A/N: I've been working on this for a few months now and I wanted to post it as one big oneshot but I'm stuck at this one point and I had a computer scare a few days ago and I really don't want to lose this. So here you go. This is pretty much AU (well, Kate is dead) but there are still some canon points sticking around. Basically, this tells the story if Kate was MIB, not Locke. This part will only be season 5.

She's dead. He knows she's dead. He was the one that got the call about the car accident while he was working at the hospital. He was the one who watched them try to save her life. He was the one who had to organize her funeral, had to watch them lower her body to the ground. Then why was she standing in front of him, looking so alive?

She's been dead for a year now. She left him with a 3 year old blond boy (that looks exactly like his sister), a house full of memories and heartache (a terrible heartache that makes it hard to breathe). It wasn't supposed to be like this; they were supposed to get married, be happy forever and never let anything or anyone get in their way again. Obviously, Fate (or Destiny; he was never sure which one Locke always talked about) wanted to get in their way and stop them for good. He hated Fate.

The first 6 months were the hardest. He had nightmares every night (actually, they weren't nightmares. They were perfect dreams with them together happy. They were nightmares to him because he would always wake up with her not there) and Aaron just couldn't grasp that Kate was gone and never coming back. It was hard for both of them (but Jack had more responsibility).

Jack never realized how much Kate did for Aaron until she was gone. He seems to be doing the wrong thing all the time. He makes PB&J sandwiches wrong (no, Uncle Jack! The peanut butter is supposed to be on top!), he only brings one juice box to the park when he was supposed to bring 2 and he buys the shampoo with the green bottle and the blue cap instead of the one with the blue bottle and the green cap. But it seems that Aaron understands what's wrong with Jack. Sometimes Aaron would crawl into bed with him at night and sleep with him. Back in the first month or so, Aaron smelled like Kate and Jack would actually have a good sleep. Now, Aaron just smells like (the wrong) shampoo.

Women check him out at the grocery store. He never understood why some women found men with kids admirable. But they check him out anyways (and probably notice that he doesn't have a ring. He's supposed to. The engagement is still burning a hole in his sock drawer) while he just makes sure that he at least gets the right type of juice. He talks with the cashier about cheese and she thinks that he's flirting but really, he's just talking about cheese. He finds the cashier's number tucked away in one of the bags when they get home. He keeps it to show his mother that he's moving on and tell her he has a date on Saturday night but when Saturday rolls around, he stays up late watching old black and white movies just like what he did with Kate. Maybe one day he'll actually call the number.

About a year after her death (13 months, 2 weeks and 4 days to be exact but he's not counting; he's moving on with his life just like he promised his mother), Ben appears at his front door. He pushes his way inside and goes on and on telling him that they all need to go back to the Island fast. Jack asks why they need to go back now, not 3 years ago but Ben says it didn't matter and that they all need to go back now and stop asking pointless questions. But it's the way that he says "all" that gets to him. Down deep in his chest, he knows that Ben means everyone, including Kate (well, her body at least). He has to be sure before he starts attacking Ben for thinking these things though.

"When you say all of us do you mean...?" He desperately doesn't want to finish the question but he will if Ben doesn't understand.

"'All of you' consists of everyone who left the Island 3 years ago so, yes, we'll need to bring Kate."

Jack lets that sink in. Ben wants to dig up Kate's one year old corpse and bring it back to the Island. Ben will probably want him to help because they're "short on time" for whatever reason. He for sure as hell isn't doing that.

"You're probably thinking why you would want to go back but just think, you could bring Claire back, you can tell her that you're her brother and you can give Aaron back to her. And with Claire around, you could live without a constant reminder of everyone you lost," Ben says, interrupting Jack's thoughts.

Jack would be lying if he said that didn't sound good to him. He's felt guilty about a lot of things for a long time now and this was a great opportunity to get rid of one of the (main) reasons. Before he could manage to make a decision, he hears a thump upstairs which means one thing: Aaron is still playing. It's almost 10pm and Jack still hasn't put him to bed. He tells Ben he should leave and he responds, "You're right, I should go talk to the others," and Jack closes the door on his face before he could say anything about digging up Kate and putting her in his creepy-ass van.

Two hours after Jack put Aaron to bed and he was just lying in bed thinking, Jack made his decision. He's going back.

But just because Jack is going back doesn't mean Aaron is. Oh no, Jack is not exposing Aaron to that madness. This only means one thing: Jack has to contact Claire's mother.

Finding her was surprisingly easy; turns out that after his father's funeral, Carole Littleton moved into a small apartment just a few streets away from St. Sebastian's. He plans to go there on his lunch break.

