Narrator: CRISIS! The Superheroes must find Coach Sue's stolen Cheerios playbook or Blaine must face her villainous wrath! He's too much of a cutie-pie for that to happen! Two of our brave heroes, Nightbird and Blonde Chameleon, have gone on an " private investigation" while the rest of the Society are pursuing other leads. Let's listen in!
"This is the boringest mystery ever," Sweet and Spicy sighed. "I'm tired of going through all this Cheerio equipment."
"There's a lot of fancy panties in this one," Asian Persuasion said, her voice muffled. She was tossing all the underwear out of the bag, one by one, onto the floor. "But there's no playbook in here." Tarantula Head's face burned scarlet.
"Hey, hey, hey," Matthew McConaughey snickered, and Blonde Chameleon's head popped out from outside the door. There was a loud slurp of liquid from a straw.
"Where have you been, Sam? WAIT. Did. You. Two. Go. To. Starbucks? That was your private investigation?"
Dr. Y hissed, "I'd like to investigate those two. Bow-chicka-wow-wow."
Nightbird stepped in the room. Resolute. Cool. Bold. "I really thought the Cheerios playbook was at Starbucks. I was there right before the book went missing. And then we had to go deal with Sam's thing."
The rest of the Superheroes had the same annoyed look on their faces. "WHAT SAM THING?"
Blonde Chameleon sighed. "Okay. So, we were watching the end of season 2 Sherlock last night. So I got to thinking. I totally think Blonde Chameleon would survive that fall! So Nightbird had to come with me to check this out, because he thinks he would survive that fall but with less injury! There's a wall right near that Starbucks that looks like that wall! We had to take pictures and make scale drawings and bring out Blaine's model working Nightcopter and we just shot it off the roof until that lady threatened to call the cops on us. And then Starbucks." Slurrrrp.
"So waitttt a minute. How did that help? Blaine's going to get into a lot of trouble if he doesn't return that book - "
"Oh yeah. Here."
Sam took the Cheerios playbook from his back pocket and offered it to Blaine. "So, uh. You left it behind in Starbucks before and I found it and then forgot to give it to you. Mystery solved."
Blaine turned the book over in his hands, wonderingly. "I'm glad this is back. Why didn't you give it to me before?"
"Dude. We were having so much fun back there! You're going to New York and we might not get more chances to just be dudes and have fun - " and there was a small quiver in Blonde Chameleon's voice, which was Sam's own voice now, not someone else's.
Asian Persuasion and Sweet and Spicy sniffled a little. Tarantula Head gave them both a thumbs up. Queen B threw underwear at Blaine. Dr. Y whispered: "Kiss! Kissssss!"
And no, they didn't kiss, but they did the next best thing. Nightbird bowled Blonde Chameleon over, embracing him snugly within the voluminous folds of his cloak. Blonde Chameleon closed his eyes. "Sam! You're my best friend. We'll always be dudes and have fun and we'll always be together. I promise."
Promise?"
"Always. Promise."
This time, everyone threw underwear at them. Blaine and Sam really didn't mind.