside.
The entire scene was beautiful, Sully thought so at least, and although they had yet to spend an entire day- or night- in the new homestead, the building already looked like a home. Sully had watched every day as the house formed beneath his hands, shaping from timber to a frame to an actual structure and it was this last quality, the feeling of home, of a belonging, that he was the most proud of. Yet, he knew that "home" was not something he could create with wood and stone. It was what he and Michaela had filled it with after the construction was complete.
Sully tugged on the reigns of the wagon to pause and take in the sight in its entirety. He had yet to be able to take the road out to the new homestead without stopping at this spot and considering everything the scene before him meant, and he wasn't sure that he ever would.
The breeze grew stronger, rustling the grass in a gentle hum and filling the air with the smell of sunshine. Sully felt the cool air run through his hair, folding itself under the collar of his shirt and billowing it out, off to the side. Several thick waves of hair blew across his face. The locks smelled like lavender and Sully instinctively turned his head to the right hoping to catch a deeper breath of the fragrance, but instead, caught site of Michaela, laughing and pulling at her coppery locks. He could feel the soft tendrils slither across his lips, tickling the soft skin and leaving him scraping the flesh with his teeth in an attempt to remove the shuddering sensation.
Returning her smile, Sully reached out to tuck the rebellious strands of hair behind her ear, allowing his hand to linger on the side of her neck a little longer than necessary. They're eyes locked and a look past between them that told Sully she shared his thoughts. In less than a week this place, this land, and this house, would become their home, and the anticipation of it all was almost unbearable.
"I' think I'm going to start upstairs with the windows, get them washed, and perhaps even hang the draperies." Michaela began to lay out her afternoon, as they got closer to the homestead. Pulling on the reigns, Sully stopped them once more, taking the time to secure the hand break before jumping out. He turned back to her, prepared to catch her tiny waist in his hands. After, three years the motion seemed almost second nature.
"Ya wanna hang 'em already?" She seemed weightless in his arms and he could feel her hands press firmly into his shoulders.
"I thought so. I don't believe it's too soon, the wedding is next week, and the drapes are already complete." Michaela turned to the back of the wagon to retreat a basket filled with carefully folded fabric. Her fingers briefly passed over a piece of muslin, feeling the fine stitches she had spent hours bent over. It had taken her a little over a month to make all of the window treatments for their new home. She had spent hours stitching and restitching the pieces, planning ahead of time what fabric would be found hanging in which room: a strip of blue cotton for Brian's space and the pale muslin was for Colleen. At the very bottom of the basket lay a very carefully created piece of sea foam green calico lined with strips of darker sage. The piece had been created from a quilt long stashed away at the bottom of her hope chest and soon would find a new home within hers and Sully's bedroom. Every time Michaela touched the drape, her heart fluttered so fast she thought it might burst from her chest.
Michaela pulled the basket from the wagon and clutched it tightly to her chest before turning to Sully once more, humor and excitement mixing in her eyes. Sully saw it instantly. "Besides," she hummed, "it'll be one less thing we have to worry about after we get back. We can think about other things." Her lips curled into a crooked grin as she watched her husband to be.
Sully licked is lips in a desperate attempt to combat the persistent dryness of his mouth. His days were filled with the reminder that soon his life would change radically. He spent his days finishing the homestead, unpacking furniture, and then, at night, having dinner with Michaela and the kids- his new family. However, it was the journey back to his lean-to and the moments just before sleep when he lay awake under the stars that reminded him that although his days would soon change, his nights would as well. He longed for the night he would feel Michaela's warm body against his, and it seemed the closer the date came, the more his anticipation grew.
Reaching out, Sully lowered the basket in Michaela's arms to her side, giving him enough room to step in, capturing her against the side of the wagon. Although he knew it took effort on her part, Michaela matched his gaze as it intensified above her. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end as he came closer, their noses brushing one another before lips met lips in a soft embrace.
Sully was the one who broke the kiss, straightening slightly and taking the chance to lick his lips once more, this time enjoying the pleasant taste that she had left there before smiling. "Well in that case, let me know if I can help ya."
Michaela only smiled as Sully opened the gap between them, allowing her passing space. Although she was disappointed that their moment had passed, she forced herself to walk the path to the homestead, attempting to push the feeling of her tingling lips out of her mind.