He decides that he's just going to get straight to the point since Ben made it very clear they were short on time. But to tell someone that you have been keeping their grandson without as much as a phone call for 3 years isn't exactly easy.

"Why didn't you come to me in the first place? Or at the funeral? Or after the funeral?"

Jack should really have prepared for this. But what else did he expect? That she was going to be understanding and just take Aaron with no questions asked?

"You don't understand, Ms. Littleton. We had to stick together; for our safety, including Aaron's." He makes it sound as if they were in danger and they had no choice. She seems to ease up and lets him continue (she's probably still wondering why come to her now).

"I'm here telling you this because...well, because, I'm going away for awhile and I'm not sure how long but I'm going to have to find someone to look over Aaron and I thought you deserve to know and spend time with him. If this is too sudden for you and you don't want to do it..."

"When are you leaving?"

"I'm planning on leaving tomorrow or something. But, again, if this is too sudden and you don't want to do it, you don't have to. I don't think I have to really go but...but it would be nice to go."

"Where are you going?"

Jack should have definitely been prepared for this part. Of course she was going to ask. And what is he going to say? "I'm going back to the Island I spent months on stranded"? That didn't exactly sound sane and she might get him convicted to an insane asylum and press charges for "kidnapping" her grandchild. So, he's going to lie.

"There's a doctor conference in Indonesia and it sounds pretty interesting and I think it would really help my work and save people's lives." He's pretty sure that there was some island near Indonesia that they said that's where they crashed and Ben did say that he needed to go back and it sounded like it was to save lives so, really, this isn't exactly far away from the truth.

She believes it and says she'll take Aaron and they make arrangements for meeting with Aaron that night. Jack knows he should say he's probably going to come back with Claire, that he's going back for her (but really, it's mostly for himself) and just tell her a little more of the truth. But he doesn't and leaves her apartment with a quick goodbye.

The meeting with Aaron was actually smoother than what Jack expected. He was nervous at first, didn't trust Carole, but after Jack made it clear that this was his grandmother but different from Grandma Shephard, he started to ease up.

He starts calling Carole Nana Carole and telling her everything that happened at preschool that day soon after that. But after a few minutes, Carole excused herself from the room, knowing that Jack needed to be alone with Aaron to tell him he was going away.

"Aaron, I need to tell you something."

"Uncle Jack, can I have purple juice?"

"Yeah, you can but you need to listen to me first. Aaron, please look at me. I'm going away for awhile and I'm not sure when I'm coming back. You're going to stay with Nana Carole when I'm gone, okay? She's going to take care of you and you have to be very good, got it?" Aaron nods, looking a little confused. "Good," Jack says because it really does feel good that Aaron does understand this one thing.

Jack's not good at goodbyes. At all. In fact, he avoids them whenever he has the chance. But he feels as if he needs to give Aaron a proper goodbye so he hugs him, tells him he loves him and goes on his way (he figures leaving sooner rather than later would be better).

He goes to a bar afterward (he's not sure if this was the right decision).

Ben calls him at 3 o'clock in the morning. He tells Jack that he has to buy a ticket for Fiji that leaves at around 6pm on Ajira Airways. That's all he says and he still doesn't answer Jack's questions.

He gets a ticket easy which, again, is surprising. It's almost like he's supposed to go back (almost).

When he finally gets to the airport, Ben is outside, waiting for him. He tells him that he's in charge of checking Kate's coffin in because he finds it "appropriate". Jack doesn't ask him how he dug her up or when or anything that has to do with her body because he doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't even want to think of it.

He checks in the coffin with ease and the attendant keeps looking at him sympathetically. He wants to tell her that the body in the casket is practically a year old but he doesn't see the point in that (how would that stop making her look at him sympathetically?).

When he gets to the gate, he's finally surprised. Sayid, Sun and Hurley are all sitting in chairs waiting (not together though, Jack notices). He didn't even know that any of them were in LA. The last time he heard from any of them was when Kate died. Sayid sent a letter from Germany, Sun sent flowers from Korea and Hurley actually visited and came to the funeral. He wonders if they didn't talk to him because they thought he needed space or that they just didn't care anymore (when you stop living on an Island where you know (most) people and start living in an over-crowded world that can happen). Maybe they didn't contact him because he didn't contact them first. But none of that matters now.

He sits 3 chairs away from Sun, 6 away from Hurley and 13 away from Sayid. It feels weird. He feels as if he should go over to each of them and talk. Maybe they don't know exactly why they're here. Maybe they're here by coincidence and they don't know they're going back to Island. Maybe they don't know that Kate's coffin is being loaded on the plane right now. Maybe he's just lonely and wants someone to talk to.

