I don't own Fate/Zero or the characters.
"This place again."
"Saber, you said you would die for your ideals. When you were alive, you must have been a saint! A proud and noble figure, certainly. But who can truly admire the thorny path of a martyr? Who dreams of such an ending? The king—he must be greedier than any other. He must laugh louder and rage harder. He must exemplify the extreme of all things, good and evil. That is why his retainers envy and adore him. And why the flames of aspiration, to be like the king, can burn within his people. Proud king of chivalry… The righteousness and ideals you bore may indeed have saved your nation once. However, I'm certain you know what became of those who were saved, but left to themselves…"
"…You saved them, but you never led them. You never showed them what a king should be. You abandoned your men when they lost their way. Then, alone and untroubled, you followed your own petty little ideals. Thus, you are no true king. You are only a little girl, enraptured by a false idol of the king who serves others, but not themselves."
The words pricked her heart. This must be what conviction feels like. Saber looked around. At all the bodies pierced with swords and arrows. The pile of corpses upon which she kneeled, a gory throne atop a lonely battlefield, thousands wasted.
This must be what condemnation looks like.
Saber never forgave Rider for his words, which at the time had shaken the foundation of her beliefs. He questioned her very essence and suggested that her entire life was a lie. Later that night she struggled to rebuff the sting of his message. The mere possibility that she was living a fallacy—that her ideals were only a delusion—threatened to crush her heart and pave the path for despair. For what reason did she ask to become a guardian if not to protect Britain? How could she, as flawed a person as herself, in good conscience wish to once again rule the nation? If such was the case, then how egotistical could she be? Nay, she would rather fail here than contribute anymore to her country's sodden state. And at last empty of sorrow and dignity she could not help laughing at the unforeseen quirk of fate: how history remembered her as Britain's salvation when in fact she in all likelihood stifled the country's rise to prominence.
Return to the present where beneath her the faces of Lancelot, Sir Gareth, Sir Gawain, and the rest of knights continually accused her; she could not escape their stare. For every night she made her bed upon their shallow grave. If possible she would have fled their presence the moment she arrived, but some magical force, perhaps the will of heaven, confined her to that space, able to travel no further than where the circle of light shone through the clouds in the day.
And Rider's speech did more than produce within her unbearable remorse; it incited a spark of jealousy. She envied how the Macedonian soldiers adored their leader and how enthusiastic they were to fight for him. She envied how Iskandar could count himself among his troops, a person…just like them.
Recalling her own experiences, mounted on the tallest steed and armed with the supreme weapon, Saber could claim no such thing. Often her own forces feared to stray too close during battle lest they too invite her judgment, her wrath, along with the enemy.
Truly, she walked alone. Now more than ever. On all sides nothing but devastation. A continual haze filled the air, polluted by war and smelling of decay. A forsaken field destitute of virtue and honor and all the things she held dear. She could go mad in this place. Either that or waste away.
"Sweetie, please wake up." A voice, tender and feminine, cut through the fog and ripped the curtains of that dystopian world apart. "It's time for breakfast, so we need to sit up. We don't want to be late now, do we?"
Saber opened her eyes and the murky clouds were replaced with bright fluorescent light from commercial bulbs fixed to a smooth ceiling. She found herself in a white room draped in white sheets and attended to by a nurse dressed in white.
"Ah, there you are! Good morning. I trust you slept well. You must have been tired; it's been fifteen hours. Now, I have your slippers right here. If you get situated I'll put them on for you." The lady displayed the dainty footwear.
Saber slowly sat up, observing the world around her as if for the first time. She wasn't able to think of how she could have possibly turned up here when just moments ago she had been waiting out the years as a counter guardian. Saber focused on the person who patiently waited on her. "Who are you?"
The nurse's face fell. "Aw, why do you wound me so? Don't you remember your best friend Anna? We've been together for weeks now, but I understand. You have it really rough." She tilted her head sympathetically. "Perhaps after you get a bite to eat your memory will come back."
"You are not my friend. I have never seen you before. Where am I?" Saber swung her legs over the side and was about to boost herself from the bed when a hand landed on her elbow.
"Sweetie, I know you are confused and a little scared, but if you just go with the flow, everything will be explained. Believe it or not, this is not the first time you woke up with amnesia. Usually it goes away after a couple days, so don't worry. You'll feel like yourself again." The nurse patted her elbow and smiled encouragingly.
Saber looked the other way in disbelief, organizing her thoughts. This couldn't be happening. It was impossible. How did she end up back in the modern world without being summoned? There was no master to greet her. She felt the side of her snowy gown. No Excalibur. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
Without another word she jumped to her feet, slipping past the nurse's grasp, and ran for the door. She needed to find somebody who would know. Like Kiritsugu. She pulled on the door handle, but it wouldn't budge. It was locked from the inside. She turned around to spot the nurse on a walkie-talkie, muttering into the receiver.
Upon being discovered the nurse quickly put it away and resumed her pleasant façade. "It's going to be alright, Sweetie. No one's going to hurt you."
Saber shook her head. You better believe it, she thought. Wait. Why would they hurt me in the first place? Growing more and more alarmed she attacked the handle again. It was futile; the doors were designed for the purpose of preventing escapes. Saber, more out of frustration than belief it would work, kicked it, having forgotten she was barefoot. Regardless of the painful throbs she marched over to the nurse, grabbed her scrubs, and pushed her against the bed. Despite the nurse's considerable advantage in height, Saber managed to come off intimidating. "You will tell me where I am, or so help you—"
Saber grunted as two hands reached around her neck and pulled her off the frightened nurse. More arms joined in the attempt to secure flailing limbs. A particular person gripped both legs and swept Saber off her feet. Thrown to the floor Saber turned vicious and placed a few good punches before the back-up managed to hold her still. Saber strained against the various clutches, but they were too professional and too well-placed to escape. At length a needle came into view and Saber watched as it entered her neck; the workers visibly relaxed. Saber never felt so helpless before. She fought the impending drowsiness, but like the conflict with her fate, it was a losing battle.
Please review. Fate/Stay Night is my favorite anime to write for. Anything is appreciated. Thnx 4 Reading!