Sully watched as Michaela's trailing skirt disappeared behind the hardwood door before turning toward the bed of the wagon. Propping his forearms on the edge of the bed, he allowed his eyes to run along the remaining contents.
For years, he had lived alone in the wilderness, learning the ways of the Cheyenne. It had been what saved him in his darkest moments- his connection to Mother Earth. He hadn't needed much to survive, he hunted for his meat and was an expert gatherer; his shelter could be taken down and moved anywhere he wanted. All he truly needed was his bedroll and a blanket, which sat now in the back of the wagon along with a long waterproof oak box that held all of the items he had collected over the years.
It had been decided, primarily by Sully with additional encouragement from Michaela, some weeks ago that he would move his belongings to the homestead before the wedding. In turn, Sully would spend his nights at the new homestead or at least in the near vicinity. Sully for one hadn't been bothered by the change. This is what he was moving toward, Michaela and the kids- a life with a house and a bed- so different from his own. However, this morning as he loaded the last of the lean-to items, he couldn't but help feel a slight moment of panic, not for what he was gaining, but what he was leaving behind, never to return. That moment, however, wasn't big enough to mention to Michaela and Sully, with a shake of his head, dispelled the thoughts rather quickly.
Now, staring once again at all his belongings, Sully felt the mixture of anxiousness and hesitancy rise once again. It wasn't regret that caused the well of emotions. He had no desire to go back on the past few years. In fact, the thought of loosing Michaela scared him more than the unknown of what tomorrow would bring, but he did recognize how drastically his life, his ideas, and dreams had changed in the short time that he had gotten to known Michaela. Different was good though, it was the natural journey of life to change and shape, anything less would be denying the natural rhythm given to them all.
Sully cleared his throat as he tugged at the blankets and bedroll, walking them into the barn before returning for the oak box. On his way back to the wagon, a flash of movement in an upstairs window caught his eye. It was Michaela, wiping urgently at a smear on the glass pane. Running his hand across the harsh bristle of his chin, Sully bit back a smirk. He leaned against the wagon, head propped in his hands, simply content to watch. He would never cease to be amazed at her, at her strength, her compassion, her beauty.
Slowly Michaela became aware that she was being watched and stopped mid motion. Sully watched as she lowered her head, and he didn't have to see her close to know the shade of red that tinted her cheeks. It only served to brighten his smile as she raised a hand in a silent wave. Glancing up once more from under his brow, Sully flicked the back of the wagon down and reached for the oak box, pulling it to him before lifting it into his arms.
Kicking the barn door open, Sully made his way to the wooden table, constructed to the sidewall and sat his cargo down before doing a once over of the area. He threw the blankets over the edge of the empty stalls and hung the bedroll on a nail next to the workbench before turning once more to the oak box. There was enough space in the corner of the room for the box to fit nicely, but instead of shifting the container so soon, he reached for the lid and released its tight sill.
What lay inside was the accumulation of items representing his life for the past five years. Taking up most of the space were extra shirts, a white one that matched the one he was wearing now, the blue one that seemed to be Michaela's favorite, and a red one that had been more or less forced upon him by Charlotte a year or so before her death. "I ain't about to watch you go running around here in the dead of winter in nothing but a thread bare thing that ain't gonna do a thing by means of keeping you warm," she'd said, thrusting the fabric into his hands. The thought of Charlotte made him smile.
Under the shirts lay the red and black wool poncho, that somehow only appeared during the days of the coldest winter and yet the feel of the fabric no longer reminded him of the warmth that the garment gave when he wore it around his own shoulders, but of a rainy night it spent wrapped around another, smaller frame.
An old tomahawk, now dull and lack luster lay atop the soft fabric along with a large bowie knife. Next to that sat a book, with many pages dog-eared to mark favorite poems and meaningful quote. The front cover once embossed with the title Leaves of Grass in gold, now only showed the imprints of the letters.
As Sully considered each object, he picked it up, rolling it through his hands, lost in memories, before moving it to the side in order to dig deeper. As he cleared away item by item, his eye caught on a lone object sitting at the bottom of the chest. He immediately reached for it, feeling the soft wood glide through his fingers; he pressed his fingernail into the grain, feeling the indentation grow under his hand. It was an item that he had long forgotten, but as soon as he lay his hands of the object, its story came swimming to the surface. It was a little over a year ago…
… long before he and Michaela had found contentment in themselves and each other. It was before Catherine, it was before Michaela's abduction by the Dog Soldiers, and it was only a few days before Valentines.