But after the man behind the counter asks for a Sam O'Neill to come to the desk does Jack realize that there are other people on this plane; people that think they are actually going to Fiji, not to some whacked-out Island. Jack starts to wonder (and worry) what's going to happen to these people.

A few minutes later, Jack and the rest of the Oceanic 6 and Ben are sitting on the plane, waiting for their lives to change drastically yet again. They still don't speak to each other and hardly ever look. It's like they all afraid that if they do, their secret will leak.

The first few hours are quiet and it creeps him out that a plane full of people could be so quiet. He wishes she was beside him. If he closes his eyes and concentrate hard enough, he can see her sitting there, scared but not showing it and telling him that this was a very stupid idea. He almost laughs but he doesn't for one tiny little reason: she's not there. And he's not about to laugh at his hallucinations.

When he opens his eyes, they hit turbulence. At first, he just thinks it just normal turbulence (a flight without turbulence is odd to him) but then the plane starts violently shaking and flight attendants are falling and flying everywhere. He thinks this is it. We're going back. There's no turning around now. That's when a bright light appears and no one can see anything.

He wakes in the jungle. It's just like the first time but for some reason, he doesn't hurt. At all. The first time he came to the Island he hurt everywhere and ached for days. This just feels as if he took a nap.

He gets up and starts walking to the left. He doesn't know what's there (he doesn't even remember how he laid out things in his mind 3 years ago), he doesn't know if he's going towards the ocean or away from it. He doesn't know if he's going closer to people or farther. Jack stops then. What happened to everyone on board?

He starts running then but when he hears someone scream, he runs even faster. He finds Hurley almost drowning in a lagoon (which he almost remembers) and he jumps in to try to save him.

When he gets Hurley to land (ends up that Hurley was just freaking out, he wasn't drowning at all), he hears music coming towards them. 70's music. A blue Dharma van emerges from the bushes but it looks almost brand new. A man comes out pointing a gun at them but it's not just a man. It's Jin. To say that Jack's surprised would be an understatement.

Ends up Sawyer, Juliet, Jin, Miles and Faraday (who left some months ago) have spent the last 3 years working and living with the Dharma Initiative (Locke's not with them. Sawyer says that after 2 months, he split into the jungle). In the 70's. Something about time-travel and headaches and nosebleeds made them go back to the 70's. Yeah, Jack is confused too.

Sawyer (who goes by James now) tells them to pretend that they're new recruits (they find Sayid farther in the jungle but they haven't found Sun anywhere) and they all line up in Processing Center waiting to get their jobs. Jack doesn't care what job he gets. He just wants to know what's been going on.

He gets a janitorial job, Hurley works in the kitchen and Sayid is a mechanic. Sawyer (James) tells them to just act normally and start planning on living for the here and now. It sounds as if it was pointless for him to come back (he knew this was a bad decision).

On the first night he sees Juliet and Sawyer kiss. He thinks good for them but really, he's jealous (he wishes that was him and Kate).

The next few weeks go by fast. Nothing exciting happens which is very unusual for this Island (unless you count living in the 70's with the Dharma Initiative exciting). Jack does his cleaning duties without complaint (it reminds him of cleaning up after Aaron. Except he thinks Aaron is probably messier), Hurley enjoys cooking and Sayid doesn't say much about his job. It doesn't matter though, they all feel that this was a bad thing to come back but never talk about it. They just live for the here and now (just like what James said).

They haven't found Sun yet or even Ben. Jack wonders where they could be. It feels as if they checked the whole damn Island and yet, nothing. Jin seems to do the searching himself and searches every single chance he gets (Jack's sure that he only gets 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night). Jack can imagine what it would feel like if it was him and Kate (if she wasn't dead, he would say he would die. But now it just feels like living after your own death).

Jack wishes they could find Ben though and not because he likes and misses him (he still finds him a manipulative bastard that should just leave him and everyone else alone). He still has a lot of questions to ask him. Like why did they have to come back? Everyone seems to be doing fine. Why did they have such a short time period? What are they supposed to do now? Take Sawyer's (James) advice and just live? (His worry for the other people slowly died off when he realized that no plane was detected in 5 months).

On their third week of living in Dharma bliss, Faraday comes back to the Island, saying he has great news. He doesn't tell them what it is until he's been on the Island for at least half a day (I'm not here to tell you right away, Jack). But he finally tells them a little after lunch time.

"I can make it so that plane doesn't crash."