The sound of the crackling fire mixed with the rhythmic strokes of Michaela's rocking chair, gliding back and forth against the hardened wood floor. Outside, the wind could be heard shaking at the windows and blowing against the door. It was a comfortable silence inside the warm homestead. Colleen sat curled by the fire, the new fabric for her skirts draped across her lap as her tedious stitching slowly formed the garment into something more recognizable. Matthew sat polishing the brim of his leather hat, and Michaela was quietly reading one of her journals. Aside from the sound of the fire and the chair, the quiet whisper of Sully's low tenor could be heard gently speaking instructions to Brian.
The two of them were sitting at chairs pulled away from the table in order to face one another. Between them on the floor sat one of Michaela's large mixing bowls.
"Whoa, whoa, slow ya strokes down." Looking up from his own busy hands, Sully watched Brian's movements intently and shook his head. Emptying his own hands of the knife and wood that he had been working with, Sully leaned across the space in order to pull Brian's hands into his own. "Look at the angle of ya knife. The sharper the angle, the bigger your shavin's gonna be." He manipulated the blade in the little boy's hand in order to demonstrate his point. He sharpened the angle and let the blade bit just slightly into the wood. "Ya see?"
Brian bent over their hands in order to see what was going on. "Yea," He breathed, chewing on his lip. "But I'm almost down. I don't want to take off that much."
"So your gonna lower the angle."
"Like that?"
Sully released Brian's hand and watched the knife flatten more against the grain of the rounded wood. His eyes quickly darted along the object, calculating the angle against the curve of the sculpture. It might be a little too flush, but Brian could always take more if he decided to. Sully bobbed his head as he leaned forward, resting his left forearm against his thigh. With his right hand, he grasped his own carving that had been balancing on his leg, and he watched as the soft curls of wood rolled from Brian's figure and fall into the bowl between them.
The boy held out the small statue and studied it intently.
"What do you think?"
"I think it needs to be a little flatter right here." Brian held the curved side out for Sully's inspection. Sully nodded his agreement, and fell into silent observation once more. However, before Brian actually put blade to wood, Sully stopped him again.
"Whoa, whoa, hold it like this." Sully shifted the carving into an easier position, and watched protectively as Brian made the final adjustment, making certain that there was no danger of the boy cutting himself, before lifting his eyes to meet Michaela's mismatched stare.
She had been watching them intently for only a few seconds having been distracted while turning the page with Sully's calm words and quiet patience. She watched as his expert hands moved Brian's smaller ones, protecting them from cuts and mistakes, and at the same time allowing the boy sole ownership of his woodwork. As her eyes met Sully's though, her face flushed at having been caught watching them. She watched as the corners of Sully's mouth curled into a teasing smile and Michaela couldn't help but smile at her own foolishness. Quickly, she turned the page and lowered her head back to her reading.
"There."
"That looks good son." Sully smiled clasping the little boy the back. With a proud smile, Brian turned now toward Michaela.
"Look ma!" Rising from his seat, he was by her side in a flash, thrusting the small carving into the hands for inspection. The figure was a horse, small and clumsily carved. The supposedly rounded edges were jagged with unfinished angles. The large sides that flanked the beast were thicker on one side than the other, giving the impression that the animal was bowing to one side and his legs were disproportionately long compared to the rest of his body. In all, Michaela thought it was beautiful.
"Look at that Brian. I'm so impressed."
"Ya see his mane?" Brian ran his finger along the back edge of the horse's neck where sharp blade marks indicated the flowy hair.
"I do. That's gorgeous detail, and the hoofs. You have a wonderful talent, Brian. I wouldn't know where to begin to carve something like that."
"Sully could teach ya. Couldn't ya Sully?" Brian turned back to the table where Sully was still sitting. He had taken the knife Brian had been working with and was now smoothing the blade against a whetstone, stopping to measure the sharpness against his thumb after a few strokes. Sully looked up from his task and nodded. "If ya're really interested." His words were followed by another quick stroke of the knife, though his eyes never left Michaela.
Michaela, in turn chewed on the inside of her lip, not knowing exactly what to say in return and becoming even more aware of Matthew and Colleen's presence in the room. Distractedly, she turned back to Brian and lifted the horse up between them. "I think he needs a home. What do you think?"
Brian nodded.
"Why not put him on the mantle? You see over there on the far end next to the fox?" Brian beamed with pride. "And then I think," Michaela added, "it's time for bed."
Brian had to stand on a chair to reach the mantle, and then he arranged the horse four or five times before he was satisfied.
"You're just putting it off now." Colleen said through pursed lips as she stood at the divider between their alcove and the main room.
"I am not." Brian hopped from his chair. "It just needed to look right is all."
"Yea you're really worried 'bout the way it looks." Matthew rolled his eyes as he rose from his chair, popping his hat onto his head. He clasped Sully on the back. "Night," before turning for the door.
"Night, Sully."
"Night, Brian."
As the children disappeared behind the curtain, Sully rose from his chair with the bowl of wood shavings. He dumped the bowl into the raging fire before turning for the door.
"If you give me just a moment I'll walk you out." Michaela whispered, straightening the chairs back into their proper position. Sully shook his head, lifting his coat from the hook next to the entrance.
"It's too cold out there. Stay in here where it's warm."
Rubbing the back of her neck tiredly, Michaela wandered over to stand next to Sully. She reached for the edge of his jacket, helping him pull the thick fabric over his arms and straightening it against his chest. "You stay warm too." She whispered, still fussing with the front of his coat. She was yet to be convinced that it was warm enough for this time of year.
Sully simply smiled over her concern for him. Placing his hands on either side of her arms, he stilled her, smiling as he bent down to kiss her on the cheek. "Don't worry so much."
Michaela took a deep breath and felt the tension ease from her body. Finally, she felt the comfort of a smile spread across her face. "Thank you for helping Brian. I think he's really pleased with his horse."
"My pleasure." Sully's eyes wandered over Michaela's shoulder to the mantle where the horse now sat. I wouldn't know where to begin to carve something like that. "I'm glad he's happy."
"Mmm," seemed to be the only sound Michaela was capable of producing. She was fully distracted by soothing rhythm of Sully's thumb sweeping back and forth across her shoulder. Soon the motion stopped and her skin grew cold. In return, though she felt Sully lean toward her once more, and this time she instinctively matched his movement, closing the gap between them so that no space separated one from the other as Sully's lips claimed hers in a good night kiss. Sully felt Michaela's lashes flutter against his cheek. Was there anything about her that wasn't soft and gentile? The tender motion endeared her to him all the more and Sully wrapped an arm around her back to draw her closer to him.
When they finally did part, Michaela was left breathless, smiling under flushed cheeks. Her fingers gently glided over the rough beadwork that decorated the shoulder of Sully's jacket. She could feel his arms around her, warming her from the inside out as his warm breath ran across her face. Her eyes fell shut, savoring her surroundings.
"Goodnight." Sully's whisper pulled her back into reality and her eyes flew open.
"Goodnight." She conceded, more or less forcing herself to take a step back, away from his embrace, away from his warmth.
Sully watched as Michaela unconsciously raked her bottom lip between her teeth. Swallowing hard, he diverted his attention to the door, taking special note of reaching for the handle and pulling at it, opening the door only wide enough for him to leave. He would give anything to kiss her once more, to feel her hands on his shoulders picking at the seams with her fingernail, but he dared not kiss her again, not tonight.
Sully stepped out the door and on to the porch before looking back for the last time. Michaela was still standing in the doorway, arms wrapped across her shoulders. She lifted a hand toward him. Sully bobbed his head in understanding before turning and stepping off the porch. The door shut behind him as he stepped into darkened wilderness.
For the next few days, Sully's mind went back to that night in the little cabin. He replayed several events of that night. The way Michaela watched him with Brian, the way she marveled over her son's accomplishment, the kiss they had shared before he had left that night. He had left the next morning for a hunting trip, but found that he spent most of his time thinking of Michaela and Valentine's Day.
Sully had never been one for grand gestures. In his opinion, love was something to be shown everyday through actions and words, not large gifts given on designated holidays. However, this year was different. This year he had Michaela and he had wanted to do something to make her feel special.
"I wouldn't know where to begin to carve something like that." Her words fluttered around in his mind and by the time his hunting trip was over, he had an idea.
Michaela batted at the loose tendrils of hair that had pulled from her braid during her gallop. "Good boy." She whispered, leaning over to pet Flash alongside his neck, a smile of ecstasy gracing her face. Straightening once again, she took a deep breath, sniffing against the cold February air. Even she was slightly out of breath from such an exhilarating ride home, and coming around the corner, she was almost sad to see the homestead come into view.