Jack's never one that likes redos (his father taught him when he was young that you only have one life, there's no such things as do-overs) but he will redo this. Sawyer says he's crazy for wanting to help Faraday, says that it won't matter, he and Kate won't know each other.

"Sawyer, the point is that she'd be living. I'd rather have her a stranger and alive than a lover dead."

"But, she was going to jail, probably for life."

"Knowing her, she'll probably get out."

"What are the chances that a fugitive would meet a fancy doctor like you, Jack?"

"If it's meant to be, it's meant to be."

He leaves Sawyer at that and goes to help Faraday (he's only one that said he would. Everyone just said that he, and Jack, was insane). Jack's kind of mad at Sawyer (screw calling him James. It won't matter in a day) telling he was insane though. He knows that if Juliet was the one that was dead, Sawyer would be right there beside Faraday. How could he say that Jack was insane?

The plan with Faraday is a little flimsy. Faraday has to walk into a camp of Others, talk to his mother, make his mother believe that she's wrong (about what? Jack doesn't know nor does he care) and try to get her to help. Jack can feel it in his gut that something's going to go wrong.

He's right (it's one of those times where he wishes he wasn't). Faraday gets shot almost right away and crumbles to knees with blood falling out of him. Jack's caught only 30 seconds after watching Faraday die.

They don't believe him; they think he's insane. He heard someone say they should just kill him (a part of him wants them to too). But he continues to say what Faraday told him before and they continue to not believe (because, really, who's going to believe that you can make a plane not crash? A plane that crashed in 2004?).

He wants to give up, just let them do whatever they want to him (just end his life, it's useless anyway) but Sayid appears from the bushes just as he shuts his mouth.

"Listen to this man! He is telling the truth! I know it's hard to believe but we're here to see a person named Eloise."

"Why should we believe you?" a man yells and Jack's pretty sure it's the same guy that said they should kill him.

"It doesn't matter if you believe us or not, we just want to talk to Eloise, just for a few minutes."

And just like that, Jack and Sayid are sitting in a tent talking to this Eloise. She doesn't believe but she says she'll help but only on the condition that even if it doesn't work, they have to leave her group alone. Sure, enough, it's a deal.

They have to go to a hydrogen bomb to get some piece which will blow up and make everything better (he hopes, God, he hopes). But the Others (Hostiles, whatever) buried it deep, so deep in fact that they have to swim through an underwater cave to get to it.

The swimming is supposed to be the easy part but it isn't for Jack. The last time he went swimming was with Kate, a year and a half ago. He didn't want to go but she persuaded him (how? He doesn't remember; it kills him that he can't) like everything else she makes him do. They had a lot of fun that day; it was just the two of them.

Sayid seems to know how to do get the part they need out of the bomb and Jack would be impressed if a) he never met Sayid before and b) he cared. He doesn't even care what this part is called that will make everything that has happen in the past 3 years never happen.

After Sayid has the part safe and secure in his backpack, Eloise leaves them, telling them to do whatever they think they have to do.

The next few hours are just mayhem. When Sayid and Jack went to deal with the hydrogen bomb, Sawyer and Juliet were suspected as Hostiles (why? Jack doesn't know or asks. They have work to do) which made Sawyer get beaten and Juliet a split lip. This made Miles, Jin and Hurley help them escape and run into jungle. This is how Sayid and Jack found them.

"Now, listen, Jack, just because we were kicked out of the Dharma party doesn't mean we're going to jump on your crazy train and help you do whatever you think is going to work," Sawyer says when Jack asks why they're all in the jungle.

"Yes, we are," Juliet says calmly, almost like she understands (Jack hopes she does because he just wants one person to understand).

Sawyer, of course, is appalled, confused and probably hurt by this. Juliet takes him behind a tree to talk to him privately but Jack really wants to know what she's saying because, really, he's confused too.

When they return, Sawyer says he'll help but it doesn't sound like he means it and they all walk to the Swan station.

Like expected, things don't go smoothly. Jack was supposed to go by himself and drop the bomb down the shaft while everyone waited at the tree line. But some people spotted Jack hiding behind an unused van and started firing. But everyone came to Jack's rescue, shot back and killed some folk who probably shouldn't have died and now Jack's standing at shaft, looking down. For the first time since he heard the plan, all he could think was What if this doesn't work?

Sawyer shouts something at him (probably telling him to drop the damn thing) but Jack's mind just keeps repeating that question over and over again. He drops it when he hears Sawyer walking over.

A bright light appears then which is eerily similar to the light on the plane and Jack just closes his eyes and prays that it works.