After her last patient left a little after one o'clock, Michaela had decided to take the rest of the day off, to have a little time for herself and perhaps some time to catch up on her daily chores. However, now that she was at home, she felt the careless freedom of the wind tussling through her hair disappear as she saw the list of chores scroll before her. As she came closer to the homestead, though, a lone figure sitting on the porch steps pulled her mind from her ever-growing to-do list.
"Sully, what are you doing here?" Michaela dismounted and lead Flash the rest of the way. She hadn't thought he was going to be back from his hunting trip so quickly. Of course, she had realized that today was Valentine's Day, but Sully hadn't said anything to her about being back for the day, and she hadn't wanted to ask. Over the years, she had gotten used to February 14 being no different from any other day. She worked just like she did every day, and came home just like she did every day, and although this year felt different having Sully in her life, she had just reconciled herself to having this year be like all the years before.
"I thought you might come home early today." Sully stood from his position and walked over to her.
"What gave you that idea?" Michaela turned toward him as he leaned over to take the reins from her hands. The sensation of his fingers brushing against hers was enough to warm her from the cool breeze.
"Whaten your last patient at one?" Sully shot her a secretive look out of the corner of his eye before turning with Flash.
Michaela stood with her mouth gaping open for a second before regaining her composure and following after him.
"Wa… wait." She had to spring to catch up, seeing Sully already disappear into the barn with Flash. Turning the corner in a hurry, she ran directly into Sully's chest. Fumbling backwards, she would have lost her balance had it not been for Sully reaching out to catch her. Once she was set back on her feet though, she couldn't seem to do anything other than staring at the man standing across from her, having completely lost her train of thought amid the zinging sensation running through her arms. After a moment of silence, Sully, a flash on humor in his eyes, turned back toward Flash, releasing Michaela from her trance.
"Um… wha… how did you know when my last patient was?" With a strain of exertion, Sully lifted the saddle from Flash's back and laid it across the side of the stall, throwing a glance in Michaela's direction as he moved. It wasn't until after the task was complete that he, folding his arms, leaned them across wooden divider separating them and looked directly at her. .
"I might have checked your appointment book to see how late you would be today."
The smug smile on Sully's face did nothing to help matters. Michaela felt like she should be furious. How could he just go around looking through all of her things and making plans without her knowledge, without even asking her what she had thought she would do for the evening? However, even as she felt frustration flare in her chest, Sully reached over and tapped her on the chin.
"So whadda you think? Can ya spare an hour or so?"
"I don't know. I had planned on finishing the laundry today." Michaela's stubbornness flashed, Sully could see it, the way the bright shades of gold sparkled in her eyes and her jaw set firm, but he refused to let her win this one. Leaning over the edge of the stall, he pulled her closer to him.
"How about ya give me an hour; just an hour an' I promise ta help ya with the rest of your chores 'fore dinner." He spoke in a heavy whisper, but didn't wait for an answer. Instead, he skirted around the divide and headed outside, leaving Michaela utterly puzzled.
Michaela found him outside, standing on the porch steps with his back toward her. "So what did you have in mind?" She asked, clasping her hands in front of her and looking around. Was he planning to take her on a walk, or was there something else? She couldn't help but be intrigued by his secretive smiles and casual gestures, but when Sully turned back toward her holding nothing but a knife in one hand and a block of wood in the other, her face fell. Somehow, the magic of the secret died away and Michaela looked up at him puzzled. Did he want to teach her to whittle?
"Ya seemed really interested the other night when Brian finished his horse."
"Well, yes but…"
"And ya said that ya didn't have any idea how ta start makin' somethin' like that. I told ya I'd show ya if ya really wanted." Sully flipped the knife in his hand so that the handle was now facing her, but Michaela made no move to grasp it. Instead, she stifled a laugh.
"I hardly think I'd have any sort of talent for carving." Sully merely lifted an eyebrow and looked at her.
"Ya ain't gonna know if ya don't try." Was it a dare? Michaela wasn't sure why the way he looked at her made her feel as though he were silently challenging her; she squirmed under his gaze and looked back at the wooden handle. She had spent many minutes watching Sully's hands intently working wood, carving, shaping, and smoothing it until he had created some of the most beautiful designs. He had made foxes and wolves. She had seen him whittle bears, trains, and whistles for Brian. They were all equally beautiful, and although she knew that nothing of her could make something equally as delicate and detailed, part of her wanted to know what he did. She wanted to know what it felt like to create something from nothing.
Chewing on the inside of her lips, she looked up once more and saw his eyes smile the moment he understood she would accept his offer. She reached out and gently took the knife from his hand, holding it lightly between her fingertips, never breaking his gaze. Sully stepped aside, opening a passage for her on the steps and motioned with his hand.
"Sit on the second from the top." Trying to suppress her smile of excitement, she nodded and followed his directions.
As Michaela settled herself on the step, finding a comfortable position and tucking her skirts in around her, Sully gripped the block of wood tighter in his hand. He strove to calm the beating in his chest as he watched Michaela finally come to a rest and looked up at him curiously. It was now or never. He wiped at his mouth as he took the first step, and then the second, eyes looking at Michaela's. He reached down and rested a hand on her shoulder as he passed her on the steps and turned to sit behind her.
Sully felt Michaela stiffen, back erect and neck rigid as he sat one-step above her, adjusting it so that she was sitting between his legs. Feeling her discomfort, Sully wasn't sure what to do next. Should he try to reassure her or just continue on? Trying to better judge what she was thinking he leaned over her left shoulder and inadvertently smiled. Instead of seeing her face, that most likely held all expression of her thoughts, his eyes feel on her hands resting in her lap.
Along with her strict posture, Michaela held in her right hand the wooden handled knife that he had given her only moments before. She held the knife, loosely between her thumb and third finger with her pointer finger resting along the backside of the blade, pressing the handle back into her palm and preparing to make an initial cut, the only problem was that her new patient was merely block of cedar.
Forgetting his uncertainty, Sully let out a chuckle and brought his arms along either side of her capturing her in an embrace as he grasped her hand between his.
"Ok first off, ya can't hold it like one of your fancy knives." Quickly he slipped the blade from her and palmed it into his left hand while he worked out the tension in her hand with his fingertips, taking note of the smooth skin that glided under the pads of his fingers. Sully's methodical strokes involuntarily worked magic not only on Michaela's hand, but the rest of her body as well and soon the tension seemed to have oozed from her fingers and she felt herself relax back into his embrace. Sully too felt her back rest more solidly against his chest, and his confidence began to grow once more.
Once her hand lay placid in his, Sully shifted the blade from his palm to hers, tucking the handle into the crease where her fingers connected with her palm. He curled her fingers around the handle as he spoke. "All the control rests with your hand, ya can change the angle by movin' your fingers, an' ya use this," he tweaked her thumb, "to keep steady an' prevent sudden movements. Got it?" Sully felt the smoothness of Michaela's hair glide across his cheek in a caress as she nodded jerkily. "Ok." Reaching for the piece of cedar he had laid to the side, he slipped it into her hand.
"And what are we going to make?" Michaela's voice held just the tiniest hint of a tease.
"You'll find out." Sully leaned further over her shoulder to exam the grain of the wood she held, wiping at it with his thumb. "We're gonna start by takin' off the corners. Make sure ya move the blade away from ya."
"Ok." Michaela followed his leaned, letting his hands guide her own at first, sliding the blade over the wood putting the necessary pressure against the grain and slowly removing all traces of a pointed corner from the block. While he was working with her, Michaela felt completely safe, in control of the motion of the knife, although the control didn't belong to her but to Sully. However, once he turned their attention to the third corner, his hand dropped from hers letting her take over the carving, and Michaela felt all her control disappear. She hesitated, glancing over her shoulder.
"You're ok." Sully's eyes never left her hands.
Taking a deep breath, Michaela tried to mimic the motions that she had performed mere moments before, but uncertainty creeped in and she felt the blade stop against resistance. "Add a little more pressure." She heard Sully suggest from behind and her brow lowered in determination. She added pressure slowly until the blade sliced through the wood and went gliding across the surface. Michaela gasped at the sudden movement.
"I'm going to cut myself."
"Nah, you're not." Sully's smooth whisper reassured her as he took her left hand back into his own, covering the fingers that curled along the edges of the wood and using his own digits as a barrier between her soft skin and the potential stray blade. "Your actually doin' real good."
"Really?" Michaela leaned to the side so that she could see him over her shoulder. Sully's blue gaze caught hers and his lips curled slightly at the edges, feeding her confidence.
"Yah. It's gonna look real nice."
Michaela glanced back down at the block in her hand; it hadn't changed hardly at all except for the fact that three corners had been removed. She couldn't help but giggle, it didn't look like anything, yet, how would he know that it was going to look good? Slipping her bottom lip between her teeth she whispered, "What happens next?"
"You're gonna make another point now. Cut into the wood here and here." he manipulated the knife in her hand, pressing it against the grain. Michaela in turn bit the blade into the cedar, hoping to sear the wood away, but found that it didn't move at all. After a few more tries, pressing into the grain with no results she huffed in frustration. "Wait…"
Michaela felt Sully peer around her shoulder, his warm breath skimmed across her cheek. She felt his warmth seep through her shawl and blouse, warming her, calming her. It seemed that that's all he ever did, calm her frustration. Was it that she spent every day of her life running through one hour to make it to the next; finish this patient so she can do chores, or read this chapter so she could move on to charts? Was it that she ever stopped to enjoy the moment, the rustle of the trees or smell of cornbread cooking in the oven? Sully seemed to be able to do it. His very essence was absorbed into the moment, never having anything that he had to do and enjoying every moment of everything. He could even enjoy spending the day whittling away on the front porch with nothing but the afternoon breeze and the skylark's song to keep him company. Michaela envied that of him as he wrapped his arms around her again, taking control of her hands and overcoming the resistance.
"Sometimes ya just gotta be patient." Sully soothed, his breath moving her hair. He could read her thoughts, her anxiety, and yet was simply able to pull her back down to the simplicity in which he lived with only six words. She wanted him to; she wanted to sit with him on the porch. Closing her eyes, she pressed herself into his chest, feeling the way his arms encircled her and his hands moved hers. "Look at that." He broke the silence, running her fingers along the new jagged edge before bringing the transforming figure to her mouth. "Blow… blow." He chuckled tapping her on the end of the nose. Michaela laughed, the carefree melody bubbling from her, shaking her shoulders.
"What?"
"Nothing." Michaela laughed, pulling at his hand in an attempt to lower it to eye level. Once she could see it properly, she sighed, running her fingers along the edges.
"Ya know what it is?"
"It's a heart." She could feel Sully nodding next to her.
"Yea."
"It's going to be beautiful." Michaela sighed, tilting her head to one side.
"Happy Valentine's Day." His whisper filled her ear, tugging at the corners of her lips. Valentine's Day, it was her Valentine's Day.
"Thank you." She turned to him, placing a soft kiss to his rough cheek. His scent, the mixture of cedar, leather, and grass surrounded her, embracing her in the familiarity. "Now, help me finish this." She laughed, turning excitedly back to her project.
It took another half hour for them to finish the carving, not because it was particularly hard, but because they took their time and enjoyed the afternoon. Michaela had managed to forget about her chores for the evening and Sully enjoyed watching her hands, listening to her laugh. When they approached the end of the whittling, he had done with her much like he had with Brian a few days before. He sat quietly as she looked her piece over, examining it for any imperfections that bothered her and helped her smooth them out.
At the end, Michaela held in her hands a beautifully, albeit shakily carved heart. The soft, white cedar was proportionate on one side as on the other, but it held its odd edges and angles, not being perfectly smooth. Still, Michaela seemed to beam, holding the carving that she had made. It wasn't perfect by any means, but it was beautiful. Sully couldn't help but smile at her, watching the way she cupped the wooden carving in her hand and examined it. Though she bit the side of her lip, he could still see her smile playing at the corners of her eyes.
"Whadda ya think?" He asked wanting to hear her thoughts aloud. When she turned to him, she just smiled.
"I made this." She lifted her hand to him to show off its contents, her childlike enthusiasm making him laugh.
Sully moved to take her hand in his, examining the carving and turning his gaze back to her. "I think it's beautiful." Michaela continued to smile, basking in her achievement.
It was the children that finally separated them, pulling them back into the present world with the cleaning and cooking that had to be done. The sun had just begun to sink under the horizon, shattering the sky with golden rays that seemed to light up the world.
"Hey Sully. Ya stayin' for dinner?" Brian bounded out of the wagon, with a wide grin on his face. "Colleen promised she'd make fried chicken."
"Well in that case…" Sully smiled at his friend and he made room for Brian to pass on the steps. Michaela had already risen from her position to help Colleen from the wagon.
"I thought you were going to bring in the laundry today." Colleen asked once she had made it to the ground.
"Oh well, I suppose I got a little side tracked." Michaela brushed the comment to the side, catching Sully's amused gaze of the girl's shoulder. "I'm going to take it down now."
With a nod of her head, Colleen retreated inside to start dinner and Matthew quickly followed the lead of his siblings leaving Michaela and Sully alone once more.
"I think I promised to help ya with the laundry." Sully winked at her, turning to the clothesline that stretched the length of the homestead.
"Wait, Sully…" Michaela hastily closed the distance between them, smiling at him as he turned around. Taking his hand into hers, she carefully pressed the cedar heart that she still carried into his palm. Sully just looked at her, slightly confused as to what she meant, but she spoke no explanation. Instead, she rose to her tiptoes to press a firm kiss to his lips. When they parted, she whispered to him so that he could still feel her breath across his face.
"I give you my heart." She slipped her hand from his, leaving the carving in its place.
Sully smiled, understanding the double meaning behind her words. It had been clear from the very start that their relationship was uncharted territory. They both had felt it, and it had caused some rockiness during their first few weeks of courting. Even now, they seemed to be picking their way around a rocky path, trying to decide where they were going and how to get there together, and the journey wasn't easy. They both had their days, but it was a day like this that reminded them why they fought so hard. I give you my heart. She'd whispered her promise to him as she pressed her gift into his hand, and Sully felt his chest ache with the power of her trust.
Squeezing the heart tightly in his hand, he could feel the edges stinging into his fingers as he made his promise to her. "I'll keep it safe."
Sully sat on an overturned trough, his forearms resting on his knees as he turned the cedar heart repeatedly in his hand. He couldn't help the smile that tugged on his mouth as he remembered the story. How the carving had made it to the bottom of the box without him ever missing it he would never know. Perhaps it got lost in the weeks of turmoil after Catherine, or it had been replaced by Michaela after her abduction. Now that he had rediscovered the trinket, and uncovered its story once more, it made him proud of where they had come from and where they were going together.
Michaela found him still lost in thought when she wandered into the barn. "Is everything alright? You never came inside."
"Yea, I was just going through some things." Sully's eyes shot to the box that still stood open on the workbench and Michaela followed suite, wandering over to the chest and gazing over its contents. Reaching in, she stroked at the bunched fabric of his blue shirt, smiling as she did so. Blue was slowly becoming her favorite color, especially the shade of blue that ran in stripes down the blouse. It was the color of the water in Boston Harbor, of the early morning sky as it stretched over the mountains, and of Sully's eyes.
Pulling the skirt from the chest, Michaela turned back to Sully leaning against the edge of the bench. She held the shirt against her chest, smoothing out the wrinkles all the while watching Sully intently. Should she be concerned?
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Sully glanced up to see Michaela folding one of his shirts. Unable to hide his smile he cleared his throat trying to find his words. "I was just thinkin' 'bout Valentine's Day 'few years ago." He rose from his seat, swaggering over to her.
"Oh really? What about it?" Michaela lay his shirt aside and pulled herself a little straighter. When Sully's hand came toward her, she instinctively looked down to see what he held. She sighed slightly at the sight of the small, distorted heart. Sully took another step toward her, closing in the gap as he continued to hold the heart to her. Soon, there seemed to be no space between them at all. Michaela could feel him leaning over her, his breath warming the top of her crown as she examined the little carving, a carving that would eventually find its home resting contently on her nightstand, and remembering the day they had created the trinket.
Sully spoke, his voice soft and thick, sending chills down Michaela's spine. "I give you my heart." When she slowly raised her head to look at him, Sully could see the glistening tears the pooled against her lower lids, making her eyes sparkle. Her lips parted, soft wisps of breath escaping from between them. She didn't speak at first, but instead clasped his hands into hers, feeling the wooden heart as it pressed into his palm. With a little smile, she pressed their hands to her chest, feeling the impression of the heart lay over her own.
"I'll protect it forever. I promise." She whispered, leaning toward him. Sully met her the rest of the way, pressing his lips to hers and sealing her promise with a kiss.
There's a little Valentine's Happy for you! I hope you enjoyed it! Have a Happy Valentine's Day!